Hey I'm a 21 y.o. male kissless virgin.
I'm suffering, but I guess that should be pretty obvious.
I came here to ask a rather... different question, I guess (?)
Here's the thing - I feel like I'm wasting my time by not approaching women due to my low self-esteem.
Another thing is that I don't want to regret not having had any sexual fun in my young years. I'm pretty sure I will regret if I don't get my shit together.
Now, I've always assumed, that I have already missed stuff that I can't fix anymore, like, having sex with < 18 year olds and that I'm going to feel even worse when not improving my situation by at least having my fun with < 25 year olds before I get too old even for that.
Now, last weekend I had this thought that nothing really stops me from trying my luck with 16/17/18 year olds anyways, right?
So, theoretically, as long as I don't wait until I get even older, which would make everything even more difficult, I should have at least somewhat of a chance, don't I?
Now, I'm not sure what my question is, but I think these will do:
- How probable is it that I would find my way with a young girl before it's too late?
- Should I? Or, is there any good reason why that would be an idiotic idea? If this is important for legal stuff, I'm in Germany.
- Where would I find girls willing to explore sexuality with me? I'm not against girls who have a lot of experience, but for my first time, I'd love somebody who has about the same amount of experience that I have.
- How to get lucky? Are young girls easier to get than, say, 20 to 24 year olds (which would be the kind of age span I'd normally "have to go for"?
Also, I'm kind of in a bad situation:
I'm a student but I didn't move out from home (living with mom + 17 y.o. sister) yet. It's a small apartment in a small, shitty village and I need about 1 hour by train to get to uni.
So, naturally, I don't think it's really a good situation to have sex. I mean, where would one go? Hotel? That's kinda expensive.
Clarification: This is not related to the above.
Say I got drunk a lot and somehow got rid of my fear to approach women and they are equally drunk and somehow for some reason we agree to have sex.
What, if her place is not an option? Going home by train? I'd bet that after that one hour she'd have lost all her horniness.
Am I thinking through this in a wrong way?
i'm the anon from the "ask the other gender"-thread
firstly, you are still VERY young. and since you are from germany, i really dont see any problem to have sex with younger girls (i'm from switzerland and my sister and i have always had significally older bf's at age 14-20) the biggest gap was my sister sleeping with a 32 y.o. at 16. so, you can savely dismiss that concern. i have never heard of anybody that really went trough with the legal stuff. just make sure you aren't dating a 14 year old from a very protective and stuck-up family.
for places to fuck: wait till summer. you will always find a place to fuck a slut. i was very slutty and i had a lot of outdoor sex as a teen because we had no place to go. was kind of neat actually. i'm still into public sex at age 27.
as for escalating things, just go to a club, get a bit drunk (not too much!), then look for slutty dressed girls that had a drink too much. give her some glances and if you get eye contact, smile and then grab your balls and go over to her. keep shit simple. say hy and start dancing with her (make sure she was already embarassingly and maniacly dancing befor).
go all in. get body contact. grab her waist. let her grind. make her feel like the hottest girl in the whole club. she's only there for the attention and validation. at this point she will do anything to keep you hooked. LET HER FEEL YOUR BONER. this is all she wants. it's the proof that she arroused you. that's her gratification.
when she's grinding you and you clearly have a boner, she's ready. grab her from behind and kiss her neck. turn her around and just start making out with her. after franatically slobering around in public, tell her that you would like to go "for a walk" with her.
find a dark corner. this needs to happen quickly or you will loose momentum. maybe even scan the place for possible fuck-places first.
then just make out again, feel her up, start sucking on her nipples, then let your hands wander into her pants. bam.
oh, and don't even bother about makin her cum or how long you last. it doesn't matter at all. she will feel better, the faster you cum. and she doesn't care about her own pleasure at all. all her pleasure comes from making you cum as fast as possible.
Alright, first of all, thanks for your response.
Thanks for your imput on the age-gap thing, that gives me at least some hope, although I'm still not sure how common that sort of a thing is. I'd imagine most people want sex partners of roughly the same age. I know that some like partners that are much younger or much older, but I don't think that's the usual case, is it?
As for the "where to have sex" thing: Same as above. I don't think a lot of people enjoy such kind of a risk. Heck, I'm not even sure if I would. I'd be pretty scared to get cought, I think. It's much worse if it's my first few times, because even when not having sex in public I'd be pretty nervous to not fuck it up big time.
Plus, what kind of place is a good place for public sex, anyways?
Lastly, I think your club thing might actually work at some point, but as pointed out in >>16775310
>It definitely gets better once you have some successes.
I think I'd love to begin my "sexual career", so to say, (and yes, I know it's bad wording but w/e), with somebody who's less (or not at all) experienced, so that the awkwardness would be balanced... Does that make any sense? I hope it does.
I know that I shouldn't worry. What I described was my "inner self", so to say. It's not my short-term plan. I know I can't have "perfect sex". I was just trying to say how much of a sexual person I am internally.
I just have a lot of issues trying to get that out.
my response was solely targeted on how to get drunk slutty girls to have quick and meaningless sex with you. since you stated that you first want to do that.
i kknow you also stated that you would like to have your first time with a virgin (i assume because of performance anxiety). that's not gone happen unless you are ready to invest A LOT into a girl. it would be the better approach, sure. it will result in much, much better sex. but it's work. cause for that you need to be the right guy to be able to get a hold on a virgin. and you sound way too insecure for that.
i get that it's intimitadting to fuck somebody with more experience. but sluts don't care. for them it's just sex. it's a meaningless and fast way to feel good about oneself. they probably would feel hyped to know that they can take your virginity. i took a few guys virginity in my younger years and i always enjoyed doing so. their performance never even crossed my mind. i just tought it was neat that i will always be their first fuck. it honestly was all about me. the guy was pretty replacable.
but i'm not sure if you are up for that kind of sex. it seems that you are looking for something more intimate and meaningfull. that would be a whole other topic thought. this is much more complicated than just having sex. not impossible, but a lot of effort.
Mostly, I think I could enjoy meaningless sex, because, as you already mentioned, it should, in theory, be much easier to get than meaningful sex.
For the time being, I think the quantity is more important to be than the quality. I know this will change at some point and that this might sound a bit... I don't know. Shallow?
It's just that I think that I will feel better about myself, and this, the meaningless sex will become more enjoyable to me, after I gained the very basic experience about how sex works. Like, at all. And I think that I want to get that "foundation" through somewhat meaningful sex. It doesn't have to be real love, lol, heck no. Just enough for both of us to enjoy what we're doing.
Actually, I don't even think that a virgin is necessary for that. She just has to accept that I am one and, assuming she does have way more experience than I do, if she's willing to "show me around", so to say, that should be pretty enjoyable as well.
Can't expect that from a drunk party girl, right?
>Can't expect that from a drunk party girl, right?
no you can't.
bu honestly, as long as you don't have a place to crash you won't be able to experiment. or you could just stop giving a fuck. you are 21. your mom knows that you will start bringing home girls and have sex. god knows how many times i said hello to a mom the morning after and then awkwardly went out the door. but hey, it's a phase. she will get over it.
however, i can safely tell you that meaningfull sex is WAY, WAAAYYY better. i would gladly swap all my "experience" for having had the opportunity to not dive into "meaningless sex". it's a shit and not worth it. maybe it gives you confidence in your "performance". but honestly it will only stand in your way if you star having a real realationship at some point. your sex will be geared towards performance. and that's uiet the opposite of what sex in a relationhip y^shohuld be. all your oral and fingering skills won't make a difference. nor would your dick-game. you will have to learn everything anew and from scratch anyways the moment you fall in love the first time. it's another world. it has nothing to do with "fast sex". so, all your experience and mastery is worthless, basically.
>just stop giving a fuck. you are 21. your mom knows that you will start bringing home girls and have sex
Fair point, but:
>It's a small apartment in a small, shitty village and I need about 1 hour by train to get to uni.
>Going home by train? I'd bet that after that one hour she'd have lost all her horniness.
>"meaningless sex". it's a shit and not worth it.
That might be the case. The thing is, that I feel like I would really, really enjoy meaningless sex, assuming I get that "foundation" via the means of somewhat meaningful sex to kill off all the "oh my god this is a vagina and I have literally no idea how to touch it lol" in a nice, meaningful, understanding way.
I am pretty sure that I will regret not having had a wild sexual time over having had it. Just... "hurr durr I wish I didn't have so much shit sex as a student"... yeah, no, I don't think that would happen. I might be wrong, yes, of course. But I only have this one life. I want to live out my dreams. And those are very sexual dreams.
So assuming that I'd go for the "not experienced" route, where would I find unexperienced/submissive/understanding/soft/whatever, young girls what would be willing to go with a 21 y.o. who's equally unexperienced; and where would /it/ happen?
Assuming I'd go for the "experienced, but not extremly dunk / slutty" route; same questions above. I guess the "where?" would be easier to answer here, because she might have her own place available. But what if not?
How would that work? I tried to read up about that app, but it just seems to be something like an anonymous twitter alternative.
Like, how would I possibly find good looking girls (16+) that are both in my area and willing to get sexual? How to contact them?
Was it even a serious suggestion in the first place?
I think everybody should be able to live out their sexual desires without being called sluts and whores.
Basically, don't those "whores" that you are speaking off basically the female equivalent of me, just more self-confident? Well, actually, they don't even have to be confident. Just good-looking. That's much simpler.
Yes, but what do I do after getting the app? Is it even common outside of USA? Never heard of it in Germany before, so chances are that not a lot of girls use it. How to find ones that are in my area?
Also, what has that anything to do with rape?
I wanted to install it in an Android VM because my phone is shitty and can't run modern apps.
It seems like it fell apart and I need to work on it to get it back running. Unfortunately, Whisper doesn't have a web interface, so I can't test it right now. Still, thanks for your recommendation, I will make sure to check it out.
Oh, and another thing:
>you are 21. your mom knows that you will start bringing home girls and have sex.
Assuming I find a 17 y.o., where would the sex happen? I don't find it comfortable bringing home girls that young. At her place? I think that might be even worse; her parents surely wouldn't like that?
Public sex is even more of a no-go at that age, right?
What's left? Moving out? That sounds like a pretty drastic and money-intensive thing to do when it's "just" for (possible, not guaranteed) sex.
Move out of your house and stop being a pedo.
Improve your looks (skin care, proper grooming, fashion) and learn to be more sociable. Try to get involved in activities where girls will be at. You can find certain techniques about "game" on the internet but theres no specific way that always works. But things like being cocky funny are worth researching.
What is a good crutch is treating girls like you would treat children (nopedo) - have fun and dont take them too seriously.
Why are you desperate for <18 girls? There are lots of hot girls that arent underage and going after minors could get you into trouble depending on where you live.
>Why are you desperate for <18 girls?
Not necessarily <18, but I feel like I missed that out and already have given up on that and tried to focus on 20-25-ish. However, as discussed above, it seems like not all hope is lost - that's why I thought I could actually fix that up.
Regardless of that, I'm not interested in 25+ and just want to maximize chances of finding somebody unexperienced for the first few times. After that, I'd probably care less about these things and just go for quantity.
I have no idea.
I just hope to actually live out my sexuality at some point. This is really getting frustrating to the point where it affects my performance in Uni and pretty much the rest of my life, too.
No, it's not just the "oh no, I have no sex, I am so desperate I want to kill myself", no, it's just the fact that I am not living my life the way I should be living it. Not according to others, just my inner self.
So, what about this >>16775712
>Assuming I find a 17 y.o., where would the sex happen? I don't find it comfortable bringing home girls that young. At her place? I think that might be even worse; her parents surely wouldn't like that?
>Public sex is even more of a no-go at that age, right?
>What's left? Moving out? That sounds like a pretty drastic and money-intensive thing to do when it's "just" for (possible, not guaranteed) sex.
Note, ignore the 17 y.o.; this is basically a problem with all possible partners that don't have their own place available.