A little girl wants to go to the movies, so she goes up to her dad and says "Daddy, can I have €10 for to see a film with my friends?"
Her Dad thinks about it and says "Ok, but only if you suck my dick"
The girl really wants to see the film, so she gets down to business.
After a few minutes, she's wiping her mouth and says "Eww Daddy, that tasted like shit!"
"Yeah" her Dad said "Your brother wanted a bike."
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the jaw
Whats blue and fucks old women?
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
How many jews can you fit in a mini?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10,000 in the ashtray
Whats long, brown and smells like shit?
The dole queue
how many able bodied people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
do you know what you call an able bodied guy on the door step?
whatever his name is.
Little boy out playing, finds a welding mask, puts one the mask and pretends he's a storm trooper, truck driver turns up " hey son, what you doing?" Kid replays "nothing, just on my way home". Trunk driver say "jump in I'll give you a lift".
The boy still wearing the helmet gets up into the truck and off they go.
" tell me boy, do you know what buggery is?"
Kid replys "nope".
"How about sodomy?"
"No" the boy says
"Do you know what a pedophile is?" Whisper the trucker.
The kid lifts the mask,
"Look mate, I can't lie, I'm not a real welder."
Why little Timmy didn't went to school?
Because his mom made an abortion.
Father is molesting hi son and says:
"see, son, how bad it is without mommy"
Why t-rex can't clap with his hands?
Because he's dead.
A girl with no hands comes to the kitchen and sees her mommy. Then she goes to her and asks: "Mommy, can I have a biscuit?" and mommy says "You are a big girl now, go get it by yourself, dear". The little girl stands for a moment and then says: "but mommy, I don't have any hands..."
"Well..." says the mommy "No hands - no biscuits then..."
What's big, long and black?
The unemplyoment line...
It's the story of a prisonner who finaly got freed. After 20 years of prison, he wants to have sex, of course.
He goes to a prostitute, and ask her for a blowjob. She agree. At the moment he is to cum, she wants to remove her head. But he holds it tight.
He still keep his cock in her mouth. And finally cum.
"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT " she yelled.
and him to answer:
"20 years of age, you better enjoy this vintage one."
what do black men do after sex?
fifteen to life!
how do you get a black out of a tree?
cut the rope!
a black and a mexican are sitting in a car. who's driving?
What's the difference between a nigger and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of 4