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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
In my experience, girls have always been more crucial over their bodies then I. I've dated a wide array of body types and like the variance. Unless it's some real botched pair Id put it out my mind and at least feign confidence. What guys gonna say something and ruin his chances of getting it in? Y'all are your worst critics. Stretch marks happen, and a lot of girls have asymmetrical boobs, fuck it don't let that stop you from feeling sexy girl
How do you ask out a complete and total stranger?
Every girl I've personally asked out, I at least had some idea of; I usually knew them somewhat well. But apparently it's totally normal to ask complete strangers out and it sometimes works.
Girls: If you've given your number to, or agreed to a date with a guy you don't know at all (ie. you don't know him from school/work, and he's not a friend of a friend; he's just a totally random guy), what made you want to do that?
If it got to the point where I could see your boobs, I already like you enough to take your clothes off. Relax. Now answer this question: what's your favorite sexual position? [spoiler] I prefer doggy or reverse cowgirl because I have an 8-inch dick and it fits better that way [/spoiler]
That wouldn't throw me off too bad, I'd at least keep it to myself.
Once tho I finally banged this milf who used to frequent my work and when I hit it from behind her Coochie wouldn't stop farting lol I kept it together but got out quick seriously Pbbt.... Pbbt... Pbbbbbbt! Haha it was too much
just going to assume that the "weirdness" of the breaks doesn't stem from a size/lop-sided issue, since that would be apparent even in clothing. it wouldn't be the sole reason for losing interest, but it would be a factor
How do I communicate to a female that I like her; that I want to play a larger role in her life; and that I want to invite her over to cuddle and be cute together?
I'm already afraid because I'm sexually inexperienced. Honestly, it's been more of a personal choice and I've shut down quite a few women in my life because I never felt a good connection and sensed (and have been proven right almost every time) bad intentions. I don't like the idea of sex as getting laid or as some bullshit personal conquest, but I do feel it's still a necessary part of the human experience, and I really want someone to experience it with me.
I really want to end this stupid isolated vampire routine and open up with a female, but I don't know how to express this without coming off as desperate or as a creep.. Even though I probably am a bit of both.
>>16774230 Alright, so,
I've noticed that, at least here in america, girls always wear stuff that is form-fitting even if they're dressing down or dressed comfortably. I can't remember the last time I saw a member of the fairer sex wearing loose-fitting jeans. Girls, what's your reason for this?
I mean, as a guy who has (barely) experimented with cross dressing I can think of a couple reasons, like
>snug material is nice when you have a shaved-everything
>"feels like I'm wearing nothing at all"
But whenever I try to wear something tighter it always ends up feeling restrictive. So, what's your reason?
I'm sitting with a girl at whatever place. We talk a bit about what she's doing. She shows me random pics on her phone at high speed. Every once in a while one of those pics sparks a short conversation. I try to find a few pics of my own to show her, but they turned out to be funnier when I first saw them. There's not much of my own that I can bring up, but enough that I can relate to what she's talking about and keep that up.
We sit like that for a while. In a weird social way it's kind of comfy, though boring. I don't know.
Is this what hanging out is usually like? Not too experienced here, but we've hung out like this a few times now. It kind of feels like I'm not doing it right. Like I'm just clinging on or something since I don't have too much to add myself. If she didn't bring up all sorts of a random things, I wouldn't be able to say much more than generic smalltalk shit or we'd sit in silence.
What you don't seem to realise is that formfitting is not the same as tight. Things like leggings are incredibly comfortable, and they can actually be really warm too. The fact that they're generally pretty flattering doesn't hurt either
>if you had a crush on a girl then saw that she had kind of weird boobs, would that be
a challenge to my boner power? a test of my libido that I'd pass 99 times out of 100? yes, absolutely...Unless the reason I have a crush on you is because of a pic I'm not supposed to have of you where it looks like you have perfect boobage.
>Things like leggings are incredibly comfortable, and they can actually be really warm too.
OK, I tried some medium/large leggings myself but they got pretty uncomfortable around the calves. And for a guy I have some SKINNY calves, guess I should've gone with a bigger size or different brand. lol
I'm a young female with one breast, and I didn't lose the other from a mastectomy or anything, rather a mishap with doctors who thought a innocent skin condition was cancerous which happened to be on my chest. I'm just left with a lot of scars on my one side and I'm obviously insecure about it.
I'm wondering how you men and gay women think about that, if you could be attracted to someone like that, if its a deal-breaker...etc. I assume most people think it's disgusting and I don't like being naked with partners.
Personally, I don't think it's disgusting. Unless someone is exceptionally shallow, any second looks you get are going to due to expectation. Boobs usually come in pairs, just like most hands come with five phalanges.
People are wrapped up in their heads, or whatever they are doing at the moment, so we 'skim' a TON of detail when interacting with people, or just walking on the street, and most information is processed subconsciously. When something is out of place, then we stop and stare. It's not because we're disgusted, or really thinking anything, because our brains are busy going "wait, there should be two there, not one, oh god am i going blind i knew i shouldn't have stayed up late my eye was hurting and..."
Any decent guys will treat you just the same, but they'll all be worrying about NOT making an issue of it. If you can work a joke or story around it, you've got an instant icebreaker. I had a buddy who had a surgical scar on his hip and he would first tell everyone he got stabbed by a mugger. Not exactly the same, though...
Besides, most (all?) guys think scars are badass, and plenty of them are going to ass men, anyways.
gay girl here
i wouldn't think twice about it and i don't think i know any other gay girls that would have an issue with it either
pretty much every gay girl i've met is extremely body positive
Girls, do you "test" a guy if he's gay if he starts spending a lot of time with you?
I think it just happened to me. All I do is show interest in the girly hobbies that she's so enthusiastic about.
Guy who generally does not have trouble finding a girlfriend here.
I wouldn't think it's disgusting and I'm sure it wouldn't affect my attraction to you if I found you interesting and such. Seriously you wouldn't believe the stuff people can and will overlook/not care about.
If you'd prefer not being naked during sex I'd empathize with that and not make it a big deal, though I would see what I could do about subtly getting you more comfortable with yourself. I'd feel bad about my partner not feeling sexy, and I don't mean that in regards to my ego.
If you can have a decent conversation beyond simple formalities, then it's likely I'm willing to give you my number.
You ask her on a date. You don't 'confess' your feelings.
You have no idea how comfortable leggings are. I don't understand how girls can wear leggings without covering their butt with something though, looks real trashy.
Any girl that says her formfitting jeans are comfortable is lying to you. The reality is that loose fitted jeans just don't look good.
That's a pretty normal interaction for someone you don't know very well yet.
It's worse to have a complex about having one boob than it is to have one boob. I don't think most people really care anyway.
I get migraines from smells sometimes, but I haven't yet had problems with cologne, though women's perfume does set me off. Your mileage may vary.
No, I don't play games like that. If I think a guy that I'm interested in may be gay, I'd ask him upfront.
Its not something insignificant, but you can still work with it. This one milf I know lost a breast through cancer, and went through breast reconstruction. While she's clothed, I havent noticed the difference since.
Say you have a good friend of the opposite gender who is homosexual. You spend a lot of time together, you develop a crush and being a reasonable person you do your best just to deal with it because you know that nothing will come of it and you won't be 'the one' to magically make them straighten out.
Then one day THEY tell YOU that they have feelings for you despite previous claims of being 100% homosexual.
Is it worth it to even try and pursue anything there at the risk of your friendship? Can people really shift along the whole sexuality scale past a certain point in their development? Is it just destined to end in heartbreak as the sexual incompatibility makes itself known regardless of your emotions?
I'd thought falling in love with my lesbian friend and knowing there was no chance of reciprocation, ever, was the worst thing I could feel. Now I'm afraid I'll find out an even worse feeling is losing her entirely because we mishandle this entire situation.
I can't really say what triggers my migraines. Sometimes it's bright lights, sometimes it's smells, sometimes it's the stress, sometimes it's because I haven't eaten. If you want to play it safe then you might not want to use too much of cologne.
I mentioned I was going to visit a nearby Kyoto next month.
My female friend who I am very interested in but still don't know super well mentioned she was going there too!
Next weekend! With friends, to take pictures dressed as maiko (geisha).
As our conversation continued about what she would do a and what I might do, she mentioned shed send me some pictures if they turn out well.
Should I read anything in to that? If you are going somewhere just to take pictures, I assume you're gonna show 'em around, so I dunno.
>Look for a possible GF
>wow, there's fucking nothing!
>Stop looking for a possible GF
>suddenly all the hotties start appearing and actually get noticed by some of them
OK, that's it, there's gotta be some asshole reality warper or brain drinker out there or some shit.
Is it really like this though?
I mean you deliberately loom for a date, and it might end up being bad, but when you don't look for one, and probably hit the gym or some shit, and you suddenly find some interesting woman?
I fucking hate causality.
From what I know, form-fitting for girls is a combination of comfort and aesthetic appeal to be more feminine. Pretty ironic really. However, loose clothes are often associated with masculinity, and it doesn't help much when girls are often mistaken as transgendered when they wear loose clothing. Plus for some reason a lot of people believe that form fitting is more versatile and practical, but with a cost if the clothing sculpts the body too much that it becomes revealing.
>Can people really shift along the whole sexuality scale past a certain point in their development?
Yes. It's because, for one, most people don't really know themselves all that well, for two, people can change in pretty much any way, even if major changes like what you're describing aren't too commonplace, three, she may not have been telling the truth.
Just be happy about your rather lucky situation. And even if things turn to shit, they could well have turned shit after rejecting her just to "stay friends", too.
Not a deal breaker. Presuming you do some bra-stuffing for symetry in day-to-day life any interest i'd have in you would probably be before I learned about your breasts, and if i teally liked you i would probably see past that when you told me.
Cooking her dinner and then going to the movies - good idea for a Valentine's Day date with a girl I've only met with once before? Never had anyone to celebrate that day with, so I have no idea what should I do.
Tips for dealing with premature ejaculation?
I had sex with my gf for the first time today. I ended up cumming in about 10 seconds. After that amount of time she was also in so much pain that she wanted me to pull out. I wasn't even moving my dick around or anything - it just felt so good I couldn't help but cum.
Been masturbating for 10 years and it didn't help me in my time of need at all.
I'm a girl with a question for other girls:
Let's say you are friends with my boyfriend. Why do you ask me if it's okay if you hug my boyfriend if we all meet up to go out?
Isn't that making it a bigger deal than it is? Personally, this feels like some manipulative way to put me in a situation that makes me uncomfortable...
I fucked up, bigtime. Or so I believe. My girlfriend is now in Taiwan. I was at work yesterday and was done at 12PM, I was tired as fuck so I didn't really check my cellphone anymore. I woke up this morning, did my meditation and went to work, etc. Didn't check news. Got no notification from my apps either, etc. Now, yesterday evening at 9PM or so, a big earthquake took place in Taiwan (not where my GF lives) and I did not know about this only until a couple of hours ago.
I feel so incredibly shitty about myself. Yesterday evening my GF got a lot of messages from friends etc and I just notice this now until it's too late. Normally I do keep up with the news and shit but this time I just didn't.
I don't know, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Say what you want.
Maybe, it just makes me feel like she'll judge me no matter what my answer is. Well, by asking she's already judging. More than one of his female friends have asked me this before. Some of them don't even know his ex girlfriends.
Advice from anyone welcome
A friend of mine introduced me to a girl which friendzoned him a couple of weeks ago, and he really can't get over it.
The problem is she likes me and I kind of like her, but dunno what's the right move here, my bro wouldn't be against it but he would be hurt if we were to get together.
This is terrible advice. When it comes to attraction, males and females respond to totally different sets of physical and social cues.
This kind of lazy thinking is why men send unsolicited dick shots, and why women get tattoos.
Girls revealing their naked bodies turns men on. So men assume that revealing their naked bodies will turn the girls they like on. Not true (at least, not in a vacuum.)
Men having tattoos is a signal of aggression and confidence. These traits in men turn girls on, so girls project, and think that since tattoos turn them on, them having tattoos will turn they men they like on. Not true. Men don't want aggressive women and they don't care about confidence.
My bf's fucking awesome. But sometimes he just tries a tad too hard. For example, he puts a lot of pressure on himself when we have sex. It almost seems as if he's never satisfied with his "performance". I have a rather different approach to sex. For me it should be playful and lighthearted. How can i gently get him to relax and not take his sexuality so serious? Reassuring him that he's doing wonderfully won't cut it. It seems like he is always challenging himself. For example, i never had an orgasm with a guy before. He was the first one that was able to make me cum (with oral). But nope, he's not satisfied with that, now he's death-set on making me cum from penetration. I mean, that's neat and all and i'm down to try. But now it seems that everytime it doesn't work out the way he was hoping he's dissapointed. And it honestly puts pressure on me now. I just want to spend some blissfull moments between the sheets. This is not the set of a porn movie where the guy has to stay diamonds for two hours and be ready for round two after 10 mins. I just want him to get lost in the moment a bit more. Ho do i do that?
>I want to invite her over to cuddle and be cute together
Don't communicate that to her. It'll turn her off.
Females want to be dominated by the men they are attracted to. They way you attract females is by signaling to them that you have social status.
Oh and he's rather sensitive about the topic. I will talk about it with HIM. But it would be great to gear a guys perspective on this and maybe some tipps on how to word things in order to not make him feel bad about it. Cause that's really not my goal
99% of the time, it's not going to make an ounce of difference. If you're insecure about it, communicating that will actually reveal some vulnerability and be a turn-on (at least for men.)
Women are especially fluid sexually. Most of the "lesbians" I've known personally are now married to men.
As to the other part of your question, yes there is a risk that you will lose this friendship if you pursue something deeper. You'll have to do your best to quantify the risk/reward and determine whether or not it's worth it.
This makes perfect sense if you think about it.
When you're the kind of faggot who browses 4chan all day, when you're in gf-looking mode, you come across as needy as hell. And nothing turns girls off more than men who act needy.
When you dgaf, suddenly you're not acting like such a faggot.
The answer to this question is long, multi-faceted, and subtle.
Best advice is to just get out there and try to meet and fuck as many girls as possible, and to spend some time reflecting on your attempts.
You'll go down in flames a lot, especially at first, but eventually you'll figure out how all this shit works.
>meet and fuck as many girls as possible
Meeting girls is not that much of a problem to me, but how do I make her know that I'm a sexual being that can and wants to deliver lots of fun and orgasms?
>Cooking her dinner
Not bad! This is better than taking her out to a restaurant like 99% of everyone else. Instead of going to the movies, stay in and fuck.
Actually, fuck first. You won't be all full and bloated.
Greet her at the door with a glass of wine, let her take a sip, then say "Happy Valentine's Day", grab her, and start making out.
I'm a guy, but here's some general life advice: always assume good faith.
Yes occasionally you'll be taken advantage of, but 99% of the time this won't be the case, and your life will be so much better and more relaxed when you're not second guessing everyone and everything all the time.
I'm not the anon who asked the initial question.
I was just generally interested in that "how2sex" thing.
I personally am not feeling ready for a relationship, I just want to get some sexual experiences.
The thing is, I don't know how to initiate anything sexual. At all.
I'd be grateful if you maybe considered my full situation over at >>16775170
I don't really know. It definitely gets better once you have some successes.
Learn to take pride in yourself for taking action (i.e. asking girls you find attractive out) rather than in the outcomes of the action.
The ideal answer to this question is also long, multi-faceted, and subtle. But generally, she'll know if you take action.
First date should be at a bar for drinks (drinks == sex) then back to your place for another drink. Transition from there into making out, and from there into sex.
All of that will indicate to her that you want to fuck, and if she's attracted to you, she'll let her self go along with it.
If she's coming over to your place for you to cook her dinner for Valentine's day, she likes you and will definitely be open to you manning up and kissing her. That might not lead to sex, which is fine. But it also might!
Assuming you're not the one who already answered in that thread, please look at >>16775170 for the full situation, which should explain why "back to your place" is not really an option.
>I just want him to get lost in the moment a bit more. Ho do i do that?
Next time it happens, sit with him and tell him. "Stop worrying. If I didn't like it, I'd say so. Just like I'm saying, right now, that your overcommitement to this is annoying. Relax, and let's have fun, nothing else. We're not in a race of competition, I just want it to be fun. The act, not the result.
I don't know. We're really close, we tell each other things and have conversations with each other that neither of us could ever have with anyone else. We spend a lot of time together. Basically all the makings to be happy together have been there a long time, except for sexual compatibility. So her deciding that she feels strongly enough to give it a shot should feel like heaven...but I guess my biggest concern is not anything between us, it's that she'll A) end up realizing that regardless of her feelings she doesn't enjoy sleeping with a guy and things get messy dealing with that or B) even if she decides she likes it she'll regret 'denouncing' her lesbian status. It seems to be a really volatile subject in that community and lesbians who turn out bi get cold shouldered a lot.
There is this cute girl who sits next to me in a web development class.
If I tell her that I think her website looks nice would that be construed as me making a move? I am very social retarded when it comes to women.
I don't have very many girls in any of my classes and I don't meet very many outside of class, so I just figured I would try to talk to her.
I am a shitty person to ask about this because I'm not doing any moves myself. I'm a shy idiot who is too scared to approach women.
However, I have read like 1 GB worth of PDFs on flirting, alpha-ness and lots of serious stuff that has been posted to reddit and sometimes to /adv/.
One of the most important things that seems to be commonly suggested is to MAKE THINGS OBVIOUS. That will get you where you want. Not making things obvious has the issue that it can lead nowhere.
I'm still too scared to approach women.
Maybe I should go see a therapist or get massively drunk.
Just try to go for the "escalation or nothing" route instead of the "girlfriend ^_^ or friendzone :'c" route.
Disclaimer: Don't trust me, I'm insecure. Go study that stuff yourself and try not to hate the world as much as I do.
I dunno if I am to worried about the friendzone, if she is inviting and doesn't do something to make me feel insecure it will probably be easy.
I figure if she actually wants to be my friend that would be cool, and if she is just saying lets just be friends as some sort of soft rejection or if she thinks ill be an orbiter then she wasn't worth it in the first place.
Why not try it out? Get strap-on fucked. I have no experience because I'm a kissless virgin, but riding a dildo is actually lots of fun. And yes, I am a straight male. Don't be afraid of passive anal. It's a lot of pleasure.
Uhhh, man, I've only went out with her once, and you're telling me to start the second date with a makeout session in my hallway? The fuck?
>what's the menu you have planned?
Well, I got a good crêpe recipe recently, so I've been thinking about crêpes with smoked salmon and sour cream, plus some nice salad. That's just my initial idea though.
I'm kind of not aiming for sex on that date. I mean that would be just our second date. There'll be plenty of time for that later.
It has literally nothing to do with being gay.
Gay men also kiss. Does kissing make you gay? Thought so.
Just make sure to go to the toilet like an hour before you do, optionally enema if you're really scared about that. Also, don't be scared, it's perfectly natural that it might get a bit dirty.
Have paper towels nearby.
>won't like it
Do it, to find it out, then?
Virginity = sexual inexperience ONLY and that's it?
I mean I study a lot about sex and read things about peoples experiences, how PiV sex works, how to have very good sex with a partner, studied male and female anatomy and biology, what fetishes and kinks and sexual attractions are, and I pretty much get the gist of what to actually do when my legit first time comes, but then I fear my partner might get the idea that I'm actually not a virgin, since I've studied sex for years.
I know porn is faker than soccer players faking injuries, but the sex itself is real.
Ladies, how would feel if your partner had phimosis (tight foreskin)? Basically I can't fully retract mine fully (only about three-quarters of the way) and I'm wondering if a girl would be put off (I'm a virgin obviously). I'm doing stretches but I'm just wondering if I should do more.
Virgins can be decent at sex, but they're usually terrible. All the book learning in the world won't teach you any of the "wow, this must be what their last partner liked because it's horrible" tells.
No, it's as much a sort of qualification as it is an understanding of the topic. Actually having had sex demonstrates that you're able to clear all of those hurdles with another human being. (Unless the only hurdle you jumped was money.) Maybe that point is clearer when you look at it the other way around. The problem with virginity isn't necessarily that one is a virgin but WHY one is a virgin. I'm sure you can imagine a wonderful, well-adjusted person who simply never felt the right opportunity to take that step yet. I'm sure you can also imagine a person who is so fucked up that they have no hope of ever being able to make another person comfortable enough to sleep with them.
The theoretical knowledge isn't enough. Think of it more like a diagnostic test. Knowing how to pass isn't the same as actually having passed.
How would you break out of such a vicious circle? (Having had no sex -> not self-conscious enough for people to want to have sex with you; no people that want to have sex with you -> no sex)
Well a female doesnt have a penis. A strapon is a way of pretending she has an exclusively male organ (pretending shes a guy). The act is gay and youre just trying to pretend that its not because its not with another man.
>hurr I was only taking phallic objects in my ass. Nothing gay about that.
I wouldn't care at all. I'd only worry about it hurting you.
What about your end?
Are you both comfortable with it? Do you like it? Does it make you happy? Then keep doing it. Who cares what other people think?
It could be, but probably not.
Nice. Valentine's day is about love. I make sure to include my family on valentine's day and let them know how much I love them.
Thats a 0-2 year difference. Hardly a problem. I'd tease him for it though.
It would shock me and probably bother me a little from first impressions but it would not be a deal breaker.
If you're cool and a bit of a qt I would still go for it.
I am not perfect, nobody is so why would I judge others. Plus I am an ass man anyways.
Women, the following situation:
>I went to a bar yesterday
>had fun, good music and fun people
>that one girl, slightly chubby, really cute face, starts talking to me
>we have a good time, talk some more and drink
>she starts getting touchy and wants to kiss me at some point
>I stop her and say "you're really cute, you shouldn't waste your time on me you could easily land a better catch"
>her eyes widen, she looks really angry and she throws her drink in my face and storms out of the bar
Like, what the hell happened there? I was just honest, she was obviously out of my league.
She obviously deemed you to be worth it so you insulted her in a way by saying she was wrong.
That being said it's pretty big over reaction to rejection. She might have not been used to being rejected.
It wasn't a rejection though, I would have gladly accepted her offer I just pointed out that she could easily get someone better.
Doesn't that say more about me than her though? I'm glad other people see it as an overreaction as well, but I don't get it at all honestly.
>You're really cute, you shouldn't waste your time on me
>not a rejection
She thought it was, and I think it was. That means you fucked up. If you we're interested in kidding her, do it. Don't let your low self-esteem trip you up, dummy.
>Don't let your low self-esteem trip you up, dummy
But that's literally the only way I can be okay with that, otherwise I feel like I'm deceiving someone if I can date someone out of my league.
Get over it or start therapy, learn to like yourself more. That's an actual problem.
I didn't pursue anyone romantically for a long time because I just assumed nobody would have a reason to date me. I didn't hate myself, but obviously I had some serious issues.
Not the same anon, but I'm in a kind of similar situation. Not as extreme, but I'm still very afraid of approaching girls with the intend of doing sexual things. Also, I don't know how to initiate anything.
Would a therapy be something for me?
I feel like the only person that can help me is myself. What is a therapist going to do?
How would they convince me to fix myself?
How does therapy work? It feel like a waste of time.
You've obviously never been to a therapy before. It's marvelous what a simple tweak in your mindset can do for you, or anybody for that matter, and seeing a therapist can give you exactly that. It does sound like a self-esteem issue indeed, and seeing someone about it can bring a change. In my honest opinion, you should most definitely go for it.
>You've obviously never been to a therapy before.
What exactly does happen in a therapy, though?
I don't know if it's worth even trying it. Just talking to people about these things over and over again (like I did with my friends) just doesn't seem to have any potential for such a huge change, in my opinion.
Care to clear that up?
It's literally a therapists job to help you work through this. They guide your conversation to help you discover why you feel the way you do.
Once you know that, you can begin to change it.
It sounds like something easy enough to do on your own, but there's a reason talking with your friends hasn't done anything yet.
Yes, you'd be talking just like you do with your friends. Difference is, the person you would be talking to is a trained professional (ideally, they'd have a lot of experience) who would have the intention of helping you out AND will most definitely know how to.
I won't go into details, but when I was very, very young a certain person passed away, which scarred my life badly. Everything stirred in a bad direction, and I was forced to have some counselling. It turned everything around for me in about 5 weeks. I saw my therapist three times a week, and she became the most important person in my entire life. There is still a lot I need to work on, but my head is clear, I am at the peak of my physical health, and I am working towards achieving everything I want. That woman made that possible for me through talking.
My advice is this: forget what you think you know about therapy and therapists, forget what your friends, colleagues and whomever else you've got talking to you about it is saying, and just do it.
I've met a woman a few times now to chat and get drinks/have a meal together.
We still don't know each other super well, but we talk for hours at a time.
How should I approach asking her to go out on a legit date? We've never discussed relationships or anything, but I know I have to take a shot if I want something to happen and I'm terrified.
Should I confess I've been interested since she first invited me out? Should I tell her she's beautiful (she is, but I don't know that she'd need to hear that from me)?
Or just ask to meet like normal but specify it's a date?
Guy here. I'm going to ask out my childhood friend (JUST LIKE IN MY CHINESE CARTOONS) as I've started to develop complex feelings. The thing is that, even if she plays tough and doesn't show it much, she's pretty depressed because her plans for the future didn't turn out as expected . I'm afraid my confession might come kind of out of the blue and shock her/confuse her more than she already needs.
Should I wait it out and just be there for her as her friend while she sorts it out or JUST DO IT and be depressed 20somethings with no future together? I worry whether I'd be lacking in tact or not.
Ever since my friend moved in with her boyfriend, she's been ignoring my texts and everything else really. Is this shit supposed to be common?
We'd been friends for something close to 3 years and she was always saying she wants me and the bf to hang out sometime since she thought we'd get along well. But she's been ignoring me for over half a month now. I understand more time will be invested into someones SO than their friends, but I just feel offended at this point.
HOW DO I NOT GET INTO THE FRIENDZONED
There is this girl I wanted to ask out for a while but couldn't due to various circumstances. I was going through Tinder and I stumbled across her. I superliked her. She matched me back and we are having a pretty good convo.
But I'm worried I'll put myself into the friendzone. How to I avoid this? Should I just be upfront about it right from the start?
Girls (guys can weigh in too)
Asked a girl out. She accepted then flaked by saying she likes someone more. Couple of days later, she apologizes and asks if we can be friends. Now she's pretty flirty over text, taking an interest in me and the things I like, and wants to hangout.
Part of me wants to ask her out again because I'm unsure of how to interpret the interest she's showing.
>I've been getting those vibes from you lately
>I thought you just wanted to be friends, or are you interested in more?
Or something along those lines. Shouldn't be too hard, you don't have to specifically ask her out, just say that you don't know how to interpret her signals and that you'd like clarification.
You don't "avoid" the friendzone. If she's not interested in you romantically then there won't be a relationship, and there's nothing you can do about it. Just ask her if you don't want to waste any time, but there is no "convincing" someone to change their mind and suddenly find you attractive.
Just fucking ask her.
If she rejects you, fine. If you are friends with her just to get her into a relationship and THEN she rejects you, she'll be rejecting you the same way. You just waited longer.
Kill yourself you fucking nigger faggot. Enjoy being systemically maltreated, paid less, living in a ghetto, never rising to be truly great in society. Fucking nigger bitch. You're the one that's getting kek'd as I fuck your mom and sisters.
What do you think about plurality sex ? (involving another people in the sexy time) Have you tried it before ? Enjoyed it ?
I really like threesomes or more and i'd like to know if girls are disgusted by it when you are in couple... I'm not speaking about the whole cuck meme, but you know, time to time a little threesome with another girl or another guy just to spice up our sexuality ?
What do you think ? Could you be still faithful after tasting some other pussy/dick while in couple ?
If she stills shows interest in you.
Give it a few more dates and if you're wondering, just ask her about it. I'm really shy and it usually takes me a while to feel comfortable enough with someone to fuck them even if I really like them.
My hands are cold/I don't know what to do with my hands/I'm feeling nervous or awkward.
I'm 26 years old and haven't dated in 7 years.
Do people actually give a shit about others' taste in music? I'm trying out this online dating thing, and I'm finding that a lot of people are talking about their favorite genres & artists.
I personally don't care what others listen to, and I listen to so many different kinds of music that there's very little point in telling people what I like.
Music is an important part of many peoples lives, and you can usually tell a few things from someone's taste in music. That's usually why people talk about it, and it's an easy subject that basically everyone can talk about.
It's not really important, it's usually just one of those "get to know you" questions dating sites have.
Also, I can't imagine long term compatibility with someone who only listened to country.
Just pick a few artists you like and someone will think they have something in common with you.
I think you forgot the part where I mentioned I'm 26 years old.
I'm no longer in school, my workplace is a sausagefest, and a bar or nightclub is the worst place to find a relationship. If not for online, I'd be that creep who hits on cashiers at Starbucks or at grocery stores.
This is for everyone.
I have high amounts of integrity. How do you ask those really important questions that you can't compromise on without seeming weird?
For example religion. I'm religious. That's just an example.
>asked a girl out at her work
>it wasn't random: we spoke a few times before, we were on a first name basis
>she politely declined
>figure it'd be weird if I went into her store again so I'm not going to
>I work right next door to her and coming upon her again is an eventuality
I'm not going to continue this pursuit, but it's hard getting her out of my mind. The first time I saw her, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest, almost like my heartrate doubled. I've never had this feeling before. She embodies everything I find attractive in a woman personality wise and she isn't a bad looking woman either.
How do I stop thinking about her? It's been two months and I still think about her. It keeps me up at night.
Yo women Im doing a small sample here before making a bigger thread.
On average how large is are your past partners penis size and how what percentage of time did they make you orgasm from penetration alone
For reference the length of an orzaka water bottle is 8 inches and a toilet roll is about 5.5 inches around.
It's less about how much you're actually being filled with and more about rhythm, angle, motion, and how hot your partner is.
Second largest was a virgin, 4 inch knew what he was doing.
Go meet new women, start a new hobby, plan a vacation, learn a new skill.
You are focused on her because you don't have anything else. Force your focus to change and you'll find no reason to think of her.
Girl I've been talking to the past few months is great. I like her a lot, she's so fucking cute too. Well anyways, she told me tonight that she wishes she could cuddle with me in bed to keep warm, and that she wishes to look into my blue eyes and give me a long passionate kiss. That sounds amazing to me. But I'm really REALLY nervous on the fact that I don't have a good body. I'm really skinny, and i feel embarrassed because of it. I have thin arms and legs, and no chest or shoulders. I have recently started working out the past 2 weeks. But it'll take much longer to see results. I'm just really ashamed, and I'm worried that if she saw me unclothed, that she would lose interest. :(
Is there any way to lessen the weirdness if you ask a friend out and get rejected?
I want to ask her, we've only known each other two months.
I'm totally ok with getting rejected. I'm willing to change or friendship to give it a shot.
But if she doesn't want to, it'd be a shame to ruin what we have already.
The only way to "lessen the weirdness" is to get a girlfriend ASAP.
She will feel more secure that way. If you're busy with another girl, there's next to no chance you'll go after her again.
so basically one of my friends is interested in a girl, i found out she doesn´t really...like men at all, so i tell him, and he gets mad at me and tells me he is not giving up, then he made an angry post about how i should get that he hates himself and etc (things i do know, reason i told him that because i thought maybe that would put him in a worst situation), i said sorry and that it was none of my business and he started being all "don´t worry it´s not a big deal"
why is this guy not understanding he is going to get rejected?
I just feel gross.. I honestly don't know why she likes me. I really want to ask her but I feel awkward. Just look, I look like shit
Do girls dress up to hang out with a guy they really aren't that interested in. For instance me and a friend hung out and i wore jeans and pants, she wore a sun dress that showed off her legs and cleavage, nothing ive seen her dress in before.
How would you feel about dating a guy who is older than you, but earns less than you do?
I'm not talking McDonald's-tier low. I mean like slightly above construction worker-tier.
Despite the relatively low pay, I am content with my job. I am more than capable of affording a house and a vehicle with this job, as well. I care more about the difference I'm making with this job than the actual money I'm earning.
There are a few girls that I'm interested in, and they're pretty high tier. I'm talking law students and engineering students. Some have graduated already and are engineers, teachers (they actually earn really good money in my country), nurses, and whatnot. They're younger than me, and more accomplished.
I'll admit that I'm a little jealous, but I'm willing to get over it if it's not such a problem on the girl's end.
because he's an idiot.
I'd want to agree on stuff, you don't want to feel like your living in the other partner's house. BUT some people don't give a shit. Therefore... ask! For example, if you were thinking of getting
new curtains, tell your dude, ask if he wants to come along.
Dude I just bad. Just to take that picture, I took probably 50 pictures total before I found one I felt comfortable even posting here. i stress about appearance a lot. I hope I don't turn her off
I would actually like to put a lot of input into home decorating.
I can't tell you the number of times I've seen some really tacky shit, or the amount in dollars I've seen wasted on inferior materials.
Nice body dismorphia m8.
You look fine.
Picture an average woman's body. Maybe like 0.1 above average. That's how attractive you are. It's not weird for someone to be attracted to you. Remember, you being average looking means you are better looking than half of all dudes. RELAX AND SMASH DAT.
Femanons, would you still find a guy in his early to mid 30's attractive? I'm in my 20's now, but I'm looking at either running off on a military adventure around the world or going into medical science training followed by residency, all of which tends to render one rather ineligible dating-wise for a lengthy period of time. I would likely return to the dating scene sometime in my 30's as a bachelor.
I basically want to know if this kills my odds of finding a wife. I don't want my options to be limited to divorcees and the involuntarily single.
I, and almost every girl I know, wants to be settled down with at least a partner, if not marriage and kids, by our early 30s. I'd say that girls who still want to be single by that age are in a tiny minority
Related, I met a woman who is ballpark in her 30s. She seems a bit reserved, and very gentle (read: not a wild party girl).
Is it reasonable to assume she'd be looking towards marriage? Because I would marry the shit outta her.
I want to ask out this girl who's lab partners with me for this class.
We've known each other for a couple weeks, and I'm getting decent vibes and would rather ask her sooner than later, but I don't want to put her in the awkward position of rejecting me because that might make future labs horribly uncomfortable (or she might switch partners, which sucks because she a great help).
So, should I go for it, or is it safer to keep things on a purely professional/friendly level? Honestly would rather be safe than sorry.
Sometimes those "decent vibes" could be false positives.
I've been in a similar situation. I was taking a computer course and I hit it off really well with the girl next to me. I decided to bite the bullet and ask her out. Nope, she already has a boyfriend.
A girl being nice to you doesn't necessarily mean she likes you. She could be nice to you because that's what every decent human being should do.
Your example doesn't really prove your original point though. You may well have picked up on vibes of admiration, attraction or even affection from that girl next to you. She was unavailable but that doesn't mean she was blind or inattentive. She can still appreciate a good man when she sees one.
I think the lesson is that even if a girl is being nice because she likes you, it doesn't mean that it'll all work out.
some people don't understand that homosexual means "no way in hell." it shows up with guys trying to turn lesbians straight and girls trying to turn gay guys.
i'd like some input into how my home is set up in terms of stuff like layout, furniture, appliances, and maybe colors
baby face, nigga
Need a opinion on this. So basically what I told her I was reclarifying a talk we had in the past. Because we are simulating "cuddling" right now. And I mentioned how I feel so close to her. So she said something regarding relationships. So I cleared it up.
Anyways. She said "lo ti adoro" which means "I love you". I don't know which context she meant. I know she likes me, because she told me that in the past, but Does she mean it like "I'm so happy we understand each other" or does she actually love me
I became friends with an extremely sensitive and sweet girl (let's call her A) and helped her trough some stuff, long short story we both have feelings for each other now, but I'm in an almost 4 year old relationship with a girl we'll call B that I've never been truly happy with, but that I only started because she had no family or anyone that helped her and she had some very shitty times overall. I want to be with A, I realized that today but I don't know how to go at it, I don't think she will accept me just leaving B and getting together with her on moral grounds (and also she would think I'd eventually do the same to her) and I also feel she's going to say we should stop talking pretty soon because it's going to hurt/be too awkward for her. I know there's no way I can convince her I'm the good guy here, but I don't want to lose her and I really don't want her to suffer over this, should I just let things fall apart? How do I break up with B and tell her I've been literally lying to her for almost four years? Is there any way she could understand and wait?
WHATDA NEED TO DO IS SHOW YOUR TITS and that'll get the guys!
-grabs jug of milk and starts chugging it-
And then wwhgreahehrahashafsharsfharshasfh.... Then what you do is tell all of the guys here are my tits and I'll show the- asdghkdsaipogasmfharpfharefhnfadshnadhnadfnh
-grabs Lays barbecue chips and starts devouring them-
Or get the fuck out... THRATS WHAT I'D DO.
No, you're supposed to use your personality, confidence, wit, and charm to get yourself into relationships.
Then when you turn 40, you can afford to be a bit lazy with your pursuit for pussy.
Assholes who pick on others and do nothing are hambeasts. You know lofting themselves above others. In some ways I bet to you I could beat their ass in World of Warcraft if I had the time or Starcraft and a lot of other video games if I had the time and research on it. Which I will soon when I get my camera all together and fine.
>"Ti voglio bene" is "I love you" for friends and family
>"Ti amo" is "I love you" for your partner.
"Ti adoro" is something in between, but doesn't involve romance necessarily and doesn't mean she's in love with you. I used to say that to the guy I friendzoned when I was 14. And to my ex boyfriend when I wasn't ready to tell him "Ti amo".
The guy I like has your exact body type (to the point that I checked the curtains to see if it was a picture of him) and I am absolutely in love with his body.
You look great. Don't worry. You are in the sweet spot between average and skinny.
I honestly think you look good. Better than most guys I've ever seen. Do not worry about it.
Also, if she talked to you for months, it means that she likes your personality a lot. Even if she found a better looking guy, probably he wasn't able to make her feel as good as you make her feel. Which matters more than abs or broad shoulders or big arms. Don't worry about your body and enjoy what you two have. It seems to be special for both of you.
>I still think about her even though I only knew her for a few weeks a half a year ago
>my rebound psychologically abused me and caused the biggest crime in my campus's recent memory, then tried to frame me for it
>that crime has been the only thing anyone on my campus talks about for the last couple months, and I am cornered for information on a daily basis even though I've told them
I can't legally say anything
>my rebound called the university I'd been trying to transfer to, the place I've been working almost a decade to get to, said that they were me, and went on a crazed psychotic rant. I was rejected despite having scores better than a third of other applicants.
>my family tells me that "you can mope around if you want, but being unhappy right now is your choice", and I silently nod my head and thank them for the advice as I think of how utter bullshit that is
And that's just the tip of the iceberg for the last six months of my life
The only way I could imagine that is if the person I was with was only fwb. As in, if both people were ones I really don't care that much if they never contact me again.
Still, not for me.
Femanons, how important is a man's hair for you dating wise?
I'm O+M type, beginning stage at the age of 30. The O isn't completely bald but it's pretty thinned out. I buzz my hair really short.
>long distance thing?
It is, but I'm not sure what we technically are. Really, we are just friends who developed feelings for each other, but are not "in a relationship". We care a lot about each other. I'm going to be hopefully visiting her again in a few months
Yeah but what if they are focusing on you instead ?
It's not like we NEED this, just to have fun, thanks for your answer anyway
So the whole feeling about this is "nope" or "not while in relationship". There is some reason about the relationship situation ? Like, do you think you'll respect your partner less ? You'll be tempted to cheat because you fuck other People ?
Do you think your bf would love you less if he "share" you ? (Even if the whole purpose is our pleasure, not hurting anyone)
Thank you for your honest answers girls :)
Sex is something that I share just with my partner. I don't have casual sex, I don't even feel particularly attracted by people I am not in love with. To me, it's a part of a relationship that I want to share with one person only. If he feels okay with the idea of fucking other people casually, I wouldn't be happy about it. If he wants to do that while being in a relationship with me, I'm not down for that, and I'd feel like he doesn't respect me the same way that I respect him.
Hmmm ok i get your point... Im starting to think that if i do that she'll not feel respected indeed, even if my love wouldnt change at all !
Well, i guess some fantasies will stay as fantasies in my head :/
> young and black
Since you're giving me nothing i only have stereotypes to go with: Afro
Alternatively shaven. Most blacks can make that work.
Full disclosure: I'm very white, living in a very white country. Didn't meet a black person until I was 22
When my gf and I have sex she makes these very loud sloshing sounds out of her pussy when I'm pumping, and it turns me on so fucking much while she hates it.
I've told her I love it, she still hates it. What do?
Me and my wife has this understanding where she can decide pretty much everything, but i can veto things that are impractical. Now and then i suggest things which she usually takes into consideration.
I fucking hate girls. I hate them for making us have feelings and emotions. There is a girl I want to fuck and make love to so god damn fucking bad but she lives too fucking far away!!!!
It's driving me crazy!!!!! REEEEEEEEE
>"lo ti adoro" which means "I love you"
eeeeeeh.. It's not THAT i love you, that's 2ti amo". Ti adoro is indeed something a lot of girls use to friendzone, BUT maybe she's just too afraid to say ti amo.It's kind of a weird inbetween
baby faced anon here.
I used to be approached by qts fairly often when I had a blue mohawk, a lip ring and punk clothes. I can't do the mohawk cause job, but I'm considering going back because I'm lonely and horny.
Wutdo? I look so safe and boring and young. I can't grow facial hair either.
Ti adoro i like i really really like you.It's not as strong as "ti amo" (i love you, like a partner) but better than "ti voglio bene" (i love you, as a friend).
So the girls could see that guy as a very good/close friend, or she might have real feeling for him but she's afraid to say that for whatever reason.
I dont know if i can make it any clearer.
Imo he's getting friendzoned in that pic, but he kinda did that to himself with the first text
>>I like someone. What do I do?
>Ask them out.
>>How can I tell if someone likes me?
>Ask them out.
Even if I'm a girl? I'm kinda socially awkward shut in but I don't want to come off as whorish or desperate.
She may just feel self conscious about it. My advice was going to be "tell her you like it", but you've done that. So my advice is now: keep telling her how hot you think it is.
Hearing it repeatedly worked for me.
In my expert opinion, virgins should not be allowed to date, and be forced to copulate with the nearest female/male, or face 100 years in prison for intentional depopulation of the human race.
Met my ex a year after i broke up with her.
We had a good time talking, and id like to have her back in my life.
Thing is, im not sure what she wants. (She also just went trough a breakup, few weeks earlier)
When i tried to ask her out again, she said shes busy, but she will write to me when she has time.
Later that day she wrote that she has a lot of stuff going on in her life atm, but she will write/call me when shes free.
So what do i do now?
I'm living in a foreign country. A local woman who is cute as fuck seems very strongly interested in teaching me the local language.
Think I can have sex with her in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation while holding hands after marriage?
Right. But i cant stop thinking, should i say it to her in any form that i want her back (i didnt say it so far to her), or is it kinda obvious?
I just dont want to end up as friends, and i want her to know that.
I would not, personally. She's clearly dealing with her own shit. That's why she's putting you on the backburner. Confessing will make you feel better, but it could burden her more.
Who knows texting? A girl I know uses this a lot.
Any particular meaning?
How can you tell the difference between
>I'm in a bad mood with a shitty day, please leave me alone for a bit
>I'm in a bad mood because of your bothering, get the hint already
This girl has a lot of shitty days she tells me about in detail, and most of them actually make sense. Yet I can't shake off the feeling that she's giving shitty responses because I'm harassing her. It's a LOT of shitty days, after all