Best of 4chan greentext stories

>be me 24
>lifes fucked

wat do

>walk into this thread expecting great things
>2 posts
>cry

bump having a shitty time right now
moar

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>>582941459

>>582941318
Nothing. You're home now. Give in.

It was always meant to be this way.

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>>582941489
i can help
>underrated green text i saw

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>>582941098
This is pretty good

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>>582941498
here, have this

>its obviously fake, but man i laughed so damn hard

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never see this one posted

>>582941380
Damn I hope this shit actually happened

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Read it in their voices

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taking a break from the reposted shit

>>582941098
Someone have the aftermath to this?
The song guy actually came on 4chan and made a thread when he saw that. He had like 60000 plays at that point.

>>582942083
that's not fucking funny

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>>582942337
see
>>582941730

>>582941880
I see this all the time, but I don't think it's that funny. Can someone explain it? What am I missing?

>>582942781

you're autistic

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>>582941774
Shit quality.

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>>582942781
just a kid accidently kicking another kid int he face and fucking up his speech making it funny

>>582942083
thats not fucking funny

>>582942708
Shit, how did i miss that.

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/r/ing some spoopy grentext

>>582942781
he accidentally combined the phrases "are you okay" and "i'm so fucking sorry" so it became "are you fucking sorry?" making him sound like he was in a competitive rage.

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Love this one.

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>>582942957
shit, my bad dude. i don't know why i had that thumbnail saved. here's the full size

>>582942083
that's not fucking funny

>>582942781
He tried to say the two sentences at the same time, so what came out was, are you fucking sorry? Which is a reference to a previous (nonexistant) act of aggression by said goalie, and that the OP is apparently paying him back for. Dumbass.

>>582942379
i couldn't fucking breathe the first time i read this one

>>582942083
that's pretty fucking funny

>>582942204
KEK

>>582942379
i thought i knew what a retard....but i was completely wrong. that op is the stupidest bitch ever. apparently 6 years ago /b/ was stupid as fuck

>>582941098
That one was great

>>582942781
agreed its fucking dumb

>>582942204
>taking a break from the reposted shit
This is the third time in as many days that I have seen this.

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I have a collection ill dump for u fags

>>582942938
>you're autistic

You need to check your neurotypical privilege.

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>>582944896
F

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>>582942959
dang

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>>582945109
A

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Not greentext but funny as hell though

>>582941098
Had to fall

To lose it all

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>>582945189
G

>>582943752
why

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>>582945279
G

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>>582943752

>>582942959

That is one fucked up child.

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>>582945279
O

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>>582945510
T

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Posting my favorite one since I don't see it here.

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>>582945614
S

>>582941765
when it comes to kids, I'm generally a good person. But when a kid starts shitting himself whenever h's upset, that's the point where you have to start beating some habits out of your damn child.

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>>582945719

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>>582945818
K

>>582943058
twas on /r9k/

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>>582945972
I

>>582943752

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>>582946038
L

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>>582946206
L

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>>582946380

>>582941774
And no one ever will. Jfc do you know what a jpeg is???

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>>582943636

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>>582946520
Y

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>>582946691

>>582946038
Read it in sgt gunnery Hartman's voice, keked hard.

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Personal favorite.

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>>582946825
O

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>>582946879
Glad u enjoyed it m8

>>582946949
U

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>>582947137
R

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topkek

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>>582947239
S

>>582942083
that's hilarious!

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>>582947689
E

>>582941774
>Anonymous (ID: AvF5h6Dw) 12/03/14(Wed)23:23:07 No.582941774▶>>582942957
well played

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>>582947853
L

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Anybody got flim flam the zim zam?

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>>582948004
V

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>>582948156
E

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>>582948156
S

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>>582943752
get brain cancer, fucker

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>>582948338
I

>>582946485
fuck, that was hot.

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>>582948462
M

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>>582948562
M

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>>582948734
E

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>>582948898
D

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>>582948994
I

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>>582949141
A

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>>582949228
T

>>582942959
Fuck enabling parents, they are the worst parents ever and should not be able to reproduce.
They need to be told what to tell their children or they will literally end up injured like in pic

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>>582949397
E

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>>582949591

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>>582949876
L

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>>582949974
Y

>>582943636
>>582943752
Keks

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>>582941098 (Are a faggot, op)

>>582942083
that's not fucking funny

>>582949876
>RIP
>in peace
>rest in peace in peace
>yfw the peace it's resting in is now in peace
>you've wished it even greater luck with your shit tier grammar
>im still gonna find and murder you for it

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>>582943752
not gonna lie, thought both of these images were the same language.

>>582945109

this is literally a gag from Cranked 2

>>582950781
newfag confirmed

>>582942379
Hahaha omfg my fuggin sides, jesus fuckin christ
>After completing my underwater tests, which were underwater...
Lost it

>>582945279
Based Anon

>>582945972
This ones just legendary

>>582941380
lol'd. i pray this happened. i want to believe

>>582950781
remember to slit his throat, so he dies of an eternal bleeding.

>>582942083
read it in their voices you satanic fuck

>>582950126
don't tell me what to do you shitstain

>>582942379
i've seen this fucking picture for years and yet i always have the same stupid confused fuckwit look on my face when i read it.. no level of autism has ever been achieved as that OP did on that day.

>>582945189
>>>>>>>still undefeated

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>>582941098
bamp with shit

>>582946949
I'm crying, fuck. Good one anon

>>582953126
>the sexual act is completely finished

29/10

>>582946549
This isnt even funny. It's not even feely. like what the fuck is this even? I'm so confused.

>>582941098
Anybody got the greentext of the guy thst fucked his friends aunt in the bed he was sleeping in?

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This one hurts

>>582955827
>ever touching datura
>fucking ever
why?!?

i would legit fuck with heroin before i fucked with datura

>>582955462
I still don't get this one, it's like both of them are interested in each other at first??? im so lost

>>582956048
Moral of the story is don't do datura kids

>>582956313
the worst part is, i think that is literally the best trip report i have heard from datura

>>582947271
Watched this shit happen
10/10 after 10 years here

>>582956875
some of the reports on erowid are kekworthy

>>582956875
Can confirm.
I somehow ended up in a psych ward in restraints in a city ive never veen too with nothing.
Spent a month there