The power to change the xray emissions of black holes
It's not useless at all. With superpower like this, you'll learn how to steal bikes, brag on internet that you fuck white bitches all the time, you'll get welfare, positive discrimination and so... there is dark side of course... you'll look like an ape, your peenus will shrink and so your IQ and you''ll loose ability to speak like a normal person.
The ability to convince others my imaginary friend is real.
>oh wait then I don't have to pay taxes and people give me money out of guilt but don't call me a useless bum, even respect me, guess that's an okay ability
the ability to have the same sensation on my head than my dick
then put peanut butter on head and wait for dog
The ability to change the color of commas in old newpapers
Instant disguise. Steal/assault/murder as a nigger then morph back into white man after the deed is done. Make sure witnesses see your black form. A lot of other uses just waiting to reveal themselves. Not useless in the least, unless you can't turn back.
and here my fellow /b/ros you see 9fagging at its finest
lts all take a moment and appreciate this view
if u ever need lint, I always have some in my bellybutton
Not useless at all! Change the color of teeth to pure white, skin to caramel tan, get bitches, or just fuck with people in front of you in line by changing the color of their currency.
The superpower ability to tell when any woman within 10m is on her period.
The ability to have your taste receptors on anyone's ass hole in a 500m radius
>no more toilet exhibitions for me
I'll tell ya one superpower I'd LIKE to have:
The ability to tell when some asshole on the interstate is about to CUT ME OFF...
Would be extremely useful to get past a <1cm thick fence/wall.
technically since it is off a percent you could get extremely lucky and take multiple shots
besides being 50% bulletproof is ? times better than being 0% bullet proof
well then you can always say you can jump higher than someone...not useless in a contest
and the second one would be useless, because they don't listen to reason...
thats how the sea cucumber do.
I have two:
1. The ability to instantiate cheeseburgers at will.
2. The ability to time travel, but only for the purpose of taking a nice 3 hour nap and waking up at the exact time I fell asleep fully rested.
the more you eat the taller you get and visa versa - it'd take a week to save the kitten in the tree and then near starve yourself for a week to return to regular size, sort of like a really shit ant/ giant man
not the sharpest knife in the kitchen are u?
the ability to teleport smal quantities of water from your mouth into your stomach by swallowing.
well just learn the fucking alphabet of the language and start shitposting on the internet
That would be great. Imagine how much money you could make by working as a voice actor. You could be the voice actor for a character in literally every language they plan on releasing.
>sure thing bud
that could be a nice superpower though... like if they're into this type of shit. Or if you hate them realy bad, than this is the way to freak them out of their fuckin mind. Just image if you were on their spot...just chillin in the house and out of nowhere some fucktarg just starts slamin your daughters head in a cement wall. That would scare the shitballs out of me.
Provided we're doing the oldschool rules of comic books where people would pass out after using their powers: the ability to conjure a coffee table anywhere
If not, the ability to turn invisible while playing a trombone.
>wake up hung over
>there's only stale wine in a bottle from last night
>be thirsty as fuck
>realize I have to go down to the store to get bottled water
I call bullshit on this one, turning anything into water is goat ability
watch the drivers head
if you see him looking at his side/rear mirror, he might be coming over
i pesonally think it looks retarded after someone passes me when i see their head bobbing back and forth looking at my vehicle
the ability to grow the winning lottery ticket inside your dick but you have to cut it open via a series of paper cuts directly to your piss hole retrieve it. Your immune system is terrible which allows the ticket to grow in you and not be rejected by your body but this means you heal fucking terribly aswell.
well shit anon, you fucked my mind up so hard