Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Shaven, trimmed or full jungle?
Trimmed. Shaven is for fags, pornstars and faggy pornstars. Full jungle is for gorillas and 80s pornstars. When the shaver hits the hairs just right, the balls sing.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon, frogposters and tripfaggots
Do make a new thread until the old one dies. Its the position of admins. Are you new to 4chan?
let me express to you why you deserve to be banned.
Like every other general on 4chan, there are people dying to start the new one. So what you get is a 'race.' To make a new one. Aka what you are doing. This is very common because it generally breaks down into the group of people with an anime image op and the group that doesnt.
Suddenly people start joining sides of the idiots racing and you get 5 threads made at the same time because everyone is racing.
Stop being a cancerous newfag and wait for the autosage
>Like every other general on 4chan, there are people dying to start the new one. So what you get is a 'race.' To make a new one.
I never understood why people give a shit about who makes the general. It was a really big issue with wowg back when I could be assed to play that game.
Is this guy actually right >>16890019
I'm not the op of that thread but that post really hit me.
Like when you know you're not a very good catch yourself and everyone on the internet's first advice is "lower your standards". Are looks or personality more important?
Is it worth going for some trash druggie slut who's super hot and the sex will be amazing even though you hate her. Or is sex with unattractive people still OK if you get along? Because I know I can't have both, I have no friends, no experience, no money, skinnyfat formerly obese.
I could spend a whole NOTHER YEAR working out, lose more weight and lift for big sexy muscles, try to stop hating everything and be a better person. But then instead of a kissless 24 year old I'd be a kissless 25 year old and that alone would turn off plenty of girls I'm sure. If I was a girl it would turn me off.
So I guess which way do I go on this.
I understand it's a problem, I'm not the OP. As you said, people would make something like 5 generals trying to be first. I'm lost why people are so desperate to be the OP for the next general.
How do I get my gf do blow me more? Every time we fuck I always eat her out cause I like it and she really loves it and gets super wet
You think it's cause my cum tastes bad or what? I mean she's sucked me off before after I would cum a few times. The last time she just gave it a couple licks and then wanted to fuck. I'm not sure if she's getting lazy or because it takes a long ass time for me to cum from a blow job sometimes.
I was sitting next to a girl (crowded area limited seating I ask to join her she smiles and says yes), We start hitting it off. About 3 or 4 minutes later another guy shows up I assume hes trying to hit on her as well or its her boyfriend.So halfway through some flirting and small talk he shows up, I get embarrassed and like a weasel I find my nearest option to scurry and vacate the area.
Luckily I see in the corner of my eye an available seat I move over there to finish my chips and water. Now I am walking to the trashcan to dump my garbage, I look up she staring at me like she was into me. Then she waves and smiles at me. I am not sure if I am an idiot for leaving or if that is her boyfriend..
Now i am wondering if I made a fool of myself.
Should I talk to her and see what happens or should I do nothing?
How does someone making a thread turn a thread to cancer? If people are getting mad about someone making a thread it does, but generally someone making a general shouldn't be the big deal you're making it out to be
You are new to 4chan and dont understand how boards operate. See>>16890044
We have general boards. This isnt a new issue. Its a real problem that happens every time some idiots want to start making threads before autosage is hit. Every time. The fact that OP feels the need to make threads so early indicates that most likely, they are trying to beat someone else. Its literally the exact same thing.
I'm not new, I've just never seen someone get THIS mad about this happening. Who cares if someone wants to make a thread before someone else? If you're just a regular participant in the threads, what difference does it make to you if Anon 1 or Anon 2 makes the thread? Are you one of the people who wanted to make this thread, and that's why you're so pissed that OP got in first or something?
Yeah, it only gets worse when you have multiple threads active with idiots making threads before autosage is hit. How many of these threads do you think we are going to have before this one dies.
Thats because youve never seen how fast idiots like OP turn general threads to cancer. It doesnt matter, which is why you wait until autosage is hit and not race each other like idiots.
>How does someone making a thread turn a thread to cancer?
Go to fucking vg. Especially an MMO general. With any luck you'll see some autists fight over who gets to make the next general. They make a shit ton of threads, start up stupid drama, then the janitor says fuck it and deletes any new thread for the next few days until they cool down. That's the last thing I want to happen to this thread.
Seriously, have you been here for less than a year or something?
You still haven't explained how this turns the threads to cancer. From what I can see, people like you complaining are more of an issue than people making threads early. All I'm seeing is you getting unnecessarily mad about something that, by your own admission, doesn't matter and you shouldn't care about.
It has nothing to do with the reputation. What do you think happens when there are 5 threads up and mods start deleting arbitrary ones. It ruins the integrity of the thread. Gotta be sure to pick the right one to post in so that its not deleted. What a fun game that is.
I've never seen multiples of these threads up, except when one is on autosage and another is active. Maybe just after one autosages and two people make a new thread, but one person always just deletes theirs once they realise there's another already up. That's how it's always been in the years I've been on /adv/
and stop being so new. Its a real fucking problem and theres no need for this shit to happen.
I really dont want to see this go down the route of /g/'s dpt. These newfags seem to think mods ignore when people do this.
Ive been here for years and this is the first time people have started making threads before it autosages. And its probably not them deleting them but a janitor because thats how they operate.
I'll 'stop being so new' once you explain your point coherently. All you've done is say "look at this board and that board, look at what's happened there!"
Whether it's the OP or a mod, the problem sorts itself out.
>I've never seen multiples of these threads up
Because they've followed the auto sage rule. Lately people seem to think global rules are more of suggestions.
>I'm not new
You've been here all summer right?
Reposting from the last thread for advice:
Two questions for both genders:
1) What are some good icebreakers to start conversations? I'd usually rely on something I can observe and can make a comment about to start a conversation. Something like a common interest usually works best, although such things aren't always apparent. Stating a conversation with anyone has always been my biggest issue. I can hold a conversation just fine, but I never want to be the one to initiate it because I feel like without a specific reason to do so I'd just be bothering the other person.
2) How can one easily get out of a situation without making things awkward if it becomes apparent that a girl either has a boyfriend already or just isn't interested?
I for one will accept OP's challenge to this race. This thread was made around 305 post of the last one. Ill raise you a couple. See you then.
Taking suggestions for OP images. Preferably anime related.
I use the old "Hi, my name is anon how are you doing?"
If they respond poorly to that i generaly go along with "well i just wanted to introduce myself sorry your such a bitch" then walk away.
That had onky failed 2 times where by failed i mean the gorl has not appologised then contenued the convo.
As for of they have a SO ..
If it goes that way and you like the way the convo is going why not try to befriend that person instead of just cut all contact immediately .... you gain a friend and dont look like a pretentious asshole when that becomes obv. And you walk away ... win win
It seems like that would be the right thing to do but to just walk up and say hi sounds so... forced?
The problem with that as well is where do you go from there? Like I said, if there isn't something that I can relate to or expound upon to continue the discussion in a natural way it just sort of fades and becomes awkward. As for if they have a SO I agree that making friends with them is certainly a viable option but not always easy, especially in a situation where that SO might also be present and not take too kindly to someone trying to pick up their girlfriend. That and its also disheartening to encounter if your goal is more than friends.
Haha, thanks anon that was great. I will be sure to copy this alpha behaviour.
This is more of a question for both genders
Is it possible to find a qt SO through online dating? I've always been kinda scared of the idea, but in this day and age it seems like it might be good to try
Whaddya think guise
Hello! I've posted on here before asking if it would be a deal breaker for guys/gay girls if a chick was missing a breast and was just left with really bad scars on one side (long story)... A lot of people seemed to say that it is not and that personality is more important... like always. I was wondering how you get over a girl's body visually when you have sex or try to be intimate if she looks that way?
Personally, I can't stand to be naked and never feel comfortable because it feels so off and looks disgusting. I can't understand how another person can be over it? (lying to me?)
I want to try casual sex but I don't think the average person would even continue talking to me when I mention it. I have a really high sex drive and will always wonder what sex would feel like if I was more comfortable.
Everyone wants a hot significant other, regardless of their gender. That doesn't mean that you'll get what you want.
Maybe ask her why she hasn't been as into it. I know I find blow jobs really hard on my jaw sometimes.
If you're into her, talk to her.
1. If you see something they are wearing or have that could be good conversation, talk about it.
2. Look at your phone or watch, then you can say "look at the time, I have somewhere to be" etc.
You can. Is it likely? Probably not. You should try to meet people both online and in real life for better chances at getting a qt.
Generally people aren't as hung up on it if you're not hung up on it. Some people have a scar fetish. It's probably not as bad as you're making it out to be.
Being honest here, a missing boob would irk me.
I just try to picture them with another boob if that were the problem (emphasizing try).
Nudity is one of the most subjective things on the planet. One guy could just roam around as free as the clouds, while another feels like Peep from Binding of Isaac when he is naked.
If you're quiet about fucking, go ahead. The thing about casual sex is that "Regular" sex is built up to be the ultimate event of joy and climax in someone's life (So propaganda says). The thing is that it's like gorging on Chicago deep dish pizza. It tastes so damn good, and you ALWAYS want more and more...but at the end of the day, you just realized that you ate the entire pie and no one got a slice. This is why people frown upon it.
Not that I care, mind you. Just use protection.
>I was wondering how you get over a girl's body visually when you have sex or try to be intimate if she looks that way?
I dated a chick who was going through chemo. This meant her hair was either extremely short, or she was bald. She generally preferred to wear a knitted cap, and I just never thought it was that big of an issue regardless of if she was wearing it or not.
It just doesnt phase some people. A huge part of that honestly is because of a close personal connection though, that enables you to see past physical marks. In a casual sex scenario you're probably going to deal with a lot more apprehension to be honest because you just don't have any sort of real attachment with that person, people are more likely to be selfish in that situation.
In response to
1) That's the thing though, there isn't always something readily apparent to comment on (wearing or otherwise) that can function as an icebreaker. How can I initiate a conversation then? I feel like alcohol might be the answer honestly since it removes that barrier of fear and allows you to just do it, but I've never actually tried at a bar or other such place since I don't really go out all that much.
2) Not a bad idea, I'll keep it in mind. Thanks.
Yeah, I'm guessing most people are trying to be nice to me but really are disgusted. That's still more what I'm concerned with, it keeps me from enjoying sex when I am in a relationship. I actually did see 2 guys for something casual but it was terrible and wasn't for me. I'm wondering if I might like it of I feel more comfortable but I'm generally very antisocial. I have people who tell me that it is okay, and then people who tell me I'm gross. :(
You are right, I definitely felt the same say with an ex who was insecure about his body but it was a thing that never bothered me and I actually like their class after some time. But again, I hear about boyfriends saying they love their gfs but wish she had big tits or something. A girl who wants her bf to have a nicer body...etc. They never bring it up but dwell on it... I'd hate for a guy to love me but fixate in private over one thing about my body that they miss from a ex of theirs or something.
I have, it's super invasive and even if I did do it. I feel like an implant would feel even worse than nothing their. Like a rock in my chest, and comparing that feeling to a normal tit on my chest, I imagine would feel so bad. I am even missing muscle which doesn't happen in mastectomy... I'd need to relocate muscle from my fucking back or stomach. I'm an athletic person and don't want shit in my chest that feels like ass inhibiting me. Already bad with nothing there.
>But again, I hear about boyfriends saying they love their gfs but wish she had big tits or something.
I like red heads and brunettes. I'm totally fine dating a chick who's blonde if I like her at the same time. Preferences are just that, preferences. Attraction is a gestalt thing, not just some check list.
You'd be surprised at what people can find endearing. Ultimately short of going under the knife there's not a lot you can do about this, so it's not worth beating yourself up over.
I could definitely see myself dating a girl with only one breast, assuming she was attractive besides that and had a good personality. Someone who's looking for casual sex is much less likely to put up with it because casual sex is much more superficial. But missing a boob, while a bad point, is far from the worst thing a girl could have, especially since I'm assuming you lost it for medical reasons. (For some reason it's much easier to look over abnormalities if it's a result of medical issues.) What matters most is how self conscious of it you are. If it doesn't bother you (or doesn't seem to) it's less likely to bother the guy.
I do have some questions out of curiosity though. When you go out do you have some kind of prosthetic where it used to be? Do you stuff that side of the bra? Do you leave that cup empty? Or do you have custom made eye patch bras?
>For some reason it's much easier to look over abnormalities if it's a result of medical issues.
It's not really that surprising. If it's a medical issue it means its something they had to do, rather than a willful decision. It doesn't make you question their thought process.
A woman can't choose to have breast cancer, so her getting an implant is much more valid than some bimbo for instance.
I don't like feeling and knowing that to someone who's romantic with me thinks I have a "really bad point" is trying to ignore it for the sake of being a decent person. I would have been a really confident person so it bugs me a lot. Not in the way I cry every night and hate myself, but just feeling less than any average girl for this fact. A guy would pick a normal girl over me regardless of if I was smarter, interesting... at least she's not broken. I need therapy or something.
I have the same bra as people who had mastectomies. Can fill either side with a prosthetic that feels like a tit I guess.
We went to see a movie together last Thursday, and yesterday I asked her to come see a movie with me tomorrow.
I dunno if those count as dates though.
I have never really had to deal with this sort of situation before.
>A guy would pick a normal girl over me regardless of if I was smarter, interesting... at least she's not broken. I need therapy or something.
Sounds like it. You're really underestimating what good chemistry can do for a relationship. You sound like a nice enough gal, you just need to get past some of those fears you've built up.
I wouldn't mind at all honestly, because I simply just don't find scars repulsive. Or missing parts.
I've found several amputees who're missing legs or arms incredibly attractive. Not because of what they lack (like some sort of fetish), but because of what they have.
As long as you look after yourself, stay fit and healthy, dress nice, etc people will find you attractive physically. As long as you have a good personality, ambitions, humour, charm, etc people will be interested in dating you.
Maybe not everyone, but plenty of people. Nobody is attractive to everyone anyway.
I think I would have been fine if I had dated a different person as a first boyfriend. He stopped having sex because he couldn't stop watching traps. I wanted to have sex a lot and I liked groping but he'd get angry or refuse me. It was fine I'm the beginning but when he gets depressed, he apparently turns gay.
Well that would definitely be a difficult situation even in a normal situation. All I can really say is there's no shame in talking to a therapist about this, and don't be afraid of putting yourself out there. Don't let one bad ex define your future relations.
I am pretty sure this has been asked thousands of times but still:
Why do girls flirt, lead and give signals when they already have boyfriends? Most of the time after they have had enough they just friendzone you and that's that.
I think the most commonly accepted answer is that most women crave attention.
I see this one girl constantly looking at me when I'm not looking at her, but when I turn my head and see this she turns away. She gives me more attention than most people even when are in big groups and so on. She has a boyfriend of 5 months and I saw a few of their messages, constantly sending hearts saying sweet things, she's got him on her phone's wallpaper and saying how much she loves him etc. I know she's into me though so she flirts and gives signals so what the fuck does she do this for?
Then again another girl who I made out with who has a 7 year old relationship, we literally made out for like 2 minutes and then she said okay stop that is all and that was it. After that she just continues behaving normally like nothing happened.
>stracciatella (italian egg drop soup)
>antipasto platter (olives, prosciutto, cacciatore, bocconcini, sundried tomatoes, soppressata, bread)
>gnocchi with chorizo and side of spinach
Is my dinner boring? It's our second date and I've invited her over.
So there was this chick I met and we hooked up three times. I started liking her but now she's ignoring my texts and doesn't even reply to them sometimes. I thought she wanted a relationship, and I tried asking her out but she blew me off the one time we made plans and then was always too busy every time after. Im really depressed now because I know what's happening and it seems like I'll never find anyone.
>Why do girls flirt, lead and give signals when they already have boyfriends? Most of the time after they have had enough they just friendzone you and that's that.
Given that this is 4chan, this is the by-far most likely answer:
>Probably because they're just being friendly and you're interpreting it as flirting.
Flirting doesn't mean anything. It literally--by definition--means to attract/act as though attracted WITHOUT serious intent.
Some people are flirtatious by nature. There are plenty of men who are this way too (you're talking to one). I'll flirt without thinking, just how I've always been whether i'm interested or not, whether I'm in front of my GF or not. I don't mean anything by it, but it's just my sense of humor and friendly disposition.
And there's also the smaller contingent of:
>>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
Stop being an angry robot.
Different people have different boundaries (I personally don't care who I kiss because kissing means absolutely nothing to me, but I do try draw the line because I know my GF doesn't have the same viewpoint).
I'm guessing what you didn't mention was you being pushy and there being alcohol involved or something. Either way, whatever the case. By your own story, she told you to stop once she realized she was crossing a line.
Doesn't mean she has to hate your guts and avoid you like the plague as some massive temptor, in fact, it more suggests the opposite, it kind of just suggests she didn't give a fuck at all about that kiss, and doesn't at all see you as some seductive danger/risk, just something that happened that one time when you were both drunk.
I'm not saying this applies to you or is always true, but in general it's only the socially inept and the emotionally immature that can't control their emotions and feel forced to take drastic measures at the slightest risk of danger. They're also usually the ones who are massively insecure, jealous about everything, and have problems controlling any emotion because they never train themselves to built up any sort of resistance whatsoever (instead they run).
There was alcohol but not so much, we were both a bit drunk around 2AM, kissing occurred after 3 hours of talking at 5AM. I wasn't pushy, she was holding my hand even though I pulled away like twice, she came and sat on my lap and even then I was like "well okay..", after like 30 minutes of cuddling I thought whatever and went for it. She did her absolute best to seduce me, not the other way around, then after 2 minutes she's like "okay that's all". We kinda became really good friends now but I can't shake the feeling of wanting more.
To add to my point, I was at home and she was in a club and she called me to come, saying she needs me there and whatnot. I go there and she leaves the club for me and we walk to a pub and then home after. I already had feelings for her prior to this but she just destroyed me by doing this.
Yesterday I asked the girl I've been going out and about with for over a year and a half if she'd actually be my girlfriend and none of this middle shit. She didn't say anything when I got around to the point, so I just gave up. I know I made the right choice (the advice from here told me to do just that, along with literally everyone else) but now I can't sleep, barely have any appetite, can barely taste raw sugar, much less regular food and even random people on the street are asking me if something is wrong. How do I cover it up? Is something wrong with me?
>Is something wrong with me?
Yes, you're a weak fucking pussy. I didn't get that destroyed when the love of my life dumped me. (I got pretty fucking bad, but not so bad randos stopped me in the street.)
How in fuck can you take rejection this shittingly hard? I mean how is it physically possible?
I don't know man, this was the one thing I had going for me. And the thing I'd, I don't even feel that bad about it. Sure I feel like a steaming sack of shit, but other than that it's just nothingness.
Are a large majority of women just lying bitches? On two occassions I've had a girl almost tear up in front of me when she was saying we coupdn't date each other anymore, attributing it to studies, stress, its me not you bs, explicitly saying not to blame myself.
Only later do I find out that they saw me as awkward or boring and just decided to lie to my face. How can women be so manipulative with their emotions? How am I going to better myself if I don't know what went wrong?
Some people are lying assholes.
I've been told the same things that they said to you by my first two boyfriends, later fund out that they were seeing someone else.
A part of humans suck. It's easier to say bullshit that to be honest and hurt someone you care about, even if not in a romantic way.
Not that I am aware of.
I tend to prefer extremely honest people, like people who prefer telling me the unpleasant truth instead of telling me nice lies in every step of the relationship. They're a bit of a pain to deal with, but in the end they keep me sane.
But, other than that, it's just luck.
Now hear me out ladies this is something that's occurred around me and basically need input.
There is this chick that I've known for a bit. Cool gal and everything you could basically ask for ( generally speaking)
But anyway.. One day during lecture the subject of prostitutes came about and one thing lead to another and for some reason molestation entered the topic. This chick started to tear up and I was the only one that noticed. I want to talk to her about it because I have a big feeling she was victimized by her father at one point in her life. How can I bring such a thing up into a conversation without the use of technology. I want to bring it up but not fuck shit up basically
You can't. It's her own business and if she decides to share it she will. Make her feel comfortable, make her feel cared for, make sure she knows that you care about her, but do not pressure her into talking about something o personal.
Depends on how she reacts to your texts.
If she never initiates conversation, rarely asks stuff back, replies things like "hahah" "oh really?" "cool" "yeah", is always the one ending conversation/that stops replying, no, you shouldn't text her every day and you should get over her.
If conversation is good, lengthy and funny - yeah, you should.
I totally understand.
The thing is we have a brotherly sisterly type of relationship. I always take time to make sure she's doing alright.. The thing that bothers me is that I know that teary eye. I can read her like a open book. I basically know what it is. It's like it's bugging me but I can tell she has no one that cares about her at intellectual level enough to step in and clear her mind from those thoughts not even her own boyfriend..
If you push her to talk about something when she's not ready, you will just make her grow distant from you. Be a good friend, be sweet and make sure she knows how much you care. That's all you can do. Your concern and affection are nice, but pushing someone to expose themselves more than they're comfortable with it's not a good idea.
My GF was abused by her father as a child. She's been to years of therapy and is over it, but it's still not something she exactly broadcasts because it's still not a great part of her life, it's her business and no one elses, and a lot of people take it the wrong way.
Just look at the board. Right now there's a post from some dude who's talking about how his only option is dumping his GF because he can't handle that she got raped. My GF was worried as fuck when she told me, but she told me because she was ready, and she trusted me.
You don't force anyone's hand because, it's not your business to begin with, and it's her right to choose who she shares personal things with.
Thank you so much.
Yeah it's understandable it's the first time I've encountered this situation in a different type of way. Like she's a classmate and friend to a certain extent. I've had this encounter before but more like in your situation. Thanks for the advice. I'll just have to ride it out even though it's killing us both inside.
Why do you want to bring it up? Is it for you or for her?
If you're close to her she'll talk if she wants to talk, never pry into things like that unless you suspect the person is STILL being abused, and if that's the case get proper authorities involved.
It isn't your place to expect for people who have been hurt to open up to you. Same goes for anyone who has a more obvious scar, lost limb, or any other disability.
If you want to be there for her, be there for her as a close and caring friend who views her as a human, and be understanding that she doesn't have to tell you a damn thing, but you'll be supportive if she asks you for support.
It has to do with more context. We always talk about life and she always brings up things of how she hates her dad. I know her parents got divorced and shit. I have a feeling that everyone in their family knows that something occurred because I can clearly tell it's taboo. So it's like a dark family secret if that makes any sense. She doesn't even know that I'm thinking like this. The only reason I would ask is because she teared up.
But you know I can be totally wrong and she could teared up fornmaybe knowing someone that went through that you know?
Although I just know it's not that.
The biggest reason I want to ask and if I did it would be like "I saw you tear up in class(blahblah) is because for some reason I have no clue why or how but... I can through deductive reasoning tell that everyone turned sort of a blind eye to her.
I'm in a similar situation Anon. I initiate messaging, ask questions, say cute/funny things. Not too often. Sometimes just - couple texts a day. Sometimes more. She is almost never able to get a flowing conversation going. But.. I know she's busy with a lot of work and study. So even though I want her to put in similar effort so my insecurities will go away, I don't really expect her to. We talk on the phone once a week as well and the conversations flow better. We've only been on two dates at this stage but I'm keen on her.
Today, I didn't text all day.. Just to see what would happen. Plus I didn't have anything too interesting to say. At about 10:30pm she sent a message saying Good Night. That's better than nothing and I'm happy that she had me in her thoughts at all :)
So to answer your question, how many times a day should I text? Don't send more than two without letting her reply. And consider what situation she might be in through the day, and what mood she might be in. The fact that she is replying at all is a good sign.
>I'll just have to ride it out even though it's killing us both inside.
My GF is actually the second (possibly 3rd) woman I've cared about who's been through something like this.
The truth is, even if she did tell you, it would change absolutely nothing.
Ultimately, this is all something SHE has to deal with on her own, by her own volition and using her own independent drive and thought, or she will NEVER get over it and build up the mentality and tough skin she needs to not see herself as victimized and as ruled by this event.
That can only come from herself.
You knowing and trying to comfort/coddle her might even actually HURT more than it helps.
So really, there is nothing you could do differently even if you did know.
This is probably going to sound cynical, but right now, I'm sure there's a part of you that feels empathetic for her, but there's also a very large part of you that's obsessing over it and making yourself feel worse and worse and wants to get her to talk about it, just so you can satiate your own desire to get it off your chest and think that you're there doing something for her. (hence you making these posts).
Just continue to be a friend. Don't look at her any differently. That's all you have to do.
Don't turn her in to a victim in your own head and feel like you have to protect her, because that's the exact wrong thing to do.
We come from like pasts I've known multiple women that are a part of this cruel reality.
The thing that upsets me the most is that she has a boyfriend that hearts her like shit and basically subconsciously is like her father. (From the way she had described him) so it's getting to a point where I feel she's with domine that's like her dad but it's just so toxic.
He's childish and probably doesn't know anything deeper about hey than just her skin and sex.
I hate it because she talks to me at a very intellectual level and it seems that age doesn't not get exposed to things of that nature with anyone else but me.
She starts at me and gets lost looking at me kind of like signaling to save her. It's just so intense..
I went through a divorce six months ago and it was particularly messy. I don't think I'll ever stop loving her but I know it's over and we'll need be what we were. So my question is how do I start over? I mean my path to recuperation from the whole ordeal feels like its culminating; however, I understand that I'm not completely back to normal. I know I've got a couple of issues that I've got to sort out. Slight self-esteem problems stemming from the divorce, a couple of financial loose ends snip, locking down a personal transportation (car in shop), and maintaining new healthy relationships with those in my everyday life. So yeah, how do I start something new with someone else? How do I reason with myself that someone else is worth the risk? Quick example:
>I'm a chef at a restaurant
>really cute waitress
> I have a list of cons against dating her (mainly being a vegan. I've realized how difficult it would be for me to maintain and support her lifestyle.)
> we would make a decent couple. Chemistry wise
>I honestly just don't know if the effort would be worth it because I've taken the long haul with someone else
>I feel like even if I gave her solid effort it would end exactly like my marriage.
>this was the one thing I had going for me
You don't have control over how another person feels about you, but you do have control over that. Improve the other aspects of your life and you will feel better.
Yeah, no doubt, its just lonely out here and I don't get paid enough to effectively enjoy the things I would like to do. I want to buy a ps4 and go to the movies or go to the art museum but rent and shit.
>What are ways to invest in yourself when you're poor?
Two years between my first relationship and second, and two years between my last relationship and current. I dated, but never seemed to find anyone worthwhile, until one day I did.
It is for me.
Are you willing someone that doesn't follow the same religion as you/an atheist?
what if you ever have kids, would you required them to follow you same faith?
Are you one of those people that hate homosexuals (among other things) just because it goes against "god"?
This is the kind of things go through my head when I consider dating someone religious. (mostly catholic where I live, some times the occasional christian),
True story. I once went on a date with a girl (one of my best dates ever actually) where the next morning when I texted her asking if she'd like to go out again, she said, "I'm sorry. I fall in love too easily, and so I can't date you, because I can't marry you, because you're not my religion".
I face palmed pretty hard.
Anyway, personally, I don't really care what anyone else believes, as long as their beliefs don't interfere with the way I want to live my life. Equal respect. You do your thing and I'll do mine.
But if you're not willing to compromise, at all, red flag, because that's what a relationship is about. Two lives trying to meet in the middle and share some space.
Your in the same boat as most of us. Just remember that nothing changes on its own until you take action don't wait for shit to just appear in your lap.
Now for your question.
How old are you.
What's your free time looking like?
I personally find organized religion repulsive; that being said, not really so long as you (notreallyyou) and I can respect each others view. We sit down drinking coffee and I say, " JESUS FUCK! This is good coffee." And you retort with "don't take the lords name in vain" or you have a look of disgust on your face; then, yeah we're going to have problems because you're essentially restricting my freedom of speech to talk to my coffee however I want.
Girls I want to ask someone out
But I don't actually like her, I just want to see Zootopia with her because she likes that kind of thing like I do and because she had a recent breakdown in school because of stress, and I want to cheer her up.
Proceed or would it get awkward?
>Are you willing someone that doesn't follow the same religion as you/an atheist?
Willing to what? Date? Of course. I have no intention to, nor see reason to convert someone who has no interest in my religion.
>what if you ever have kids, would you required them to follow you same faith?
If my children show an interest, I won't hide anything. But, faith is a choice, a personal one. I don't believe anyone can be threatened or bullied into believing anything.
>Are you one of those people that hate homosexuals (among other things) just because it goes against "god"?
While I do not necessarily condone blatant homosexual displays in public (read; gay parade), I do not care what others do in the privacy of their own homes. Decency is my only concern when it comes to such matters.
>This is the kind of things go through my head when I consider dating someone religious.
I understand. You're not the only one who seem to have a bad relationship with faith.
I'm sorry for your experience. She sounds fairly immature.
When I say I do not compromise on my faith, what I mean to say, is that I will not throw aside my faith for anyone, or any reason. With that said, I do not expect others to conform to my beliefs or faith, unless they express desire to do so. I do not expect someone to marry me before we can have sexual intercourse, as I consider God and Church separate entities.
I agree. And I'm a christian. Well, I don't really kniw if J can be called a christian because even though I believe in God and believe in Jesus as my lord and saviour, I don't really think the bible is the actual word of God.
And I also think that evolution makes perfect sense.
Because it was just a completely random lunch date, and I don't think either of us was expecting out of it besides a 30-45 min lunch. Ended up we really clicked and ended up being together for 8+ hours.
I get it, I went on a whim too.
The part that really threw me was her telling me she'd fall in love with me too easily, so that meant it was probably be a bad idea to see me again though. That and the marriage thing... I was like... Yo... Hold your horses there... it was 1 date.
The kicker was she was Orthodox Roman Catholic--which means there's basically no one in her religion.
Is it mandatory to feel shame about anything at all?
Like depression, disability, OCD, dyslexia, cancer, heart disease and anything else that you can't help with but to live with it until you become a corpse.
Guys (and girls, eventually)
Would you stay friends with your ex if you two broke up just because of distance?
My boyfriend is moving overseas soon. I am pretty much sure that things aren't going to work, but since I am literally all he has (no family, no other close friend) I'm wondering if it'd be possible to stay friends after the break up. I am concerned about his mental health, if he loses the only person he is able to talk to.
We have pretty much no issue right now, and I really care about him.
I do not necessarily adhere the doctrines of the Catholic Church. While my relationship with the church is fine, and while I do confess and attend mass now and then, I do not believe any clergy has the definitive word of God. We are all human, after all. Regardless of how infallible His Holiness believes himself to be.
If you don't care for religion, I won't try and force a belief on you.
I'm sorry. I can understand how organized religion can seem and be awful at times. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and all that.
It is very important to me that the person I date can respect my views and beliefs, as I believe in doing the same for them. And no, I won't look mad at you for swearing, or tell you what to, and not to say. You're an adult.
I don't believe anyone should be ashamed of that which they have no control over. If you've directly caused your faults, then there is reason for regret and guilt. Otherwise, you can't be expected to be held accountable.
>Would you stay friends with your ex if you two broke up just because of distance?
Depends entirely on if it was mutually decided (vs one person suggests and the other person agrees because they've got no choice), how close you were, and if both people have healthy lives otherwise (because being a persons ONLY point of contact and liferaft is unfair to you both. Both to the person who's supporting becuase of how much of a time commitment that can be, and to the person who's being supported because of how much harder it makes it to move on and find new people.
It sounds like the last will be a factor in your case.
I'll put it to you this way.
The fastest way for someone to learn a new language is if you drop them in a country where they are FORCED to use it and learn it. But if all they do is spend all their time talking to people from back home, and never immerse themselves in the culture, they're not going to learn jack shit.
Just my 2c though.
I'm fairly sure he'd go back to one night stands if we broke up, I'm his first girlfriend after a life of causal sex, so I doubt it would be an issue. If he found another girlfriend or someone he could trust half as much as he trusts me, I wouldn't mind letting him go. It's more a concern about his well being.
There's a lot of implications in that question, and I guess I'm not sure what you really want.
Because if you were only willing to date within your faith then you wouldn't even be asking here, because in that case being seriously religious would be attractive to those kinds of guys.
So you're "not willing to compromise" yet interested in men who aren't necessarily following the same beliefs as you.
It would be kind of cool to have a super old fashioned girl for a bit. If she was sweet and submissive and would cook for me and we could go to family events. Not fuck and just kiss and cuddle and I'd fetishize her virginity. But ultimately I know it would go nowhere and get bored and then you'd be rightfully complaining about men using you and wasting your time.
I guess if it's actually important to you stick to church guys or whatever.
So let's say if a person accidenticallylizingly caused a mass genocide that resulted in lots of agonizing screaming that transcends fire, and doesn't feel any negativity nor any positivity from it, is the person completely emotionless?
Was on a first date with this girl. We talked for lkike 2 hours, drank coffee,walked through the park and had fun. But i couldnt get any sexual tension going, it was more like a friendly atmossphere, but she seemed to enjoy it, because she even stayed with me a little bit longer and delayed a meeting with her friend. So at the moment, it feels like we are moving far more towards friends then a sexual relationship. How can i counteract this?
>if a person accidenticallylizingly caused a mass genocide
Too stupid on too many levels to respond to.
>So at the moment, it feels like we are moving far more towards friends then a sexual relationship. How can i counteract this?
If you've got no chemistry, you've got no chemistry. It's biological to a point, and there's nothing much you can do about that.
Just see where things go.
I think you should feel ashamed if you don't do anything to solve or deal with your issues.
I don't want to be or be around a whiny kid that complains about what is not working in their life all day.
Being ashamed of something that happened to you, no, there's no point in that. It's all about how you react.
For example, if you're depressed but you go to therapy and actively try to better you life, I do have complete respect for you. If you're depressed and just whine to me about how bad you feel without doing nothing, I will get bored of you easily.
Please see earlier answers on why I won't compromise. It has nothing to do with church doctrine or virginity.
You sound lost. But, no. I don't believe you are completely emotionless. Humans are emotional creatures, we cannot exist without emotion in some form. Even serial killers derive fulfillment from senseless slaughter, not even they are freed from it.
Perhaps, you haven't found your happiness yet.
And you realize genocide--by definition-- specifically means ON PURPOSE right?
The baits are too stupid.
I find her attractive and kinda want to sleep with her, but im too dumb or/and too shy to telegraph this correctly i feel like. What are some basic things i could do to change that?
I really cant read her, she could be very shy around me, she could be not interested in me, she could be so many things and a combination of all things...
Thanks for your post.
If we broke up I think it'd surely be mutually decided.
He doesn't have any problems when it comes to making friends or dating, he's not good when it comes to sharing emotions.
He had a pretty troubled past, that still haunts him; he is working on it and I'm helping him, but he never shared it with anyone else and I'm afraid that if he doesn't share his thoughts about it he won't be able to make progress. He used to have really destructive habits before we met, I'm scared he falls back to them.
I don't want him to be dependent on me either, but I feel responsible for him in a way, beside being his girlfriend.
I am a switch, but I prefer being dominant.
I don't really like the idea, same way I wouldn't like calling someone daddy. It just feels like some relationships shouldn't be sexual to me, including the one with your parents.
I don't care if you are, but don't expect me to start going to church with you. I've done that song and dance before, but not since college. Tend to avoid religious people these days.
Just go with the flow.
Maybe you want to bang her because you think she's looks hot, but that's a different thing.
Honestly, all of my experience in dating just tells me if you're not feeling chemistry, that's usually because it's just not there.
You can't manufacture it, and if all you're after is a quick lay, there are no quick tricks to pick up game or whatever the fuck. That's a particular type of charisma that you need to build up.
Out of the blue? Weirded out.
I find the idea sexy, but he should talk to me first or suggest it's a fantasy of him or whatever.
If someone put something inside of him without asking me, I'd be a bit pissed off.
Femanons; would you ever say "I love you" to a guy, even in jest, that you are just friends with?
Story is crap but basically I did something for this girl I like and she's like "Oh, anon, I actually love you." I've been trying to work out if this girl is into me or not for a while now, and I'm not sure if this is a hint or wishful thinking.
Either way, I've been planning on asking her to lunch with me for a while, so I'll probably message her today and see what she's doing next week.
> would you ever say "I love you" to a guy, even in jest, that you are just friends with?
Guys do this too dude... I tell my female friends I love them, and they tell me they love me too. Thing is I love my GF and my friends (male or female) in a very different way.
And given that you did something for her and her response was "I love you", that's the contextual equivalent of "thank you".
Anyway, just ask her out.
Guys, is this commitment issues? I cant ever keep interest in someone longer than a month or so. I'll meet and get to know new people and my affections change to them but it always sort of fades before anything past being friends happens. I'll notice things about them that i'll get unsure of wanting to pursue(anger issues, being inflexible and bossy) but I dont know if thats an excuse or if I've got a good eye for that thing. I mean I'm not perfect but I dont get so angry that people avoid me and that one guy was so bossy people were commenting on it
There's this girl that I like and when her friends show up she stops acknowledging me. I think it's because they give her shit because she's spending time with me. One time I heard her mention me by accident when she was with them and she did this pause like "oh shit I shouldn't have said his name." When we're alone she talks just normal and looks me in the eyes and shit, but when her friends are around she does everything she can to keep herself from looking into my direction. I don't get it. The fucked up thing is I've started to do that too, because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. So we're basically avoiding each other unless there's nobody around.
So I've been lurking for a week weeks and have seen someone other people ask questions similar to what I'm wondering (when is the "right" time to tell someone you're dating about your mental health issues) but I have a slightly different/most specific situation I'd like to get some feedback on.
So the guy I have feelings for finally asked me out today. We set a date and everything. Yay, right? Well there's a problem. Up like about 6 months ago, I spent the last 5 years essentially NEET'ing due to my depression. I still live at home, but at least now I'm back in college part time while working a part time job. I get out of the house now to see friends once or twice a month, so things are better than they were. While I have no problem withholding specific information from him until we get closer (since I obviously won't be telling him about the times I attempted suicide on a first date), the thing that is bothering me is that I'm not really sure how to explain the last five years without actually bringing up my depression. I don't want to outright lie to him and be like "Yeah, I was just chillin for YEARS" when clearly there was something wrong. He already knows I took time off but hasn't asked why. I figured he just thinks I was bumming for lack of direction, which up til now I believed was fine for him to think. But now that this has the potential to go somewhere, I'd like to for him to get to know me. But if he straight up asks me about what I was doing during that time, or why I was doing nothing, I don't really know what to say. I'm definitely not fully better now, since there are still circumstances that affect me today (having to take care of a sick parent, dealing with emotional abuse from the other, having to financially support a sick uncle) and those things contribute to my still-current depression. I'm just beginning to handle things a bit better and make myself more of a priority, which is why I'm going back to school and got a job.
Do you think I am being too critical/negative? They do have good qualities. Maybe i'm psyching myself out. I think I'll just keep getting to know people better, its only recently that i came out of my shell
It probably won't come up, but you don't have to lie,and you don't have to read him in to the details either. You could just say that to be honest you've had a really rough last few years, partially busy with family issues, and partially lost on your own, but you're finally stating get to the path you want.
Don't over think it.
>Don't overthink it.
Okay. That's true. I think I just need to calm down because I'm terrified I'm going to say something bad and scare him away. I know that he might not be right for me anyway and all that, but I really want to give this a shot because he's a really great guy and I hate that I met him when I'm still in the early stages of getting my shit together. I wish we could have meet a couple years in the future instead of now, but wishing won't help anything and I just don't want to blow my chance.
Yes, this, absolutely this. It is not going to just come up as "Agenda Item #1 for today's meeting". May I suggest that you try to have a date that is activity-based (bowling followed by a burger, or perhaps a movie followed by fish and chips - you know the sort of thing). Give yourselves something to talk about that is light-hearted and on mutual / neutral territory. It is a well-earned (certainly in your case) evening away from all your troubles and worries. So focus on enjoying yourself.
Ultimately, you have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of or embarrassed about - and there are many extraordinarily noble aspects of what you are contending with, that would deservedly earn respect if you mentioned them. Once again though, it is worth repeating - as anon suggested - "it probably won't come up [but if it does] you don't have to lie and you don't have to read him in to the details either."
It's nice to have a little mysteriousness about you anyway :-)
>I hate that I met him when I'm still in the early stages of getting my shit together. I wish we could have meet a couple years in the future instead of now,
No guarantee you'd even like each other if you did as you'd both be very different people.
My GF's expressed that she'd wished we met each other earlier in our lives, but desu, I was a completely different person back then, and so was she, and I'm not sure we would have clicked or been attracted to each other back then. Things happen when they happen, IF they happen.
>I just don't want to blow my chance.
>he might not be right for me anyway
My fiance broke up with me over text and has kept a majority of my things to boot she gets jealous whenever girls talk to me how could I get back with ex or just talk to her? She's kinda bi polar but a I really love her.
I understand your point. I don't know what it is about this guy, but something about him really clicked with me when we met and got to know each other. I usually don't feel so overwhelmed when it comes to relationship things. It's so bizarre. And I haven't met many people I'd consider seriously dating now that I'm older. He just seems really rare.....but I need to focus on myself at this point in my life. Fuck now I'm thinking, should I even be in a relationship right now? What even are the benefits of being in a relationship?
I have edgelordy views about a lot of stuff that I don't see changing any time soon because I honestly believe in them. basically very right wing in a very liberal city and country.
is it possible to find women that don't care and/or are okay with it? or am I doomed
are you a sperglord autist about your views? if you feel the need to throw public tantrums then you're probably going to die alone or need to find a girl as desperate as you.
otherwise so long as your views aren't radically right and "bitches should stay in the kitchen" type thing you should be fine. you could just make an agreement with your partner to try and not talk politics.
wanting to spend time with you, and making an effort to do so
College was about studying for me but near the end I got interested in a guy and made him study for an exam with me basically.
Depends. My boyfriend is definitely more right wing and more liberal then me. We have very relaxed discussions about it and we're not hot headed in the slightest. He isn't an autist about his view.
He obviously never tried any "back in the kitchen" thing.and he's very respectful of me and my views.
Invite him to hang out in my dorm or apartment, straight up ask him to go hang out in the city, ask for his number under the guise of "study partners", really obvious shit in general. If she's not talking to you, anon, she's not interested.
My GF is talking about joining the military or police force.
I dont want her spending so many weeks in boot camp/police academy because it seems most of the women that live in those places get fucked by half the recruits.
Should I just break up with her when she joins either one or tell her why I dont want her going
uh... I do believe in the nuclear household headed by the father with a SAHM. so you're saying this is considered a deal breaker to women. fuck me
canada. a country that elected a guy because he wants to legalize weed and bring as many muslim refugees as is physically possible.
She isn't going to sleep with anyone at the police academy. Chances are she'll just drive straight home and fall asleep. Most police academies don't even have places to sleep, they're like community colleges with crazy hours and PT class.
Military will basically end your relationship. No such thing as healthy relationships in the military.
Here's my advice. Try these talking points on her:
>Cop salaries are pretty good!
>Cops get good benefits and a pension!
>Being a cop's a good job, mate. Challenging work, out of doors, I guarantee you won't go hungry because as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead
>Cops get to go home every day to their own house, live where they want, and find a new job if their current department sucks.
Do you find it cute when a guy approaches you slightly nervously. I can't do that because I have a very BOLD personality. I'm a go-getter. I would approach more flashy rather than cautously. Would that make a girl nervous or intimidated?
This girl is bringing me down so badly, and I don't know whether to put up with it or not.
She never initiates texts, and stopped responding to almost anything non-essential I send her. She just leaves me hanging. Reads, ignores, logs in multiple times after. She's busy with a higher workload than average, though we do see each other daily. She does seek me out in person and she keeps promising to send me some documents over text. But it never comes.
I want to wait it out until she's less busy (deadline's up soon), but she's been like this for weeks now. When I want to meet up even just to work together, sort shit out and just see her, she's too busy. But then she comes in with this orbiter friend of hers, higher than fucking Mount Everest. She claims she got work done, but I'm not buying it.
What do I do? What do I tell her, if anything?
Guys, as an attractive girl, should i really be telling guy friends upfront that I'm just looking for a platonic friendship? I mean it still turns out the same every time. They say ok thanks for being upfront but then they wanna date me after we hang out more. I shut them down before they ask but...most of my major is guys. This is stupid. I only tell them this if I'm getting the feeling that theyre interested, which I'm right as they always admit that yeah they thought i was cute.
Would my boyfriend think I'm insecure if I asked him if he thinks I'm dumb?
He often starts explaining stuff, or sometimes interrupts me to explain.. as if I was not able to see the opposite side.
I often act childish on impulse (snuggling him, stopping him with hugs from behind, poking him with my fingers) and I easily get embarrassed when he makes me tell him sexual fantasies and whatnot...
I'm afraid that asking him would make him focus on these childish behaviours that make me look stupid even more...
She maybe has a legitimate excuse for her behavior, but it sounds like you and she have different expectations for your relationship and you're not likely to overcome this.
Cut ties and keep trying until you find someone who better fits with you
Is the best way to go in for a kiss to just do it? How I do I tell if that's what she wants? Yes I am dumb and inexperienced.
Am I the bad guy if I call a girl out for never hitting me up or responding to my texts?
We've been close friends for half a year and we still see each other regularly, but she ignores anything I send her. We went from daily hours-long text conversations to zero contact at all. And the weird thing is she keeps telling me she'll get in touch. She logs in multiple times, and she doesn't. Showing initiative myself and hitting her up just gets my text read and ignored.
>Would my boyfriend think I'm insecure if I asked him if he thinks I'm dumb?
No i don't think so. If my GF asked me "Do you think i'm dumb?" I would just take it as a genuine question, I wouldn't read anything else into it. Of course, your BF isn't me, so what do i know.
Nah. You don't really have to. Like you said, it just doesn't work on some guys, and honestly, as shit as this is, some guys even take it as a challenge.
Not much you can do because, while they are definitely possible, opposite sex relationships are pretty rare, because quite frankly, not everyone's got the self-control and maturity/equanimity to be in one.
Still, it's good to cover your bases just so you can point back and say you said something. So whatever, up to you. Sucks but it is what it is.
>as an attractive girl, should i really be telling guy friends upfront that I'm just looking for a platonic friendship?
Yes you should. I think you should be really upfront about not looking for a (sexual) relationship. A guy ALWAYS wants a sexual relationship. With every woman he meets. When a guy sees a young, attractive woman he instantly undresses her inside his mind. It's the nature of men. I think that you should be really straight forward with your guy friends that you are not interested in them in that way, you really have to leave no doubts. That's my opinion (i'm a male).
Go for it because it's what you want, it's an expression of how you feel towards her. If she spurns your first attempt, she might just need more time to get to that point, and you should wait for her to initiate.
>guy ALWAYS wants a sexual relationship. With every woman he meets. When a guy sees a young, attractive woman he instantly undresses her inside his mind. It's the nature of men.
Bullshit. speak for yourself. As this dude >>16892680 i've got plenty of female friends, some that are decently attractive, some that I've even slept with, and even while single I'm not ruled by my urges.
You're spreading a stereotype and making it out as if it's true of every man.
Thanks dude. Yeah youre right about having something to point back to like 'I already told you i'm not interested'. I've def been on the other end before but I just went off for a bit and talked to other guys and now I'm still cool with that dude I liked before. So it is possible but finding mature people is difficult
an inexperienced person should never ever do tongue
my ex had little experience but always wanted to french kiss. I ended up never wanting to kiss him because he was so bad at it. I think making out with a slobbering dog would have been more pleasant.
I think I mostly just feel awkward because I am inexperienced and I just know I'll be bad at it, but you've got a good point in that I should because it expresses how I feel.
I think >>16892704 and >>16892727 did a decent job of explaining how to actually kiss.
Any ways to pep myself up to actually do it?
It's a deal breaker to most women. I'm a mostly right wing woman, but even I don't think a stable nuclear family is possible. I see it as an ideal that isn't really achievable with the world right now. There are a few women who'd be fine with it, but you'd have to somehow avoid shitty people.
Sure. I'm an relatively conservative person who's dated a number of liberal women, and I've even found women who are also somewhat similar over the years. Sure it's a deal breaker for some of the more insane ones, but I don't really want them in my life anyways.
Probably, if just because you apparently haven't someone that actually does interest you. This changes my opinion from you just being discerning, to looking for an excuse to shut things down.
Probably would be a deal breaker if you're particularly religious, if just because I'm atheist. I'm indifferent about religion for the most part, but we'd probably have some fundamentally different views on how to raise children for instance.
I always found the topic amusing though, because some girls I used to know constantly tried to convert me to Catholicism.
It depends on many things. Mostly how your faith will affect my life. Does it mean you will be gone Sunday mornings for service? Fine. Does that mean I will hear your religious perspective on everything I do? No thanks.
As a non-religious person, I'd prefer if she weren't religious herself, but it depends. If she's "lowkey" about it and especially if she's fine with me not being religious, I don't think I'd see any problem with it.
I am not against strippers or whores.
But I doubt that a sane guy would pay for sex if he could get it for free. So there must be something wrong with him. So I'd rather avoid him.
Personally i think it's kind of a big deal (male here). If she can't make a compromise, that means she refuses to change her point of view, and that's what i would consider "fanaticism", and probably not the kind of person i wanna be in a relationship with.
I could get it for free or I could pay for it and get it when I want it from the type of girl that I want and who's probably better at it than any slags I'd pick up at the bar.
Don't worry, I wouldn't want a basic bitch like you either.
If you can't get the type of girl you want without paying for it, I'm sorry but there is something wrong with you.
Anyway, we're good, I'll never want to fuck someone who fucks strippers and prostitutes, you'll never want to fuck me. I bet we both think we're not missing out.
The appeal is more that you don't have to deal with the social dances you would go through to get it for "free".
You can just give her some money and sleep with her, rather than pretending to give a shit about her cats.
I'd rather go for neither, but the reasoning isnt all that complicated.
Congratulations. You could fuck a whore. You could have a girlfriend that was a better quality whore than one selling it but I guess you wouldn't know since you don't seem too fussy on quality
Oh yeah let me just go down to my local pub and pick up that 9/10 banging hot big tited blonde goddess. Any dude, no matter how normal, could pick up her or else "there's something wrong with them".
Shut the fuck up you dumb cunt. Go complain about Chad over your Starbucks white mocha.
>does it make you uncomfortable if I'm flirty or touchy towards you?
I want to clear this up with an autistic girl, but the way it's phrased now feels hella awkward.
How should I ask her? How do I find out?
If she's not answering, chances are she's not interested enough to in contact. Kinda depends though. I'm kinda seeing a girl now who's awful at answering her texts, but that's just how she is. In your case since she used to stay in pretty close contact, I'd say she's just not into it anymore, and while you wouldn't be "the bad guy", it might be kinda cringy depending on how you go about it. Sorry broski.
You'll just look desperate dude. She's either busy and got more interesting/pressing things to do than talk to you, or she's trying to slowly wean you away. Either way you're back-burnered. No need to make drama and make yourself look like a whiny b.
I wouldn't even have sex with someone who had fucked around.
I do understand the reasoning, I just find casual sex pathetic itself, and the idea of having to pay for it makes it even more sad.
If you want to fuck that kind of girl, be attractive enough to deserve their attention. Paying for them makes you pretty pathetic to me.
You come here asking a question, but I can't reply and I have to shut the fuck up? Damn man, can't really see why girls don't want to suck your cock for free.
Or I could just pay one and not have to do the mountain of work to maybe have a chance at someone like her. You're so dumb that I really hope you're good looking because that's the only reason anyone would want to deal with your shit.
Men or women. I don't care.
What should I do? I just can't take it anymore. I hate my job, and most everyone there. I can't take management, and I can't take my coworker who gets rule of the land because he's best friends with his boss. I wouldn't even care if I didn't get shit on all the time, while I have some kid who's worked there not nearly as long as I have acting like a smart ass cunt even though he literally does one thing all day and then acts like the rest of us are pieces of shit who hold him back. I can't take my love life anymore. After two bad first experiences that ended badly (first left me for a crack head twice our age, second was fucking her boss the whole time) I basically swore off trying again. Then I got fixed up with a coworker and it actually seemed pretty good and little by little she's been knocking back my fears. Problem is I recently found out that she was trying for several other guys at work before me (which wouldn't even be as big a problem if she'd been honest about that instead of making it sound like the guys were pursuing her and she was the one turning them down) and isn't actually broken up with her boyfriend. They were on a "break" when we first started hanging out apparently, not the break up she'd made it out to be. Now she's telling me she wants to leave him for me and I'm not stupid, I know if she did it to a guy she's been dating for years she'll do it to me too. I feel like I just want to get in my car and keep driving, but I can't. I have little money and nowhere to even run away to. I'm stuck here taking care of an unemployed mother who is always all to ready to jump down my throat with how much like my father I am. I can't do it anymore, I'm close to just blowing my brains out. I've always been depressed but it's only recently that suicide has become less of a fantasy and more of something I've been actively considering. Maybe it doesn't sound like a big problem to other people but fuck I can't sleep anymore.
I'm not here telling you not to, pay whoever you want, fuck whoever you want.
But the same way most guys don't want to fuck sluts, I don't want to touch a guy that fucks whores.
I have the same boyfriend since I was 15, living together for 5 years now, very happy, have sex almost every day, and all that stuff.
Not every man is a cheating piece of shit, and I'm fairly certain mine isn't.
Anyway, really, if you're done with the insults and bullshit I'd go to sleep.
Enjoy your prostitutes, I'll go sleep next to my boyfriend.
>I wouldn't even have sex with someone who had fucked around.
That's great. Neither would I, I personally dislike casual sex. I'm just saying if you are the person who does like casual sex, the reasoning why they might go for a prostitute is readily apparent.
It's not that they have to necessarily, it's that whores are whores and you're either paying them with money or time and what's more important depends on the person. A man who makes 6 figures probably values money less and time more than someone who works minimum wage for instance.
I'm in the city for 7 more days heres my cellphone if u wanna chill XXXXXXXXXX
Catfish? I live in a tourist town in Florida.
girls, is it true that if a guy can make you laugh, he has a chance?
>On certain days of the month my gf's vagina smells weird
>There is white stuff in/around clitoris
>Only like 2-5 days a month
She says it's normal, but I've been with 12 other women during 1 night stands and such and none of them have had this going on.
Is it alright and I'm being dumb or is it uncleanliness?
>I don't like feeling and knowing that to someone who's romantic with me thinks I have a "really bad point" is trying to ignore it for the sake of being a decent person. I would have been a really confident person so it bugs me a lot. Not in the way I cry every night and hate myself, but just feeling less than any average girl for this fact. A guy would pick a normal girl over me regardless of if I was smarter, interesting... at least she's not broken. I need therapy or something.
desu senpai it doesn't especially work that way.
Once you're emotionally invested in someone most physical stuff like that drops off the radar unless you don't really love each other and it's purely sexual attraction.
I know I didn't even come close to realizing my gf had gained like 25lbs until she stepped onto a scale and started crying about it.
>you mean different women are different??
No two dicks are the same, why should you expect vaginas to be any different?
Not just by virtue of being able to make me laugh alone, no.
If she's there for studying, stick to studying. If you feel any chemistry, ask her out properly
If she's autistic, she's not going to pick up on how awkward the question is
I have nothing against them. I just don't want to date a guy who's defective to the point where he has to resort to paying a woman, when I can get a guy who doesn't have to do that.
>No two dicks are the same, why should you expect vaginas to be any different?
Yeah but do normal vaginas occasionally have weird smelling white stuff in them or is it uncleanliness?
Depends what you consider weird smelling. It goes from clear to white and watery to gel-like depending on the time of the month and that's normal, but a strong / bad smell can indicate an infection, and anything that looks like cottage cheese most definitely does. It's not necessarily due to uncleanliness in any case. Could be due to hormones, pH imbalance or a weakened immune system.
>talking dirty easier for my boyfriend
What do you mean? Like he's not very good at it, how can I make him better or like he's not that into it but you want him to be?
Mostly the first one, but I secretly suspect that the second one is what's actually going on. He keeps saying he'll do it more often but then he doesn't, so I'd like to try and find some ways to make it easier for him to do it more often
Guys: Have you ever had a girl agree to go out with you after a cold approach?
Girls: Have you ever dated a guy who cold approached you?
I'm curious because I've always been skeptical of this method.
Invite her to some coffee, and smile a lot, don't be a dick.
If you think it's actually the second one maybe talk to him about it? If it turns out he isn't into it maybe tell him if he does get into it then you'll do something for him. Um, something my ex girlfriend used to do, when I was awful at dirty talking, was tease me in public and whisper in my ear what I wish we could be doing right now. I'd whisper back exactly what I wish we could be doing then. It helped me teach what I should say, and made me think of the scene a bit more. Best advice I got--hopes it kind of helps.
How can I keep a girl interested for a while before asking her? I'd do it much sooner but stuff
>have to do group presentation in a class
>get in a group with this qt
>seems like we're hitting it well enough
>presentation is in a month
I was thinking of holding off on asking her to do something until at the least the day of the presentation so that if its a no, shit wont get weird in the group and that we can finish the presentation thing without any issues. On the other hand, I feel like waiting is just going to make her lose any interest if she has any, and that its better to just go for it. What do?
I mean, he says he wants to do it. It's just hard to believe him because his actions say otherwise. I'd like to try what you and your ex did, but we're LDR and I have no clue when we're going to be able to see each other again
so i started talking to this girl, and she seems like she COULD possibly be a trap like i've seen girlier looking girls as traps.
If shes lying to me she can go to jail right? Like if i go down on her and i get a mouthful of dick can I sue?
Yeah, a few times. You do get a lot of no's though, well at least I do.
Go for it, honestly. If things don't go your way then act mature and don't let it phase you. It only gets awkward if you make it that way.
Maybe just have one more talk with him and tell him to tell you the truth on his opinion of the matter because it means a lot to you. Again, saying you'll do something in return is a good way to get something you want.Also bring up the fact you're in a LDR and while the relationship may never be in jeopardy because of it being an LDR one of the biggest issues with LDR's is lack of sex/sexual interaction. So doing that may secure the relationship lasts!
Ask for nudes first?
I'll have another talk with him about this. I think the main issue is that his sex drive is much lower than mine, so he's fine without dirty talk and stuff like that. It's more noticeable when we aren't together
>Go for it, honestly. If things don't go your way then act mature and don't let it phase you. It only gets awkward if you make it that way.
Even if I do that, the chance that she'd be uncomfortable working with me, or anything along those lines that would put the project at risk is a big one, which is why I'm pretty hesitant about doing it now though. If I just go about like its normal assuming it doesnt pan out, wont that not be the case for her?
Did you ask for anything more?
>sex drive isn't as high
Oh, well that is a problem. I don't know what to tell you. Really sorry :(
Can she back out of the project and stop working with you? Also it sounds like the project is kind of important--I'll assume she thinks so too. And she probably wouldn't let her own awkwardness interfere with it. But if you don't want to do any of that and want her to stay interested just make sure to always seem interested yourself. Talk to her, be a bit flirty, and always seem invested(like you give a shit, y'know?)
If you (girls) had a crush on a guy and then the guy doesn't show interest you eventually move on right?
Well, what if when you move on and you start talking to a guy, the guy eventually falls for you? Would you give him a chance or did he miss the train?
Girls: So I asked out the cute girl in my English class to dinner and she said yes. But, earlier, before I asked her out she told me how she does volunteer work at 2 different places. She said that again after she said yes, but said when she gets time to breathe, she'll tell me. We're still going to talk in general, but, how long should I wait before asking about the date again? A week?
Watch some light femdom porn (you don't want to jump straight to the extreme) and try to emulate it. I recommend starting by taking the lead and control during sex and doing some more aggressive dirty talk before progressing.
Oh, man, the best things are free:
>cycling (free if you have bike)
>arts/crafts (not free but super cheap)
>learn to cook (you gotta eat regardless)
I could go on but I think you get the idea
Just tell her to hit you up when she's free but keep talking to her. So whenever she is free she'll gladly tell you.
>Just tell her to hit you up when she's free but keep talking to her.
So basically what we already established. Word. I just don't usually know because sometimes the busy thing is an excuse, but it doesn't seem like it this time.
Question for guys:
I find myself liking guys in my program that are somehow always 2 years my junior. I'm gonna graduate uni come this summer. I mean it's a small age gap, but compounded onto this is the fact I'm not from the same culture. Is it worth going after guys in these cases? I feel so old for some reason...
if you have bad luck offline, you'll have bad luck online
bad signals and/or attention whoring. rise above: focus on science
>never really had a strong desire for dating, and also managed to be surrounded by people I never want to even consider dating
I'd prefer another atheist. i have no intention of converting and I just know eventually there'd be that pressure
those are fake
That's what I was thinking too, but my program is small so everyone knows each other.
As in they're white. I'm not white. Most of the time the guy either as yellow fever or only likes Hollister poster girls.
>Talk to her, be a bit flirty, and always seem invested(like you give a shit, y'know?)
How exactly does one "be flirty" without coming off like a thirsty nigga? I have a serious lack of self confidence and all that so I've never really done this before so I'm pretty damn lost when it comes to maintaining that interest by doing these things
Any examples to put it in perspective?
I live about 20 minutes away from this girl, and when we see each other she comes to the city where I live.
Is it weird to ask her if she could show me her town next time instead?
We aren't dating, but I'm going to ask her next time we meet.
Why. As a guy with an 8x6 penis. Why.
I ask because your vagina isnt 8 inches long. So that just means half my dick hangs out. At best you are 7 inches long. Personally I think 7.5 is the upper limit of what is practical for a vagina.
And then girth.You start to stretch at like 5 inches of girth. 5.5 fills you up. 6 means that I cant really move around inside of you.
I know this because my penis is a cone shape that goes for 5.25-6.125 and I know how wide I am when your vagina cant take anymore. Which is normally around 5.5-5.75. Which doesnt really matter because thats about when you start running out of vagina unless you are super aroused.
The guys women go for. The attractive 20% of men.
My issue is the disparity between men and women. Like women arent actually all that attractive when you start actually dating them. Its just women get makeup and men dont.