Hope you stay positive. Remember the story about the elderly neighbour sharing apples with a girl?
Hi, B. It's been a while and I think of you everyday ever since you left. I guess things are gonna be like that. Sometimes I think things are gonna be like that forever. I've been feeling so many crazy things but I won't run from them no more. It doesn't matter if I'm afraid. Everything changed inside of me, I'm thankful for all I get to see since you've been gone.
I was a rusty tap and you made me flow like spring. I am the deer you lured out of these woods. I was the monster but please don't make me hide anymore. I understand why we can't be. It doensn't matter, I can keep on loving you forever. I am the beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega. But you are everything.
Hi boys of /adv/,
Stop being whiny pussies. Women are no different than you, they're just as vulnerable, just as strong. If you want to meet a girl, stop being a fucking pussy and ask "what would her grandfather do?" because really, when it all comes down to it ... you becoming a man is all most women are looking for.
I miss you, dad. Wish we could just talk one more time.
To C and C
I miss you both. I know I could have made a better effort to see you but I dont think its a good idea to see J. My friends don't want me to see her and they've helped me the most through all this. I would really like play with you guys again some day. I hope you guys are being treated well.
Love you both,
Today was dull, annoying, and frustrating.
But because we got to talk it was without a doubt the best day I've had since before Christmas. I didn't realise how much I'd missed you. Yay.
It feels so good when we're together. You're the best thing my life right now. You make me excited for the future.
I just can't stop smiling.
Dear Ex Girlfriend/Friend,
I am sorry (again) for acting like a asshole. I am sorry for treating you and everyone like shit. I know we can't be friends again, and the deeply tears me apart. Because everyday I think of you. Everyday I think of the mistakes I made, forcing you to deal with my bullshit.
You gave me some of the happiest moments in my life. I'm sorry for giving you this letter but I just want you know I feel before going into my surgery.
You will realize that you can't keep holding on and putting your life on hold just because he MIGHT come back one day. That's why you love putting people on hold. You're just waiting for him to show him how much you've grown and changed because you fantasize he would fall in love again.
You know you're hurting us, but people like me want closure and we will leave and turn on stronger thanks to you. You're hurting yourself more than us.
Ps. I'm outside looking at the stars. You should do the same. They look special today, don't know why.
You have beautiful eyes. I hope you didn't mind me looking. At least I didn't get lost in them.
I'm lying in bed crossing my ankles and squirming because love feels so good and I am so fucking obviously in love with you.
This is terrible.
While we were apart I was so sad. But I thought to myself: this is not a good love, you need to stop this, distance will help, yes it hurts but that's alright, be strong, you can move on.
I took all of five minutes today for you to sweep all of that away. All of my resolve, and all of my sadness.
I'm not strong when it comes to you, I am a love-struck fool. And I love being in love. And I love you.
I love you and your beautiful eyes.
since we have been friends for 3 years i have had the biggest crush on you for all of it. all of our times together were always special to me. Even when i felt like an outsider or i wasnt included you were always nice and there for me. everytime i see you i just want to kiss you and say thank you for being the nicest person to me through all of my rough times, my venting about depression, my other relationship problems, and never complaining about it. we have experienced a lot together, through band, class, etc. i never felt this way about anyone else.
I love you,
I'm sorry for tagging along like a bitch only to act like one in the end. I'm just insecure and I just have make sure I somewhat matter. I'm just feeling insecure and useless in your life so I'll figure what's the best way to be in your life other than being a selfish negative person. I've been stubborn and I think I'm always right. I just wish you found out how much of a fake friend I am.
I only hang out with you to relay things with Mark and Brian. How dare you cut us off, well we think you did that's why we're pissed. How can you even be genuinely nice to people you fucking worthless Dipshit. Yeah you never talked bad about any of us in person but you think you're better than us? You think you don't belong in this shit we all wallow in? You're not shit and you never will be anything in your life. I won't stop trying to fuck with you because I need something to fix my emotional holes in life.
Yeah I might be gossiping like a girl but please understand it's because I'd rather do that than to realize what was wrong with me in the first place.
>ITT: Write a letter to someone who will never read it.
>start thinking someone is communicating with them in here
>please post initials to confirm unrequited love or paranoia
Most of these are bait or are meant to be lessons. It's 4chan after all.
To add in retrospect, it wasn't even a friendship I just tried to invite you into my business and was going to dump you if you didn't join. Truth be told you changed me and if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have reconnected with all the relationships damaged by my shennagangs.
Thanks friend and have a great year. Sorry for everything false and things I have said that were untrue. It's all my fault due to you being an asshole as well. You weren't an asshole, I was too and glad we both learned from each other even if I brought you down to my level first.
Be back to who you were and prosper spock.
Why does it hurt being unwanted and yet thinking men still want me. All I can do now is plead for their attention by being a cunt... What happened to me when it was all my fault to being with... You shouldn't have left me... But you wouldn't have been happy with me either way. It's not you its me.
Here's one I found
Amen brother or sister.
I don't agree with the narcissism here but the most level headed approach is to just not say a word and move on. There's no point in revenge, just live your life and be happy. If someone is angry at you, it's mostly because they'll either be that or depressed. Most people are indifferent until you give them a reason to like you or judge you for being different. Like turns to dislike because of expectations and love turns to hate eventually.
The best course of action is to take a step back and use your positive or negative energy to move yourself foward with those you want in your life,
That's what I did sure I can been seen as an asshole or whatever but thats only fair since I judge people or don't care to judge them enough.
Be a friend to yourself first or go on a I don't give a fuck. Personally I'm killing myself because I'm full of shit too.
I know this feeling all too well but I'm a coward and I don't want to feel that stinging pain of rejection again. I don't know how confident women deal with these things. I'm a woman but I might be overlooking issues I'm not fixing within myself.
I'm schizophrenic, bipolar and histrionic which makes all my relationships a one sided nightmare. This is all due to my traumatic past that I will never be able to get over. I keep thinking people are out to get me and there are ghosts and ex's after me. In reality I want this fantasy more than ever. Id rather have it than be clinically depressed with my entire situation. I haven't seen my psychiatrist in a long time and I only find solace posting in these threads. Everyone in my life feels sorry or hates me but in reality they just want no drama. I can't help myself however.
Thank you for making these threads.
I'm not just a pest in your eyes, I look out for your little shithole paradise for you when you take care of my step sister and stepmom. When you come home you almost beat me but she always saves me. You don't know how much I suffer here in this building. I'm not your skinny pet, I hate having to go outside to smoke, I hate hearing fapping and sex noises. I hate hiding here doing nothing but drink alcohol and smoke cigs. All these sick people coughing and dragging their broken legs sleeping everywhere.Fucking idiots don't care about my misophonia. I've been suffering for years and it's made me paranoid. You hate me but they haven't complained yet out of pity. I had to call for justice and lie to my teeth. Everything is piling up and if I die from lung cancer then please cremate me.
I know that we had a rough relationship. Since you broke it off, I would sit back and kick myself thinking it was something that I did wrong. Truth is, it wasn't me. It was you. You gave me so may clues that I missed until recently. Looking back over everything I remember one point you got quiet, very quiet. You wouldn't talk. Eventually you started to talk again and told me you push those you care about away because you would rather hurt them before they ever got the chance to hurt you. I still have that text saved on my phone. Then on the ride home from skydiving, you stated again, love is pointless. This is one of the only times with you that I would openly disagree with you. You built your walls so damn high, you are strangling yourself and taking the joy out of your own life. It explains the drinking problem, drug abuse, the depression and anxiety.
You were born a vessel flowing with authentic and abundant love. Then something, I don't know what, happened. Maybe you weren't cared for the way you could have been. You did not get the attention you craved. Someone pointed at, judged, ridiculed, and rejected you. Callous words and selfish acts left you sad and scared. You were burned, crushed, embarrassed, shamed, or smothered by cruel intentions and warped forms of selfish love. So, you began the long, hard work of closing off your heart, protecting your souls light, building a high wall around what you're capable of feeling and giving.
Soon, you allowed only a few people, those deemed safe, to peer above this thick, cold, impenetrable wall. Even to those chosen few you offer only tiny glimpses of what you really have to give, measuring out how much you should show them, how much you'd allow your heart to light up for someone, when and if at all you'd give yourself permission to say life's three most important words.
Over time the wall of protection you built has become so impervious and so forbidding that it has blocked out the one thing the wall was built to protect: love
I hope you let yourself feel love this coming year. Yes, it can be painful. It can also be quite wonderful.
I miss you!
Many years ago today- I tried to kill myself. It didn't work (obviously) and normally Im happy about that but right now... Everything seems kind of pointless and I don't wanna die, but I'm not big on living either.
my misophonia and my dad is a criminal is making everything worse. He wears the sketchiest clothing. He's gonna get us into trouble one day when this shit hits the fan. He's just laughing and can't even afford a house. We're just distracting ourselves from how our lives are so fucked up. Mom I'm not anorexic and my lung cancer is getting better.
Ever since we met, I had a feeling that you were different from the others. Your sense of dark humor cheers me up, and you're quite optimistic about life, despite recent events. I think you already know this, but I'm starting to fall in love with you. We connect pretty well to each other and have a lot in common! I don't care if others see you as some "cold, unemotional psychopath", you're better than that. I mean come on, you're a literal angel! If you ever find my post about you here on this site, maybe tell me how you feel?
I write to myself because I'm worthless and a literal psychopath who cannot bear children. All the men I fuck behind you call me dolphin from the way I talk so much and yet have nothing to show for it.
I keep missing you. In the dead of the night is when it gets unbearable. Oh sweet irony of things, you've never been closer to me than now you've been gone. I am sorry for everything I did not see. I am. Sorry for all the kisses and hugs that never came to be. But I do see it now, and I know everything had to happen just the way it did. When I was least expecting it you showed me what love is. My heart is betting on you with all its might and I tried pleading with it but it won't listen to reason at all. All the great love stories are sad ones after all. This is the winter I was talking about.
I love you. So genuinely. My heart aches and squeezes when you say you love me back.
You are so wonderful. You're going to do fine on the exam, and if it doesn't work out (which I doubt) you have a second chance. You can pick it back up. There's always another plan.
I'm here to back you up. I'm your partner and best friend, and I'm so fucking proud to be apart of you life.
I'm tired of having misophonia and being in the closet for so long. I'll probably deny it with my other replies but my anorexia and cigarette addiction will set me free. I love these threads for its word porn.
Please don't break my heart. It was so easy to fall for you. I can't get you off my mind, it's driving me insane. How do you see me? Should we have talked about what happened? Were my lips not sweet enough that night? Tell me how you feel, I'm so confused. One day I feel this indestructible lightness, the next I'm too afraid to think of your face because of the stinging in my chest. Was this all a test? A lie? I'm not very good at games. The next time I see you, I will smile at your grin. Please know that inside, I am afraid.
It isn't fair to have let me taste your tongue and then hold it in silence while I sit here and try to fit the pieces of your puzzle together. I need a hint. I'm not very good at games...
Perhaps, I am oblivious too.
I'm sorry Chris, David, and Gabe.
What I did was fucked up. I know.
But it was a year ago and I think about it constantly.
I don't know if it's right to forgive myself when you wouldn't, but I feel that if I don't, it'll keep eating at me.
And if you read this out of some crazy coincidence, please talk to me.
Hi grandpa. I hope you got my last letter. I love you. Thanks for loving us and for making my mom and for raising her so she could raise me the way she did. I will always miss that story about the violin teacher you always used to tell. I wish I could remember it well enough to tell my grandchildren one day. I wish I could have said goodbye, but I think you knew what I meant.
Rest well, I hope there is a bowling alley in hwaven.
At least have the decency to save yourself from your own madness L. You started this with it and got everyone to jump. You disgust me, if only your co workers and friends knew you and what you did you psychopath. You twisted everything around to make yourself the good person. Don't we all want to be good while stabbing everyone in the back. Even your family and M just tolerate you because of history. Your business turned you into a sociopath... L.
Fuck you and I hate you to this day. I'm tired of living this god damn damage day in and day out fucking up every fucking relationship I get into. No one want's to be with some suffocating unstable guy who is way too clingy for his own good. And then when I try to act like a normal person your fucking damage fucks with my mind because when they don't talk to me I'll lose my fucking shit like now they hate me and they want me to suffer by being away from them.
You just had to fucking ignore me all those times, turning your back towards me, not even looking me in the eye, so you can use me for a quick fix for your sexual frustration or a free ride. Not even acknowledging my god damn existence like I didn't matter at all, like all those fucking years we spent together was nothing and meaningless.
I'm talking to a nice girl right now who isn't in a good spot and instead of being understanding and patient, I'm fucking chimping out wanting to scream at her to notice me and validate that I exist instead of ignoring me because shes sad. All I have in my mind is this god awful knee-jerk reaction that the reason she is ignoring me is because she hates me and doesn't want me around anymore unless shes in the mood to talk to me once or twice a week, and I'm fucking tired of this conditioning.
Been resolved in that other thread some pyramid scheme that turns people into sociopaths and psychopaths apparently. Looked up some vids and its eerily like a cult. If they get rich then sure, looks like a religion to me though.
You get to sit around all day in your house at the age of 24 as a fucking high school drop out at the age of 15, you spent ALMOST 10 years of your fucking life in that one room, being a god damn NEET with not a single job, and you get to pretend to be a poor wittle vitcim and how the world has it out for YOU.
You fucking have some god awful borderline personality disorder that makes you view yourself as some pure god, and everyone is a peasant unless you can see with your bullshit "divine" eyes that they are pure. But then 2 years later you will say "oh lol you aren't pure you are a scumbag!"
I have to work, bust my ass to pay for college, get by with the grace of my father whose willing to house me while I try to get my shit going, and meanwhile I don't even want this bullshit.
All I want in my fucking life is love, and I can't even have the one thing I NEED to get by in this world, because any relationship I touch after dating you turned you garbage within months because I can't handle my psychopathic instability of not being near my lover 6 hours a day or more.
I fucking can't even have the one thing I desire most in this world, because you fucked my mind in such a god awful way that I can't even unfuck it and it fucks with every attempt I make at romance.
No woman wants a guy like me, fucking no one. People are patient and shit sure, but no one likes dealing with this garbage, they like their own space and I can't handle that. No one wants me.
As a fellow E, hope everything gets better for you. Woman will like you, just not if you think that way. Be positive, I went through the same things and it's a learning experience. I realized that life is good and you should be positive, so you can open yourself up to positive opportunities. Negative situations are easy if you're logical and positive. Just don't expectations on anyone or even yourself and just go for it. Strive to Grow together with her and be honest.
Don't be with bad friends, I'm looking through these threads and it's a reminder.
I try to be positive, I really do. But it's just awful, like I said right now this girl is pretty sad over shenanigans out of my control. But just like my last romance, the girl when she gets depressed/sad isolates herself from people and she isolates herself from me.
To the point where she wont even reply to my messages at this point, and being an unstable fucker with like this need in the back of my mind to act out to get attention because that is what I had to do to get my bitch ex to finally stop giving me the cold shoulder.
So all I know how to do is sit here, and brood while my reaction is telling me "act out like an asshole, when you act like a cunt she won't ignore you!"
I just need to find someone who doesn't shut me out at every turn and accepts me as being a suffocating lover, and actually enjoy it. Which is more rare than you would expect.
Least you're in the right place to vent. That's not really an issue as people do their own things. You'll learn that eventually. When someone has problems just listen to them and offer your company. If someone is being an adshole then it's your call how you want to handle that. Personally I keep it 50/50, just avoid getting into drama and arguments you lose whenever you're in them anyway.
They're not the only person and you aren't neither. Anyways good luck with "K" and take care.
Oh, it's sad enough for this board believe me. Can't be with that person because of other person.
Actually saying those words in person would just bring pain to us both. But at least I can say them here and be honest with myself about how strong my feelings are.
Life is pretty wonderful, and also pretty terrible.
it's been a while, I know. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even think about me anymore and yet from time to time, I wonder what you're up to.
It's hard not to associate this place with you, I always see stuff on here or even in real life that I wish I could link you or tell you about and we could have a laugh. I even see your face in people sometimes, or see a dress that I could picture you in. I remember this smirk you gave me one time at my house, blehh- idk, pathetic I suppose. It's not like its disturbing my progression in life or even pursuing other relationships either. I just...miss you... as a person. I felt like we got along quite nice, I'm still not completely sure on why it ended so poorly. I'll admit we both weren't in the best spots in life, man, I was such a faggot at times! a learning experience for sure but I feel like I've improved and I'm sure you have too. also I hope you're still pursuing your art...you're very talented.
I guess this is me reaching out and if by chance you come across this perhaps you can reach back. don't leave me hanging!! It can't be that bad, right?
Sometimes anon you have to learn when to lose when it comes to a women. You either walk away or you find one that will tolerate your bullshit and you'll tolerate and manage her anxieties as well.
Saying that means a lot anon, wish you luck and hope your love comes back to you. Life is bittersweet indeed. Goodbyes are the hardest.
I seriously can't figure out if you are trying to bait something that isn't there by acting so stupid to get a response or you are just severely confused about things and you are basing everything off a fact that isn't a fact.
Don't pull me back and do this all over again. I don't think this is normal anymore. I'm assured that you have already said what you could have and it's time for me to let you go because I love you. I have to smile, be happy with your new man and hope you wish the same for me. I don't own you and you don't own me. Be free kitty I'll miss you.
Everyone is wrong at one point but why do this... I don't get you... You complicate things when you shouldn't and its on me to be there for you... I want to get you... Just tell me what it is.
You texted me about how you didn't want this to fuck up the friendship, how you still wanted it to stay the same.
What you don't get is it was never just a friendship to me. I was giving you a free trial of how awesome I am and I'm sorry I failed to give you any tinglies.
Our friendship is fucked. We both know it. And I know you want to do all you can to salvage it, to have everything continue as it was, but I couldn't do that. And it's better now than later because my feelings would have just kept ramping up.
Our friendship will be different because you aren't a priority anymore. I won't make any more plans for lunches or dinners. Because you're a waste of my time now. You're a sweet, interesting, beautiful girl but there's people that suit my needs way better than you.
I know it's not your fault, it's mine. I wish I could understand why I'm so unattractive. Why I keep repeating this, being interested in a girl and asking her out, getting the "Our friendship is so great I don't want this to change things."
Maybe it is time to try red pill or something. Einstein defined Insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. At this point I must be insane.
I really thought it was right this time. Felt like it did with my ex.
I wish I could understand why everyone wants so desperately to be my friend but doesn't want to invest any time into me. Why am I such a fucking human tampon, just used and thrown away.
Why doesn't anyone have an answer for what the fuck I'm doing wrong and how to fix it.
I didn't break up with you because your bipolar. I broke up with you because you have depression, PTSD and wouldn't do dick about it even after you cut your legs to absolute shit. You fuck like a sack of potatoes. You really expect someone to think of marring someone who works all fucking day and yells at you for being tired. Honestly your crazy and a fucking bitch.
That's why you'll never read this because your toxic and I don't want or need you in my life anymore.
Honestly some of these people are bitter because of an awful breakup. Give it a bit. Right now I'm hating a lot of things cause my ex basically ruined it for me.
Also usually man hating doesn't work cause we hear it a lot of times. The whole no directions to macho shit after that shit you just don't care.
there's no way you're the person I'm talking about, unless you're T, and even then, you were never known to go on this site, so I doubt it's you. doesn't even sound like something T would say,
I just want to be your friend. Nothing more. I want a decent reliable man to be my partner but keep you as my best friend. I know you'll never agree to just friends so I stay in this relationship and hope you'll grow up.
Why don't you tell him how you feel. You want him to be an adult but you're still acting like the child. Lay your cards on the table, full honesty, thats what a relationship is built on. Tell him you love him but if he doesn't sort it you'll have to go.
T.D.L.S., you and only you. I think about you endlessly. Not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind. The years that we had were different than most. Because of you I am what I am today. I don't know if you were really you, in your own skin. Our ways of communication started to fade. Our love was strong and now it's vanished. We don't even talk, you won't allow it. I left without a word, and now that I want to come back I know I can't. To cope with this pain not a drug in the world makes you go away. I want closure but will never receive it, I need you closer one more time so I can believe it. You were my world and I was hopefully yours. My anxiety driven, panic stricken and broken down mind moulded perfectly with yours. Not a day goes by... I will die with your memories fading away in my thoughts. My dying breath with be silence, because I want to die next to you. You were my light, and you guided me through the darkness. This is sad that I'm doing this, but if you see this please call me, message me or anything. I'll tell you why I left and leave it at that. I know you want to know.
BGK aka your polar bear
Your existence to me has transformed so many times i've lost count. Your selfishness and delusional perspective to life is crippling to my life and you've done nothing but ruin my life.
Maybe it isn't fair to blame you entirely, maybe i'm just afraid to admit it's equally my own. Since i've met you you've spiralled my life into a progressively worse state. I've sacrificed so much towards so little. The fact you consider so little for my own regards over your own is incredible -- whether it's a result of your mentally delusional state that i contributed to or it's a right you're entitled to that i'm being selfish over, i don't know. I don't know anything anymore. The logical and collected man you fell for is broken and i'm a complete fucking mess.
I pray you are able to come to the same reasonable conclusion as i, and hide my entire existence to the unborn child you're carrying.
From the man who made you the monster you are today.
To the Jon who reads my letters-
You're not him, but on the off chance you are, the next time you see the girl you met at the diner drinking where you work now, cut her loose if you're not interested. Or just hand off your number to her if you are.
She already tried. Aiight? Aiight.
Hey! Let's wait like another year before meeting up again! There will be more anticipation and we'll like eachother more! Maybe we can date in hell/heaven! But what if I go to hell and you go to heaven? HUh? Ever thought about that? No, you didn't huh ya crazy skank!? Action! Cut.
Why the fuck do I always check up on you? It makes me sad because it reminds me of how beautiful you are and that I could never be with you. I tried to forget about you, I really have. I'm thinking of leaving my life behind because I'm nothing without you. I hate that I love you so much when you don't love me. It kills me every single fucking day. I feel empty without you. If every person disappeared from this earth I'll only ever miss you.
Aleanna. You said it yourself that you're making a fool out of yourself because of your boyfriend and yet you're still doing it. I looked highly of you. And you threw it all away because of your boyfriend who asked for a fucking PS3 on his birthday. He doesn't even exert effort like you want in a guy.
You deserve someone better. It might be me.
I love you still.
I never really got to know you, but from what i saw, you were a genuinely good and kind person, you were someone who had their shit together and I never thought that out of all the people around me that I thought I could fall for, it would be you. If I'd had what it takes I wouldnt be typing this message, and I can see now that you probably knew that this sort of feeling is something that is worth more than anything else, that its what can sustain you despite everything. You made me want to care when I didnt care if today was my last. Living with this is painful, but its most painful because i feel like i let you down, and yet, day after day, I just keep leaving things as they are. This message is something Im writing because I dont want to talk about it. But I like the idea that maybe what Ive written will be useful to someone?
I only did it because I have no joy in my life besides of thinking about you. Thr copious amounts of drugs that I do and my failed business makes me look at these threads for a sign of you. I'll smile knowing you're still there when I pretend to be you. You'll say I'm a faggot and you'll be right for saying that. I only bring her up in the discussion to prove that something that's still a part of my life can be used as a weapon against you. I know you don't look for her or me or any of us anymore and it hurts. We didn't want this, we just didn't know how to be mature and in the end we end up sabotaging all our relationships through this very same method.
I'm sorry friend, if only you cooperated and stayed in our lives. If only you listened instead of thinking you'll be worth something when you never will amount to anything. You're a piece of shit like us and we will always be around to fuck with you. We'll always be around to remind you of her and use her as a tool against you, it might be petty but it beats sitting around twiddling our thumbs doing nothing. And if you already found a girl which we know you already may have then I'll make sure he comes around to ask you how you are. Ill be here to fuck with you and remind you that you will never amount to anything you piece of shit loser. You'll always be one of us.
-CJ, AJ, A, M & Bri
It's not the end for us. Not yet. There's still a sliver of hope. For you, for me, there's a light at the end of that tunnel.
If I survive the winter, we'll have our little shot at happiness. If I don't, I know you'll move on and find someone to love even more. I want to fight and live to see another year, but sometimes I just feel so weak. You deserve someone stronger than I am, but I'll keep fighting, alright?
And next year, when I finally have the money, we're moving somewhere warmer so I never get sick again.
I don't know how to articulate my emotions, and I don't even know how I feel towards you anymore. Sometimes I crave you and other times you infuriate me to the point where I want to punch a wall. I don't understand you. I don't understand me.
I can swing from high to low and back again faster than you can cross your arms over your chest and oh my god the way your waist leads to your hips is amazing and I didn't mean to stare but I did and I'm not sorry and you're beautiful and I wish I could just eat you or hold you forever or ok stop now just stop.
I keep telling myself that yes, my mood is affected by you and whether I've seen you or spoken with you, so I should be aware of that and try to keep calm. And then something like today happens and I'm completely taken off guard. Again. Sometimes I wish that I didn't feel this way about you and that I could be free - but mostly I'm just getting off on the buzz that you give me. It's torture and I love it. You're torture and I love you.
And damn, you looked good today.
"You don't talk to her about us, do you?"
...I didn't really answer that question. Because I know she wouldn't like the answer. This is the closest I've come to a flat out lie, and it does not feel good. But then again, if I told the truth ('yeah, I've told her all about our problems. She knows how miserable I've been and how much we've drifted apart. She's the one that talked me into trying again even though I'd given up on you, on us, and I'm only doing this because I trust her and believe that she genuinely has my best interests at heart') then that would not feel good either.
I don't want to put you into an awkward situation. I value your friendship more than anything else.
Watch me dig.
If that was you that called me, and hung up after sayin' "hello" a little before christmas, call me again.
I try to hide it well, but I'm friggin' fallin' for you. To be honest, I rarely get a chance to talk to you anymore, so it was nice to see you today.
I'm sure you won't read this for a few days or if ever. I know sometimes you lurk these threads from what you said. I half-heartedly hope you read this a bit, maybe not. I don't know anymore. I need to say something that I didn't have the heart to tell you directly because I didn't want to hurt you.
I wish you didn't ignore me. I wish you wanted to talk to me when you were sad. I know it's awful and I didn't want to say it to you directly, I didn't want to tell you I didn't like this about you. I know how it feels when someone tells you that they don't like a flaw about you and they want you to change it. But everything else... I would have been okay with if I could have just talked to you every day. Talk to you in skype calls, through text, anything so I could feel close to you and let you know I loved being by your side no matter your emotional state.
I mean you know about my past and the way I am. My ex has fucked with me a lot, given me a lot of insecurities and problems. My biggest which I never got to tell you was that she would fuck with me by ignoring me knowing I hated it. She would keep doing this until I had an emotional outburst knowing I was hurt by this action and then stop. In my mind when we stopped talking, all I wanted to do was have an outburst and scream at you to talk to me. But I know this would have added to your problems already. I just feel powerless and I hate it. I wanted you but I needed to get into your life. I'm sorry.
Hey, listen, it's ok. I wouldn't have been attracted to me either. I've been acting attractive lately. But you should have just rejected me. Instead you basically bullied me out of spite I guess. I don't like that. If you were quality, you have been sad I acted like a chump, but you would have just moved on. What you did just communicates really bad things about you. So if I ever do become attractive again, believe it or not, I used to be once, I will remember how you've acted, if you decide to knock on my door. I don't think you make good relationship material. You seem like a sweet girl, you really do. But how you've acted was beyond low. And I literally didn't know you had it in you. I hope you'll be nicer to the next guy you consider dating.
Anon, you sound like someone I know. Very few people tall like that. Chin up, head high. You don't have to think about summer because when it gets here you can enjoy one last time. If you're anything like the person I'm missing, you need to start being hard headed about living life, not everything else. Push on and move out anon, get to that warmth that you've needed for far too long.
I know the fight all too well, many of my family members and one of my exes. Push, please.
Instead of wishing for this "former friend" to kill themselves, focus on your own life. You were cut out of one because of how you acted, focus on living your own life instead of needing to harass another. Just because you stab friends in the back to the point that you need to blog about being lonely while having a ton around you doesn't mean you're suddenly righteous and worthy of someone killing themselves.
Instead of wishing someone dead, grow the fuck up and focus on the guy who is giving you the attention you've desperately sought for so long.
You're just as bad as your father, you just had more kids to spread the abuse around. I fantasize about murdering you often. I hope you die first so I don't see you at Mom's funeral. May your twilight years be coloured by regret.
I don't really have a squad I just have a small group of people who only get together with me when we're all in a group, never want to go through the trouble of coming to my house so I always have to go see them, and generally never seek out conversation with me on their own.
Like, do friends like those portrayed in media even exist? Do people actually get together just because? Do people just show up at your house like "hey, let's hang out, surprise!" Will I ever have friends who initiate conversation on their own and don't leave me feeling like I'm not bothering them or like I have to scramble to keep the conversation going without it being forced or weird? We had a guy in our friendgroup who used to be weird and awkward and no one wanted to be around him-- have I turned into that role now? Seriously?
If you fucking care about me like you say you do why don't you fucking talk to me or come to MY house for a change? If I'm really surrounded by friends who love and support me, why do I so often feel so lonely?
Some anon help me, jfc
That was my why to my life. Drop the second s and you have something that is the only thing I feel besides anger, hate and malice. All of my feelings are the same. I get a lump in my chest, whether it's trying to feel happy, was, angry, chilled out, annoyed. Everything comes back to just a lump in my chest. Not an emotional feeling. Everything is very physical. I can honestly say I miss people but I don't know if I'm so deep into my egotistical mannerisms that it's a defense from people finding out what I truly could be. I'm usually very mellow but when things don't go my way, instant gratification is always needed. Anger fuels my hatred, the hatred fuels my malice. I sound like a fucking emo scenie who cries about everything, but I'm coming to the realization that it's a possibility. The only thing that has triggered deep emotions are the loves ones that I've lost, then I cry in confusion because I don't understand the emotion that I'm feeling. It's always, in one form or the other, a lump, in my chest.
I'm sure I wish I'm sorry,
that somewhere along the line
you, Kristen, will be there.
I know I half-heartedly convey this message,
(heartless product of a bit of thread):
I hope I don't know I didn't want to hurt you.
I wish... I know.
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.
A direct flaw, awful to ignore.
Talking to encryption compels
emotional states to extinction.
I mean, I am my ex.
me, a lot of problems.
My biggest "I never!":
run with me, by ignoring me,
knowing I hated it.
I had a cascading overflow--
I was hurt by this action.
When we stopped talking in my mind
all I wanted was to
fill to brimming again
and not stop pouring.
Adding screaming to your problems
feels powerless. I hate
that I needed you.
I, Eric, want to be sorry
to be in your life.
I have been really trying to be with you, but you seem not to care. You know, stereotypically you go hang with your squad everyday, talk stuff that might piqued my interest, and other shit that I can do but I'm socially awkward. The first time you smiled, you are too fucking cute. Fuck you.
But, I love you.
Empathy is a limited commodity.
I've developed too much of it. And you, too little.
I want this to work and be friends again, but something's turned you into a cold asshole and you won't even talk to a single person about your emotions. You don't really want friends to truely be there for one another and be able to talk about anything, because that makes you frustrated when I talk about my issues to you. You don't care. You wan't fake friends. The kind who only want to hang out with you and laugh and have fun, not when they're upset or having an emotional struggle. That's too much for you to handle, because you're "too busy" and it's "exhausting."
What fucking happened to you? You weren't this way a year ago. Or even a month ago.
I wish I had the old you back. I wish you had the old you back. And I wish you weren't such a cruel person to me sometimes when all I want is a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell me I'll be okay. Instead you say "I'm going to sleep. There's nothing I can say to you that will make you feel better." That's not the point, and you're so intelligent you should know that.
I still love you. And I'm not sorry this time.
You're a stupid gold digging cunt. It's pretty obvious given the fact that all you talk about his how much money he makes, and how many expensive gifts he has bought you. I get it, the purse was 400$, the nail dryer was 100$, the backpack was 80$, hard drive 60$ and the Apple laptop he wants to buy you is around 2k$. And oh wow, you've only know him for something like a month, and your already considering asking him to pay for your college? Cool beans bitch, but cherry on top was when you said "I don't wanna sound like a gold digger", before you bragged about his massive salary.
I ain't saying your a gold digger, well I am, but shit bitch you don't mess around with no broke ass niggas that's for sure. Cause the last two bfs you had also made 50k+. Sure I'm jealous af that your making more money than the average hooker, but if you don't wanna sound like a gold digger try talking about something besides his fucking money.
Love, your favorite broke ass cousin, yea I'm jealous af idfc
I don't know whether to pity you, laugh or just remember that we grew up together. After reading everything that you posted I don't know why it still matters to you especially at this point, Maybe you're a bit of an obsessive and that's alright, I just wonder why you obsess about people to such an extreme. We all need help and someone to call a friend but you somewhat took your fear of criticism to the next level. You made internet trolling and real life congruent to your own state of mind. You finally extentialized your fear and it affected you personally. It changed you into a bitter person.
It doesn't affect me as my life has been shit anyway. I have nothing to prove by participating in this. I just learned from this whole ordeal, I never took it personally and I understand that people need pain to become someone. I just wonder if you have enough self awareness to realize what you have been doing because I certainly have not been alone in this.
Peace and goodbye I haven't and will not write to anyone else. Forgive and forget so we can all live better lives.
Take care. Any postings are not from me and are from probably BG, L, M or J anyway. I don't bother with it, maybe they have boring lives who knows.
This world is too small for you. This heart of mine is too small for the feelings you bring. My heart will burst or break or stop. The world will burn or fade.
Nothing matters but you. Nothing happens without you. When you move the hand of God stirs the silver chimes and sends shivers out into everything.
Sometimes you smile.
I see you maybe twice/three times a week passing me by as we handle our business. Having a hard time trying to initiate a conversation with you because everytime I see you my heart stops.
I would like to be in your life but how can I be if I can hardly even talk with you. By now you probably think I'm weird by my silence but I wish I could just tell you straight up that I like you.
Shit will never be and I'm trying to move on from you without even trying to get to know you, because I just don't know how.
I use to like you, I still like you, but I don't know what to do anymore. You won't date me because you don't like me the way you use to and I can't change myself into the person I use to be. You can't even give me a complete response when I ask you out! You just pretended it never happen and try to avoid any topic that might bring it up again. If you wanna say no to me just say NO. It would put my mind to ease and everything can just go back to the way it was. Right now I can barely think while we talk to each other because I just want your answer. I said take as long as you need to answer but I didn't expect you to never answer...
Please for me just give me an answer a simple yes or no...
I'm sorry. I miss talking with you. You actually remembered me when everyone else just forgot. Now I had to go and fuck it up. I should have never told you. I knew I didn't stand a chance. Yet I had false hope and now I can't even have you as a friend. I we ant to die.
In a month it will be a year since we broke up. But I still miss you. Burns me now since A and your old roommate have hooked up. She reminds me of you every time I see her. I wish I could just talk to you but that's not really a possibility at this point.
Love you D. I hope you're doing alright.
Did they stop being your friend after you confessed your feelings? Never regret telling someone how you felt about them, the loss of a friendship will eventually be less painful than a lifetime of "what-if".
Well I won't lie to you B, he was pretty fucking perfect. I loved being around him and he had a certain way he handled me. But I didn't cheat, it never crossed my mind, apart from that one day that I wanted to kiss him and pretend it was you, but I didn't. Call it fucked up but I guess that's what happens when you are starved. He needed me, I needed him but now I have let him go because he deserves undivided love and things I can't give him. His message to you was "Step it up" but I won't tell you that. I'm scared I am falling out of love and getting bored of the same routine you offer. The highs and lows of your nature is too unstable and confusing. Regardless, I love you..Just not that way anymore.
Never give up hope, they remembered you for a reason and whatever you did probably doesn't have to screw up the the friendship. Apologise for whatever it was and try to rekindle the friendship.
Dear accordion guy,
Thank you. I'll never give you any money because I'm a cheapskate, but your clumsy trills and arpegios do add something to the evening. I wish you good fortune, a fruitful life, and an audience with deeper pockets than my own.
Travelling in the evening time guy.
There is a dwelling absence of 3rd parties that create the foundation of my projections
Instead, I see five of my steam icons in ginyu formation waiting for a list of daily tasks. There will be no stutter accompanying my colors
i just had a dream where i was chasing crawfish around on a beach at night
i chased one up to a wall and observed its tail curl up and strike the cement
upon closer inspection i realized, much to my dread, that it was a scorpion and it proceeded to chase me off the beach
i hope that scorpion wasn't you
So I'm pretty sure I didn't get stat pay. I worked way overtime, missing Christmas with my family, because all of my coworkers are more important than me obv. If I find out you didn't pay me enough, I'm out. Get your shit together already
It's been a year-and-a-half now. Every time I start to feel I'm recovering, the floor falls from underneath me. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, and I don't know if that's good or bad anymore. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me.
I'll probably spend your Birthday alone but I'll be thinking of you. I'll put it out there somehow; but you probably won't see it. Our anniversary would be next month if you hadn't left. I'll spend it alone as well, in that booth where we had our first date. I'll do some reminiscing, and even though I probably won't eat, I'll order something so they'll let me hold the seat. We spoke a few times of you proposing to me, of the old rule of leap year where you would be allowed to do so. It's hard to believe that if things hadn't fallen apart that we may have been planning a wedding. I'll probably spend February 29th alone in that same booth, imaging what that proposal may have been like. I'm okay with that though. I can't forget about you, even as it becomes easier and easier to forget me. I feel compelled in my heart to pay some sort of reverance to those days. To you.
I love you. Even as your love for me flickers down to nothing in the howling wind, my love seems only to consume that wind, to grow ever brighter into a raging inferno. Some people have to protect their fire, to hide it from the elements and shield it from others. But I don't have to do that anymore. I can only wait for the day my skin starts to burn away, until my whole body is consumed in that fire which leaves nothing untouched. Until then, I'll keep doing these stupid little things to remember you. Maybe I'll take that last note you wrote me, maybe that notebook you gave me that I forgot to burn. Maybe I'll write another passage each year I spend in that place without you. Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I'm wasting my time. But I can't help it. It isn't really up to me anymore. I just go where my heart tells me.
i miss you muffin, not what have now but what we used to be. you said you loved me everyday and i did back and i felt good when i was with you. but back then i had problems i couldn't have a relation ship with you and now to see you with someone else when i am better hurts me. when you and your friends talk about your relationship it hurts, i question myself with things like am i good enough and if you chose him why not me and you made it easier for him than it was for me. i still thought you liked me for a while whilst you started going out with him i thought the relation ship would end. i thought this because of how flirty you were with me maybe it was the contrast of the dream and reality that hurt me so much idk. and now despite my pain i try to fix myself: to fix myself of you and my life. i have attempted studying more, exercising, focusing on hobbies etc. i have also tried to get over you by fantasising about other girls and talking to them but it's no use. i can't be with out you and now since your relationship and it's circumstances i feel like i can't be with you either to be truly happy. i feel like you still are attracted to me but in a different way, i think you will keep in contact with me till i am older and try to hook up with me since i do well at school or whatever. this might be why you still talk to me in a way i would consider intimate. just my ramblings your friend anon.
No, I don't trust you. You don't act in a trustworthy manner. I mean, you don't even trust YOU. Why the fuck would I bother?
For a brief moment today, I was excited by the prospect that I might catch you cheating so that I could finally end this torment. How fucked up is that?
I am just trying not to care, and that's a hell of a lot easier with other pussy on my dick.
The irony is not lost on me. Life is shit.
Trust is an entertaining subject, isn't it? I've always thought that trust should be almost solidified before the word "love" is ever uttered. I hope you get the best outcome for yourself anyway. Not like responding negatively towards you or anything, I just thought how interesting trust is and how many problems being unable to trust someone brings about
Actually, here you go, have a quid. I will recklessly cross two streets of angry traffic to deposit it into your bucket.
But only because I was here for fucking ages and you just kept going. I'm recognising your perseverance, not your felicity.
I find some measure of comfort in the infinite vastness of the universe, because that means somewhere, somehow, there exists a version of me who didn't fuck up so much. Somewhere in the universe is a version of me who made you happy enough, who earned your love and trust, and who is still with you. There exists a version of me who still stands by your side. One who can still feel your arms around him, who can still indulge in a kiss, who can lie awake with you at night and find peace in you, his home. I just wish it could've been me.
Come on!!! You know you want it!!! Prease???
I miss you and I hope you are alright!
I hope one day we get back together, but I dont hold my breath.
I was a fool to let you walk out my door.. Every time I hear "Old Skool Love" on the radio, I am instantly transported back to when we were together.
"I dont want you back, but Ill never ever love the same way again"
Why do YOU keep responding? It's almost as if you've got nothing better to do. Why don't you step away from here and go do the Thing that you've been avoiding all week? This thread will still be here when you get back... although I almost certainly shan't be.
You are not as entertaining as you think you are. I've wasted too many years of my life on you. You tell me things that upset me. You drag me down and dampen my enthusiasm for life. I don't want to see you any more, I'm sorry, I don't need you any more and I don't love you.
Please, don't try to come after me. I don't want to watch you trying to persuade me to come back to you - I don't want anything to do with you. It has to be this way. You're not good for me and I can't deal with just seeing you now and again.
There will be other people that will want to be around you like I used to be. Don't worry.
I finally got out of my slump. I still dream about her but all the heavy drinking and drugs really did help drive her out of my mind.
I've made a few new friends and I feel like my life is on track for the first time in my life. I even have a dream to strive towards.
You guys really picked me the fuck up when I was in the shitter.
hehehe, you're such a mediocre little manlet!
so full of yourself and on such little talent!
and you don't even have the good looks to fall back on, what a pity, j!
Dear [any girl i've known],
Dear [any friend i've known]
you also suck.
Dear [any friend or family of any girl or friend i've known]
You're alright but deep down you're a piece of shit and we both know it.
thanks for nothing, good job not raising me, inviting me into your life after finding me on facebook, recanting stories to me of how you always told everyone you had a son and how much you loved me, then dying and not leaving a will. Canadian law gave all your shit to your selfish cunt common-law girlfriend who blew it all on raising her own hick son's illegitimate child and whatever else costs $700,000. Good Job dude.
You gave me nothing to help me succeed in adult life. My friends went to university, got a car, got a job, got an allowance, got something that might help them understand the world as they grow. Instead you gave me a bag of chips for Christmas.You literally gave me a bag of chips and that was my only Christmas present. You make $4000 a month and everything you own is paid off. What the fuck are you doing with that money. Why are you so fucking intent on not helping me out whatsoever. Why are you intent on further going out of your way to damage my chances of succeeding when I do manage to acquire some success by my self with your horrible, jealous comments that seep into my soul like venemous fangs. You also literally killed my cat. You are worth less than a handful of sand while stranded alone in a desert. When you die i'm going to flush your ashes down the toilet.
Dear Barack Obama,
you're a fucking nigger. Check the mirror.
You're not the first one towards whom I have these type of feelings. It's more than likely that it will turn out the same way it did with the previous ones. We only have 6 months left until both of us get seperated, so if by some miracle I'm wrong, hopefully we'll get connected during this period of time, because you don't seem to be able to leave my head. Even if I try my hardest, you're still there, since we're still linked with the same "habitat".
Yet you have no idea, unless you actually do or would feel like composing a similar letter anytime with me as the addressee. What the actual fuck, of course you have no idea.
I think about you a lot, and I wish you'd think about me half as much as I think about you. Well, I'm not stupid. It's unhealthy to have my head in the clouds so much. Separating fantasy from reality is tough for me, and I just can't tell what's a delusion and what's not. Still, I think about you a lot, and I wish you'd think about me too.
Alternatively, I wish I could stop thinking about you so much.
What's going to happen? I can't picture a future without you, but I'm struggling to see how we are going to set the world to rights. I just want to be with you at all times, so I guess I'm kinda distracted. I can't see anything but you.
It's a shame you don't love me, but that's ok. I don't need your love. I just need you.
We'll figure something out.
I'm not angry at the fact things didn't work out. I'm angry about the fact you keep bugging me and trying to manipulate me. Fuck off! Swap genders, and think about that for a second. Fucking idiot.
>man rejects woman
>muh gender swap muh delusions over the internet
>man gets rejected
>writes a letter then moves on
>woman goes crazy starts fights with man
But but reality check.
Dear Miss Military Police Chick,
I remember when I met you on a training exercise.
I had been musing the previous day that all I wanted was to meet a short, cute blond with a nice butt and a Pixie cut. And then, as I'm walking over to our HMMVs, I see you and we talk. You looked cold as ice, but when you spoke, that all melted away. You were cool, polite and from my unit. Awesome.
Cut to later in the field; we've been getting attacked all week and losing personnel left and right. Sentries are posted throughout the perimeter. I just happen to be strolling by looking for a Sergeant when I see you and your NCO. You were both great conversationalists, your sergeant called me hot, and you didn't smoke but you wanted to smoke with me and I offered to pull guard with you.
Unfortunately, I hadn't finished my shift yet. I could've been a shit bag and had the time of my life(and trust me, I would've loved to stay with you), or done my duties and I feel I did the right thing. But when work was over, when I came back to your foxhole, there were two engineers who said all MPs were being pulled for a mission. I thanked them, and told them to have a nice night.
I ended up smoking under the stars alone.
I hope we can see each other again. I'll save you one.
are you projecting your own bullshit or what?
people are pissed off when they're rejected, at least initially, that's normal
are you autistic? honest question, you're clearly not clued in as to how people work
Its been since October..
I haven't been sober..
All I want is to roll over..
and see you there one last time put your arms around my shoulders..
tell me it's okay, nuzzle your face into mine,
remind me of the good life and when you used to wake me in the morning, say babe, say hey, maybe I can make you feel good today?
Fuck me /adv/.. I ruined my life and I can't stop doing it. an hero or what's life worth living for if she was out there and probably out fucking someone else, and the one I've met I'm obviously not enough for, and the ones in the past have forgotten about me obviously because I'm not good enough for anybody or even to do a good job at 'living'.
No friends, no future, no relationships.. constant failure.. 23, what do /adv/?
i'm sorry, but i can't help myself. everyday i dress up like a girl and cry, and i know that i'm trapped. i wanna be trans but my whole family. including you, would hate me. i'm sorry that i can't be the man this family wants/needs.
you're right, sorry i had a different idea as to what pissed meant, i'm thinking more disappointed, not "i hate women" or "i hate men" pissed. i mean you can't go taking your slights out on everyone else because someone doesn't find you attractive, right? that ain't healthy
but yeah, you're right, my bad!
Hi landwhale did your husband get full custody of your child or did you get a trans operation yet? Anyways all your exs hate you and hope you killed yourself. Did you expect all of us to be nice to you after what you keep doing. Have some dignity and raise your daughter better holy shit. You act like a bitch and you're not a kid anymore. No one should be nice to you when you're a snake in the grass.
-your brother and sister
Have some shame for once stop posting as other initials here and work a job girl.
No, you're right. Other anon is clearly an out-and-out CUNT.
All-caps, of course, for the extra smelly whore who thinks she's better than everyone else for not experiencing feelings that she's never had to experience. why? because she's used to telling every man and his sloppy cohorts that they aren't invited to the party in her pants.
You see, these horrible, evil cunt caves wander around like black holes, sucking in attention and never giving anything in return. Then they get uppity when you expect the time of day. You might rape her afterall.
Because she can't be arsed to do anything but fleece attention and money from her orbiters. That's why they're so threatened by the idea that a man might get "pissed" at being rejected. Because one day, god willing, she'll be raped and murdered and she'll deserve it.
i mean the second half of my sentence as a general thing, as in, if you're rejected you can't take it out on everyone else.
but, out of curiosity, why do you keep bringing up projection? is it because i said it first?
sorry if i didn't make things clear
please seek help
Holy shit anon, you really got me there
What's funny is, I won't get an answer. I'm pretty sure I made it obvious that I experience disappointment at being rejected and that I assume that's normal, maybe even mild anger. That's what I experience, though it never reaches the toxic levels you'd see on /r9k/, of course I get over it, better myself and try again.
I misinterpreted the post is all, and now I'm getting "ur projecting lol"
I'm honestly baffled.
So you don't actually have an answer, you thought you'd be clever and try to toss a word around, even tell me to look up the definition, and then act dismissive when you're clearly wrong.
Thanks for being my daily encounter with a stupid bitch! Nice meeting you!
You know what, fuck you. You know why, because you do this all the god damn time. Every fucking time, the same thing happens. We have a good time, we hang out, you become more apathetic, and eventually, you ignore me, and then we fight, with one of us ending hurt. It always seems to be me hurting and taking the blame. You always blame me for eventide we don't get along. But last time we fought, I found out all of this was because of you, you didn't want to change. You became stubborn and didn't want to talk, you didn't want to relate. I figured that you were toxic and not good for me at all. You were just here just to hurt me. I hated you at first and then I realized that you weren't worth my anger, so I just didn't care for you.
I knew how it always ended so I set myself to not care about you. It worked till recently when you began to speak to me again. It was all good and I thought that we could be friends again, but the fucking cycle started again and I prepared myself. Now here is am, angry at you, a few seats behind you on the bus. Blaming me again, hurting me again, just because you wouldn't talk. You had to text me even though you are a few seats ahead of me. I'm lucky that I prepared myself. But fuck you. For blaming me and hurting me. Go fucking figure yourself and grow some balls to talk to me in person.
You can portray me as a terrible person to everyone else, but it still doesn't justify how abusive you were. I don't hate you, but how... Unkind you were made it easy to move on from missing you. It's a lie to say I don't care about you, but I mostly miss the feelings that came with our good moments. I don't miss any of the verbal abuse. I don't miss the way you treated my feelings being hurt as "an excuse to make you feel bad." I don't miss hearing my crying was just an abuse tactic. I don't miss hearing I always play the victim, and you had a bad day so it's alright to snap at me. I don't miss hearing you were going to end your life because I wouldn't cheer up when you hurt me. I don't miss hearing "you're being abusive" every time I asked why you did it to me. I miss the Love. That's all. I was a bad boyfriend, but not because I was emotional, and abusive as you say I was, but because I was too much of a coward to stand up to your father who said it was all just in your head. You needed help. I still kind've miss you, and I hate myself for it. For trying to talk to you again. It just hurt me again.
To internet girl,
I saw a photo of your slightly covered hot fat tits reposted on 4chan once so i reverse image searched that shit thinking you were a model and that I might find more. Instead I found reposts from an ancient tumblr blog where although you had deactivated your account and deleted everything, the image was still hosted on the reblog. I searched the source username attached to the image and got some other related results for a dating site which you used at one point, and from there I got your real name. I searched your real name and found social media accounts including twitter, facebook, and instagram- all yours. You weren't a model, probably just some silly girl who wanted tumblr attention at one point, and you clearly have a lot of friends and family on facebook.
You have a boyfriend now and none of your selfies seem to be as provacative as first image I saw that started it all, so its clear you were just getting attention on tumblr. I considered sending you a message over your newer SFW tumblr account to let you know you got dem fat titty pics on the web but the thought of you cracking from likely being a ditsy girl who thought she'd erased that part of her past on top of being identifiable by simply using google scared me, cause I do in fact think you are a gorgeous girl.
Basically remove your internet dating profile cause it links to you easily.
I enjoy hanging out with people, but I have more fun hanging out alone. I feel too pressured about what they want to do, or what my companions are thinking about me. While alone, I don't care about the opinion of strangers as much, or even at all.
I think I'll just embrace loneliness.
went through those phases but never really got lonely or cared about what they thought. its more them being too needy or wanting me to be like them. i realized years from now theyll be doing the same things and peer pressuring each other to do stupid shit then talk shit like they are somebody behind peoples back. i never was like that and i got along with others who are more honest and upfront and i became like them.
ended up distancing myself but not cutting them off if they txted me i wouldnt hesistate to be a friend because they are good people. i just dont have anything in common and they end up resenting me for it. i ended up not trusting them and left.
i just live my life with friends ive had besides them. at one point they became vindictive and thats normal. theyll probably be like that for years on end and ill already have a wife and family away from them. thats sad to think about
I don't feel pressured into doing things, like peer pressure. Just worried about them wanting to be in a different place or doing a different activity than we were currently doing, about them being unhappy. And then I wonder if they judge me based on my actions, though they never say anything. It's all in my head and I know it, but I can't shake it and it ruins the fun I could have.
Also, I feel this way with everyone, not just one group of friends.