Hi everyone. I don't think I've ever posted on /x/

You are a demon sent here to be punished for your crimes against God in heaven. There are many like you. Some remember their past, some don't know. You will be forgiven one day.

was it a fever dream?

>>19587765
That's pretty scary. I don't think that's true, but it's a scary idea.

>>19587754
Were your you abused, maybe not physically but mentally? Were your parents strict? What other things were going on in your life at the time? A move to a new home? Starting school? Lost a friend?

>>19587785
It's not scary. Just do good in life and help people and you will be accepted back into heaven.

>>19587754
>everything I had worked towards was crashing around me
So you had done a lot of "working towards" things at seven-ish?

>>19587786
Not really. My mother was a drinker and my parents would fight a lot, but I was never hit or blamed for anything. My dad was pretty great considering how things were. My dad was pretty religious; I think maybe he told me too much about Bible-related stuff at a young age. But even so, isn't it really strange to have those kinds of dreams like that? Isn't a seven year old a little young to care about stuff like that? I never really actively thought about it much in my waking hours. Everything else was pretty normal. I did have a history of sleep waking a little bit, very rarely.

My dad was awake in the kitchen when I was young, he said he saw me sleep waking once. He said that I apparently went for the scissors in the shelf and was motioning to cut off my penis. I was maybe seven or eight at the time. He obviously stopped me, and I never sleep walked in such a way again.
>>19587783
No, never.

>>19587796
No, not really. That's a confusing part of it. I had something I was working towards I guess, I just don't know.
>>19587793
Here's to hoping.

>>19587812
Did it bother you when your parents would fight? When your mother drank, did she do stupid stuff that you didn't understand?

read about salvia divinorum experiences on erowid

>>19587860
Of course it bothered me. As for what she would say, nothing was really too confusing, just the typical stuff. My mother would threaten to leave every now and then, but never did. They did later divorce, though - I live with my dad. Currently in my last year of college.
>>19587876
I'm not sure what that is, but I'll check it out. Thanks for the responses everyone.

>>19587924
Sorry for so many questions. I am getting the feeling that the dreams were in relation to some pent-up anxiety. I was just trying to determine if that might have been the case.

Something was bothering you that you didn't feel like you could outwardly show because it wouldn't have helped the situation. So the bottled up emotions manifested in a dream. This is normal & healthy. It kept you sane.

>>19587943
Dreams of future death and judgement seem like a really strange way to release anxiety. In all honesty, things weren't that bad when I was seven or eight. I wasn't under really any stress at all then, I was just a kid after all, y'know?

I am troubled by the idea that dreams are, as a rule, a sort of random mishmash of things that just happen within one's psyche. I am of the belief that there is at times a guiding principle at work behind these phenomena, something which brings order into the menagerie of strange things that we perceive during these nighttime hours. It's a part of our connection to the divine, I would say that is responsible.

So, having that said OP, I am not altogether familiar with repeating dreams (although I have had some with recurrent themes, like one dream is a continuation of another at a prior time), but I do think that it stands to reason that if there is something that the dream is endeavouring to draw up into your attention that, for one reason or another, was not apprehended at that time, then it may simply reiterate itself until such time as either the importance of the message behind that dream is gleaned, or the message in of itself is, although the former is the more immediately expedient if the latter is not forthcoming. Anyway, the matter of the dream is the interpretation, but what can we derive from it if anything? Themes of futility and being cast into the darkness are unusual themes for an otherwise normal seven-year-old boy, if I'm not overreaching in describing your life as such, but then why is this so?

I'd like to comment on just one item first before going much further, and that is the time at which you're before the bright figure that opens the book; however, when your name was not found in it, you fell, presumably into something like death, or something terrifying at the least. Now, I know that you say that there was perhaps a bit heavy of a biblical element in your life from your father, but when it comes to this interaction in particular I am reminded of a verse from the book of Revelation which describes the judging of the dead at the end of the world.
(Cont.) (1/?)

>>19587963
I didn't interpret your dream as one of the future. I guess you do & that's ok, lol. But that is why I was asking questions. To find out if my initial feeling of your dream was accurate. I'm not always spot on :) What do you think your dream means?

>>19588051
I guess I just assumed it took place in the future. After all, I was in the dream, and it had not happened to me yet in life, so I guess I just assumed it would take place in the future. As for what it means, I just don't know, and I've never known. Maybe it was something in my subconscious telling me to walk the straight and narrow, or else. I don't think I'll ever know.

Part of this process is where the dead are judged according to their deeds (and you can read about this yourself in Revelations 20:11-15 -- I'm fairly sure the key item is mentioned in an earlier of Revelation as well but I can't seem to recall that at present, so please excuse my memory) and as to whether or not their name is written in the "book of life", and if it were not found in the book then they were thrown into the "lake of fire" (as were many other things prior), which I think is clear enough in its implications if you give it some thought. That being said, it is not my intent to frighten you or cause you any unrest, I am merely trying to get to the bottom of what this dream might indicate, and if that is what it indicates then there would still be the option of changing this situation.

Insofar as that image is concerned, I can see how one might think that it is drawn from ambient experiences, as though the thing were heard spoken about before and it randomly popped up in the dream; however, I would like to suggest a different possibility. If you're not already acquainted with him, Carl G. Jung was a proponent of the idea that there is a sort of ancestral inheritance of symbols and associated meanings that come in the form of mythology -- that we, in the unconscious parts of our beings, draw from the collective wisdom of humanity and these images come to life in our dreams, and I believe this is one such instance of this, a sort of inherited archetypal idea that presented itself to you. This is, as I'm sure you might imagine, a very ephemeral sort of notion and one that the eye of scrutiny might eye with some suspicion and perhaps rightly so, but I would refer to an example of proof of this notion that Jung refers to in his book, "Man and his Symbols," where he describes a story of a young girl that, as she nears her untimely end from childhood illness, draws from her dreams a sort of story of the world stretching back into antiquity.
(2/?)

Of these items she forms them into a book and lovingly presents this to her father, saying that she made it specifically for him, and not long after she ends up succumbing to her illness. Jung speaks about this at greater length, which I would suggest you give a look if you're not too busy. (His book, "The Red Book" is also an excellent, if more obscure and difficult item, which I would suggest for you at perhaps a later time if you like what he says otherwise, it's a really meaty book.)

I've only described the above to suggest that a similar case may've been with yourself as well, that this image had been drawn up from some realm of knowing that presented itself to you. So, having all that said, the question is, if the dream is intended to mean something along those lines, how then do you take it?

That all said, I would not suggest that you have to go out and become a Christian or that sort of thing (although you're, of course, more than welcome to if you find yourself so inclined, but I don't get the impression that's your first thought here), although the Bible is a great work of historical richness and would do you some good to give it a look sometime, but that's still a bit aside from what you can do with this notion. If it is as I say, then what do you think, what are your thoughts, your reaction? I'd love to hear from you.

>>19588074
In the first half of your dream you use the words: futility, crashing, dense, lethargic, mass of darkness, ending. This is indicative of depression or hidden unreleased fears. Since we have ruled out depression. That leaves fears.

The second half reveals the possibilities of the relationship of the fears. Names called, people transported, bright figure, large book. Which is the discussion that I think >>19588042
is going for.

>>19588042
>>19588102
>>19588141
I think I have heard of Jung before, albeit very vaguely. The idea of drawing on aspects of past humanity in this sort of conscious state sounds unreal, but I have heard of it before. Certainly sounds like it is in the realm of possibility.

As for you question of what my reaction is, and what I think, honestly, it is that I'm not totally certain on what I think. Contrary to what you said towards the end, one of the strongest thoughts I had was that the repeated dreams perhaps were a warning of some type, and that the Christian path would be the only one that I could find an eventual peace in. That, in that time of futility and loss, should I have chosen that path, my name would have been spoken and I would not have fallen. I don't know. Your responses have been incredibly interesting, though, and I thank you.

I have to go for now. I will check this thread in the morning should anyone else respond. Thanks for the conversation, it felt nice talking about it.

>>19588195
You're very welcome. I simply didn't want to be overbearing on what to do about it, but the Christian path is a good one if I were to give my opinion and pretty well laid-out in most all respects. Good luck and safe travels to you.

>>19588195
>dreams perhaps were a warning of some type...

This is what I am thinking also. A small child trying to understand what happens after death & at the end of time is a lot to ask for. You said your father talked a lot about the Bible. Did he discuss this with you?

I think it was your fear that you might mess up and never get accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven because you picked your nose or something. Kids have weird rationalities.

The ending is still bugging me though. You were terrified & everything didn't feel normal. Hmmm....

>>19588270
Very late response, but I am surprised the thread is still up. Yes, he did talk about it a lot to me.

>>19588042
>>19588102
>>19588141
This is actually super interesting, this is real /x/ shit. Cheers mate.