ITT: Post you school stories I'll start >Be me, 18

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>>567951517
You're sure you weren't the one with autism

/thread

>>567951650
I'm not the one who thinks it's bad to even have whiskey :I

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>>567952163
OP you fuckin suck.

>Jack Daniels masterrace

Kid fucking deserved it in my opinion.

>You have something that I WANT WAAHHH ILL TELL THE TEACHERS

Little shit.

>>567952510
>Implying Jack Daniels isn't for weeping autists
GET OUTTA MUH THREADS

>>567951517

>Be 12
>Be a little beta faggot, manlet of manlets.
>Be bullied
>This assholes keeps pushing me to the ground whenever he can.
>This sandnigger (lots of them since I'm a eurofag)
>One day running in a corridor because late to class and being late is bad (I was a really huge faggot)
>He trips me.
>Thisisit.gif
>I slowly get up and walks toward him.
>He is not impressed ; he is laughing so hard he has to bend over.
>Wrong move asshole
>Even though he is bending over he is still way bigger than me.
>I jump and punches his face with all my strength
>All my strength is not much, but it is enough to hurt him.
>This faggot is bleeding and runs away crying.

And to this day never again have I been bothered by the sandniggers.

>>567951650
>putting a /thread on you own post.

>>567951517
>>wiskey is illegal at school

duh really?

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>>567952886
kek

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>>567951517
> school
> brown liquor
> level 100 autistic
> level
> autistic

Yeah this totally isn't a troll. Not at all.

> All that bonus life regen
> Dat weakness to fire
> mfw

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>567953305
Why would I lie on 4chan?

>about 16 or 17
>class is doing this thing where we visit this college once a week to get a taste of what it's like
>buying chips and drink at the cafeteria
>reach into my wallet or pocket and realise I don't have any small money to pay with
>I have to pay using a £50 note I got from Christmas
"Sorry, but all I've got is a 50 pound note"
>"50 POUNDS?!"
>fuck don't tell everyone
"I've had it since Christmas"
>"SINCE CHRISTMAS?!"
>jesus, woman
>the look on her fucking face as she spends ages pulling out change for me
>as I leave I hear this
>"I've got a 50 too. A 50 pence!"
My friends thought it was funny.

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>Be me, 15 years old
>At school i'm in a class, with like the most autistic kid in the whole world lets call him Ron
>Ron decided one day that he liked the teachers' boobs so he grabbed them in the middle of the class
>Everyone was staring at him like crazy
>W-what... what are you doing Ron asked the teacher
>Ron replied "It's raping time"
>MFW he is literally raping the teacher
>MFW the principal is on his way to this class room
>He opens the door
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walks the dinosaur

inb4 im a niggercunt

>>567953632
Wtf Are You talking

>>567953632
I liked this place better without you fucking effeminate euro faggots.

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>>567953941
>Saving thumbnails

Are you retarded, that would make an interesting species, a retarted nigger

>>567953941
>>Ron replied "It's raping time"
Why did I laugh?

>>567953962
Basically I didn't have small coin or notes to pay my food with, so I had to use a 50 pound note. "Pound" is the currency, not an indicator of weight in this context.

>>567954007
What do you mean?

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>Be me 16 years old betaboy
>Goes to school only to get bullied by sandniggers
>Calling me names and say I should die
>Thinking about suicide
>Suddenly, thoughts
>Next day
>Sandnigger starts making death threats
>Secretly record it while he’s shouting
>Let teachers hear the recording
>MFW sandnigger turned out to already have a criminal record
>MFW when he got a trial against school for making deaththreats
>MFW he goes to Junior Prison because of me

>>567951517

Okay guys I have another one.

>Be 15
>Some lady comes to class to inform us of the evils of sex inequality at work.
>Surprisingly not a landwhale, but ready to defeat the patriarchy nonetheless.
>Blabbers on about it, "womyn can do any job as well as a chauvinist pig man".
>Says sex discrimination is acceptable with only one job, asks if any of us knows which.
>noidea.jpeg
>"Security guard ! And do you know why ?"
>The whole class erupts in answers here and there.
>"bc girls can't fight !"
>"bc girls can't tackle a nignog on crack !"
>"bc girls blablablah"
>This was obviously not the response she was hoping for.
>Her face goes red and she yells to cover the sound of everybody talking :
>"Because only women can do patdowns to women and only en can do patdowns to men !"
>Teacher facepalms and general awwardness ensues for the rest of the hour.

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>>567954960
Good for you OP

>open bag and find small notes with felt tip pen writing on them
>they say weird things like "More of your conversation would infect my brain"
>eventually remember to tell my teacher
>my friends read them and laugh
>turns out some kid had taken them down from the wall (they had Shakespeare stuff going on)

>>567955267
I think you fucked up m8

>>567955465
How?

>>567955493
It looks like your story starts in the middle of the story

>>567955624
No it doesn't.

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>>567953632

>"SINCE CHRISTMAS?!"

kek

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>>567955074
>can't tackle a nignog on crack

>go to high school
>drunk/stoned/pilled every day
>don't remember much
True story.

>>567955817
oh so its just a terrible story then

>>567956729
No. It just isn't very interesting.

>>567956653

Best story in thread

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>>567952510
>Jack Daniels masterrace

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>>567952510
fuck JD, that is nasty american shit water.
It's all about the Crown Royal

>>567957491
That actually looks fucking delicious

>>567957491
I tried Crown once. It tasted just like Jack to me. Only difference I could note was it was more expensive and I had to get a case opened to buy it. What's so great about it that I'm missing?

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>>567957318
Gtfo pleb

>>567957491
>>567957764

So is it worth buying then?

>>567958418
Imo, Crown is to whiskey as Ciroc is to vodka. Its more about a social statement than anything. There's plenty of shit that's just as good. If you wanna look cool for some kids that don't know shit, go for it.

>>567957937
>Implying Jack Daniels is not pleb tier
>Implying bourbon is whisky
>Implying you have taste

>>567952886
>seems legit.
when I was 12, I could count on one hand how many sandniggers were in my school. And I live near the ghetto.

>>567958780
Thanks for the advice Anon. Will definitely try it sometime.

>>567958896
It's all about Jameson, my friend.

>>567958896
What whiskey do you drink?
>inb4 overpriced shit
>inb4 flavored shit

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>>567956653
currently senior here, (18 since last month), friend was tripping hard yesterday fucked with em the whole day.

>>567954007
butthurt?

I drink Maker's Mark or Blanton's. You poorfags drinking JD probably drink Coors or Budweiser or some shit like that too, huh?

>>567959139
Had 5 classes with the same dude my senior year. Not really in my group of friends, but was chill with a lot of them. He would always stare me down in class and just point upwards. I'd reply by nodding my head and putting my head on the desk. I swear he busted out laughing every time for some reason.

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You all suck.
Laphroaig masterrace.

>>567959275
>affordable=bad
>expensive=good
How autistic are you?

>>567959028
Johnnie Walker

>>567958981
Not bad either.

>>567951517
Lol'd.

7/10 if troll.
10/10 if real.

>>567953305
Bonus Regen, and weakness, that is so true to a troll on dnd, master lele

>>567959574
Never known anyone to drink that. I'll buy it next time I'm out though. I'm trusting you anon.

>>567959934
If you like mixing drinks, get the red label.

>>567960026
I drink everything straight. Who /alcoholic/ here?

>>567960158
Straight is good, if you want to take your time sipping and tasting, I prefer mixing drinks to get as much alcohol in my system as fast as possible, Scandinavian style.
Mix red label with ginger beer and some lime, tasty as fuck.

>>567960158
I am to be honest, i drink 2 beers atleast a day.

>>567960356
I'm not good at sipping. I can drink any standard liquor like water, and usually do. Which doesn't always end well.
>>567960397
>2 beers a day
>alcoholic
Anon, pls.

>>567957491
Try Canadian club you faggot

>>567960591
xDDDDDDDDDDDD lel

>>567960397
>troll

>>567959574
Kinda real
added shit

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>>567960397
>picture related

>>567960591
Just buy everclear and do shots in that case.

I guess you guys drank a lot in school, seeing as this is a thread for school stories... well I guess it would explain alot.

>>567960890
Lol, Everclear isn't standard liquor. 40% vs. 95%. I've already made big mistakes with Everclear. You can't drink that shit straight unless you have a deathwish.

>200+1814
>not realizing redbreast is better than any pleb tier whiskey posted in this thread

It's like you all are in high school or something.

>>567961107
Well if 40% is like water to you when you are sober (everything is like water if you are drunk enough) then everclear shouldn't be a problem for you, do a shot every hour and you should have a nice buzz going.

>>567959505
Good choice anon!

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>>567961167
>Implying there is a single best anything
>Not a pleb

>>567961461
I said I can drink it like water. Not handle it like water. One of the reasons I gave up liquor for about a year.

>>567961645
It is all about alcohol units per time unit, once you learn to manage that shit you can stay on the right side of fucked up indefinitely.

>be 16
>my group has a black guy
>he says he is drug dealer
>No-one believe him.
>Black friend goes home
>munches up tea leaves and put in bag
>everyone is impressed.
>ermgah drugss
>much lolz
>ask little 7th graders if they want to buy drugs.
>one runs straight to office
>Stay low for awhile
>Heat blows off
>More people ask to see the drugs
>Black guy takes out drugs
>Shows friend.
>Teacher sees
>She pissed
>Think she bringing down some kind of school drug ring
>She ask what it is
>Friend makes up stupid lie says they are sugary green sweets.
>wtf.jpg
>Why not just tell truth...
>She does not believe lie
>Was stupidest lie ever
>Sent to principle office
>Black Friend tries to explain
>Does not beleive
>Princple heard there was a black guy selling drugs to year 7
>Ohno
>Principle brings in kid
>Kid identifies him as the drug dealer.
>Principle lectures him about drugs
>Calls his parents
>Parents are out of town
>His Aunt is at home babysitting him
>Friend is Indian
>Friend's Aunt is Indian
>Princple tries to call home.
>Aunt picks up.
>"Hello blah lbag lbag, are you aware that your son brought a bag of weed to school today?"
>Aunt knows little English
>Thick accent.
>Probably said something stupid
>Principle gets mad at Indian Aunt.
>Slams down phone
>Tells tea leaf dealer just to get out of office.
>Friend gets away with dealing tea leaves.

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>>567961645
Pic related is why I gave up liquor for a while. Drank half a handle after 6-7 beers in one night. Blacked out for 8hrs while apparently still conscious. Roommate had to choke me out twice to keep me from wrecking shit. Told me he'd kick me out unless i quit. A lot more damage than the picture shows.

>>567962449
you were tripping the fuck out, mate. good to see your pussy is wrecked from my PENIS

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>be me 13 years old
>there was this autist kid lets call him marc
>he is a real autist (gone through a test he passed)
>one time i was in a presentation in front of the class
>he always calls me something dumb like pudding
>when he says that he laugh with his saliva coming out of his mouth
> i would just let him go tho as a beta fag i am
>but one day i was having a bad day all this shit stuff
>he called me gay(typical boring insult)
> i stopped my report
>walk to him
>punched him in the nose
>bleed,in the ground
> proceed to put my knee on his neck
>he was crying now,face mixed with tears and blood
> he was begging for me to release him
>i did
>since that day the autist was afraid of me.
> i should have done that since from the start\
>mfw he is like treating my like a god at onepoint he even give me his fb account even tho i never did ask for it

>>567961868
I've gotten a lot better at this. When I was younger I thought the only reason to drink was to get fucked up. Then I would keep drinking to keep my buzz despite already being piss ass drunk. Sometimes I still just like to drink though. Moderation requires thought. Drinking is to avoid thinking. At least for me.

>>567962449
>Drank half a handle
How did that seem like even remotely a good idea?

>>567962449
Fucking alcoholics think they're not doing anything wrong but being that drunk just makes you think it's okay being as big of a dick as possible

>>567957491
crown royal may as well be crown rousseq

>>567956729
*fingers snap quietly*

>>567962910
Friend told me we should take shots. I told him it wasn't a good idea cuz I don't handle liquor well after beer. Ended up drinking a full glass because I was already fucked up. Don't remember anything after that.
>>567962925
This is very true. I've tamed myself since then. That night was a whole other level though. I've never been like that before and haven't again. Blacking out for 8hrs and finding out you tried to attack everyone in your apartment buckass naked and did $200+ worth of damage when you wake up kinda opens your eyes. I really woke up thinking I just passed out on the couch. Then walked around my apartment seeing everything fucked up and got pissed wondering who fucked my shit up. Then had everyone blowing up at me for shit I didn't realize I did.

i got another experienced
>be me 12
> playing shit games like mouse blocking
>it was fun that time
>was playing with an 8th grader autist iwas in 7th grade that time
> as im about to win with my team mates
> he picked up a plastic bottle and throw it on my face with no fucking reason
>at first i thought it was an joke accident and it was suppose to hit me in the feet
>i was covering my eyes,im in tears
> my teammate asked him,"Why did you did that?"
>He replied "Just want to "
> wtf.jpg
> Now im mad
> choked him
>everyone in the gym saw it
>He was utering the words "sory anon,sorry ,anon,sorry,anon." with a squeky choked voice
>"dont do it anon " conscience is htting me
> released him and slam him too the ground
but even tho he was like that i sorta kind feel bad for him he doesnt have friends and he plays with sticks he find.

>>567963805
nice grammar

>>567951517

whiskey is illegal at school?

really insightful, you fucking moron.

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>>567951517
>Be me
>Be 13 yearold little shit
>first day of new school
>Moved cause i was a little shit
>Be in french
>Worst most boring subject at time
>Be pretending to put pen in teachers ass when she bends over to help someone behind me
>Dick friend pushes pen into said asshole
>She screams slaps me in the face
>Sends me to the "Punishment room"
>Storm out
>Be gone for 20 minutes
>Come back to french
>Mfw i got lost and had to come back after a bad ass exit
>Mfw everybody laughed and i am comedic genius for next 6 years of school

>>567957491
Eh whatever is 40%
and cheap works

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>>567964323
>Mfw actually hot French teacher gets fired for slapping me in the face

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>be me yr 7, 13 yrs old
>autist with lazy eye pissing me off thinking he's funny in front of his friends
>really bad at insulting, calls me gay and says I like to suck my friends' dicks
>more fit than I am
>one day he tries to get physical so I grab him by the wrist and shoulder, flip him around and push his face into the mud
>walks away like a bitch while his friends laugh at him
>mfw he never spoke to me after that day and avoided me in corridors

ITT: faggots with no clue about good whiskey

>>567964315
My exact thought scrolling through. Don't know why I even stopped. I guess cuz I was drunk and saw something about alcohol.

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>>567962782
Drinking should be to enhance your good time, not BE the good time.

>>567965338
Bitch, you can't even spell whisky.

>>567965526
you can use both, "whisky" and "whiskey"

>>567964323
I had a similar experience.
>Be me
>Be 17
>Doing Chemistry
>Kid behind me ask for help.
>Teacher comes to our row and leans over onto her desk to help.
>Teachers ass in friends face.
>lol.jpg
>Friend think its funny to pretend to put a pen in teachers ask.
>He to pussy to do it 4 realsz
>I help him out.
>Recently have been doing 10 pushups a day
> forgot my own strength.
>Hit friends arm
>80% off pen goes up teachers ass
>4.5 inches deep.
>OhShit.jpg
>friend pulls pen out as fast as he could.
>expect to get in serious trouble
>no reaction.
>Wtf.jpg
>Teacher did not feel a large, fast pointy object go up his ass.
>Come to conclusion teacher takes big hard ones up the ass regularly

>Be me 15 year old, 9th grade
>Had a stupid afro
>Kid that sat behind me in math class makes fun of my hair
>Throws spit and paper balls at my hair
>Weeks go by, running out of patience
>One day as the class hands I grab him by the collar of his shirt
>Push him against a wall
>Little bitch starts screaming for help
>Teacher doesn't give a shit
>Tell him to never do that shit again
>Mfw he starts treating me like a fucking god after that
>Mfw became good friends with him to this day

>>567962748
so u kneed a retard in the face cuz he called u gay?

>>567965462
This is the correct mindset. I try to use it. But I typically have the alcoholic mindset.

>>567962748
You're the autistic fuck in that story

>>567966112
Basically its an insult for kids that time

>>567965959
Ends* damn Im a fucking idiot

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>>567958921
You have clearly never been to germany.
> first day in secondary school in Munich
> I walk in
> 2/3 Sandniggers
> mfw

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>>567967635
I feel you. The place were my college is. 9/10 is a sandnigger.

>TFW your the only white person in the whole college

>>567965879
>10 pushups a day goddamnit Anon why are you still here you belong in /fit/

>>567951517
>whiskey is illegal at school

is it fukn really m8?

>>567968143
>10 pushups a day
everyone could do that mane

>>567965879
>forgot my own strength
>10 pushups a day

Top kek

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>>567968348

>>567964067
Dude, he got a bottle to his face in 7th grade. Totally fucked his brain.

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Okay I got a few good ones.

>Be in grade 1
>that means I was 5 or 6 years old I think?
>End of school day
>See mum driving to the pickup lane
>Big brother and I run to the car
>Some faggot sitting on a bench trips big bro
>thatshitdontfly.jpg
>Do a running doublepunch combo on the faggot
>Knocks him off the bench
>Help big bro up
>Fag says to the after school supervisor "Did you see that"
>Supervisor replies "Hell you deserved it"
>God damm he was a cool guy
>Go home feeling boss
>School organizes meeting with parents
>"Anon hit someone at school yesterday"
>Dad's replies "So let me get this straight. Anon's brother was tripped and anon came to his defence?"
>you bet your ass I got icecream after school
>pic related

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>>567968582
Cool story

10/10 if real
still 10/10 if isn't

>>567968535
You do realize that it was me right? and also english is not my mother tongue. I speak 3 languages its hard you know. Its a plastic bottle its not even hard

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>be me, 10 years old aspergers spectrum
>kid with braces and his faggot crew always messing with me
>Upset because girl he had a crush on hung out with me outside of school
>Come end of year
>field day
wtf why is field day even a thing
>braces kid pees on a slide on the playground and spits on it
>tries to wrestle me down the slide laughing his stupid phlegmy laugh
>go full retard strong
>hit braces in the fucking teeth with right hook
>he cups face and falls down bawling
>one of the brace mounts had actually gone through his bottom lip and was visible
>lip was caught on and he bawled all the way to gym teacher
>gym teacher was a bro and kek'd, called his mom and said he tried to assault me so I decked his ass
>actually ended up sexing the girl he had a crush on like 2 weeks ago after seeing her for the first time in some 15 years
>if time travel is ever invented I will go back to that day and show him video of me plowing the shit out of the 26 year old version of this girl after decking him in the fucking mouth
>mfw are you fucking sorry

>>567969006
I speak 3 languages its hard you know.
So which ones do you speak?

I speak Dutch, English, German and shit-tier French and Japanese

>>567969006
>mother tongue
>tongue

wat

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>>567969393
Ye i also lolled.

>>567968582
Another short one from grade 1

>Have fat kid in my class
>Can't remember if we were friends or not
>I do remember that he was a pussy
>Anyway one day in the playground he decided to demonstrate how 'tough' he was
>Tells me to hit him
>I punch him in the gut
>He smirks
>Damm that blubber has some use after all
>Tells me to hit him again
>Well all right then
>I muster up the full strength of a skinny 5 year old
>and punch him directly in the face
>Fatty falls on the ground crying
>I realize I dun goofed
>Bolted
>The teachers finally find me and tell me to explain what happened
>I was crying "b-but he told me to hit him"
>5 year old logic ladies and gents

>>567969393
Isn't the muscle in your mouth that has taste buds on it. You move it around to help make words.

>>567969393
>>567969806
>Isn't
*It's
I don't even know man.

>>567969272
>>567969638
He is almost as badass as the 10 pushups guy.

On another note, I am impressed and jealous you speak that many languages, I can only speak english, italian and albanian, fluently that is

>>567969272
>German

Don't you mean nazi?

>>567969945
Thanks Anon, i'm planning to learn Spanish. But really dont know when im going to begin with it.

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>>567970449
If that's what you like to call it :D

>>567969945
dutch and german are really similiar.
English is just based, How is this hard?

I got this story that happened in first grade.

>Be me
>Be 6 years old cause parents are retards and want to put me to school on youngest age possible.
>Was sitting with a few people on my round table, while we had the introduction period.
>That day was supposed to be the ay we brought home cooked shit.
>I had brought cookies, alot of cookies.
>Faglord on my right takes a cookie while I was facing away just to fuck with me
>ohnoyouainttakingmycookie.exe
>Punch him in the eye with all my might and strength
>nothardenough.mov
>he was bugger than me, he started chasing me down, only to be caught by teacher.
>i wasnt accused cuz no proof


Another one coming up

>>567951650
/thread

>>567970506
I want to learn swedish very soon, and maybe dutch too, i heard they are quite similar and if you know english, it is quite easy. True or false?

>>567970834
You're right in a certain way but German has some pretty annoying grammar.

>>567971153
Swedish isn't remotely similar to dutch, neither is english, next to that, Dutch is a bad language anyway

>>567971153
Don't try to learn dutch, please. If you can speak english your good in the Netherlands. But as the fellow Anon said Swedish isn't even close to Dutch.

>>567971520
You're*

>Grammar nazi'ing myself

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>be me
>be huge omegalord in 4th grade
>honor student
>best english student in class
>english exam coming up
>10/10 chick needed my help for it
>omgyeshavemybabies.jpeg
>i help her throughout the exam
>leave my paper blank cause mesmerized by her, and fact that she spoke to me fir the first time
>after exam is over she gets up, thanks me with a smile on her face
>hug inbound, systemshutdown.gif
>mid hug, she kisses me on the lips
>mfw i didnt wash my lips for a week
>mfw i thought i was in love

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>>567969784
another one from the first grade

>Be basking in my alpha-ness from my previous exploits
>Cross paths with a fifth grader
>Can't really remember how things escalated but basically he was talking shit
>And you know what happens when you talk shit, right kids?
>So I hit the twat
>It only took a moment for me to realize the difference in our powerlevels
>Fear didn't give me wings but it did temporarily turn me into a Kenyan
>See big bro talking to some friends as I was making my grand escape
> Yell out "AAAAANNNOOONNNN HELP"
>Bro notices me but keeps on walking
>aferallIhavedoneforyou.jpg
>Run to area with plenty of foliage
>activate commando mode
>guy tries to find me
>I manage to avoid him until lunch break ends
>Successfully avoid him until he forgot
>Mfw

>>567971520
>>567971338
Oh alright, thanks Anons.

>be 10
>tallest in school
>fat as hell
>sandnigger joins school
>instantly takes the piss cause i'm fat
>everytime i tried to beat the shit out of him he runs away
>cant catch him
>teachers dont give a shit that he bullies me 24/7
>finally catch up to him
>smash him face so much
>broke his nose + face bleeding
>excluded from school for 3 days
>satisfying as shit
>tell story to dad
>he says i did the right thing and argues with the teacher
>sandnigger never messed with me anymore

>>567952510
Jack Daniels isn't a master race. It's for poor people.

> bully this annoying kid
> the fucker is arrogant and shit
> eventually dont deem him worthy of bullying anymore
> simply ignore him 100%
> year later he commited suicide.
> feels

Just remembered this embarrassing story.
>Be 6
>Be Grade 1
>Be really shy and awkward.
>Teacher gave us chalk to draw on the concrete outside.
>hellyeah.jpg
>Draw some cool looking shit.
>Time to go inside and paint.
> I really need to shit
>I never shit at school.
>Toilets are disgusting
>1000's of dumb little, non potty trained kids who can't aim their shit or piss in a fucking bowl.
>Really need to go.
>Teacher really mean, old scary bitch and really strict.
>Especially about toilet. Only allowed to visit the toilet once during class time.
>Unless you are a girl then you can go whenever you want.
>Sexist bitch.
>About to shit pants.
>Teacher so scary
>I am so shy
>Ass about to explode
>Finally gain enough courage to ask to go to toilet.
>Sprint to toilet.
>Grasping and trying to fist close the poo to keep it in my ass as I run.
>Reach toilet
>Both stalls are locked.
>Am dancing just to prevent myself from shitting myself.
>Hearing fart sounds.
>Making me jealous.
>Wish that was me shitting.
>Finally stall opens.
>It is the weird kid from our grade.
>Tries to high-five me and wants me to see his "creation".
>Get lost, I do not have the time
>about to explode.
>wtf.jpg filthy cunt didn't flush.
>Who gives a fuck, no time to flush
>I would normally wipe and lay paper on the seat but I could feel the log sticking its head out of my asshole.
>Remove pants sit down.
>fucking seat is wet.
>thighs covered in the weird kids piss or whatever the substance was.
>Push!!!!
>I Push the shit out it comes out all at once and as a whole.
>Massive Splash in toilet.
>OHNO!
>Splash back!
>Werid Kids un-flushed feces and piss flashes around my asshole.
>Relived but disgusted.
>clean up and return to class.
still part2

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>>567971920
Nicely done anon.

>i didnt wash my lips for a week

Well i guess thats the right thing to do.

>be me
>go to school full of special ed
>literally, they had their own "block"
>anyway
>for some reason the teachers let them loose on some days
>is scary
>they come in to my art class
>one starts scratching table
>wtfareyoudoing.jpg
>mfw he's scratching old gum off from under the table
>eats it
>fucking eats it
>gags while I try to look away
>later that day
>sitting in science watching some thingy on sex
>lelboobslel says the scary tard man
>hear noise
>whole class turns to spastic
>he's ... He's fapping
>this can't be happening
>don't think I had even seen a dick before this
>first time seeing a dick and it's this
>wow
>mfw my school was fuxking retarded and had heaps of these socially outcasted spedfucks

>Playing around with a mirror at lunch
>Niggers playing basketball on the our side of the courtyard
>Start blinding them with the mirror whenever they try to shoot
>Angry ginger comes over and threatens to fight us if we do it again
>Keep on doing it and laugh at the ginger
>Ginger bitches out and doesn't come over again.

>>567952163
> :|
>mfw you're on /b/ instead of 6 feet under

>>567957491
Alberta Premium is far superior. 100% Rye grain, Crown is too weak. Tastes like water going down.

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>>567970907
>>567971920
>>567971985
>>567972180
>>567972456
>>567972484
>>567972641
>>567972725

All my keks

>>567972641
>>don't think I had even seen a dick before this
I hope it didn't give you trauma and turn you dyke.

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>>567972641
>>first time seeing a dick and it's this

Did you not even see your own penis or are you a grill?

>>567951517
>being 18
>still being at school
>Retards need more school time because they have the downs.

>be 14
>first day of freshman year
>be bored
>take notes
>do work
>repeat about 700 times
>turn 18
>graduate

>>567953632
wut. GTFO eurofag

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Oh shit..now this is the best one i remembered
>be me 7
>in a public school
>teacher doesnt give a fuck about bullying
>been bullied for 3years
>its rather an emotional rather than physical cause most of the times i escape
>one time since school is just a few blocks away i decided to walk.
>Saturday math class
> bullies infront of the door
>i was scared,shaking and crying at home
>never told my parents about the problem
>until dad find it out by him self
>dad threatened the bullies
>bullies dont bully me for a while
thanks dad
> until one day this fucktard hit me in the head
>tried to punch him
>missed,little bitch run
>he fell into a mud
>lol other bullies laugh at him
NOw im in a newschool
> gone through their facebooks
>ask them how their life is
>Bully said his father is kill due to heart attack
mfw i heard it
>
>

>>567957491

high school. made that mistake myself.

fucking kids. then I grew up

>>567973592
sometimes karma is good

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>be 17 year old version of me
>first period morning class
>students walking in one by one
>girl walks in 5/10 looks
>can't remember what she said
>she comes and gives me a hug
>i just stand there like an idiot
>uhhh ok...
Then I got into 2D after I graduated, thoughts?

>>567973494
Why?

>>567960158
Not sure, I drink a 40 pounder a week. Probably considered a dirty rummy by today's pussy standards. Probably pretty regular for a real man, if not a light drinker.

>>567973065
I do have some good stories about the teachers I've had as well.
Our school had this discipline thing where if a year 9 or 10 misbehaved they were sent to a senior class.
First amusing event of this was where the seniors were working with syringes and water and just kept squirting this little fag with water. He started complaining to the teacher with a whiny "Siiiir, they're squirting me with water." And the techer said in reply "Shut up and do your work." The kid was too short to see the teacher pissing himself laughing behind a big textbook.
Other time was this physics teacher who placed a kid, who was having a similar punishment, in the middle of the class and he told everyone to throw stuff at him, and he had to pick it all up at the end of class. So much fun to be had.

Another story

>be me
>be in 7th grade
>was minding my own business drawing and shit
Inbe4 drawing cocks
>lunch break time
>fuckyes.rar
>go on the corridor
>people doing stupid shit as always
>parallel classroom had an autist kid
>he LOVED this 7/10 face 11/10 body, chick
Cant blame him
>he tried to pull her attention, she was a bitch though
>sits in corridor, saliva falling off his mouth and laughing like a cat choking on wool ball
>she kneels down, to talk to him
>her thongs pop up a lil bit
>adrenalide rushing the same way it did when i lost my V card
>run into classroom
>tell all my friends i saw a thong and act as a fucking badass gigolo cyborg supersaiyan pirate all month long
>fapped furiously everyday of that month aswell

Looking back at it, damn if i was an omegafaglord

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>>567973896
would've been 8/10 if used with arrows
so 7/10

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>be me
>in psychology class
>not really paying attention
>prof is talking about the buddy system for some reason
>suddenly says "anon, have you ever used the buddy system?"
>caught me totally unaware, don't know what to say
>"n-no hehehehe" no idea why I just laughed
>"Oh, so you have no friends then?"
>class starts laughing

>>567973896
pretype it man, makes it easier and ore entertaining to read

>>567973784
2D>3D

>>567974224
Well I threw a stapler at the guy.

>>567974380
Well I'm coming up with all the shit that's happened over the years on the fly.

>>567974417
Fuck it, have the 8/10

>be me
>italianfag in an italian school
>errday pizza n mandolino

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>>567971985
Okay let's jump ahead to year 5

>Family has moved to dubai
>Aka sandnigger central
>Aka the city which won the lottery and spends it's money on diamond titty champaign fountains
>anyway back on track
>Once a year is the month of ramadan
>everyone has to fast until night
>including students
>what part children's nutritional balance do you not get?
>whatever, fucking sandnigger traditions
>Now I've been in dubai since about halfway through year 2 (I had already finished the second grade but their curriculum has a different time frame).
>Anyway in year 5 I started getting really sick
>Mum drove me around to several specialists
>most just said I had some sort of virus
>Didn't get any better
>Finally visited the hospital
>Doctor there diagnoses me with diabetes
>It took seven sandnigger doctors to finally figure that out.
>getting back to school related
>Ramadan finally rolls around this year
>Since I have a medical condition I get to eat lunch while everyone else has to go the whole 7 hours without food
>mfw

>>567973896
Good one Anon

>>567972641
>he's..... He's fapping
>this can't be happening

Top kek

>>567972484
>Go to sit down.
>Teacher being bitching at me for taking so long.
>I say sorry.
>wtf
>Feel movement of my bowels.
>Can't hold it.
>wtf I need to shit again.
>Just after shitting.
>Be shy
>Be awkward.
>Have scary bitchy teacher.
>Hour passes.
>Must hold in till break!
>I can't!
>Feel shit leak out of my asshole.
>It has sat in my ass for so long on such a hot day that it is becoming liquified.
>Must go to the toilet before the cute girl next to me finds out.
>To shy
>Kid behind me takes a sniff - "eeeeww something smells."
>Oh fuck.
>Girl next to me takes a sniff.
>loud Ewwww!
>Whole class turns in my direction.
>I panic
>Fuck must not make it obvious.
>Try to fit in so blame goes elsewhere.
>Take a sniff.
>Pretend to smell something awful although I don't as I have grown immunity to my own shit smell after being around it all day.
>say "eeewww".
>All is good, no one suspects a thing.
>Teacher starts sniffing, inhaling the stench of the shit in my undies.
>Student ask what the smell is
>Teacher is unsure of what it is.
>She comes to conclusion that there must be a dead rat in the ceiling.
>Opens door for fresh air.
>I am next to the open door.
>The stench flies out door.
>Teacher ask if smell is better.
>All students agree including me.
>Really need to shit but Need to wait 4 heat to blow off before i ask or everyone will know.
>Half an hour passes.
>I ask
>She actually says yes.
>Yay.jpg
>Go through same bullshit again but this time furiously wipe my undies with toilet paper to get all the shit out.

>>567954134
Thanks for clearing up that pounds mystery. Everyone is 8 here and has never heard of the pound.

>>567959934
dalmore 15 yr
buff said

source:liquor store employee for 3 years

>>567974548
>Have dextro sugar pills for no reason.
>Feed a whole box to my friend
>Forgets what happens that day
>In the middle of class runs around a school building while the teacher is writing something on the board, teacher doesn't notice.
>Next class he constantly steals this guy's schoolbag and turns it inside out with everything inside. Guy gets really pissy.
>Does all sorts of other shit
>Next day mentions he found money he didn't have before in his wallet.

>be in class
>hot math teacher leans to explain something to a friend of mine that is next to me
>she just puts her tits in front of our faces, I got a huge boner
>the teacher forgot her pencil on my table
>she comes back to pick it up
>Accidentally I drop it on my lap
>teacher just grabs my fucking dick in the middle of the class
>nobody notices and I continue with my life

>>567965718
one refers to Scottish and one to Irish iirc

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>>567961167
redbreast is my shit

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>be 15 year old fat autist me
>dont give a fuck about anything aside from halo 3
>find out we're moving back to NYC next week
>go to school in the same outfit ive been wearing for a week
>"hey man its picture day"
>kool
>smile for the camera
>"uhh... what are you doing with your face"
>"what...? just take the picture"

>>567974764
>Go back to class.
>Fucking happens this again.
>Need to shit again.
>Kid ask to go toilet gets yelled at cause he just went.
>scared.jpg
>If I ask it will be my third time.
>Hate being yelled at.
Want to go to bed so To shorten the story I shit myself.
> 5 mins before lunch.
>Massive shit in pants soaking up.
>saved by bell.
>go to the toilet to clean up.
>Go to have lunch.
>kids keep asking why There is brown spot on my pants.
>fark.
>One kids says that I must of sat on a chalk drawing
>see that kids have white chalk on their ass from sitting in chalk drawing.
>tell everyone that I sat on a brown drawing.
>Go sit on the chalk drawing for the remainder of lunch.
>No-one ever suspected a thing.

>>567968007

>tfw thumbnail tfw

>>567974982
>Friend of mine is in latin class on a 3rd story class
>Gets dared to walk out onto the roof next door
>Does so.
>People in class close windows and curtains
>Teacher comes back
>Doesn't hear my friend knocking on the window
>Everybody in the class is laughing, teacher doesn't notice.

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>be sophomore in high school
>chem teacher has an unreasonably huge dick, also easily 300 pounds
>he wears loose pants so it's not totally obvious, but his pants are still bobbing back and forth even after he stops moving
>You can clearly identify each ball whenever he sits down
>Constantly scratching his nuts trying to make it look like he's just pulling up his pants
>one day he comes back from the bathroom, I see that he forgot to do his zipper
>oh god
>walking back and forth lecturing, I know it's going to happen with all that bobbing around
>the snake has been caged long enough
>sure enough, a meaty phallus suddenly escapes from the cave in which it was held to terrorize the children
>he manages to get it back in his pants in time
>walks out of class for a few moments, comes back in like nothing happened
>nicknamed "Big Dick Rick"

>be me
>15 years old at school
>on senior prank day
>ohshit.jpg
>1 PM
>walking through halls
>suddenry.gif
>6 seniors jump in front of me
>and dump buckets
>of crickets
>in front of me
>crickets...
>pokerface.PNG
>stare at laughing seniors
>see crickets huddling in corner
>stare at seniors still laughing
>step on pile of crickets
>stare back at seniors
>still fucking laughing
>wipe cricket shoe on a senior
>go to class

>>567975078
If this is real 10/10

>>567970907
>want to put me to school on youngest age possible.

In the UK you go to school at 4 spoiled retard

>>567975262
100% real, they tried to suspend me but guess who was already gone

>>567952886
you must be really lucky.
typically after that you have even more problems with all this sandniggers brothers and cousins and brosins and what do i know incest they bring.

>>567975410
Who gives a shit, I wasnt tAlking about your sandfag country, I was talking about mine. Go suck a shitskin now

Over the years there have been many cases of shit being thrown into ceiling fans, items include
sandwiches
highlighter pens
regular pens
sharpies
math textbooks
paper planes
Coke cans
Shoes
rugby balls
water balloons
deoderant
sauce packets

>>567975228
>the snake has been caged long enough
>sure enough, a meaty phallus suddenly >escapes from the cave in which it was >held to terrorize the children
>he manages to get it back in his pants >in time
>walks out of class for a few moments, >comes back in like nothing happened
>nicknamed "Big Dick Rick"

Top kek 9/10

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>somehow these fucking pigs got in
>they're numbered, start rounding them up
>we get 4, 1, then 2
>holy shit did 1 put up a fight
>everyone is running around looking for 3
>no one can find 3
>mfw 3 might still be on the loose

>>567969393
Ya g0rven du "tung" esk gerblivven aufenschneinen gel havervadchen ank geverlangigjen, urr "langwidge" gau inglish! :3

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>>567966112
punched in the face
knee sitting on neck
do you into engrish?

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>>567975862

>>567974572
That's what you get for being Italian. No one likes Italians. Make self killz

>>567975862
Needed a crane to get it out

>>567975885
wat

>>567974615
another story from dubai

>Be in year 3
>Class now has to learn both Arabic and French
>Fuck that I ain't learning no sand nig speech
>Wasn't too keen on French either
>I soon get diagnosed with dyslexia
>I get to read books while my classmates do the subjects
>While they are reading a book on how to say hello I'm reading animorphs for the first time and how Tobias is gouging someone's eyes out
>Fuck yeah animorphs

I've got one more cool school story after this one. you guys interested?

>>567951517
>be me, 12 years old, beta as fuck
>built like a brick shithouse, taller than everyone, heavier than everyone
>kid bullies me for like 6 months
>never stood up to him
>one day i had enough
>make joke about how his mum is a trap (really shitty, but good by a 12 year old's standard)
>teacher overhears
>get sent out
>he comes out 5 mins later, starts pushing me around
>push him back
>he tries to get me in a headlock
>his arms barely reach my chin
>we both realise i could fuck him over without breaking a sweat
>he runs off crying

Turns out our parents were actually quite good friends and we've been good friends ever since

>>567951517
good job OP

>>567952886
so fake. sandnigger would've bombed the school. its their code

>>567976435
>mfw at the end of year 12 I was one of the top spellers
>mfw now I write down complex Latin words with ease in medical school

>>567951517
>be 16
>chemistry is boring as fuck
>qt hispanic girl and I decide to sneak off
>big tits, great ass
>hide in an empty corridor, both kneeling down
>she fucking shakes her ass at me
>she's wearing tights with blue thong, so her ass is just the most beautiful sight before me
>hear teachers coming in the distance, they've seen us
>she turns around and looks at me deeply, kind of glancing at my lips
>my brain immediately shuts down
>"w-we should get back"
>she lost interest after that
>regret forever

>>567976435
Yep lurking

>>567973324
Lol, are you stupid or from a different country? In America, a person is 17-18 their senior year in high school.

>>567976435
animorphs were the shit man

I got one from first grade.

>be first grade
>doing basic math sheets
>try to finish quickly so I can take a leak
>ace that shit & ask to go to toilet
>teacher said no
>unbearable bladder pain, decide why the fuck not
>release the valve

Needless to say he was my teacher until grade 4 and never said no again.

>>567951517
>tfw left school at the age of 16 due to anxiety issues and health issues
>tfw 18
>tfw no GED, no job
>only skill is programming and writing
>still live with parents
>no idea what to do

Help please.

>be me 18
>restarting senior year of high school because I'm retardfag
>I got freshman lunch
>sheit
>sit alone, because fuck freshman
>2 goth girls come sit with me
>it was bond to happen because of my long black hair
>one was skinny, but had a weird nose and fucked up pirhanna teeth
>her teeth were the worst I think I've ever seen
>other was chubby, but pretty face
>it was like a game of "would you rather be"
>didn't really talk when they sat with me
>they talked about how they were bi and druggies n shit
>oksurebitch.jpg
>skinny one likes me
>can just see it in her eyes
>her raccoon eyeliner eyes
>then they offer me to come smoke with them
>okay we are friends
>school ends goes to skinny girls house
>start smoking
>skinny school starts sitting on my lap grinding
>"oh well, she did hook me up"
>we start furiously making out
>scared her pirhanna teeth might rip my tounge out

>>567975228

pls laff at my story ;_;

>>567959505

>10 years

Have you no shame?

>>567977363
Please.
Advice.

>be italian
>be 17
>go on school trip, first stop Bologna
>me and my friends arrange with some other kids from school to join forces (i.e. money) to buy some weed
>give our money to these kids, plan is to smoke the weed at the hotel later
>later arrives
>"sorry guys, i gave the money to this bloke we met, he told us to wait for him to go home and get the weed, but we waited for an hour and he didn't show up"
>something_is_rotten_in_the_state_of_denmark.jpg
>go to dinner at the hotel restaurant at Lake Como
>waiter is our age, we start chatting with him and he tells us a friend of him is coming back from Switzerland the day after with a cargo of weed, so we can buy from him
>a day passes
>at dinner, the waiter says he's friend got busted at the border with the weed, says he's sorry, gives us a free joint and directions on where to find weed in Geneve, since we're going there the next day
>go to Geneve
>our teacher gets kicked out of the chocolate factory we were visiting after being heard by the security calling one of the employees, who just happened to be a midget, an "oomph loompa"
>but that's another story
>anyway, we overhear one of the kids from the other groups saying to one of his friends that they still had some of the weed the bought in Bologna
>HOLY SHIT THEY BOUGHT WEED WITH OUR MONEY
>plan revenge
>go to the place the waiter told us and buy weed
>go to pharmacy and buy laxatives
>go to grocery store and buy a bottle of vodka
>later that night at the hotel
>we go knock on their door
>offer deal, they accept
>we sell them half of the weed we bought in Geneva for double the price we payed for it
>they obviously don't know that
>they also obviously don't know that the bottle of vodka that we are trading with them for their bong has been heavily spiked with laxatives
>be the day after
>while everybody else is in Milan having fun, they are in their hotel room squirting their brown smelly guts out of their asses

>be me
>5 years old
>clueless as fuck
>sitting in kindergarten class
>usual autistic kid running around
>biting everyone
>teacher ignorant as fuck
>suddenry.jpeg
>autism hops on desk next to me
>pulls down pants
>battle cries
>actually fucking battlecries
>everyone staring
>watch as autism takes dump on desk
>picks up dump
>battlecries
>throws shit at teacher
>hits teacher in face
>bullseye.mp4
>teacher starts crying and yelling
>rubs shit stained hand on girl
>dontwantnotrouble.BMP
>back the fuck away from autism
>disaster averted
>room going nuts
>fucking kiddie stampede
>principal comes in
>holds down flailing autism
>yells at kids to sit
>bell rings
>flood through doors and gtfo

>>567975239
Oh shit that happened at my school!
What school did you go to?

>>567977585
>>567977363
Suck it up and get a job.

>>567977585
no this is Random. You want >>>>/adv/

>>567977585
>>>/adv/

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>>567977439
kekekekekekekekekekekekekekek
there

>>567977810
Christ te king

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>>567976652

Year 8, back in Australia (after dubai if you couldn't make the connection)

Yes it's true all this time I have been an ausfag

>Moved back to Aus halfway through year 7, skipped half a year because of curriculum once again
>Be super-smart wiz kid
>We're currently studying ancient Japanese history
>I'm in the back of the class re-reading animorphs for the first time in years
>During the lesson a girl pipes up
>"Teacher why does anon get to read in class?"
>Teacher replies "Because he can read while paying attention"
>"Anon what can you tell us about the battle of thingy?"
>Look up disinterestedly from my book and give a detailed explanation on why the shogun we we talking about was able to defeat the opposing force
>Teacher smiles "Thank you anon"
>We both smirk an the girl
>Back to my book
>Holy shit jake has been infected my a yeerk

>Pic related

>>567977901
Yeah.
If I get a job it's probably going to be somewhere flipping burgers making minimum wage. I need a job that I can actually have to atleast make enough money to move into my own place. I don't need a big ass house, just a simple trailer or apartment.

I've briefly considered welding, but I don't know anything about it.

>>567960397
Congrats. In Australia we call that "Older than 12"

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>>567977378
>chubby girl just watches us make out
>"hey bitch whens it my turn"
>we stop, and skinny looks over to chub
>"just a second, he's sweet"
>I swear everything they said was autistic
>skinny gets off lap
>chubs comes over and starts riding my lap like a pony
>she starts kissing me
>we make out for like 10 minutes
>she gets off my lap and starts making out with skinny
>whatkindashit.jpg
>get up off bed and leave, thank em for weed
>they too bust sucking each other's faces
>next day they want to do it again
>how much weed this bitch got?
>continue weed smoking, making out, and eventually sex with 2 freshman girls for all of senior year
>skinny falls in love with me
>I can tell because she doesn't want to share me anymore
>she also starts holding my arm and stuff in the hallway
>come end senior year
>they want to still hangout
>nope to risky
>ditch them
>they call me like 400 times within 3 days
>continue calling for like 3 months
>change phone number

And that's how I used 2 freshman girls to my advantage

>>567952510
Jack Daniels is fucking garbage. And so is Crown. They are both over rated shit.

You want something good that's no expensive go with Maker's Mark. More pricey but go with Jameson Irish Whiskey.

>checkmate

>>567978440
no more prominent cool stories come to mind, plenty of sad or otherwise though.

Might save those for another thread.

Would anyone mind screencapping these?

>be 13yo me
>be in P.E swimming class
>get out of pool to pee
>go sniff all the hot girls' underwear
>smellsgreatman.png
>find creamy ones from nerdy girl
>they smell best
>no one ever found out

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>>567978534
something similar, but I groomed two, one is to be my wife in a year, the other was my bj queen

>>567978427
Oh I didn't go there, must've just been the same prank :/

>>567958950
If you're going to spend that much I'd say get makers mark.

>>567978950
Probably

what is going on

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>>567975239
>tfw seniors at my school failed heavy as their prank soo tried crickets also
>tfw needless to say, nobody knew there was a prank

least I stink bombed an entire floor and had to evacuate the classrooms, got a story but I'm Shit at telling stories

>>567956653
>high school
>drunk stoned pilled every day
damn kiddo my hand is now bleeding cuz of that edge

>>567956802
How about shut the fuck up, you euro poor piece of shit?

Your story was fucking stupid and made no fucking sense. Who starts a story with opening a bag? Explain how you even found this bag or where the fuck you were first you cheeky cunt.

You sure are a great fucking novelist.

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>>567979273
this

>>567958780
Lil fag doesn't know that ciroc is manufactured using grapes.
>only difference is social statement
>newfags galore
Tbh I only drik potin.
>neat
>not even irish

>>567965879
HIS ASS? so its a male? why would he even pretend to put a pen in his ass? i call bullshit

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>be me, pre-k
>outside for recess
>teacher puts out a bucket of soap water to blow bubbles with
>everyone taking little bits of suds, putting it in hair
>I decide to stick my whole fucking head in the bucket
>oh shit
>eyes burning, head to shoulders soaked in lemon soap water
>go and hide in playground tube
>my mother comes, teacher explains what happened
>"your son is hiding in that tube"
>pce nigga
>think I can run home without getting caught
>home is about 2 miles away
>mom caught me before I even made it off playground

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>>567979763
it's French grapes mixed with vodka, not vodka made from grapes
>not realizing he is only talking about the social context of the liquor, not arguing the content of the bottle
I see you
> random garble rant meow dog
I'm soo random

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>be 13
>friend brings 1,5 liters of mixed booze to school
>it was a friday and he was saving it for a party later that day
>talk him into sharing it with me and another guy
>at lesson
>he takes bag with booze into the toilet
>drinks and comes out without bag
>"i have to pee teacher!"
>go to toilet
>drink
>alot
>next guys turn
>continue the circle until the bottle was emty
>get shit wasted
>walking around like retards all fucking day
>teachers tells us to calm down
>nocando.jpg
>go home
>sleep
>mfw nobody suspected a bunch of 13 y/o to get wasted at school and we got away

>>567975239
>wipe cricket shoe on a senior
>go to class

seemslegit/10

>dude bullies me all throughout middle school
>in hs, suck his dick once
>shag a couple times
>he's a sentimental faggot
>break his heart

>>567969272
Dutch and german are basicly the same anyways...

>>567965879
story is bullshit. I PT with Marines and do fucking hundreds of push ups in a day along with pull ups and other shit your ass doesn't do and this "i forgot my own strength after 10 push ups a day and pushed his arm too hard" part of your story is bullshit.

>>567978463
Bro, I work at a chicken factory & make $28/hour (1000+/week)
All you need is a couple good referees. It's really not that hard.

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>>567974782
Yes, yes they probably are.

>pic related