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/B/ros, I need some advice.
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/B/ros, I need some advice.

So to summarize, I recently broke up with my girlfriend, and I'm beyond super depressed now.

So I'm fortunate enough to have a large dick.. around 9 inches or so, but body-wise, I appear rather beta, than macho.

I'm super down and need to get laid big time, but girls just see the kind beta looking me, but they don't see or know about my third leg..

Wat do, /b/... wat do.

>inb4 pull down pants and flash muh dick

Pic related; It's my dick on my ex.
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rock out with your cock out /b/ro
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She got any friends you want to fuck? She might have told stories
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>>576710505
Hang out with your wang out /b/ro
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>>576710505
>/B/
You fucked up. On the off chance I know who you are, you have trouble growing a beard, don't you?
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>>576710505
>>>/fit/
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>>576710957

Long-distance, unfortunately. It makes it so much worse, too. What a mistake I made.
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>>576711054

Nah. Don't have trouble.

And sorry, I'm so down I can't even think straight.
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>>576710505

Go to the gym you stupid fuck. It's the most obvious answer, plus gym bitches fuck best, plus you can be all "oh can you help me i'm a new little bitch...oh that's just my penis i hate underwear when I'm working out I'm so embarrassed it's sooooooo big blah blah blah" then fuck. Gym chicks also fuck easily. When i was a personal trainer I had skanks offering to suck me off every day. Literally every day.

Fuck why did I quit that shit.

Anyway, just workout. It's good for you. Dick size helps but it does jack shit if you don't have game unless you're fucking huge fat bitches or faggots
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>>576711342

True.. I know getting my ass in the gym is an obvious one. I'll head over to /fit/ soon, once I'm back home. Thanks.
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>>576710505
Emo chicks. They love that puny beta body OP. As long as you find goth/emo girls attractice they're all yours.
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>>576711261
No problem. You're not who I'm thinking of, so you don't deserve that abuse.
I'm going to ask this from a place of ignorance. Are you trying to deal with the breakup and your libido at the same time? I feel like that can only go somewhere bad. Why not get up to your neck in porn and spring for a fleshlight while dealing with the breakup some other way?
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>>576711727

Indeed. My ex was sorta the gothic type..

I just find so many emo chicks to be psycho in nature, which can be great for bed but terrible for sanity.
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>>576711896
You said you needed to get laid, nothing about dealing with them after that.

Besides, you just have to find a really meek one, they're out there and they don't have the balls to go psycho.
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>>576711873

Well, I'll be the first to admit I get jealous easily. Guess you could say insecure.

My 19 year old ex left me (22) for a fucking 30 year old neckbeard. She went crazy and just fell out of love. She was always very emotional. She has borderline personality disorder.

And anyways, I found out she's fucking her 30 year old creep so soon after our relationship. We were engaged and very happy for the longest time.

And it bothers the fuck out of me, man. I know I'm whining like a bitch, but this is my first real true love break up.
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>>576712134

Yeah, I guess I'm sorta in between right now. Do I fuck and give myself some time to heal? Or do I jump right in to another relationship?

Don't wanna regret it.
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>>576711660

No worries bro. I spent six months depressed over am ex once so I know the feeling. Then my friend killed himself over a skank and I realized bitches weren't worth it. Have fun at the gym and get that confidence up. Skull fuck a few fatties along the way. You'll be golden in no time.
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>>576711896
Do fetish porn, /b/ro. If you're beta, hit the dominatrix side. If you're as big as you claim, and get fit, then you'll make good money plus get so much ass she'll be jealous as fuck.
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>>576712435

Weirdly enough, I'm just stupidly nice in the public eye. But I love dominating whoever I'm fucking in bed.. No beta in bed, that's for sure.
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Go to hookup bar

Oh look you got laid

And you didn't even need a big dick, there are lots of girls in hookup bars that dig beta guys
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>>576712207
>I know I'm whining like a bitch
It doesn't sound like you are. Don't be stressing and self critical. Just worry about keeping and even keel.
I don't know your situation or what life's like for you, but for me, it would be best to take the time to heal, get emotions under control, and get into another relationship after all of that. Don't rush in and do something stupid because you're thinking with your dick. It might sound like a good idea right now, but some of my worst moments were due to exactly that.
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>>576712646
That just opens you up to more porn, dude. Plus you really don't need to get into a relationship. Just fuck. Don't see it as "I lost my first true love" and more like "I'm free to dunk my dick in strange anytime it's offered." I use to be the "nice guy" in people's eyes, now I still am except to people who cross the line.
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>I'm super down and need to get laid big time, but girls just see the kind beta looking me, but they don't see or know about my third leg..
walk around in bicycle shorts with a semi
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>>576712957
Surprisingly enough, I have a lot to look forward to..Getting a government certification soon, but this love shit just tears me to bits, man. Making it hard to focus. Can hardly sleep.

I guess it will just need time.. Thanks a lot for the advice, though. I like to hear how other people cope.
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Does your name start with a J?
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D.
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>>576713236
It's not easy to cope. My last relationship was fives years long and long distance. It's been over a year now, and it still bugs me when I get reminded of her. And when I start thinking stupid shit like "text her" I force myself to remember the pain and bullshit she put me through, then ask myself this one simple question. "Wanna go through more bullshit and drama?" Easy to answer and stops me from doing something stupid as fuck.
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On the bright side, my ex and I appear on different trajectories.

I'm well on the way to making 6-figures, and she decided she'd prefer some neckbeard who probably will work at a convenience store.

Am I selfish for finding happiness in that? Ha.
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>>576713951
Schadenfreude. Whatever gives you catharsis, man.
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>>576713951
Hell no. My ex was a high school drop out without a GED who got kicked out of college for lying on her app about her diploma/GED. Now she's dating a pizza delivery boy. I'll just say I'm doing well for myself.
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>>576713791

Wow. That sounds exactly the way I feel. Exactly. Went through the same shit, too.
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So what got you guys over a horrible break up the quickest?

You guys are making my mood better already, so it is appreciated.
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>>576710505
Pics of dick n ruler?
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>>576715104

Ugh, I don't really feel like doing that right now.

My dick has a bit of arch. I believe it's around 8.5 when not taking the arch into account. Fairly thick, though.
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>>576714539
You aren't alone. Worst thing you can do besides contact her is to tell yourself you are. That's coming from the mouth of a councilor I ised to see. Not because of her. My mom almost died when my ex pulled that shit. My mother's alive and well FYI. But all the BS about broke me. Now I'm doing well and laughing at her.
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>>576714940
Kind of depends on what you mean by over. It's always passed through phases for me. Wanting to call/text, depression, bitter anger, those three repeated over again, then I finally get over it. I've never gone through it faster though. Sorry.
Tuck your head between your knees is the only advice I have for that. Listen to your emotional states and how you're coping.
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>>576714940

Got ready for a fight in the ring. Beat the shit out of a giant fuck. Bitches love winners. Realized I was better than that old skank.
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>>576715778
If that's true, my hat (not fedora/trilby) is off to you alpha.
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>>576715579

I feel almost manic depressive. It's like I go back and forth between stages. I was at the anger one this morning, and posted some nudes. And then the depressive stage since then. I'll probably repeat it over again tomorrow, unless I find a way to get out of this groove.

>>576715778

Lmao.

I like you, /b/ro. I like you.
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>>576713236
>Getting a government certification soon, but this love shit just tears me to bits, man.

you can get your cock certified by the government? shit.
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>>576716125
Gotta get going. I don't usually say that shit, but I feel for you man. I wish you luck. Keep your head up!
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>>576716125
Just remembered something. Try to dismiss thoughts about her. I have no fucking idea if it helps, but I think it's helped me. Being angry, longing, depressed... they're all really heightened emotional states. It's spending a lot of your energy on someone you should be mentally moving away from. Whenever an ex creeps into my thoughts, I try to force my train of thought to be something like "Who? I remember them but it was so long ago" or "Whatever. That was in the past, and it's great that it's over now. I'm better for it." Adapt as you see fit. You might want to take a week or a month before you can apply that with some form of confidence, though.
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>>576716605

Yes. I've been appointed to Chief of Decently-Sized Cocks.

>>576716661

Thank you much, my man! You made a difference.
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>>576710505
start fucking gay dudes. they'll actually care about your dick, unlike women, faggot.
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>>576717248

Sorry, but no... It's all bitches for me, man.
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>>576710505

Hey /b/ro,

Here's the deal. Women love power and security, it's been like that since women needed a man to protect their young from external physical dangers.

These days, the physical dangers are less an issue, but the genetic desire to have powerful secure male still remains.

So what equals power and security now? A suit. Because a suit smells like money. Money is food and a house and clothing.

Doesn't matter if you're going after ghetto chicks or uptown girls, wear the "suit" for that location and you can show them your third leg when they gag on it.

E.g. in power mexican areas women have been known to have extreme physical arousal over souped up cars, because it shows their home boy has cash to look after them.

Wear your suit bro.
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>>576710505
Ever heard of Tinder?

> Create account with bunch of classy good-looking pics
> Match some chicks
> Talk a little then pull conversation to sexual spot
> "Yeah, now that I'm single its really hard to contain my 9" boy tame down there, especially when chatting with some hot girl like you"
Yeah, sounds retarded, but believe me, it works.
> "Ohh anon-kun, 9 inches? I doubt that!"
> "Ok, what about we go drink something later and you check it by yourself then?"

And thats it. Tinder makes things so easily that basically anything you vomit on the chat probably will lead you to a sex night. Just don't make it look too creep.
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>>576716125

I like you too /b/ro! Now go live it the fuck up!
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>>576716027

No alpha. It's just fun bro. Beat the shit out of a guy and then hug him afterwards and be fucking buddies. He fucked me up too though, but I was proud of that shit. I think everyone should experience that at least once. Living in the moment. It puts shit in perspective.
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>>576710505
Be a man, pussy.
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>>576717819

Yep. I just got the app on my phone. As soon as I return to Tejas, I hope it gives me some success.

And kek'd at your experience. Sounds like a mighty fine deal to me.
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>>576717610
Is that you Barney?
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>>576717819
What if you don't have a fucking 9 inch long dong, anon? WHAT IF THAT, ANON?
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>>576718551

Thanks, anon. The overwhelming amount of positive comments were beginning to scare me. A balance was needed.
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>>576718707
Welcome to the new /b/.
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>>576710505
OP heres your remedy:

1. Exercise. Go with a friend to gym or something. Releases feel good brain juices and you tone up at the same time. Also gives you something else to focus on other than all the good times you shared with ex etc.

2. Rekindle your social group. Go out, doesn't have to be clubs and bars but just go and do stuff, hang out with friends. Also make it known on social networking sites that your being social. Women are curious and I bet my life savings she's stalking your facebook now and then. If she's blocked you then you can be damn sure she's getting a friend to do it for her.

3. Give yourself goals. No one likes the guy sat alone looking depressed with no drive. Focus on something you've always wanted to do and get it done.

Lastly, make some female friends. You don't need to look at them in a sexual way, just friends that you can chill with and talk and laugh with. It'll take your mind off the other women and I guarantee you you'll realise that the grass is greener on the other side and that there are many fish in the sea.

Never mention your cock size from now on and the next woman you actually like and suprise her with it she'll appreciate it more
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Post that dick on Craigslist and girls will go crazy. Also mydatehookup is good.
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>>576718703
You can replace that with anything above 7 inches.

If you have a smaller but thicker one, use that.

If you have a smaller and thin one, use your aesthetics/fit body

If you don't have any of the above consider at least getting fit, or killing yourself.
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heys /b/rothers

im currently depressed, my first girlfriend, left me after 3 years, this was 9 months ago, until now i have been gradually getting depressed, and have developed socvial anxiety i have shut away from people i have 0 "friends" and 1 person (a 30 year old with 4 kids) who i go and talk to as my only form of company im 20 in and I have not been to college in over a month, my 21st is next month and i currently have 0 plans -.- life seems crappy atm, please give me some advice
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>>576719329
Family?
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>>576718965
>2. Rekindle your social group. Go out, doesn't have to be clubs and bars but just go and do stuff, hang out with friends. Also make it known on social networking sites that your being social. Women are curious and I bet my life savings she's stalking your facebook now and then. If she's blocked you then you can be damn sure she's getting a friend to do it for her.

I have a very close batch of friends, but no matter what they say, it still hurts as soon as I'm back home alone. But I'll keep giving it a try.

>Never mention your cock size from now on and the next woman you actually like and suprise her with it she'll appreciate it more


Never have. That would be douchey in person, imo. The element of surprise is always worth it. Great reaction every time!

Thank you for the post!
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>>576719510
only child, only family member i am close to is my mum, and i have ignored a call from her tonight, she likes to check on me eveyr now and then ,
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>>576719524
>The element of surprise is always worth it.

It depends. If you're trying to get a gf, then its better don't brag or flirt about your size.

But as you said, all you want is a hookup, so in this case, saying you have a big toy will instantly make woman (which also want just a hookup) wonder how it would be to play with it.

Woman are curious, especially the slutty ones. If you give them some tip about what you have to offer, then they will definitely bite it.
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>>576720008
Do you live alone? College? Work?
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I'm currently going through very similar shit, OP. First love, long distance, 4.5 years, she fucked/dated another guy a week later, blah blah..

I don't really have much advice outside of the standard "keep your head up, you'll bounce back" shit. Maybe go see a therapist, if only to get some shit off your chest in person. I'm thinking about doing that myself.

Anyway, I know those feels man, and this thread helped me to not feel so alone. So thank you for that. Cheers, mate.
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>>576720245
i live alone, small flat, i dont work, i do go to college(missed the last 4 weeks)
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>>576710505
I have done the science and OP is a liar, it is not physically possible to go 'beyond' super depressed. The human body just can't handle it. According to all the laws of physics OP you should be an Hero by now.
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>>576721082
fucking kek
A+ work, anon
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>>576721082
>I have done the science and OP is a liar, it is not physically possible to go 'beyond' super depressed. The human body just can't handle it. According to all the laws of physics OP you should be an Hero by now.

Here is beyond super depressed in a gif. The only way I can describe it.
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>>576710505
What you need to do is walk up to a woman you would like to put your penis inside, and then just pull it out and flail it wildly at her.

Alternatively you could go to a bar and wildly flail your penis at women

If that doesn't work, find a woman who has had an abortion, then tell dead baby jokes to make her feel better about herself and when the moment's right (after about a dozen jokes) whip out your penis and wildly flail it at her and she'll be sucking it in no time

Lastly! if that doesn't work, just stand on the street corner and wildly flail your penis at oncoming traffic. Someone is sure to stop.

Follow those 4 steps and you'll be drowning in pussy before you know it
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>>576710505
How old are you op?
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>>576722163
>What you need to do is walk up to a woman you would like to put your penis inside, and then just pull it out and flail it wildly at her.


Oh yes, what could go wrong!

I'll just walk up and be like "Hey ladies! Come check out my wacky waving inflatable tube!"

I'll try the traffic thing, but this would take place in Texas. I might get either run over or shot pretty damn fast.
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>>576722506

22 years of age. I still have some growing up to do, I know.
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>>576720049
>Woman are curious, especially the slutty ones. If you give them some tip about what you have to offer, then they will definitely bite it.

Haha. Will keep that in mind. I'm fairly timid at first, but then I open up and can hold my own just fine.
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