This is hella fucked /adv/. My ex just messaged me telling me she's preg and it's mine. She lied and told me she was infertile all through our relationship. She said she was planning on giving it to adoption and if she keeps it she won't force me to be a part of the kid's life. She won't abort. I'm 18 and she's 17, we aren't ready to have kids. I want nothing to do with this kid. What do and what can I expect? Pic related
Maybe not now... But watch out because she can still tag you down the line.... and it will probably be more inconvenient for you. Expect to have to get a paternity test somewhere down the line; expect to pay child support
Well, I don’t know where you live but if you were in my jurisdiction you would be entitled to a DNA test to determine paternity. If it is your child then regardless of what your ex says you will be required to pay support. This means reimbursing the state if she collects welfare. If the child is adopted then your financial obligations are ended. On the personal side you may find yourself changing your mind about the baby when the child is born.
There is something about seeing those curious little eyes and feeling that child in your arms that changes a man. So, be prepared for some financial responsibility and the possibility that you may love this child regardless of the circumstances of its conception. Many is the father who thought hearing those words “I’m pregnant” was the worst thing in the world only to find out later that is was the best. Blessings my young friend. Do not fear. You will be able to handle whatever fate throws at you.
I might try this. I'm honestly feeling the worst I ever have in my life, and it keeps getting worse. No way I can do six months of this shit
Just asked her dad, he told me she was lying
A doctor told her when she went in for some sickness or some shit
Ok? A doctor, her dad, and her thought she was infertile. That doesnt mean she lied. She was told she couldnt have kids, so YOU and her figured you didnt need protection. There are plenty of ppl that have a doctor say that they cant have kids but end up having them anyways. Shouldnt believe doctors. Your both at fault.
Depending on what family the child goes to, in foster care, their life could be a living hell. I was in foster care and it is one of the worst experiences of my life. I do not recommend foster care unless you think she will be a worse mother than the foster parents.
No matter what she says, you have to assume that she WILL come after you. If you just take her word then she changes her mind, you'll be fucked. So to avoid surprise child support payments you need to be involved.
If she goes the adoption route, be there IN PERSON for as many meetings as possible. Get your signature and a date on everything and KEEP COPIES.
If she decides to keep it, be involved as much as possible. Try to get as close to a 50/50 custody split as humanly possible. If she ends up having the child the majority of the time and then decided to come after you for money, she WILL WIN, and she WILL get back payments.
Even if she signs a notarized letter absolving you of all parental responsibilities, you will still lose in court. If she ever has to get on govt assistance, you will be required to pay up.
>Even if she signs a notarized letter absolving you of all parental responsibilities, you will still lose in court. If she ever has to get on govt assistance, you will be required to pay up.
This is true. She can change her mind at any moment. If she wants to take you to court, the state represents her for free in many states, and you need to hire an attorney.
He didn't, when we were together and I was still uneasy about her being infertile she made up some shit about how I couldnt ask her dad directly and mentioned it in a joke and he agreed. I didnt want to push it anymore because she cried every time I did
Okay. Well. This chick is insane. Sorry OP, you're fucked, you can't trust that she's going to be reasonable.
Do you have evidence that she lied to you, texts and shit? I don't know the law, but I'd assume things might go a little better for you if push comes to shove if you can prove that she directly misled you.
At the end of the day, child support is all about supporting the child, not the parent, so it might make no difference, but still.
Wrong. You obviously havent been in foster care. I would of rather my mother abort me than to go through that shit again.
I have been raped, molested twice, been starved, had SUPER religious foster parents, been abused, and no one cared about me.
So no, i dont believe its better.
>"See their morals, their "code," it's a bad joke; dropped at the first sign of trouble.
So I mean it's obvious SJW don't even believe their own bullshit, so what can we infer from that, are they just terrible, manipulative sociopaths who indulge in playing the victim?
She can get you for child support, at any time. That said, you SHOULD support the child. It's yours.
Be in the kid's life, help them to grow up better. Why abandon the child, it didn't have any choice being born to 2 teenagers.
Step the fuck up and be responsible.
>Step the fuck up and be responsible
You're the reason the world needs MGTOW. Anon consented to have recreational sex with a girl who led him to believe she was infertile. He should not be expected to derail his life because some dumb bitch can't get an abortion or failing that, give it up for adoption, which, by the way, is the only sane choice at their age; she's not only decided to cripple any attempts either of them might have at making something of themselves, but pretty much setting this kid up to fail, as well. She's making an extremely selfish, emotional decision that will have very real, very negative effects on the lives of three people.
Her body. Her choice. Should be her responsibility. If she or her parents are moralfagging over the idea of termination, let it be their problem.
Holy shit gynocentrism is draconian.
Being not born is not the same as being dead.
Are you killing people every time you jack off and avoid having a baby?
It is inexcusable to bring a life into the world just to dump it off on someone who'll abuse it.
I think that a man should be able to sign away custody if he doesn't want the child.
But that's not the world we live in.
She is having a child, he SHOULD help support it.
The woman is clearly a manipulative bitch, but what did the child do? Nothing.
Wanting to stay alive is completely different from knowing it would have been better to not have been born. And what anon wants is immaterial anyway, that has no impact on the fact that the decision to leave him in foster care was a poor one.
If someone abuses their kid, and the kid channels that pain into brilliant art and goes on to become amazingly successful and happy, the abuser doesn't suddenly get a medal for being a piece of shit just because it happened to turn out well. They're still just a piece of shit.
If anon is happy with his life, that doesn't change the fact that allowing him life was a poor decision.
But a fetus isn't necessarily a person either. They get miscarried all the time, becoming a lump of useless bloody cells. I don't consider it a person unless it could live on its own outside of the body, like at maybe 6 months or something.
>it would have been better to not have been born
And what miracle would have occurred it you werent born?
>If anon is happy with his life, that doesn't change the fact that allowing him life was a poor decision.
This is the most sickening mentality Ive ever heard.
Youre right though. Hitler thought the same thing. Jews were a mistake.
My point is that I would feel shitty about throwing away a crying premature baby, but I wouldn't feel shitty about scraping out a lump of cells. Maybe this is splitting hairs, but it depends on how you define life. To me, it doesn't have life until it has a heartbeat, to you it has life the moment of conception, and maybe to someone else sperm has life because it can move and requires nutrients.
I'm not the original anon you were arguing with anyway, so I guess I don't care if you win this argument. I'm honestly just popping popcorn, waiting to see what OP will do.
>My point is that I would feel shitty about throwing away a crying premature baby
This is the worst part. Its because they dont have a voice to defend themselves with that you dont have a problem throwing them away.
But every time you jack off, aren't you intentionally throwing away potential babies with no voice? They're all potential babies, and so are the eggs that a girl ejects every month with her period (but at least that's involuntary).
When you use a condom or a girl uses birth control, you're throwing away sperm and eggs, and they can't fight back.
So why is every other form of contraception okay but early abortion is not? What is so special about that clump of cells that doesn't even have a heartbeat?
you're pretty much boned, even if she says you don't have to be a part of the kid's life or if she's not going to pursue child support.
your best bet is to bank on a negative paternity test, a miscarriage, her putting the kid up for adoption, or moving to a country that doesn't expedite child support payments
What does this even mean. Its starts with conception. The moment the child is on its way. Its not potential anymore. Its just as much of a child as any other. Just less developed.