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Archived threads in /b/ - Random - 5640. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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>stomps foot
My board!
40 posts and 30 images submitted.
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no nigga
>>
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>be me
>house sitting for my neighbor
>he lists the rules
>"eat drink whatever you want just no touching kaziska Ching Chong ding dong anon got it?!"
>whathesaid.gif
>say ok and he leaves town
>walk into each room
>walk into room with sign reading "no entry"
>fuckit.jpg
>go in and see pic related
>guess this is "kaja chimichanga"
>she's such a sexy girl
>never saw a pillow like this
>sosoft.wav
>i unzip Dick
>I fuck kachingadingo
>fucking jizz everywhere

Idk what the fuck to do my neibor will be back and washing the cum off of the pillow and guns won't help. He WILL notice this and kill me. What do I do?!
5 posts and 3 images submitted.
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nigga, you fucked up.
>>
Enjoy sasquatch till he come back fuck her all day long and prepare yourself to die.
>>
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Your story gave me much amusement.

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Sain lukin rintaani jäin hankeen makaamaan... mä elän vieläkin
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Opettele englantia vitun idiootti
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Lucs nest

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Toast Me Outside
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>723592841
looks more like toast me inside
>>
>>723592841

M̵̛̻̹̰̪ͪ̐͊̌̽̋̈ͧ̒̔̌̇͒̄Ẽ͙̼͇͇̦̣̦͚̹̥̗͇̘̽͌͂͑͋̈̎͆͘͟ͅM̷̢͇̣͍̪̯̥̫͕̦͉̩̗̟͚͊̅ͦ͐ͪ͗͒̄ͦͨ̌͑͆́͜E̵̵̻͔͔̖̗̙͖̭̗͙̺͇̹̻͖̦̳͛ͨ̀̄ͪ̽̀̀͜͟ͅS̸̢̛̙̫̹̹ͦ̐̊̈́̾͂̌ͨͮ͌̆̄̏̊ͪ̇ͤ

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an entire solar system without jews
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I don't trust the name
>>
>>723593954
Same here...
>>723593885
The sun is red and the atmospheric conditions of those planets are entirely unknown. D, E and F could have life already though...
>>
>>723593885
I'd move there. Establish my own villiage "Bogdatown"
Best villiage ever, only whites would be allowed. If someone that wasn't white tried to enter they would be killed.

Perfect!

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Trips and the snoot comes off
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>>723593666
Fuck you Satan
>>
Satan go away
>>
Trips and cut your own snoot off. Sick fuck.

Rate me
23 posts and 8 images submitted.
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4/10
>>
Mid2000'sBoyBand/10
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>>723592659
Go back to /lgbt/
5/10 female
2/10 male

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Let's get a jazz thread going /b/
Post your 10/10 albums
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>>723592911
Jazz is vulgar.
>>
>>723592911
Spontaneous Combustion - Cannonball Adderley
>>
>>723592911
Yess. This would absolutely be on there.

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WE WANT FUCKING

>POSTER ID

>BRING BACK THAT SHIT I WANT TO INSLUT AND LAUGH AT SAMEFAGS, AND TRACK THEIR FUCKING ips TO MAMAS BASEMENT FUCKING CANCER JEW .

>STOP MASTURBATING YOURE BECOMING SEDATED

awakening

>never gonna gahhpen

>walk the dinosaur and watch the site DIE is shit
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>>1
>>
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>>723594118
>>
>>723594118
>>723594139
aww delete this cancer i wanted to count to five shit forgot the number

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What do you think about war?
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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War is pretty good.
>>
financed by big banks on both sides, pointless,
its just for gold, oil and drugs
destabilize countries to set up central banks
in the middle-east, to anger the population into becoming radicalized so they commit terrorist attacks so western countries can take away various freedoms
overall just a racket
>>
Large scale looting, at the end of any war someone is going to get the goods.

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> Perfect female bodies don't exi-
93 posts and 39 images submitted.
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>boobs of a ten year old boy
>perfect
pick one
>>
moar OP
>>
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little caprice has the perfect body

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You know what's funny?

I can snap and kill every mother fucker on this board if we met IRL.

Seriously, think about it. I'd have your windpipe crushed and your eyes gouged out before you would even know what's happening.

You guys talk big shit. Watch yourselves
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>723592778
>
i dont think your inteligent enough i would have killed you long before you would have gotten near me
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
I really dont get this mem, and I ve been lurking for over 6 years

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THE BRO ARMY IS MAD OK. IT YOUR FAULT THAT PEWDIEPIE IS DYING OK. HE IS NOT YOUR GUY BECAUSE HE IS NOT RACIST. IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU MAKE HIM "OURGUY" AND MAKE HIM LOOK RACIST. HE WAS JUST JOKING, SO STOP!!!! IT!!!! OR BRO ARMY COME AT YOU AND MAKE YOU LOOK BAD. PEWDIEPIE IS A COOL NICE GUY AND HE NOT RACIST OK. HE NOW LOOSE MAKER STUDIO AND HIS VIDEOS ARE GETTING BANNED FOR COPYRIGHT SEE TWITTER SAYS "Gonna have to reupload yesterday video because 3 seconds of Mortal Combat theme used in the ending was manually claimed." NOW HE HAVE TROUBLE WITH VIDEO COMPANIES BECAUSE NO PROTECTION. IT TIME TO APPOLOGIZE AND CONTACT YOUTUBE AND MAKER STUDIOS TO GET PEWDIEPIE BACK. GO.
31 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>723592787
Bad troll, 0/10
>>
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>>723592787
>Mortal Combat
>Combat
>>
>>723592787
This bait is so bad I feel like I should take it just for pity.

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22 yrs old collegefag here

Last couple of weeks I have been cumming too fucking early 'bating. I mean I get rare pussy from time to time and used to go on for a pretty decent time while jerking off too but lately I am losing it. I could edge for an hour or two. Now when I arrive to the finish I just can't hold it. I mean I stop jerking pretty far from the finish but the sensation just builds up and up and boom. It feels good and all but I don't like this. I have been talking to this girl, will probably hit it but this shit scares me so much.

I never really played with my balls while jerking and lately started that(feelsgood.png) but that was before these premature ejaculations. I could go on for an hour playing with my balls as well so that's shouldn't be the problem.

Please for the love of god someone help me I have to sort this out!!

>pic for attention
21 posts and 12 images submitted.
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- learn to edge
- start giving head
- get some loose pussy

Honestly. Unless you have a thick, short-ish cock, a rare chick will like you going at it more than 5-10 min. Cervix drilling is not a common enjoyment and neither is a pencil dick grate.
>>
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Maybe you should practice on chickens for a while.

The dead ones don't jump around that much at first.
>>
>>723594398
>learn to edge
I thought I knew that until this started

>start giving head
you mean licking right? I do that as well when I get the chance

>get some loose pussy
Hard to find tight ones really. Never liked anal either.

I'm not really looking to go on drilling for an hour or something really. I'm just scared that I will fuck up and come in the first 20 30 slides or try to slow down yet like I said the sensation builds up and blows it all.

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You Boner, You Lose.


Do your worst.
305 posts and 96 images submitted.
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>>723592984
more?

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