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ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender
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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon
Fuck off

Old Thread: >>16819303
>>
Do masculine one-ups and matters of "pride" and "honour" matter much to women?

I was at a party last week and a friend of mine nearly got into a fight with another guy there. It deescalated and off we went. Anyway I was telling this story to a guy who I don't really like (but I can get along with him) and this girl who I really do like and want to eventually get with.

My friend the one in the dispute then came over and I let the conversation trail away and I changed it into a different subject before he got there. This guy is an old and very good friend of mine who would not have cared that I was talking about the argument, I held back because he has anger issues and I didn't want it to be at the front of his mind so I just let it lie rather than have him get into it.

This guy I don't like met my eyes and smiling smugly kept saying "tell us the story, keep going with this story" he knew I had stopped intentionally. Anyway when it was all over in front of the girl I liked he said to me "That's why you shouldn't gossip about your friends bro." He made me look like a complete idiot in front of this guy, made it seem like I was going behind my friends back and just left feeling smug and seeming superior.

Not being privy to any of this information, if you were the girl standing there and watched this unfold, would you think poorly of me?
>>
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>>16825972
>I was at a party last week and a friend of mine nearly got into a fight with another guy th.....
>>>/soc/
>>
>>16825975

>>>/r9k/
>>
>>16825984
This is our land

Fuck off back to facebook
>>
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How do i tell people i failed them? I made this post but i guess nobody hear gives a shit about me, so i'm hoping someone in these helpful threads could give me some advice. >>16825885

i feel fucking awful
>>
Girls: Does it matter how I phrase essentially the same request to you
I.e. "Want to hang out" vs "We should hang out".

You know, I want to exude confidence, and act assertive, and I frequently catch myself phrasing stuff like the former, always seeking permission and shit. Does it even matter?
>>
Question for the women

I'm thinking about telling a woman how I feel, is it best to do it in person or how about email/text?

Thoughts??
>>
>>16826038
Focusing less on such minutiae, and just saying what comes to mind, is the best way to come off as confident.
>>
>>16826075
What is your current relationship?
>>
>>16826075
Never confess over text/whatever medium you use. It comes off far weaker than if done in person. Plus, you need to demonstrate some level of confidence in yourself.
>>
Why females doesn't install Gentoo as much as males?
>>
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>>16826189
Women value security over freedom.
Accordingly they fail to see the value of free proprietary software.
>>
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Women,
Do you find yourself pretty in the mirror without makeup.
Where do I find girls who are pretty without makeup?
How do I get a girl who is pretty without makeup to not wear makeup.

Pic related. If shes wearing makeup at least she doesnt look it at all.
>>
>>16826178
A co-worker I have a crush on, known her for more than 2 years close to 3

>>16826188
We email each other, only for of communication since she left for out the country
>>
>>16826220
Start going on dates, wait to tell her how you feel until a couple dates in.
>>
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>>16826189
Because all they need is Facebook machines. An android tablet is enough.
>>
Women, why do you get so pissy if a guy mentions he wants a virgin girl when he too I a virgin? Do you all seriously take it as a personal insult when you don't fit the bill?
>>
>>16826208
she is probably wearing mascara and base anon.

i´m a woman and i don´t wear make up because i´m too fucking lazy but sometimes i try eyeliner but more in the "i might be a raccoon who knows" approach.

you can find girls who are pretty without makeup in lots of places but desu most girls wear it (even if it´s just mascara or base or a BB Cream).
>>
Yelling:

>ask why spouse is doing something
>get yelled at
>ask spouse why they're looking at asian underwear musicians right in front of me
>get yelled at
>buy spouse really fucikng nice birthday presents, let them pick whatever they want to drink for their birthday, don't complain at all about them buying cigar for their birthday even though I'm allergic, cook food for spouse
>get yelled at
>spouse was gone for 2 days on business
>came home and talked about nothing but themselves, never asked how I was, I had to interject it myself
>get yelled at
>I'm sitting here typing this while my spouse is literally less than a foot away watching guitar videos on youtube
>get a guilt trip for not paying attention to the videos.
>>
>>16826208
She is wearing makeup. A lot actually.
Foundation, highlight, contour, mascara, blush, and eyeshadows. And it looks like she also filled in her eyebrows.
>>
Should I end it with my girlfriend? I really don't want to hurt her but I don't feel anything inside me anymore. All we do is watch shit on Netflix and we hardly talk.

It could be my ROCD or my anxiety talking but still
>>
>>16825942
Girls what would be some fun activities you would want to do with a guy. just simple things, specifically for a girl under 25. im in a city >1m
>>
>>16826262
>>16826285
yeah I figured. Its really hard to find pictures of women with no makeup on the internet. I took this image because she often has a massive amount of filters on.
I really dont like eyeliner. I know why but that doesnt change it.
In person its fairly easy to tell if someone is wearing makeup but only a few girls go no makeup and are pretty. The pretty ones try to look prettier and it ruins it.
>>
>>16826300
>but I don't feel anything inside me anymore

Try pegging.
>>
>>16826328
Try inviting Tyrone over for some fun. She will love it.
>>
>>16826278
Sounds like you married the wrong person..
>>
men who have to be told to help your SO with house chores, what is it? is it that you really don't notice the stuff around you that needs doing? or is it that you don't give a fuck? Seeing your SO taking on the whole of the housework, playing with the children and teaching them stuff, doesn't make you think that maybe, just maybe, your SO would appreciate it immensely if you got off your ass every now and then on your own, without being told?
>>
>>16826347
To me, I think the situation varies based on household.

Typically speaking, men are the primary breadwinner of the family. They just got home after a long hard day of getting fucked in the ass by their boss. The person with the harder job should understandably given some leeway.

However, this doesn't have to be a gender issue. If I were in a situation where my wife's job was harder than mine, I would gladly take up most if not all of the chores.

If I were a coal miner and my wife was a waitress, I would still try to help, but not as much as I'd like, or able to.

If I were a hairdresser and my wife was a construction worker, I would do most of the chores.

If my wife and I were both school teachers, we'd try to split the chores evenly.
>>
>>16826329
the easiest way to know if a girl is wearing make up or not is to check if freckles/birth marks/pimples are there, i dont wear makeup because i have freckles and i am fond of them and makeup pretty much hides them and it sucks.
>>
Men, how important is it for you that a woman dresses traditionally? I hate skirts and dresses, skinny jeans, etc. I wear boxers for underwear because they're just comfortable, mostly no bra (don't really need them), baggy pants, wide jeans, large shirts, large hoodies, etc.
In highschool I got the whole "you dress like a boy"-thing a lot, it hasn't been an issue since but I'm still kinda self conscious about it.
>>
>>16826360
SO works, I stay at home with the kids and do everything. When SO gets home I let them rest and relax after their day of work...but the resting and relaxing keeps getting longer and longer and now even chores that they used to take care of before, are left undone for me to either remind them, or do myself. I can never get a break, I never get to relax after a long busy day. I'm okay with letting them relax because they do work hard but at this point I'm beginning to feel taken for granted.

this is without mentioning that their relaxing part involves earphones so there's no talking to them either.
>>
>>16826372
boxers are SO COMFORTABLE
>>
>>16826372
To me, public matters a lot more than private.

I don't really care what you wear at home, I don't really care what you wear when we're on a date, I sort of care what you wear to work, and I strongly care about what you wear at social gatherings where we're seen together.

It might sound unreasonable, but an answer's an answer.
>>
>>16826378
Yes they are, fuck panties.
>>
>>16826384
I'm a graphics designer, nobody really cares what I wear to work. I'd kinda understand it at social gatherings, but I probably wouldn't change much honestly.
>>
Femanon, tits or gtfo

Anyway, I think this girl might be into me? She works at a coffee shop I frequent almost everyday, she smiles and holds eye contact most than other girls that work there, or it's just b/c she has to smile at her customers
>>
Best not to hit on people when they're doing their job
>>
>>16826361
No there are girls who dont have facial blemishes like that. Not everyone has skin flaws.
>>
>>16826372
No boxers. Dress like a woman. Women clothing and men clothing are different for a reason.
>>
guys:
i have a friend who always says romantic-ish stuff to me but always throws in a "bro" in there, i call him dude and/or bro pretty much all the time. i´m kinda confused about that.
>>
>>16826189
because gnu/linux/gentoo is a shit OS
>>16826347
i have a very specific cleaning schedule. tone down the salt
>>16826372
i'd like someone who puts some effort into their appearance
>>16826400
generally
>>16826420
either have that conversation with him or don't think about it
>>
>>16826423
I´m asking right now and he said the ideal romantic situation is to find a bro that is a hoe.
>>
>>16826433
are you or do you want to be a bro and a hoe?
>>
>>16826437
kinda. i know he has no time for a relationship and me neither but these last few weeks he has been way more atentive towards me.

now when i send him a text he replies right away and tells me when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up he sends something as well (not good morning or anything, one day he sent me a rare pepe)
>>
Girls

Why do you make fun of guys who have been on long dry spells?

I was flirting with a girl earlier tonight and she said something along the lines of "ahh it's been a while for me, go easy ;)" me I said "it's been a while for me too" so she pressed me and I told her 4 years. She fucking laughed at me. "OMG ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??!! Hhhowww?? hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahaha"

What the fuck, I literally deleted her out of my contacts from that.

I've had another girl laugh at me before too. I'm worried I'm going to find a girl that I like, and when she finds out she'll laugh too.. :(
>>
>>16826347
>is it that you really don't notice the stuff around you that needs doing?
You think it needs to be done. Not me. You are the one who wants it done not me. You are asking me to do something I find unnecessary, unimportant, and dont care about.
>hurr theres a stain on the floor
Ive dont care. I remember when my roomie tried to tell the rest of us that we needed to get the stains out of the carpet and we literally said fuck off.
Go look and a young mans college dorm room and you should understand. What you find important and what guys find important is different and you sound like a total bitch trying to force your values on someone and tell them what to do.
>>
>>16826463
Maybe because they didnt know you were a faggot with sensitive feelings. If you werent a faggot you would have seen that theres a compliment in there.
>>
>>16826463
Never give them an actual figure, not even a ballpark one.

The ones that persist in knowing, I usually make a Sahara joke and they get the message that they ain't getting it from me.
>>
>>16826469

>there is a compliment in there

What compliment??

>>16826471

but what if I absolutely suck in bed. I'm not looking for 1 night stands. I don't want to just fuck once. So I'm really worried about my preformance
>>
>>16826477
When I was a virgin girls used to give me the same response. Its because they didnt understand how someone attractive with a large dick hadnt been using it. You are just a little bitch.
>>
>>16826372
That's fine as long as it's in a casual setting, and you yourself are attractive. If you're not attractive you're going to have to put more effort into being feminine.

[spoiler]Attractive girls wearing boxers is actually a turn on.[/spoiler]
>>
>>16826507

it sure doesn't sound like a compliment to me
>>
>>16826372
I wouldnt say its a deal breaker, but I really really like it when she dresses up nice. However even dressing like a man isnt a pass for dressing like a slob.

>>16826420
Hard to say. If I was doing something like that, I'd probably be trying to stress you're a good friend and threw in the bro stipulation to prevent sending the wrong vibes though.

Chat him up about it.
>>
>>16826527
Because youre a little faggot who needs his ego stroked.
>>
>How do I get a girl's number if I'm not a regular anywhere? There's no one public place I go to regularly. Saying "hey you're cute, what's your number?" won't work.
>>
>>16826603
Why did I greentext this?
>>
>>16826373
>>16826347
Do you help him with his work?
>>
>>16826603
Telling girls how attractive they are will only get the numbers of sluts.

>>16826463
This is not something you should disclose.

>>16826394
She literally gets paid to be nice to you.
>>
>>16826637

>this is not something you should disclose

But isn't it also something they would figure out in 3.5 seconds?
>>
Girls, what kinds of guys do you have casual sex with? Out of the guys who do pursue you with the intent of getting in your pants, how many do you let in?
On the flip side of the coin, how many guys here try to get fwb status with a girl, while being forward about your intentions, but she declines (forwardly or not)?
I'm trying to work out the character of they guy who is promiscuous.
>>
>>16826746
maybe you should reconsider the women you associate with if they behave like that
>>
>>16826394
There's no way you can tell since she will behave like that to every customer. Only way you could know is if you start a conversation with her when she isnt busy and hope you dont find yourself carrying it.
>>
>>16826752

:(
>>
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>>16825942
I'm a 5' 6" male.

Should I just give up? The only minor success I've had with women is through tinder because they haven't met me yet. When first dates I always make it at restaurants or coffee shops so I can get there early and sit down.
It always goes great, she's giggling non-stop, calling me by name unnecessarily, last first date I had she was telling me how cute was, we were talking in a Starbucks for 4 hours.

Then I stand up.

When this happens I always watch her face as I get up. Their face fucking sinks. If I'm getting up to go to the bathroom I can tell she's trying really hard to still like me. We text a while after than and then "let's be friends".
>>
>>16826764
My dad's 5'6", so there's your inspiration to reproduce.
>>
>>16826764

Dam son. That sucks
>>
>>16826772
I didn't even mention the treatment I get from men which might be worth.

Does anyone else get called "buddy" by people their own age at 21? Annoys the shit out of me.
>>
>>16826764
Try not deceiving them. Itd be one thing if you just arrived early. But you are purposefully hiding an important detail.
>>
>>16826776
yeah and my 24 and 6' and weigh 185 with sub 10% bodyfat because I play sports in college. Dont be that insecure.
>>
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Ladies, what are your thoughts on topfreedom?

Would you go to the town/city/downtown area topless to do your usual business and shopping and groceries etc topless?
>>
God! I'm so fucking pissed with myself!!!!!!

I've been texting this girl for quite a while and everything's been great! But lately she has been saying she's been having a hard time understanding me sometimes. I don't know why I'm fucking this up!!! Whenever she texts different then normal I notice I always ask "is everything ok?" I think it's confusing her. And sometimes i take breaks in texting and it makes her confused

Why the fuck am I doing this!!?!?!?? I never did this before.

What the fuck am I doing
>>
>>16826815
Do men go about their daily lives without a shirt? I wouldn't personally, but would prefer to not have double standards thrust upon me due to increased breast size (I mean, come on, I'm almost smaller than an a cup.)
>>
>>16826815
Wtf, no! But i wouldn't do that as a guy either. It's gross to shove your naked and often unsightly body into others face.
>>
>>16826815
No way.
>>
>>16826748
Easy. That guy that sees sex as something playfull too. The one that can still be respeftful and decent even if you have no-strings-attached sex with him.
Basically, if you think/let her know a girl is a slut to sleep with you without being in a relationship you won't get any.
>>
>>16826748
I don't
>>
>>16826807
>an important detail.
Just kill me
>>
>>16826807
>Every single thing they like eccept one shallow vapid thing that I cannot change.

Nah. Weeds out the woman who are dumb.
>>
Is it a red flag for guys if a girl has no friends?
>>
Girls

Can a guy be too caring? What's the line?
>>
>>16826823
>It's gross to shove your naked and often unsightly body into others face.

I will never be ashamed of my own body.

So if you see my fatass and jiggly belly walking down the street, you better be ready.
>>
I don't like going out at night/evening.

Is this a turnoff for girls?
>>
>>16826846
Sure.
The line is where he becomes more of a servant who's only goal in life is to lick the ground you walk on. Also grratly depends on how much i like you. If you are a "friend", back off. If you are my bf yu can get away with rather awkward behaviour before it gets cringey
>>
>>16826854
Nah. Just find a girl that's similar
>>
Guys,
My bf never had to "chase" me. Mostly because i hate playing games. I liked him from the start and i showed that pretty obviously. Why do so many people believe that a guy values a girl higher when she's "hard to get"? It just seems immature and sad to act as if you don't care about somebody you DO care.
>>
>>16826855

What about if you are always supportive when that person is going through a hard time? Or if that person seems to not be acting normal if you check on them?

Nothing extreme, but just being caring
>>
>>16826860

I'd rather a girl who doesn't play games. The "game" is frustrating and annoying as fucking hell
>>
>>16826862
Depends. Lets say you're a coworker and i'm having a bad day. If you go on and pester me about the reaso and then ask me for five days how i'm feeling i might plot to kill you cause it's not your business. If you are a friend and i have been shutting myself off and you are genuinely concerned, i could tolerate that. If you are a close friend/family/bf i think it's important to catch when somebody feels down all the time and help them trough the rough patch
>>
>>16826746
It doesn't matter if she figures it out. Throwing it out there shows you're insecure.

>>16826748
I don't have casual sex.

>>16826764
It's not your height.

>>16826815
I wouldn't, but only because I can't keep myself warm.

>>16826846
Yes, but the line is tough to define.

>>16826854
If you won't go out to dinner, that's a problem. Other nighttime events, not really an issue.
>>
>>16826865
I think so too. But what does that mean in reality? What maked the difference between an approachable behaviour being cheap or neat
>>
>>16826870
>If you are a friend and i have been shutting myself off and you are genuinely concerned, i could tolerate that.

Ok that's my situation. sometimes I can tell from her texts that she's not feeling alright like tonight This conversation happened

Her- " . "
Me- "hey what's up?"
Her-"nothing"
Me-"here watch this video I saw on YouTube you'll like it! <link>"
Her-"I'll watch it tomorrow.....ok?"
Me-"yeah sure, are you going to bed soon?"
Her-"ive been in bed"
Me- "oh ok"
Her- "bye then"
Me- "hey is everything alright? I'm here if you need to talk

Read but she never replied. Usually our conversations are really fun! So when she texts like that, I feel as if she isn't doing too good. Although sometimes when I ask she denies it.
>>
>>16826873

I wouldn't say it's cheap. But if you are more approachable then the guy will probably be more comfortable around you
>>
Girls, I'm conflicted and sad. I kind of half asked out a friend of mine at a bad time and I don't know if I should follow it up.

We're language students going on work placements in the same sort of area, I left it to the last minute right before she left in her car to ask her if she wanted to maybe meet up at some point. She seemed to become quite shy and awkward and I did too, she wasn't looking at me much, looking at the wall and floor and stuff. I prefaced the question with "I remember you saying it's a shame you wouldn't get the chance to speak much (insertlanguagehere) where you're going" - she agreed and we kind of talked about that for a few seconds, she was like "Yeah, yeah, we could have, like, a *language* party, the problem with speaking it in the city we're going is you never know who's listening" and I mumbled something about sending her a text and she left. There's me, my male friend and her in this situation to explain the word "party" she used.

I can recognise someone who feels uncomfortable and she looked it. I think she likes me enough as a friend though that's why she still talked to me throughout. I can't tell if I should actually approach her via text next week and say "listen, I probably caught you at the wrong time but do you wanna go do XYZ with me", fuck I don't know.
>>
>>16826832
Girls are cruel, anon ;_;

I'm 5'8 so I think I'm safe, but just barely.
>>
>>16826878
I suspect that you are interested in more than just friendship?
Cause it sounds as if she just doesn't feel like opening up to you. It might be that that's just the way she is. Or maybe she just doesn't think YOU are the one she want's to confide in. What do you know, maybe she's down because of some seriously personal stuff. You need to be inside the family/close friends/bf circle to be that close to her
>>
There was this girl that i had in a class. At first we started as friends but slowly we became interested in each other. Cause of finals and shit like that we arranged to hang out after class ended. But right after, she started avoiding the topic and cause i got tired of trying to press the issue i got mad and told her that i wanted to hang out cause i was interested in her. She didnt reply back and i got busy plus a mix of pride made me not text her after that.
Its been 2 months after and she texted me again. We talked for a bit and i still like her but at this point im not sure what to make of it.

Im very confident she liked me but maybe i came off as too forceful. She had a lot of family problems. so should i give it a go and talk to her more or should i assume its already fucked? For the women in here would you still be interested in someone after two months of not talking to them or is it more like she just wants to be friends?
>>
>>16826887

she texted me one night at 1130pm "HELP ME"

I called her right away and she was having a panic attack. I spent 40minutes on the phone with her doing breathing exercises and she just cried and listened to me as I talked to her to calm her down. I feel like she must really trust me to come to me with a issue like that while it's happening.
>>
>>16826879
Well, my bf's rather shy and awkward. I guess that's a reason why i made an effort to be approachable and inviting when around him. Althought i'm generally like that... Meh, i don't worry too much about it. I just hope this doesn't backbite someday because he takes me for granted
>>
>>16826892
Yeah, that's sketchy. Why did she have that attack?
>>
>>16826896

she's told me in the past that she has had one before. That was the second time she's ever had one. She says she doesn't know, but I think it's just built up stress.

I really care about her a lot. she knows it too. that's why whenever I notice she's texting irregular from how she normally is (she's usually very positive and energetic) I always check in on her. I'm just worried I'm becoming too pushy. Because most of the time she'll say "no really I'm fine..."

Like just this morning I woke up to a text from her with a picture of her cute face saying "Good morning Andrew!! I wish you a amazing day! :)" and we had a really good talk all day. But at the end of the night the conversation went to what I showed you above
>>
>>16826899
She sounds a bit unstable. You sure you want to put up with that? She probably doesn't make any sense and has emotional hiccups like that occasionally. I could go inti detail cause i've been the same but that would be assumptions and besides there's nothing you can do. She needs to grow out of this on her own
>>
>>16826907

>emotional hiccups

I think that might be a good word do define this.

Well what do you suggest I do? this might sound stupid to you, but we are just very close friends but we live in different countries. I really care about her a lot. And I know she cares about me. When I'm having a bad day she will go out of her way to cheer me up. One day she left work early because she wanted to skype with me because I was really down. And the whole skype session she was just smiling and really trying to cheer me up.

she knows I like her more than a friend level. she told me she has feelings for me too, but doesn't feel she's in the position for a committed relationship. She has bigger things on her mind which she needs to get done first. Which i respect that.

I just want to be there for her. She has told me that I've a very positive thing in her life. She always brightens my day too. I just want to do the same for her. But I also don't want to be too clingy
>>
Women:
I'm a teen that is shy but can have a great time with friends and family and enjoy socializing with people I'm comfortable around. I am insecure about my looks, though they're mostly things I can fix (overweight, some acne, hairy, bad fashion sense). I feel like my insecurity makes me awkward and even more shy around people I don't know and especially girls. I don't flirt with girls for fear of rejection because they're talking to guys that are more attractive then me. Do I have a chance of getting with a hot girl if I work on my personality and awkwardness and become confident? Or should I try to make myself more attractive to have a chance?(by losing weight, working of style, etc) I just don't know what to say when it comes down to the wire, but in my head can think of how to act confident. If I could act more confident, would I be good? I have had a really hot girl tell me I'm funny and cool, but she already has a boyfriend and we're kind of friends. She's also a solid 8 or 9. Does this mean I show promise?
>>
>>16826881
Yeah, actually, fuck it, I can read between the lines, I'll just move on. Fuck.
>>
>>16826871
>If you won't go out to dinner, that's a problem.

Only if its in my place or hers.

Home cooked is better than chemical blobs of goo.
>>
>>16826920
Can you tell me what exactly is her problem? Bad childhood?

However, you really can't do shit. She doesn't sound like she's ready to really
work on her issues and make a change. As long as she's stuck like that all you can do is put up with her unstable self untill you can't take it anymore cause you never know what the hell is going on inside her head. She needs to learn to open up and all you can do to help her is being inviting, approachable, empathic, understanding and non-judgemental.
>>
Is it a gigantic turnoff for you girls if I can't defend myself without risking a prison sentence?

yes my country has shitty self defense laws.
>>
>>16826923
Really hard to tell. As it sounds this was a really awkward encounter. Maybe just follow trough with that "party" and see how the chemistry is between the two of you? Just testing the waters
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>>16826943

she lives in a small town, and she gets treated like shit at her job. Her manager is a piece of shit and treats all of the girls there bad. And with it being a small town, people talk. And when I visited with her in December (me being American) people knew and spread rumors. Even though we had a great time together. She wants to move and do great things but she isn't in the position to do that yet. Plus she failed one of her final exams for her degree last fall, so she has to retake that this coming spring so she's stressing over that.

So she does have a lot going on. So do you suggest I just keep being open like I have been? Her feelings are important to me
>>
>>16826944
Why are guys so stuck up on this. If i'm out with my bf i'd rather have him not be confrontial and agressive. That's cringey and immature. And if a situation really calls for defending oneself then nobody will beat you up over doing so. And don't you lie to me.
>>
Boys, my boyfriend is struggling with his porn "addiction". When we'd have sex, half the time he has a problem with going soft and having to work himself up again. The worst though, is when he doesn't want to have sex at all, even though he has a regular sex drive when he feels healthy and "away from porn". He shared with me that he's had a problem and how it seems to be a male-only problem where he watches porn, then it escalates into more extreme stuff for him to get off... trannies. Then he's unable to even get an erection and so, avoids sex because it won't work anyway. I told him it's okay if he's bisexual and he can sleep with a trap or whatever, and that it isn't a bad thing to be bisexual... He tells me he is straight and is struggling with this porn thing, and that he reads about a lot of guys having similar sexual dysfunctions... Currently, he is trying to stay off porn, told me to give him a few weeks for his dick to work again.

What do you think about this? How can I help? Do you reckon he is most certainly bisexual for getting off to traps, and sissy caption shit? He also likes dressing up in girly stuff in private, he doesn't do it ever, but he did buy stuff online for himself. I miss sex with him and we broke up to take a break to fix our own problem but we still hang out as if we are together. During our relationship, I thought maybe he was unattracted to me, so I said he could fuck his hot ex, and later traps once I found out and then he started having dick problems.
>>
>>16826955
Is she a hairdresser ot what? She sounds insecure and like a push-over. If she's not happy with her job she can find something else. God i hate when people complain about shit and then necer do anything about it. Where's a will there's a way.
I don't want to talk bad about her cause i was exactly like that, but i wish i could go to her and kick her ass for being such a whiny wimp
>>
>>16826940
Are you really implying that all restaurants serve are "blobs of goo"?
>>
Do most guys that don't fap also not watch porn?
>>
>>16826966

She works at a coffee bar. The thing is the economy is shitty in her country, and she lives in a small town. So it's not easy to find work. If she lived in the US then yeah I'd definitely push for her to quit and go somewhere else (and contact the DoL). But because of where she lives that not a option unfortunately.
>>
>>16826968
Maybe the restaurants HE goes to...
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>>16826974
Where does she life? India? Because if it isn't a third world country theren is NO excuse.
>>
>>16826971

I fap everyday but almost never watch porn.

There has been times I've watched Riley Reid getting fucked by other girls and never fapped. Just watched it out of boredom
>>
>>16826978

A European country with a shit economy. Unemployment is high there. I think she's lucky to have a job Tbh. She is trying to save money so she can move after she finishes her degree
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>>16825987
>>>/a/
>>>/lgbt/
>>
>>16826979
I'm asking cause my bf doesn't fap. And i on the other side fap a lot and watch porn almost every day. I'm not sure if he does this because he thinks "fapping and porn is bad, m'kay"/for no-fap reasons or just because he doesn't feel it (which i don't think, his sex drive is very high when we are together. But maybe that's one of the reasons too... Hmm.)
I don't actually need any advice, i just think it's a bit odd.
>>
>>16826951
It was really awkward, I can't believe I fucked up so badly. All I wanted was to ask her out on an actual coffee date or something and get rejected so I have my answer.

I spoke to her best friend about it afterwards, she pointed out the problems of a "third wheel" if I were to bring my other friend, maybe I can get the four of us to meet up somehow for Chinese food or something.

She also pointed out she had no idea I felt that way, it wasn't obvious at all and that she had no idea how this girl felt. She said she's going to try talking to her surreptitiously about it (maybe from a "I like <myname>, what do you think of him) kind of position. I'm not 100% comfortable with that but that's what she wanted to do.
>>
>>16826981
And there's no social security? I'm sorry anon, i don't mean to tear her appart. I just can't stand when people search for excuses to bask in their miserability. She doesn't need to quit. Just stand up for herself and speak her mind. Have some dignity and stand her ground. If she gets kicked out, so be it. Does she think the few bucks she earns justify her having panick attacks?
>>
>>16826992
Sounds like a plan. Don't overthink. The ball is rolling. Keep that friend in your boat. But if she tells you that this girl isn't interested, drop it and move on. No need to get stuck in this.
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>>16826995

>social security

I have no idea Tbh

But she does stand up for herself, but she still gets treated like shit. And she doesn't want to get fired because she really wants to move. So money is needed.

But back to my question. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? If she seems to appear down, is it ok for me to ask "hey are things ok?". Just basic check ups? I really don't want to appear too clingy. That's my only concern
>>
>>16826999
You see, the two of you kind of act like in a ldr. Either you two make up your minds and actually make it a relationship or you will continue to be her emotional tampon.

Yeah, in your situation i think it's appropriate to push for an answer. She let you in on her emotions, but only when she feels like it. That's playing games and fishing for attention. Either she is interested in really opening up to you or she should get lost
>>
>>16826998
Thank you, I'll keep in touch with them all and we'll work something out. I'm fine with dropping it if need be, I've spent enough time worrying about it and there's plenty of fish in the sea and whatnot.
>>
>>16827008

That seemed kind of harsh..

Well, I'm going back to visit her early this summer. I'd rather talk to her about the relationship thing in person. We are going to be going on a week long trip together
>>
>>16826957
>And don't you lie to me.

I can't defend myself.

There. I said it.

If a guy attacks me I am 100% done. Dead.

I don't have the strength to run away nor hide, and I don't have the strength to use my arms to block attacks of any kind.
>>
>>16827022

why not do something about it if it bothers you so much?
>>
Girls, do you find it creepy if a guy suddenly pats your head?

Did it with a girl I'm close with when we were sitting together and I stood up, about to leave. It was just a joking "be nice" gesture on a whim, but she completely ignored it. Think I should make a mental note to never do that again?
>>
>>16827029
What did you want her to reply with? "Thanks for the head pat?"
>>
>>16827025
>if it bothers you so much?

if I even do as a single push against my attacker I can get a €3K fine for my attackers damages, or get three years of jail time, at minimum.

Even punching my attacker in my own fucking apartment is more horrible than me being beaten to half death by my attacker.

So yeah, I can't do jack fucking shit about this problem without fucking invading the country I was fucking born in.

And yes, my country's self defense laws always make me fucking angry.
>>
>>16827037

What country do you live in? Self defense is a basic human right.

Anyways, about your question. If you legally CAN'T defend yourself. Then why are you worried about girls will think? They would know the law
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>>16827029
Probably not with the same girl.
>>
>>16826944
>>16826957
>>16827022
>>16827025
>>16827037
>>16827040
Sounds like UK, Denmark, Sweden and Finland to me.
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>>16827035
Missing the point here.

>>16827041
Suppose not. I never do that kind of thing usually.
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>>16827048
I'm not missing the point. I honestly don't understand what you expected her to react with?

I head pat and scruffle the hair of people all the time. Just be wary of the princess type of girls, they can get upset that you messed up their hair, but other than that its never been an issue for me.
>>
>>16827053
I'm not talking about the reaction. It's just doing it by itself that I was talking about. Heard a lot of people and anons talk about how they hate it and such, so it got me wondering.
>>
>>16827063
Are you autistic?

Why didn't you just ask "Do girls like it when guys pat there heads?"

There was no need to mention your scenario and her reaction if you weren't asking about it...
>>
Hey people this is a serious question, and I need answers.

Which is best for kids?

Theodore Tugboat or Thomas the Tank Engine?
>>
question for everyone

would you date someone who is mentally ill

like not so ill that they aren't able to properly seek help and take it out on themselves by hurting themselves
>>
>>16827068
Shit like that never gets replies. Besides, if it did people would just go
>read the OP dipshit, some do some don't
>>
>>16827077
Thats because its true.

There is literally no way to tell, its all up to the individual person.

With that being said, i'm the type of guy that pats/scruffles hair with friends, i've never once had someone complain or say anything negative about me doing it, its just a cute way of showing affection.

But princess-type girls who obsess about there looks might have a sad because itll mess up their hair.. avoid doing it if you think the girl is that type.
>>
>>16827072
Depends on the illness. I've dated everything from self harmers, to drug addicts, to depression, to anxiety, to panic disorders.

The only thing i'd steer clear of is manipulative/drama-obsessed mental illnesses like Borderline Personality Disorder.
>>
It came to happen that I told a girl I'll cook for her tonight.
Just now she asked me whether I was still up for the plan, and I said yes. I asked her for her adress, and she gave it. She however replied with "oh, we're eating at my place?".
am I looking too much into this? Does she mean she rather goes to my place?
>>
>>16827069
I don't like both of them. I really dig "pat & mat". Shit's cute and hillarious
>>
>>16827123
You invited her. That's as if you tell your friends that you will do some bbq and then show up at their place with the intetion to use their kitchen and stuff. Fucking weird
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>>16827081
>>16827077
Girls that are excessively short tend to take issue with it.

>>16827123
I don't like it when people I don't know that well invite themselves over. I don't even like it when my friends use my kitchen. That's my space. Generally when you make plans to cook for someone, that means they're going to your place.

>>16827072
No.
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>>16827069
Of those two Thomas wins (my four year old digs it).

I agree with the other anon in regards to Pat&Mat
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>>16826860
>why are scarce things more valuable?

Literally basic economics. I will agree though that there's definitely a difference between playing hard-to-get and actually being hard to get. The former being annoying and fake, the latter usually demonstrating standards and discernment.
>>
Girls: is it true that lots of you have rape fantasies? If so how does that work? Do you fantasize about a random stranger assaulting you in the street or you would like your partner to simulate a rape?

I'm asking this because my ex gf had these types of fantasies, well actually i'm not sure about rape but she really loved to be "abused" by me, it was more like a maledom fantasy.
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>>16827218
But that would mean that if a girl IS "hard to get" then she is out of your league. Cause if she isn't PLAYING hard-to-get she's just not reachable for you. Meaning that it should never be a chase to get with a girl inside your league or she is playing games.
>>
>>16827219
Ye, I usually like imagining two people with a power difference, where the authority figure takes advantage of their subordinate. For example, a doctor and his patient or nurse, an owner and his slave, a teacher and his student, an adult and a child, a master and his maid, a boss and his secretary, ect.

I like reversed gender too (especially /ss/), as well as both same gender.

It's all about power dynamics and control. Very hot.
>>
>>16827219
Quiet common i guess.
I once really tried to get to the bottom of this and my fantasy is that i'm used for pleasure against my will. My fantasies mostly consist of scenarios like an authority person taking advantage of somebody. As in a teacher and a student, or a priest and whoever. I guess it has to do with that liberating feeling of not actually wanting this so you can enjoy it absolutely guilt-free. For example, as a girl you "shouldn't" like getting manhandled and fucked like they mean it (very rhetorically speaking). But when you get FORCED into it then it's a whole other deal. Yeah, i know i don't make much sense
>>
>>16827226
Maybe we have different ideas of hard to get. "Hard to get" to me isn't impossible to get, or a horrible struggle to get, just that she's not "easy" and not just anyone could get her.
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>>16827237
>not anyone could get her
Agreed. But consecently that would mean that you shouldn't have any difficulties to get her if you life up to her standarts. So, it's just a question of how low/hifh her standarts are? If you feel like she thinks any guy is "good enough", then getting her be less of an achievement? Makes sense. But what would be standarts a girl should have? What if she gradually upped her standarts? Say her exes are rather unsightly scum but she upped her standarts after she dumped them? Maybe she wasn't aware of the standarts she CAN expect?
>>
Guys n gals, answer me
>does friendship between man and woman exist
>why does/doesn't it
>would you fuck a friend of yours
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
This is a research I'm doing and your opinion would be gold
>>
>>16827246
Hmm I think that's all very dependent on the individual. I'm sure your boyfriend values you and that's why he is with you.
>>
>>16827251
>does friendship between man and woman exist
Not entirely decided that for myself. Need further evidence
>why does/doesn't it
+Cause both are humans and can take a genuine interest in other one that doesn't invole their reproductive organs.
-hormones are strong. And if you like somebodies personality good enough to
be close friends and don't think they are hideouse, chances are you atleast subconsciousely see them as possible relationship-material

>would you fuck a friend of yours
No
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
Yes
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
+i like that guys are rather problem solving oriented and often more assertive than most girls
-i don't like how guys think they have to compensate with materialistic accomplishements
>>
>>16827251
>does friendship between man and woman exist
Ye
>why does/doesn't it
Most people don't have sexual or romantic feelings for every single member of the opposite sex. You can have a bond with someone like you have with family of the opposite sex
>would you fuck a friend of yours
My boyfriend is my best friend so maybe that's a yes?
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
I'm not sure
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
I think guys are great. The good ones are funny, down-to-earth, and make me feel safe.

Of course though there are the bad ones. Strange guys can be intimidating and scary, also more prone to rage and rash judgement.
>>
>>16827251
guy here, I speak for personal experience
>does friendship between man and woman exist
yes
>why does/doesn't it
well there are two ways 1:you simply don't like her and treat her like a dude 2:you actually feel physically attracted to her but her personality doesn't match. Let's just say that a more masculine personality in a girl to me is a total turn off whether she is good looking or not, we can be very good friends though
>would you fuck a friend of yours
yes, but I think I could deeply regret it so even if I had the chance, 90% I would say no.
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
I don't know
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
I love femininity and I hate the opposite, that's why I always stay away from women that claim to be feminists (I do support gender social equality but you do know what lots of modern days feminists actually are)
>>
>>16827251

>does friendship between man and woman exist

I'm a guy with female friends, two of them better than others.

>would you fuck a friend of yours
>would a friend of yours fuck with you

I think one of them has a thing for me, she flirts quite a bit with me from time to time, but I am not attracted to her in that way. On the other hand, I'm really crushing hard on my other best female friend and I don't think she feels the same way. I also have another female friend who probably likes me to a certain extent, but again, I am not attracted to her.

>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters

I don't like how girls talk about each-other behind their backs and are so bitchy. There's a kind of meanness and jealousy there you seldom see among men. As for what I like though, I don't really know, I don't think there's that much difference in a conversation with a woman compared with a guy other than they don't have the kind of guy teasing thing where you constantly break each-other's balls. I find all of my female friends to be really funny though (fuck anyone who says women can't be funny) and we always have great conversations. The conversations aren't really that much different to the ones I have with my guy friends.
>>
>>16827251

Nope. Simply because the ability to have desire for your opposite gender friend is there. One person will ALWAYS be the orbiter and the other will play ignorant the entire time "wow what you had feelings for me? I thought we were just good friends"

Specifically look at responses to your two questions "would you fuck a friend/would a friend fuck you"

All the people who say "i dont know " to the second fall into the one pretending to not notice their friends attraction group and the people who say "yes" to the former fall into the orbiter group.
>>
>>16827293
I'm a straight man with several gay friends - we aren't attracted to each-other at all. Why can't women/men work the same way?
>>
>>16827127
>>16827210

Thanks guys! My niece enjoyed the workout episode of Pat&Mat, and she slept to Thomas.
>>
>>16827300
>Why can't women/men work the same way?
uh, because we are different?
>>
Because in your case you are the one not attracted to your friends. You have no idea how they truly feel about you other than asking to which they could lie so they dont make things awkwars or realize that because you arent gay you are truly off the table and that changes things.
>>
>>16827305
Well, I'm pretty sure one of them isn't in to me in the slightest because he doesn't find me physically attractive. I'm not his type.
>>
>>16827251
I'm gonna post my opinion too. Guy here
>does friendship between man and woman exist
I think yes
>why does/doesn't it
+ they rarely come up with subjects like "would you fuck that girl" or "wich anime character would win that fight", things that some of my man friends talk about too much
+ they won't refuse to help just because they're 'too lazy' since I also help them
- my fem friends are really cute and/or hot, it gets difficult to control myself sometimes
- they usually aren't as loyal or trustworthy
>would you fuck a friend of yours
Definitely
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
Not sure, but probably
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
All the listed things before, plus
+ they are really kind
+ they are always fresh and clean while some of my man friends litter, fart and burp
+ they are more popular since they're girls so I've met a lot of nice people through them
- too moody and not as rational
>>
>>16827251
>>16827266
>>16827272
>>16827278
>>16827284
>>16827293
How does one even fuck a friend just like that?

Do you literally just ask out of the blue like "wanna fuck/bang/have sex?" or do you do the cliché netflix 'n' chill shit or some shit?

Yes I'm new to this and could sue some more info.
>>
>>16827313
Maybe I'm old fashioned but I don't fuck my friends. If I actually wanted to go for it, I'd ask them out on a date and try to have a relationship.
>>
>>16827317
>If I actually wanted to go for it, I'd ask them out on a date and try to have a relationship.

Isn't that like the Wizard level of all Nice guys by asking out a friend out on a date after years of friendship?
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>>16827313
>Do you literally just ask out of the blue like "wanna fuck/bang/have sex?"
If I was gay, yes. Once my gay friend asked me 'can we have sex?' sincerely, I just said 'nah I'm chill' and everything was ok. If I answered 'yes' we would fuck and no fucks would be given.
>do you do the cliché netflix 'n' chill shit or some shit?
Men don't really like that, to be fair. Or they're going to pay attention to the show or they will just be waiting for the girl to feel sexual enough.
>>
>>16827312
>would you fuck that girl?

Do guys really do this? Even with mutual female friends? Doesn't this bear the potential to be super awkward? Imagine you did that with a girl you and all of yoir male friends know and then you get into a relationship with said girl. Now you know exatly which of your friends would like to fuck your gf...
>>
>>16827320
Well, I'd be the Wizard Level of Nice Guys if I was only their friend because I wanted to fuck them. I thought we were talking about "friends" and wanting to fuck a friend, not someone you're orbiting. That's not a friend.
>>
>>16827324
Not as commonly as you might be thinking, and just a few do. One or two of my male friends are like this and I personally find annoying, but we are cloose enough to not to feel akward on those situations
And men like to know a friend find his gf attractive, and close friend's gfs are instant bonner killers
>>
Should I be concerned that my gf hangs out with her crossdressing male friend a lot? Apparently he still likes women but he looks like a limp wristed fag. She was at his house until midnight.
>>
>>16827327
>close friends gfs are instant bonerkillers

I hope so. Cause i got myself in a slightly awkward position. Two of my bf's CLOSEST friends once tried to make a move on me (before i was with my bf). Now they act kind of weird around me. I can't exactly put my finger on it out it's awkward
>>
>>16827331
They just feel akward because they think you feel the same, trust me.
>>
>>16827335
I hope that's true.
>>
I keep hearing about promiscuity in young people yet I've seen the worst case in mature people especially in post divorce phase.
My father after the divorce in his 40's went back to chase women again, he maybe had a different girl each month, is this common?
>>
>>16827347
yes.
>>
Females of /adv/, can you tell me what happened here please? What I should do?

1/2

>work in a small office
>be a quiet and private (no social media etc) person
>since I turned ~17 several attractive girls have had crushes on me (context)
>notice a cute girl from another office
>she enters almost every day to print something off
>printer is right beside me but behind me so I can't just look up and say hey
>most people print something off and grab it
>she (used to) stand there for like 20 seconds before leaving
>asks me a printer-related questions since I'm nearest
>notice she has a really cute smile
>one time the fan nearby blows a piece of paper onto my desk
>she smiles the same cute wide smile and says she mustn't have secured it properly
>say "oh, it's okay" in a neutral voice
>google her name (it's on her company's website)
>discover she likes the kind of semi-obscure music to the type I like
>discover (via linkedin) that she attended a top college and was very likely privately educated and thus wealthy
>feel intimidated as I'm from a "broken home"
>weeks go by with her appearing less frequently
>she hasn't printed much off since Christmas
>she doesn't turn up for work for like two weeks
>walk to the bathroom last Friday
>she exits one of the bathrooms and I wait for her to exit a second door so I can enter (see her through the small window)
>usually we just look at each other briefly with neutral facial expressions
>both of us smile, I rarely smile like that but it's instinctive and I say "hi how're you?" and she says "Hey"
>planned to ask her out when I pass her this week

1/2
>>
>>16827378
2/2

>be Monday
>filling up a glass of water in the busy office kitchen
>someone is at my side
>mutter "sorry" and move aside to let them reach the sink
>fill my glass and turn and see her standing there
>looks at me briefly with a blank expression as if to ask "what are you looking at?"
>she fills her glass and rushes to a meeting
>be Thursday
>haven't seen her since Monday
>listening to music with headphones
>hear her talking enthusiastically to an old guy who manages the office
>she says something and he says "it's a great day, the sun is out"
>she says in an energetic voice "oh, is it!?"
>get up and walk to fill up my glass of water
>return and she has left with her paper
>yesterday
>leave the bathroom and walk up towards my office
>she appears and stands at the head of the stairs to let me pass
>most people, including her female colleague, who is indifferent to me, usually says "thanks" or at least acknowledges me /anybody if I say "thanks" for letting me pass
>she stares down past me without expression
>I say "hi you alright?" (I realize it's spergy to say it twice)
>she doesn't react, just keeps staring past me without me with a blank expression then walks down

2/2

Did she sense I was planning on asking her out or something?

Is she bored by my non-responsiveness?

Is there literally any way I can "save" this or should I go ahead and just totally ignore her from now on?
>>
Finally going to a party tonight. Last one i went to was in November? I've never hooked up with a girl before and I plan on doing so tonight. How should I go about doing this?

I was thinking talking to the girl for a bit, inviting her to dance with me (to try to get her heated up with touching and grinding and such), then asking her to go into the other room with me or whatever.
>>
>>16827402
This question is for both girls and guys btw
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Netflix & Chill

When and how to use it?
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>>16826998
Oh my god, oh my god, it's all fucked up. That friend just straight up told her via text today. That isn't what I wanted at all. Now she's "mildly stunned and shocked and doesn't know if she likes (me) back". What the fuck do I do?

This is some fucking high school tier drama, oh my cunting christ no
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>>16827530
My god that friend is an insensitive idiot... Well, you just have to stand this one outni guess. It seems pretty clear that said girl isn't interested. Best you can do is get a gf so she knows you moved on.
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Got rejected over 50 times now.

Small city.

wat do?

Poorfag so can't move to new city.
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Theres 3 girls that I am eyeing. How do I choose to ask out?
Its a stupid question I know.
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Courting = Turnoff?
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>>16827535
I won't see her for 3 weeks. After that I will share a table with her 2 days a week, and we also live on the same dorm floor. What the fuck am I going to do? I haven't spoken to her via text at all, I don't think i will, she'll need a lot of time.

I literally want to jump off a cliff now, this is fucking horrible. Ughhhhh...
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>>16826860

its actually completely the opposite, women value men higher when men play hard to get

women playing hard to get actually frustrates men
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girl here. will learning a new language help me attract guys?
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>>16827599
Yup. Learn French or Italian. They have the best looking guys (lel).
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>>16827572
Extended courting is. Trying to warm up a boy or girl in your social circle over the course of a couple instances is fine.
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Why don't girls communicate problems in relationships? You know the meme: When you ask her if something's wrong, and she says nothing, but she continues acting distant.
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>>16827572
>>16827615
Courting = Dating overall?

or is Dating = Potential BF/GF to live your life with with snuggles, sharing & caring, netflix, sex, etc?

And then Courting = Scanning for possible Husband/Wife?

Not a high believer in marriage to be honest, hell I even know a couple who took over 20 years to get married.
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>>16827636
Dating is building that lifestyle of snuggles and Netflix piece by piece. Courting is trying to convince someone to take the risk in starting that with you. It's a very low key thing since the "risk" is also pretty insignificant, enough so that people routinely jump in without the courtship being necessary.
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>>16827402
bump
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>>16826347
I was like this when I was married.

>Would sit there on the computer and get told what small chores to do, and usually had to be asked multiple times. Sometimes I would just be absent minded and forget, and she would just end up doing it (and every other bit of housework) anyway. She was a bit of a neat freak, but then I was a bit of a slob. If she had put her foot down and drew the line, given an ultimatum it might have prompted me to look at my lack of motivation and change... But.. It was easy for me to take it all for granted cause she was always picking up after me. I was pretty much living like I was with my parents. Mum would do everything. Not that I'm saying it's her fault.. But I could have done with some hard lessons from her then. We split up on mutual terms and she left to go live with/around her family. Not because of my laziness. Other complex reasons.
>I was living alone in the same place for two years and was pretty much the same slob. Like not really really bad.. I've seen worse.. But I'd do the dishes once a week and vacuumed/mopped maybe once every few months.
>It wasn't until I rented the second room out to a woman that things started to change for me. This woman had zero domestication skills. Didn't know how to fry an egg without having to wrestle it out of the pan, literally couldn't fit the toilet roll on the holder, didn't know how to put together and pull apart the vacuum cleaner for storage nor how to empty it when it got full (it's a Dyson, it's meant to be easy right!). Every time it was her turn to cook dinner she would fuck up something basic. Pasta and rice overcooked. It tells you how long to boil it for on the pack. >Most times she would end up burning the toast as well. Ok.. Once I understand, but then you get he hang of the toaster settings right? Couldn't wash dishes without leaving greasy fingerprints on the glasses. Every time I would point it out to her it would get thrown back in my face.

Cont.
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>>16827684
>She'd say I didn't rinse the glasses properly. She used to work in a restaurant so she knows how to wash dishes. It's the new type of dishwashing sponge.. It's not a good design.
Basically she was worse than me. I never threw back dumb answers at my wife. And I knew how to do all those things above.
>So.. Eventually I stopped telling her all together and just doing it myself. I'd re wash the dishes. I'd learnt to cook decent dinners and did it much more often than her. Got into the habit of picking up after myself, and sometimes after her too. So it's not just men that a pre terrible at being domesticated.. But women can be too. Not saying she was complete shit. Sometimes she'd bring my laundry in. And she always paid the rent on time.
>It came to the point where she was holding me back in terms of how good the space could look. I had moved all my clutter into my bedroom when she moved in. But over two years a lot of her clutter took up space in the living room. Not exactly the kind of place I'd want to bring a prospective partner home to. It definitely wasn't indicative of maturity.
So she moved out 3 weeks ago. And I've been super productive in transforming the place and keeping it clear and clean and design wise it's actually starting to take shape to look awesome.
>Every time I clean a portion of the place and see how it looks, it motivates me to want to work on another area tomorrow. Etc.

So I've really fucking changed, due to reasons ironic and necessary. I was treated to a living partner who was worse than I was with my wife. Karma. So I definitely learnt my lesson. My ex is living over the other side of the world and has remarried, but I'd still like to cook a meal for her some day and maybe do her laundry to at least give her some solace that I wasn't a lost cause and am a better person. Restore some balance and harmony to the universe.
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There is this girl I know has some interest in me, but I can't start a conversation passed "Hey"

She is incredibly shy, and I have a small stutter. Im afraid of making her feel nervous if I try to talk to her out of the blue. I was thinking of asking for her number, as I think she is one of those people who are incredibly quiet in person, but talk non stop via text. Should I try to immediately get her number, or should I try to get to know her more first?
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>>16826764
5' 5" male here.
The last three women I've had relationships with were all taller than me and they all fell in love with me. One was 6' 9" AND would always wear heels. Her comment once while walking through a busy part of town was 'everyone is looking at you as if you're a millionaire'.
I'm not a millionaire, but in my good moments I project status and confidence by expressing the things I'm passionate about.
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>>16827705
get that number senpai. since it seems like both of you are not good at talking in person.
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>>16826899
Could it be possible that she is waiting for you to tell her you love her?
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Girls, do you like it when a guy talks about something the guy knows a lot about?
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>>16827302
If you stop thinking of someone in terms of their gender then most of the sociologically constructed differences between genders disappears and you only have their personality to go off.

Yes, men and women can be friends, but asking a question that way implies doubt that they can.

Better to ask 'Is it possible for two physically/culturally/psychologically different people to be friends?'
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>>16827402
>and I plan on doing so tonight.
Don't plan shit like that... Go with the expectation of having fun and meeting interesting people.
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>>16827883
i always have fun and meet new people, plus i don't have any experience aka i haven't had my first kiss yet.
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>>16826860
Because that's a concept often repeated. People get a lot of stupid ideas hammered into their head. For instance, I used to think you should try to develop a friendship before asking someone out. I know that's a particularly stupid idea now that I'm out of highschool.
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>>16827037
Sounds like you should move. I like my state.

>No duty to retreat
>Constitutional right to bear arms
>No stupid laws pushed by soccer moms
>One of the lowest murder rates in the country

>>16827251
>does friendship between man and woman exist
Yes, but it tends to come with qualifiers. Easier to keep things platonic when you arent interested in them obviously.
>why does/doesn't it
Shared interests, ability to just chat?
>would you fuck a friend of yours
Probably not. I'm not comfortable with casual sex and I doubt things would stay simple for long.
>would a friend of yours fuck with you
Dunno
>what do you like and doesnt like about the opposite gender besides sexual matters
I like the more nurturing nature of women. On the flipside, I dislike how many of them prioritize feelings over facts. Tumblr in general is a good example.
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>>16827780

She knows I really like her, like a lot. she's told me that she likes me, but doesn't want to commit to a relationship with anyone because of things going on in her life. So we are just close friends

I do love her. But I think it would be strange for me to tell her that..
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How many times do I ask a girl out before dropping it and moving on? Currently I go for two tries.
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>>16828306

One.

If she's really "busy" then she'll give you an alternate time that works for her. Otherwise she's not seriously interested.
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>>16825942
Will a gf actively provoke fights to see it you will protect her?
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so lasses, my only 2 female friends ended up being massive vermin scum of the earth.
how do i deal it this?
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>>16828319
Makes sense now that I think about it. Thanks.
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>>16828324

That would be pretty fucked up of her to do that.
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>>16828324
smack some sense into her sorry head
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Am I a dick for being upset about this girls?
>Valentines Day
>take wife out for nice dinner
>surprise her with very nice jewellery as a gift
>she didn't get me anything
>pay for dinner
>go home after dinner
>no sex
>no bj
>go to sleep

I kinda feel like I should have gotten something as a thank you? I am sure I could have asked her to give me a bj and she would have, but thats just kinda lame. I want her to want to do it.

Girls, do you enjoy giving head? or is it just a chore?
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How can you tell if you really love someone or if you're just lonely?
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>>16827347
I'm in my 40's and I've always been a prude but now I'm a complete whore so go figure.
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So this girl is mad at me.

We are in the same class and last week she gave me an object she made in class for me to keep until next time because she could not get it home.

Fast forward to a week later. I forgot about it, she never reminded me and i decided to not go to the next class because i had to work on other important things.
So she realized where the object was and asked me to leave my house, get on the bus and bring it to her. When i refused on the ground that i have work and cannot leave she got mad that she had to come and get it herself at lunch break.

So am i the jerk in this? Should i apologize ?
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>>16827828
In a sharing, conversational way hell yeah.

>>16827631
Can't answer for all but at least for some it's to do with feeling like talking to a brick wall &/or anticipating that whatever concerns are brought up will be met with anger, indifference, mocking, dismissal, etc.

>>16827547
Which one would you still be thinking about months from now if you were to ask one of the other two?

>>16827538
...get gud? Not sure. Why are you being rejected?

>>16827378
She was friendly to you and sought you out and you stonewalled her for what, weeks? Months? We can't tell what's going on your head/heart if you don't ever let any of it rise to the surface and be seen. My best guess is she probably thinks you just don't like her.

>>16827330
Do you trust your girlfriend?

>>16827072
Depends entirely on the illness. Some, sure no prob. Others, fuck no never.

>>16826922
Aim to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Make that your ongoing goal, and don't give yourself too much shit about not being there yet. You're still working toward it? You're still pushing yourself out of your various comfort zones and making some headway, even if it's not much sometimes? Then you're good. End of story. Relax and love yourself.

>>16826891
What makes you think her mind is even made up already? She's not totally just over it, obviously, or she wouldn't have gotten back in touch. She's probably interested in finding out whether she'd still be interested or not.

>>16826819
You are panicking. You're doing it right now and you've been doing it with her. Chill. Breathe. Stop overthinking shit, stop reading so far into every little thing. Just follow your first instincts and then go with the flow after that. Enjoy the moment. (hint; if you're worrying about the immediate/recent past or future, you aren't focused on the present moment)
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>>16828368
I have some questions before I pass judgement:
>does she work, or is she a housewife?
>was she grateful for the date or did she act entitled to it?
>how is her sex drive normally?
>how late did you two stay out?

I personally enjoy giving head because it's like a sexual power trip for me, but of course each individual will have different preferences and kinks.
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>>16828383
Yes, you're obviously the jerk. You promised to do something then didn't because you forgot.

Apologise, and next time don't agree to do something unless you're going to do it.
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Girls, what is the appeal of casual sex? In my experience men tend to crave sex more but I hear more about girls sleeping around than guys. If you're not a very horny person why do it?
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>>16828383
You shouldn't have agreed to be responsible for the object and then not shown up with no warning. She should've made more reliable arrangements for the object as it is her object and thus ultimately her responsibility. So you're both somewhat in the wrong. But hey that's life, shit happens. What's more important to you - your pride or your friendship with her?

>>16828373
Would you still miss them if somebody else were to come along and offer companionship?

>>16828368
This par for the course with you guys usually? Read up on the five love languages. The exchange of gifts, doing stuff with each other, and physical affection are all legit "languages" but relevance and sincerity count for whole hell of a lot. Women's libidos tend to be tied in a lot more closely with the state of the overall relationship than y'all. When it's hard to feel the love and the connection and whatnot, it's hard to get horny. Depression and stress can make it harder to feel too though so it may not be you at all. Does she enjoy herself during sex? That's another factor to take into consideration.

>>16828341
Bid them bitches good riddance and find you some new gals to hang out with. Get wise, not wary. Letting yourself get jaded only ever ends up fucking you in the long run. Short run too for that matter.

>>16828324
The good ones won't. Call her out on it. Nicely, don't be a dick about it, but do be matter of fact. If that ends up with you two in an honest conversation, congratulations, future problems of any sort should be fairly easy to resolve. If she denies it, acts butthurt, &/or pitches a fit...er, how good are her other qualities? If she either acquiesces shockingly easily without her smile ever cracking or breaks down and melts into a self-loathing puddle all over you, and then keeps doing the same exact shit as if the conversation never happened, GTFO. Run the hell away and don't look back.
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>>16828411
She works by choice
Seemed somewhat grateful for dinner, she is kind of entitled and selfish most of the time
Her sex drive is shit
We got home at 8

I tried to reply like 5 times but my PC is being a dick
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>>16827607
as someone who's not an english speaker, yeah, speaking with a girl who learn my own langage is great and definitly charming
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Question for girls:

When I guy comes a 4chan seeking advice on how to become more attractive to females, the usual response is "get involved in hobbies".

Do girls really care about a guy's hobbies? It seems to me that first impressions are what matters the most, not what a guy does when he's alone.
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>>16828592
>This par for the course with you guys usually? Read up on the five love languages. The exchange of gifts, doing stuff with each other, and physical affection are all legit "languages" but relevance and sincerity count for whole hell of a lot. Women's libidos tend to be tied in a lot more closely with the state of the overall relationship than y'all. When it's hard to feel the love and the connection and whatnot, it's hard to get horny. Depression and stress can make it harder to feel too though so it may not be you at all. Does she enjoy herself during sex? That's another factor to take into consideration.

I do everything I can for her, I initiate all the communication, and always think of her whenever I make a decision. We hang out together, do fun things and laugh.. but she never wants the fuck. We have both always been depressed to a degree, but we used to get intimate multiple times a week, now I'm lucky if it's once a month.
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>>16826075
Send her a memo
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>>16828592
>Would you still miss them if somebody else were to come along and offer companionship?

Definitely.
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>>16828605
It matters.
The one thing a person needs to do (at least for me) is play an instrument, then he's a contender.

We have a checklist in our head.
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>>16828605
>when he's alone.
More on that last bit in a sec but yes it matters because it makes for a better first impression. Connect the dots. Since you're choosing to spend your free time doing something, you care about whatever that thing is. Since you care to devote time to it, you'll also devote energy etc to personally improving your own approach to it and making the experience optimal. In doing so you'll be exercising creativity and formulating strategies. And so on and so forth. The qualities that speaks to, which you'll either develop in the process or already have going in, will become more readily apparent in the way you carry yourself and interact with the world around you. You'll make for more interesting conversation. So on, so forth.
There's a social aspect to it too however. A good model that I actually picked up here is to ideally have 4 hobbies: indoors/alone, indoors/social, outdoors/alone, & outdoors/social. Bitches be social, yo. Romantic relationships, being that they require at least 2 participants by default, be social as well.

>>16828629
How old and how long together? Have kids? Did the sex taper off or decrease abruptly?

>>16828647
Got your answer then ;)
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How do women view homosex.
Like for men gay guys is horrible but gay women is meh to almost good if they arent trying to be manly.
I was talking to this girl and she said it was a double standard but I dont really feel it is.
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>>16828629
>How old and how long together? Have kids? Did the sex taper off or decrease abruptly?

I'm 23 and she is 21, together 4 years. No kids.
Understandably over the first 3 years it slowly tapered a bit, but in the last year there was a crazy sharp drop.

I've talked to her about how it's important to me, how it makes me feel wanted and loved, and she just seems to think it's the "only thing" I care about. Which is bullshit, If all I wanted was sex I wouldn't have got married. I'm not wrong in thinking it's an important part of a marriage right?
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>>16828768
Does she enjoy it? Does she orgasm every time?
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>>16828774
Hell yeah, I used to give her multiple orgasms and all that good stuff. She never seemed disappointed with it. I love going down on her, and she enjoys it I can tell, but she never wants me to do it.

shes so fucking weird, I swear I'm ready to just give up, it feels like I'm the only one trying to make it work.
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Update from this convo>>16826846

The girl I was asking about found out I was going through a hard time today, and has just been flooding me with love and support. so I guess I'm doing the right thing and haven't been causing any issues

Thanks guys
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>>16828783
New to the discussion but honestly have you guys tried couples counseling? It sounds like both of you have problems that need to be thrown out into the open. For instance she sounds a bit insecure when you said she thinks all you care about is sex.
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>>16828768
What else has gone down in the past year? Like significant life events type stuff.

How often do you show her physical affection outside of it being a means to turn into sex? Cuddling, kissing, hugging, holding hands, massages, putting your arm around her, etc.

What do you quarrel over? Knock down drag out fights too if those happen but I'm mostly referring to the little minor quibbles about trivial crap in the day-to-day.
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Girls: How long would you wait before speaking to an ex-boyfriend again, assuming the breakup wasn't due to violence, abuse, etc.?

My girlfriend broke up with me over a month ago due to my depression and co-dependence problems. There wasn't a fight, just a conversation where she said, "You need serious help and I cannot give it to you. Please don't kill yourself. Goodbye." I've been trying to respect her by keeping contact to a bare-minimum, but it feels cruel to me that more than a month out, if I text "How's your week been?" the only thing I get back is "fine"
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>>16828800
We have not tried counseling, I never thought we would get to a point where it was needed, but it might be a good idea.
>>16828803
>What else has gone down in the past year? Like significant life events type stuff.
A few months ago (sex had already gone out the window) I was away overnight for work, and she went over to a male co-workers house without telling me to "hang out" and drink. I got really mad when I found out, but apparently she didn't sleep with him and I do believe her. Still pretty pissed about it though, she fucked up our trust.

>How often do you show her physical affection outside of it being a means to turn into sex? Cuddling, kissing, hugging, holding hands, massages, putting your arm around her, etc.
I make a point to give her lots of non-sexual physical attention, maybe to much even.

>What do you quarrel over? Knock down drag out fights too if those happen but I'm mostly referring to the little minor quibbles about trivial crap in the day-to-day.
We used to rarely fight about small shit, but now it's a bit more often, stupid things like chores, money, etc.

I have been paying all the bills our whole relationship, I am just now making her start to pay half, I didn't want it to be this way but she keeps spending her money on stupid shit while I pay for us to live.
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>>16828823
I have the same problem man. The truth is they won't come back. Don't believe any of the lies. It is done. Guys like you and I absolutely need to move on. You still care about her right? Well she does not care about you. Otherwise she would have talked to you. Just remember that this is not the girl you fell for, because the girl you fell for would not treat you this way.
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>>16828799
That makes me very happy for you, anon
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if a boy mentions that he's texting a lot of girls is that just a weird boy way to trying to make themselves sound cool or is it him being oblivious to my interest..because i'm hurt by it..
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Is it possible to be in a relationship and never fight? I mean, if something is bothering you, just calmly state it and find a solution together. This can't be that hard, right?
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>>16828887
He tries to look more valueable. In a very immature way. You sure you want to put up with games like that? If i'd be you i'd walk away quickly
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>>16828888
Yes that's exactly how my boyfriend and I are.
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>>16828894
Very relieving to know that it's actually possible.
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>>16828888
Of course.
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>>16828879

Thanks anon :)
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>>16828896
And I'm glad there are people who actually want that. I think everyone should strive for that in any adult relationship. Disagreements are inevitable, but fighting isn't normal or good. I don't understand why people seem to think it is.
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Is it normal for girls to go full french kiss on the second date? Because wew lads, I wasn't even trying.
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>>16828799
Almost replied to one of yours:) The convo that just started with a
>"."
and ended without her saying what was up? The impression I got is she had something on her mind and wanted to talk to you about whatever it was, then figured you were in a really good mood after the youtube link and (likely subconsciously for this part) wouldn't be able to provide her usual enthusiasm, and decided not to bother you with whatever had been on her mind. If my assessment or whatever feels off to you, then trash it. Just offering a possible insight in case it fits and is helpful to understand it. Go with your gut. You two have a good rapport and she trusts you. That much I'm certain about.

>>16828823
Depends why we broke up. Looking at my own personsal history, it's a good few months and not with either side looking to get back together when we do get back in touch. In your case, I'd say not until you actually did get the help you seemed to need. A month isn't long enough to get depression and codependency sorted.
How about you? Do you agree that you need help? Do you feel it was a fair call?

>>16828827
Ok yup. Seconding the fuck out of the couple's counseling suggestion. She's not happy, and for whatever reason she's not saying why. Or perhaps she is and you're not hearing it. Either way, this would be better left to a professional who can talk to both of you and help y'all figure shit out. Think she'd be open to the idea?

>>16828887
Could be either but regardless speak up and tell him what's on your mind. Guys can be derps about picking up on hints that seem blatantly obvious to us and, like the other anon pointed out, they can be prone to crazy game playing bullshit just like we can. If it's important to you and you want to know, find out.

>>16828888
It's not impossible but it's not common either. Takes courage and maturity to be honest and calm, especially when emotions are running high. Some just "get it", for others it's hard won, but it's definitely possible.
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>>16828916
Well, have you two always been that way or is it something you learned alomg the way? I just got into a new relationship (3 months in now), and i know that i never learned to "fight fair" (parents had a really abusive relationship). So i started to look into proper communication and it changed everything. Now i really hope i can also make this work and not just in theory.
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>>16828945
We've always been this way throughout all of our friendship and relationship. But it absolutely takes conscious effort from both of us, so you are definitely thinking the right way.
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>>16828960
Do you have any piece of advice that you think is very important to achieve a peaceful relationship?
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>>16828940
>Almost replied to one of yours:) The convo that just started with a "."

Thanks friend. Your insight could be right. When she found out I didn't pass my exam she has been endlessly trying to get me to smile. if she finds out I'm not in a good mood. She instantly tries to fix it. So maybe you're right and she just didn't want me to feel down because of whatever was bothering her
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>>16828940
>Ok yup. Seconding the fuck out of the couple's counseling suggestion. She's not happy, and for whatever reason she's not saying why. Or perhaps she is and you're not hearing it. Either way, this would be better left to a professional who can talk to both of you and help y'all figure shit out. Think she'd be open to the idea?

I know she isn't happy, she tells me she doesn't know why though, or what she wants. No ambition or drive. She won't let me help her. I would do anything for her, for us to be happy, I love her so much. She just won't let me help.

But she says it's not my responsibility to make her happy, and I understand that, but only to a point. I am her husband, I should be here to help her be happy.

I doubt she would be into the idea of counseling.

Really just trying to back off for now and see if she steps up and attempts to make things better, I am done trying.
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How do I motorboat a girl?
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>>16829044
BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRRRRBRBR

Hope that helps.
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>>16829003
Did you grow fat and ugly during your relationship? Did anything change from the day you met her.
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>>16829003
Did you grow fat and ugly during your relationship? Did anything change from the day you met her.

If anything we are both hotter, only thing that has changed is we now exercise instead of doing drugs

It makes less and less sense the more I explain it
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>>16829048
It just seems so silly. Am I supposed to be making that horse snorting noise with my mouth, or is it more like an angry Richard Nixon imitation?
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>>16828975
Hmm I think you've got the most important things down which are definitely desire and effort.

Some other tips I like to remember are:
-base your relationship on the pillars of respect, communication, honesty, openness, and trust.

-talk about EVERYTHING. (Part of openness). Don't let problems fester or bottle them up.

-when in a discussion, avoid absolutes (never, always, every time, constantly, ect.)

-remember the four enemies of constructive discussion are blaming, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.

-never raise your voice or insult your partner (part of respect).

-wait until you are calm enough to have a mature discussion. Tell your partner that you need some time and wait until you aren't overwhelmed with emotion. If a discussion turns into a argument, stop it right there and both take a break then start over.

-use "I feel" statements to express yourself. For example, "I missed you and felt neglected when you went out with your friends for the last two weekends" is much better than "you always go out with your friends and not me!"

-never go to bed angry. Make sure you genuinely tell your partner you love them before you say goodnight.

I'm sure there's much more but that's what I can think of off the top of my head.
>>
>>16829064
Why do you want to do it, though? That's just silly.
>>
>>16829090
I don't know. I was thinking that maybe I had the wrong conception of it, like there was something I wasn't getting about it, and that if someone explained how to do it, things would click. But no, it's just BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR-ing some girl's tits, and I will never understand it.
>>
>>16829108
It's just something silly and fun to do.
>>
I am really bad at interpreting social signals since I am retarded (I might have mentally scarred a delicate woman by coming on too strongly) so I am going to lay out what's going on and try and get some answers.

>crush on gril in social group
>we flirt a little but come on
>she's at least 8/10 and very qt
>I am 0/10 legit
>she starts dating a mexican
>drops out of social group
>forget about her completely until

>>>>>>suddenly she friends me on fb
>>>>>>>>>>>>not only is she pregnant, but also single
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>her mother just freinded me
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I have not said more than 10 words to her mother


Now they are not gonna try and jew me, right? I'm just a paranoid autist, RIGHT?
>>
>>16829436
Try typing that again normally and I might bother reading it
>>
>>16829447
greentexting is normal for 4chan. are you on the right website?
>>
>>16829452
>that clusterfuck
>normal on 4chan
>>
im at work. should i get something to eat from port of subs or this fucking bomb ass taqueria
>>
>>16828976
Ok. So I just got back and read through all your posts. I'd say not to worry about coming off as clingy, and keep doing what you've been doing. There's a diff between encouraging and being pushy, and you'll know the line if you're starting to cross it. Being supportive and showing you care isn't clingy unless you're massively overdoing it or simply not backing off when firmly asked to do so. Again, disregard this if it sounds off to you, but a little reassurance can go a long way and could be very appreciated when she lets a tentative "." moment slip through if the only thing stopping her from continuing is fearing that you'd find it burdensome.

I tend towards reticence myself when it comes to my own personal feelings about my own personal crap. My dude straight up pokes fun at me and tells me to stop being a dumbass. Now not every girl is gonna go for that, lol clearly, but for us it works a charm; he cuts the tension by making me laugh and reality checks me into getting my head back on all in one fell swoop. One of my best friends pesters the living shit out of me when we touch upon something in conversation and he can tell I'm not talking; if I get bitchy, he cheerfully out-bitches me. Another good friend actually kept pushing once with the sole intention of getting me annoyed enough to say aloud some things I'd been basically hiding from myself.

Sounds sort of awful put that way, right? I love them all dearly for it, appreciate the care behind it, and do my utmost to reciprocate. Pointed address peppered with inappropriate humour is what seems to do the trick with me. I can't tell you what would work with her, but I don't need to. You two know how to read each other just fine too from what I gather. Whether you want to encourage her to open up or you decide it'd be against your better judgment,
>I guess I'm doing the right thing and haven't been causing any issues
I wouldn't doubt that ^ for even a second.
>>
>>16829447
fuck off shithead

>>16829436
seems really shady but at least your not retarded enough to realize something might be off. proceed with caution and dont get to attached if you end up talking. dont acknowledge the fuckling. ever
>>
>>16829464
please pardon me for triggering your autism.

I knew this young woman, she was a part of a social group I am in. We hung out sometimes at events and I found her to be very attractive. I am not bad at hiding things like crushes so she probably picked up on it. Eventually she started dating a mexican soldier and soon after stopped coming to events. I put her out of my mind until about a month back when she added me on facebook. I poked around her profile and learned that not only did her bf knock her up, but also bailed. I had a hearty kek but tonight her mother also added me. I do not know her mother at all really, so why add me? My paranoia is kicking in hardcore and I get the feeling they are plotting to try and lure me in with single mom pussy to leach away my money.


I am just being stupid, right? I mean that stuff only happens in /pol/ fantasy, right?

>>16829469
>>>>>>>>>he didn't pack food
port of subs. but stop by the taqiyya and tell them to build a wall
>>
>Went on 2 dates with girl
>Having a change of heart about her because of her lifestyle choices (smokes weed and cigs)
>Want to end it with her but don't know how to go about doing it

I'm used to girls doing this to me, guess it's opposite day for me. I was thinking about not texting her whatsoever and if she texts me to be very brief, etc
>>
>>16829519
why not just tell her you think weed and cigs are gross for women and she should stop?

m-maybe she just needs a big, strong man to help her quit
>>
>>16829003
You mentioned she works... Job to fill her days and earn a paycheck or career she's passionate about and wants to see advance? What does she do with her time that feels to her like she's making a meaningful difference? Maybe it's just as simple (using the word lightly here) as her feeling generally unfulfilled in life.

Hey, the frustration is understandable. If she does start stepping up and making an effort, just be sure to get back up and match it. Or at the very least just back it, if that's the better way to go. Otherwise it turns into a weird tug of war power struggle thing that just sets you both even further from away from making any real progress.

And even if she wouldn't want to go, you might consider going yourself. Be worth it if you get something out of it, you know?
>>
>>16829519
Don't. Just be up front with her. Tell her something along the lines of
>Hey, I've had a lot of fun with you these last couple dates, but I'm not a huge fan of smoking, and I don't want to continue dating. It's nothing against you personally, smoking is just something I feel strongly about.
You've been on two dates. Unless she's fucking psycho, she's not going to be terribly upset. The worst she might be is bummed out.
>>
>>16829086
10/10, quality post.

>>16829436
Who knows? If they start trying to jew you, you just start no longer responding. I wouldn't worry about it.
>>
>>16829534
She works in a grocery store and browses the Internet while not at work. I'm sure her life feels really meaningless. We rarely get days off together but when we do I try and make a point of getting out of the house and doing something. I've tried to motivate her to progress in life, ie get a new job or go to school, get her drivers license. Whenever I try and motivate her just just gets mad at me and tells me to fuck off basically, when these are all things she agreed to doing in the first place. I can see how it might be annoying but I am just genuinely trying to help her be happy.

I never thought about going to see someone by my self I might. I don't want to sound like a douche but I really don't think I'm the problem
>>
I need help. I'm about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend pretty soon but I'm afraid my dick is too small. Its like 4.5 inches, does this shit matter? Are there any good techniques I can do to compensate? Shes a small girl though like 5'0", not sure if that helps.
>>
>>16829854
Small girls usually like big dicks
>>
File: jnj+.jpg (93 KB, 969x1452) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
jnj+.jpg
93 KB, 969x1452
>told a male friend i felt like shrek and that i will never have a fiona.
>he tells me those are lies and that he had a crush for me when we meet because i have something and that when he tried to tell me he fucked up (this last part happened a few mere weeks ago and he called me bird poop, i said i was "offended" as a joke and he actuallly just dissapeared for 3 days and came back saying he is an asshole etc)
>i asked him if the still does (i fucked and i said "you don`t anymore right?" because i`m impulsive and scared)
>he says he does not but he still thinks i`m pretty and special but he would probably fail and he does not feel that way anymore
>i actually happen to like this guy
> fuck my life
>thanks shrek
>>
Would dressing up as a stereotypical Russian make a good photo for an online dating profile?

Here's what I was thinking:
>fuzzy ushanka with the commie symbol on my head
>either a thick military winter jacket or an Adidas tracksuit
>shirt or tank top with blue & white horizontal stripes
>vodka bottle in one hand
>Mosin-Nagant in the other hand
>>
Girls, how important is it that a man looks like he's the most respected in the room? I'm sort of the friend who gets shit on all the time, regardless of which group of friends I hang out with. I've had all sorts of people change their tone and body language based on people around me. I'm sick and tired of it, because it almost seems like if you're not alone and /or not the centre of attention and worship, you're given a pretty harsh sideline.
>>
>>16829064
You gotta go Richard Nixon in the breast so you can get her wet and call it Watergate
>>
>>16829981
As a dude, I'm going to tell you that you shouldn't take that kind of treatment from your buddies. Even if that doesn't get in the way of getting a girl to like you (but it probably will), you still need to stand up for yourself if you're being shit on. Contrary to popular conception, a group of guys doesn't have to be a chain of alphaness, with one person at the bottom. There can be an alpha, and a level of mutual respect among dudes.

My honest advice to you is to banter with them. Don't be afraid to make quips at them. You don't need to be spiteful or hateful, but if they're going to shit on you, let them know you can dish it out too. If they get upset, or try to make you feel like you're stepping out of line for doing exactly what they do, then that's not a group of friends you need to hang out with.
>>
>>16826838
yes
>>16826860
it's not attractive. at best, it's an inconvenience, at worst it's a turn-off to have to play games to get a date
>>16826971
you can fap without porn, but watching porn without fapping is odd
>>16827072
doubtful, i want partners that have their shit together (coming from a guy with depression)
>>16827251
>only if you are both hitting someone more attractive than you two are
>at some level, there will be sexual tension
>probably
>probably not, idk
>the same traits that I like in my male friends
>>16827572
courting is the most fedora-tier dating/relationship you can have. just fucking date or be bf/gf like the rest of society
>>16828373
wank/flick it first
>>16828888
>quads check'd
possible, not probable
>>
>>16830007
ALL MEN HEED THESE WORDS
>>
>>16830007
Thanks, Anon. I'll do that from now on
>>
>>16830011
>My honest advice to you is to banter with them. Don't be afraid to make quips at them. You don't need to be spiteful or hateful, but if they're going to shit on you, let them know you can dish it out too. If they get upset, or try to make you feel like you're stepping out of line for doing exactly what they do, then that's not a group of friends you need to hang out with.

I mean, I do this, however I still get shit on the most. Part of it may be how I respond to them, but I couldn't say for sure.
>>
Girls

Why can't I eat infront of you? I literally can't eat infront of girls I like. Even if I try. I feel as if there is like a wall in the back of my throat. I can take small bites of food, and chew but when I try to swallow I have to FORCE it down. I almost threw up the last time I got lunch with a girl because of trying to force down food. It's humiliating and embarassing. I'm actually going to be spending a week with a girl on a trip in a few months, and holy fuck I'm worried about the eating thing. Last time I was with this girl we went out and got dinner. And the food looked and tasted so good! But I literally could not swallow it. It actually feels like my throat completely seals. I can chew and chew, but it doesn't feel like there is even a area for it to go if I try to swallow. It's like I'm forcing it to go down my throat.

Help
>>
>>16828389
>In a sharing, conversational way hell yeah.

Really?
>>
>>16828389
>Why are you being rejected?

Some are taken, some aren't interested, bad timing, extreme difficulty to learn from mistakes since I have trouble understanding things immediately.
>>
>>16830017
>courting is the most fedora-tier dating/relationship you can have.

I still don't get courting, like at all.

Hell, I might even do accidentical courting without my dick and brain realizing it.
>>
>>16828917
Normal: yes
Standard: no
Conclusion: you did well
>>
>>16830260
can you drink? do you trip up and umble while talking? don't forget to breathe normally, you often breathe too fast in a state of excitement and basically put yourself into mild hyperventilation. if you can drink and you're breathing normally and talking slower and less, then maybe try tricking yourself into confusing drinking and eating, try ignoring the fact that it's food and maybe even take a mental pride in being able to eat to bravado yourself out of the panic in your throat
>>
>>16828887
Surely he's trying to seem valuable, but it might be both
>>
girls: what am i supposed to talk to you about? you're never particularly good at melee. you usually don't know what multishining is, or how impressive it is that i can do 30 with fox and 50 with falco. if i can't share my sick shieldbreak gfys with you, what can i share with you?
>>
>>16830326

Yes I can drink. But it's hard even to try to swallow a little nibble of food. I tore a small piece of deli ham off my sandwich and chewed it, but when I tried to swallow I forced it down and apperently made a really weird expression on my face and she said "are you ok??"

I feel relaxed and comfortable around her. But for some reason, I just can't eat!!!! It's driving me fucking nuts
>>
>>16830334
Do you have any interests outside of competitive smash bros?
>>
>>16830396
shitposting & artificial intelligence
>>
>>16830396
>>16830406
oh, and i forgot to add self loathing
>>
>girl in my class
>I have little contact with her even though we have a good friend in common
>talk as much to her as to anyone else, which is very little. Sometimes we don't talk for days on end
>we never did anything outside of school
>I have a little crush and decide to make an effort and try to open up and get to know her better despite how closed up I am
>Talk to her more often for a few days, try to be nicer and less closed up, ask her out, get an evasive answer ala "I don't know we'll see when we get to that day" and nothing happens, she just goes home
>go back to how I used to behave, which is how I behave with everyone
>she completely disappears from my thoughts. I think about her as much as I think about everyone else in class

Yesterday she came complaining that I'm ignoring her, avoiding her, and that we're friends so she doesn't get it. I explained that I just behave and think about her just like I do with other classmates : which is barely, I have other things in mind. As for being friends, I have two friends and that' sbecause I'm close to them.

We did not do or share anything that justifies for us to be more than mere "pals" maybe. Not friends. Way I told her this is : other "pals" in my class I can have a little chat with and then nothing for days and nobody complains because we're all doing other things. Same with her.

Anyway so what am I supposed to do in that situation? Pretend to be friends with her even though I just don't feel that connection? Continue to do things how I usually do them?

Also she's convinced I am doing this because my crush wasn't reciprocal but I actually just moved on right away and this whole drama is a bit of surprise considering I completely forgot about her.
>>
what kind of woman would want to be with a signal dad?
is that a turn on/off?
what should i do to attract a good WOMAN who would want that type of life?

I am 35 M, waited 35yr. to find a woman who i would want to mother my child. we got pregnant, 4weeks later. "I still love my ex" she say's. she's with him now. that's fine. can't fight love. but i still want to be the best dad i can be. got a tarot reading. said "i'm a graceful simple man" but must look to a mother figure partner to help me be the dad i want to be.....help?
>>
>>16829852
I hear ya, and don't worry you don't sound like a douche. Going to see a couples counselor by yourself could prove helpful with the
>Whenever I try and motivate her just just gets mad at me and tells me to fuck off basically, when these are all things she agreed to doing in the first place. I can see how it might be annoying but I am just genuinely trying to help her be happy.
part. Frankly I don't know what to tell you to try doing at this point, other than seek help from a professional who deals with this sort of thing day in and day out. They *will* have ideas and suggestions of what to do and, more importantly, can offer feedback and help you reassess as needed on an ongoing basis. Not to mention, of course, making sure this indeed is the underlying problem. I wish I could leave ya with something a bit more immediately useful, but that is by far and away the best recommendation I could hope to offer you. Schedule appointments for days off when she'll be working and give it a shot and be open to what they tell you.
Whatever you end up doing, good luck to you both.

>>16829854
Your size is fine.

>>16829932
>nevermind
>totally not shrek
>shrek is big and green and gives no fucks
>not a wuss who acts nervous because he has a crush on you
>i am that wuss
>"offended" was me trying to make a joke back
>hey here's an idea
>remember how you had a crush on me
>let's see how that goes
>also im going to start laying off the disney and /r9k/
>that shit has started rotting my brain
>(maybe don't say that last part out loud)
>(maybe reword all the rest of it so it goes over well when you tell it to him)
>(yes, actually tell it to him)
Fuckin shrek man

>>16829960
Do it. Post results.

>>16829981
What he said >>16830011

This too >>16830007
>>
>>16830429
Oooh this.

>like girl
>almost no contact
>try to be less of a robot and talk more to her
>ask out as soon as possible
>negative answer
>go back to old habits
>she's mad

Every time.
>>
>>16830260
Based just off this I'm guessing it's because somewhere along the way you got the idea in your head that we don't think normal bodily sights and sounds associated with eating are normal, and have somehow managed to "rise above" such offputting traits ourselves, and that as such you should feel embarrassed for something everybody does and nobody pays much attention to nor even notices. You've said a lot about the what and nothing about the why though, so how far off am I?

>>16830281
Yup, really. Don't assume I'm speaking for all girls of course but I know for sure I speak for some of us.

>>16830288
Welp. This might sound a little unorthodox but start watching stand-up comedy. They have a knack for pointing out what the rest of us are all secretly thinking, which ought to help you be able to get a read on things more quickly, and they're charismatic in the sense of knowing how to connect with people, relate to them, and make them laugh/think/rage/whatever just some reaction that leaves an impression. That part too you'll begin to pick up on and learn how to imitate without even trying just simply through observation.

>>16830334
>>16830281
Perfect! There, see this...this is an example of how not to go about it. I don't have a clue what any of that shit means. I see the enthusiasm dude has for it, which is enough on its own to make me WANT to know more about it, but he seems more content to whine about it and try to impress via bewilderment rather than teach me about what it is and why he enjoys it so much, and *actually* impress me by involving me in the conversation. That's what I meant by sharing and conversational. Bitching and bragging doesn't tend to go over so well.
>>16830334
^
>>
>>16830429
>Anyway so what am I supposed to do in that situation? Pretend to be friends with her even though I just don't feel that connection? Continue to do things how I usually do them?
Depends what you're going for. What are you going for?

>>16830438
If there's a definitive answer to this, I don't know what it is. Probably stereotyping like a mofo here, but it's late and I'm just going for what seems obvious...
Chicks more likely to find it a turn on:
>single mothers
>infertile
>younger and more idealistic
>older and more realistic
Chicks more likely to find it a turn off:
>raised with many/any instances of stepmom dynamic in family
>no desire for children
>strong desire to be a mother to only her own biological offspring

If I may ask, what drew you to this particular woman in the first place?

>>16830469
Note how when the girl wasn't getting the sort of social behavior she'd been hoping for, she said something and asked about what was up and stated her position and what she thinks might be going on. Start doing that more. Take it as an invitation to respond in kind when others present it to you. If you have no interest in social interaction, and that's the message you put across, that's the message we're gonna receive and will more than likely respond accordingly and try to respect your wishes.
>>
>>16830537
>What are you going for?
We're not friends. We're not close, we don't have anything in common that would justify it. I simply went back to how I am the rest of the time with everybody else. We sat next to each other a few times in one week and now we're friends? No exchange of any important personal stuff or anything. She's just a classmate, we have as little contact as we used to have but now she has a problem with it.

I don't. I was basically indifferent to her when she came to complain. I didn't even think about her.
>>
>>16830594
If you haven't got a problem with her or with what's happened then what are you doing here? Not even being a smartass, I'm just not sure what you're even asking at this point. If you're indifferent and have no real aim here, why's it still on your mind and registering to you as unsettled? Clarify for me please?
>>
>>16830617
Because she's mad at me, and I'm not good with social stuff so I'm trying to figure out if I did something wrong and how I should normally handle such a situation (like maybe give a warning like "I am going back to my old ways now, don't be mad"). So as not to do it again. I'd rather avoid dramas like this.
>>
>>16830623
Ah ok I gotcha now. Best thing to usually try and do first when there's a communication issue is to step back and put yourself in the other person's shoes as best you can. Try to see the situation and its events from their perspective. Then try to look at your own subjective experience of it in a more objective light as well.

So doing that with this, what you'd end up with is seeing that what was a deliberate and concerted effort on your part
>I have a little crush and decide to make an effort and try to open up and get to know her better despite how closed up I am
>Talk to her more often for a few days, try to be nicer and less closed up,
didn't register as being anything out of the ordinary to her. She doesn't know your usual habits and motivations. She's not privy to your M.O. To her it just appeared to be the standard progression of people who are becoming friends starting to open up to each other.

Next you see and acknowledge that both shifts
>ask her out, get an evasive answer ala "I don't know we'll see when we get to that day" and nothing happens, she just goes home
>go back to how I used to behave
in your behavior toward her were pretty directly cause-and-effect a result of crushing on her and being met with a differing level of interest on her end.

That doesn't necessarily imply that you've gone back to your previous behavior in retaliation or out of spite or butthurt however, which is where the disconnect is. She's (fairly understandably) gotten the impression that shift 1 was your natural tendency and shift 2 is something you're putting energy toward doing on purpose, when in actuality she's got em switched and it's really the other way around.

How fix? Simply explain it. Be matter of fact; take care not to be a dick, inadvertently or otherwise.
>>
>>16830662
Got it. Thanks.
>>
>>16830666
No prob, happy to have helped.
>>
Why do you chicks always have to play so many fucking mind games? It's annoying as fuck.
>>
Guys how much would you put up with from your girlfriend's if you knew they were actively trying to change their behaviour?

I know I'm a bad girlfriend but it takes me a second to talk myself out of all my instinctive reactions that are wrong. I feel like my boyfriend is going to get fed up with me before I can even change
>>
>>16830334
>>16830490
Believe I may've taken this the wrong way and interpreted it to mean something you weren't intending to say with it. The point I was making still stands but I might've been a bit needlessly harsh, and shouldn't have used you to make it in any case. Dick move on my part & I apologize.
>>
>>16826014

Did a similar thing. Talk it out with people, preferrably those who would listen to you more than they speak (older the better).

I failed my very first core class in uni and I thought my life was ruined, but after talking to a few people, the best healing came from the words of a 26 year old Korean guy who was in my other class getting help from me: "Dude, accounting sucks. Repeat the class and you'll be ok. As you get older you forget things faster"
>>
>>16830537
>>16830438
If I may ask, what drew you to this particular woman in the first place?

I have liked her for a long time, it's my brothers future wife's sister.

and a sign from my dead father...

she is everything i have always wanted in a woman.

the yin to my yang, strong where i am weak, weak where i am strong. many things in common: life views, goals, values. same love for nature, dislike for drugs. love for animals, she wares yoga pants and boots... my fav. country girl, good work ethic, strong sex drive, aims to please. strong and forgiving. the kind of person who would give the shirt off her back to a cold stranger. loyal, faithful, close to God. a provider. just all and all, my perfect woman....
>>
i just had sex (first time), and was wondering, why his pussy doesn't grip that much? and hell she was so wet i bare feel anything.
>>
>>16830875
i apologize that you're not good at melee
>>
>>16830442
Thanks for the advice and input anon, I appreciate it. If anything just putting my feelings and thoughts into words has helped a bit.
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