Bad joke thread. Post your worst joke.

If onion makes you cry, does tomatoes make you laugh?

a jew, a banker, a swindler and a race-mixer walk into a bar

the bartander grabs him and throws him in the gas chamber

What do you call 5 niggers having sex?

A 3-way.

OP

>>577548738
good one

>>577548982
Rape?

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey!

>>577549935
Think history class.

>>577549989
I chuckled

>>577550250
Because they're only 1.5% of a person?

op is not a fag

the next sentence is true. the previous sentence is false.

>>577547556
Want to hear a dirty joke?
two white horses fell in the mud.
Want to hear the dirty part?
Three came out

>>577551259
3/5 compromise

>>577547556
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a pint of beer and a mop...

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A bagel xD

What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.

>>577551795
my legs just slammed shut

>>577547556
wpad facet do kanalu i koniec kawalu : - )

A little girl wants to go to the movies, so she goes up to her dad and says "Daddy, can I have €10 for to see a film with my friends?"
Her Dad thinks about it and says "Ok, but only if you suck my dick"
The girl really wants to see the film, so she gets down to business.
After a few minutes, she's wiping her mouth and says "Eww Daddy, that tasted like shit!"
"Yeah" her Dad said "Your brother wanted a bike."

How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the jaw

Whats blue and fucks old women?
Hypothermia

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.

How many jews can you fit in a mini?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10,000 in the ashtray

Whats long, brown and smells like shit?
The dole queue

>knock knock
Who's there
>It's the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alchohol

What do you call a nigger holding a bow and arrow?
Lebolas.

A Julius Ceasar comes into bar, put two fingers in air and says: 5 beers please.

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>>577547556

Are you a beaver...

...cus...dam

>>577547556
>Bad joke

my life

>>577552968
later he comes to the bar and says: i'd like a martinus. the bartender replies: you mean a martini? julius says: no i only wanted one

>>577547556
sauce pls

>>577552812
>the driver was an alchohol
The funniest part of that joke

how do you make a little girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on her teddy bear

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>>577547556
how many able bodied people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

one


do you know what you call an able bodied guy on the door step?

whatever his name is.

What do you call 2 niggers fucking?

Fucking niggers.

>>577547556

What's orange and hanging in my back yard?

He's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

>>577551795
kek'd

>>577553325
Gr8 joke m8, i r8 5.7963/8 m8

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>>577553335
And I throught mine was bad

>>577552442
Friends I can tell this joke: 0

Womens rights

Little boy out playing, finds a welding mask, puts one the mask and pretends he's a storm trooper, truck driver turns up " hey son, what you doing?" Kid replays "nothing, just on my way home". Trunk driver say "jump in I'll give you a lift".
The boy still wearing the helmet gets up into the truck and off they go.
" tell me boy, do you know what buggery is?"
Kid replys "nope".
"How about sodomy?"
"No" the boy says
"Do you know what a pedophile is?" Whisper the trucker.
The kid lifts the mask,
"Look mate, I can't lie, I'm not a real welder."

>>577547556

What's the best part about fucking twenty three year olds?

There's 20 of them.

>>577554347
lol

Why did the bike fall over?

it was too tired

Why little Timmy didn't went to school?
Because his mom made an abortion.

Father is molesting hi son and says:
"see, son, how bad it is without mommy"

Why t-rex can't clap with his hands?
Because he's dead.

A girl with no hands comes to the kitchen and sees her mommy. Then she goes to her and asks: "Mommy, can I have a biscuit?" and mommy says "You are a big girl now, go get it by yourself, dear". The little girl stands for a moment and then says: "but mommy, I don't have any hands..."
"Well..." says the mommy "No hands - no biscuits then..."

>>577554098
Well yeah, you have to have friends first

>>577548982
Kek

>>577555035
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit

I used to post threads like this too-then I took an arrow in the knee

A mushroom walks into a bar and immediately the bartender says I dont serve your kind here. The mushroom says why not. I'm a fun guy

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What's big, long and black?

The unemplyoment line...

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?
He paints his hoofs red!

>>577555687
No its "whats long, brown, and smells like shit"
Figgity foggity faggot

>>577547556
Id hit that
Like a 747
Am I just plane wrong for saying that?
Id do her til my tower came crashing down
In a fiery explosion

>>577547556

What did the yew say to the Nazi?

nothing, he was cremated.

It's the story of a prisonner who finaly got freed. After 20 years of prison, he wants to have sex, of course.
He goes to a prostitute, and ask her for a blowjob. She agree. At the moment he is to cum, she wants to remove her head. But he holds it tight.
"Hmgmgmmmgmgmg"
He still keep his cock in her mouth. And finally cum.
"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT " she yelled.
and him to answer:

"20 years of age, you better enjoy this vintage one."

>>577556517

the Jew.

What did the Jew say to the Nazi.

>>577556672
Whatever it was i bet it burned his ass..

>>577556086
What's brown and rhymes with snoop
Dr. Dre

What do black men call whites?

ATM machines

Guess what?

Did you here the one about the magic tractor?
It Went down the road and turned into a field

what do black men do after sex?
fifteen to life!
how do you get a black out of a tree?
cut the rope!
a black and a mexican are sitting in a car. who's driving?
the cop!
What's the difference between a nigger and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of 4

>>577557424
Chicken Butt

OP is a faggot.

There is no joke this time I just felt it needed saying.

What's themdifference between boy scouts and Jews?
Boys outs come back from camp
Why was the little Jewish boy sitting by the smokestacks?
He was waiting for his family

Why couldn't the bike stand by itself ?
Because its too tired

>>577547556
Where is an astronaut's favorite place to drink? The spacebar.

Heard on the news!
8 out 9 people finds the joy of gang rape

>>577547556
Why don't mexicans and niggers marry? They're afraid that their kids would be too lazy to steal.

>>577549989
omg this... it fucking made me laugh how the fuck... its terrible