You all deserve to die
>double penetration post
>hold onto your slides
>Live with my wife at a mental asylum, we work there as grounds keepers.
>Been working here since I was 25
>Life is okay, but still not where I wanna be
>Wake up early on a saturday
>Go to the balcony and light a joint
>See my wife coming home from her midnight shift
>Call down to her "what's up sherry"
>She doesn't hear me
>Shout louder "HEY SHERRY"
>She still doesn't hear me
>Scream as loud as I possibly can "WHAT'S GOING ON SHERRY"
>She comes upstairs and I ask her "did you hear me calling?
>She says no, asked if I even tried yelling loud enough
>Did I try?
>Oh my god did I try
>I tried all that time
>In this institution.
>sitting in my English class
>a question is asked
>hands go up to answer the question
>lecturer points to Annie, he says "you, by the window, the African"
>she says she's never even been to Africa.
>he says that her descendants are from Africa.
>"so are yours", she says back.
>teacher says he's Christian and evolution never happened and that blacks and white aren't the same people.
>gasps heard around the class.
>Annie looks upset
>"Not different species, but more like a bike and a unicycle." he says.
>"Which one am I?" says Annie.
>He instantly proclaims, "You're the unicycle!"
>Annie runs from the class, the teacher is in hot pursuit.
>I looked out to see what had happened
>She was struck down, it was her doom
>there's bloodstains on the wall
>"Annie are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?"
>she tells me she was hit by, she was struck by, a smooth criminal.
The anon who wrote this, came back just the other night and greentexted another story, which I'll post in the reply. Was up until ~7am waiting for him to finish it.
and still no original banana is posted, proud of you all right now.
Obama really likes his really, really, really funny bananas.
I could make a whole ylyl thread myself with just really, really, really funny bananas.
Your face when you see another ylyl thread full of bananas.
>Be 16 years old
>Very influential and loved annoying people
>Saw nedges random cowboy rodeo
>decided to start jumping on randoms at school
>Successfully ride strangers for 12 seconds plus
>Friends amazed at my skill
>Be soaking up all the glory
I'd almost rather see all these fucking banana pictures than those fake graded papers.
>find a big fat dude, 6'2" easily
>he's playing four square with a tennis ball unaware of my pouncing skills
>leap straight up onto him, jump a bit high
>pretty much strangling his neck while he flails around trying to get rid of me
>slapping him on the ass screaming WOAAAAAH NELLY the whole time
>he runs forward and trips over
>faceplants into wall scrapes up face badly
>I freak out and run away around a corner
>be period 3
>get called up to principles office
>principle sits down with serious look on his face, fat kid next to him with dried blood and scraps + huge lump next to eye from collision
>tells whole story to principle while I sit there looking amazed
>Casually tell the principle it wasn't, a friend vouched for me I was on the soccer pitch all lunch
>I say"I bet this is another stupid mix up like that other redhead kid I always got mistaken for in primary school"
>other red head gets called up to office
>whole story told again to him while I am trying not to laugh
>he denies it, couldn't believe they are blaming him but no one could vouch for where he was at lunch
>Fat kid is raging, he knew it was me but doesn't have the proof
>fat kid looks like he is gonna blow a nut, principle asks him to leave
>principle talks to both us red heads seriously
>asks who ever it was to confess
>crack the shits and pretty much treat him like a racist *no blacks at our school*
>Office assistant walks in to calm me down
>I ask her if she thinks the principle is racist
>blank face, walks out straight away
>blame the red head "ratty piece of shit always smoking behind the school, of course he is trying to get me in trouble"
> principle asks me to leave
>go to lockers, angry rednut comes out.. apparently is being suspended
>about to punch me when one of my lame skinny friends makes a joke about him being angry
>lame friend knocked to the ground one hit
>principle rushes over and screams at the psycho ginger cunt
>apologises for blaming me
>Principle turns around and starts walking towards office
>Moment of glory has arrived
>Charge at the principle and leap one leg over shoulder other one gripped under his armpit
> flailing about wildly screaming WOAH NELLY
> Decided to go all in - "THIS RACIST BULL NEEDS TO BE TAMED"
>principle still struggling as he falls to the ground and gets knocked unconcious
>Teachers saw nothing but heard it and rush over
>Blame the angry red head with blood on his knuckles from previous punch
>He gets dragged away to the office screaming it was me
>it was a good day
Yeah, I discovered this a while back. The entire website is fucking retarded
Can you spot the banana? Official IQ test, 93% fail it!
sadly it is not, it is chemo
and not as bad as this day/weeks
> Come home after a long day at work
> See this
> What do?
i actually kind of enjoy some of the banana fan stuff. i've even had a few laughs from shit like pic related.
i love banana.
Hello newfriend, is this your first day on the internet? Please visit encyclopediadramatica.se/Offended for advice on what to do if the really, really, really funny banana offends you. Sorry to see that you are upset.