>Long time lurker, first time poster What do I have to do

Bitte hilfe mich

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>>19567670
Stop watching vikings.

>>19567670
Look into scholarly papers and historical accounts done by universities. Documentaries, poems, epics. Just look harder, I'm not gonna look for you

>>19567670
Finland here.
Breddy muchg

:D :D :D :D :D

In Valhalla, you will fight on the fields in bloody, brutal combat. At night, you will feast, party, and lay. If an eternity of that sounds like your thing - then you have to live according to Odin and die as you fight (with metal/iron [a sword/axe] in your hand)

>>19567680
bitte hilf mir oder
bitte helft mir
l2german

>>19567680
*mir

"Viking lifestyle".
Not all nordics were vikings. Vikings were specifically the people who travelled by sea to plunder or trade. Most people were farmers. Not everyone goes to Valhalla.
Besides that, our understanding of norse mythology is really limited, as it wasn't really written down until a couple hundred years after it peaked, and by christian monks at that. Yes, that includes the eddas. Sleep tight.

>19567935
well, not our understanding of norse MYTHOLOGY (although it's definitely been tinkered with by the christians), but more like the actual rituals, etc.

>>19567670
Go to sweden and die fighting muslims.

>>19567670
Develope and feed your soul during lifetime so it becomes strong enough for death not to break it and to fight its way into the halls of your ancestors.
Train yourself in all possible ways; mind, body and soul.
apply the nine noble virtues (google it), so you can be strong.

>>19567670
>the Viking lifestyle
Viking is a verb. Nordic people would "go viking." It meant sail off to some other settlement of people and take all their stuff, along with killing, raping, and enslaving.

Is that the lifestyle you want to get into?

>>19567670
>get a boat
>get an axe
>get shrooms
>sail on boat until you see land
>consume shrooms and head straight for the nearest village
>hit locals with axe until you get shot
Congratulations, you're now in Valhalla.

>>19568059
this. the only way to enter Valhalla is to die in combat with a high body count

go to 8ch's asatru board and ask for better answers.

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>>19567670
Thanks for all the help everyone. My German isnt that good but it's the only other language I know partially. I know what Vikings were and that they were a verb I just used it as an umbrella term for the people that didn't know. I just didn't know if there was some pledge or deal that had to be made with Odin like how you have to verbally accept christ in his religion.
>already have a combat axe
>ready for my ascension considering we don't have much time before world war 3

>>19568352
I like it

>>19570316
I like it

>>19570253
stop LARPING, your ancestors were all Christian, the ones that mattered anyway.

>>19567670
Read the Icelandic Sagas and realize that no, you don't want to live the Viking lifestyle because it's is bullshit. Seriously dude, think about what Viking pussy smells like ffs.

>>19567670
>Viking lifestyle

You don't.

>Die in combat
More of a safeguard than a free pass. Terrorism and shit doesn't count; it's supposed to be heroic or Scandinavia and Germany would never have made it out of the stone age.

>Also your axe blows chunks. Kult of athena? Weeb.

>>19570347
On my mom's side yeah but on my dad's no. Don't be a cunt. Some customers at the place I work I speak German to or whatever and they do the usual " wots that mean" and I say it's X in German and they reply with "you look more Nordic to me".I assume that's just an umbrella term for all of scandanavia rather than a certain part.

>>19570357
The Vikings weren't all raping barbarians. You didn't have to live in the seas 24-7 with salt water pickling your clitoris.

Faggot.

>>19570385
Don't be a cunt about my axe. I got the head from a barn when I was doing urbex and then made the handle. That's when I decided it was time to get in touch with half of who I am.

>>19570316
I don't habeeb you.
Anyone can get into a discord and all promise to write a book that pushes one idea. Just look at the whole God thing

>>19567670
first forget about being nordic. not only where the nordics the first ones to abandon the old gods (we still had crusades against us in germany in the 1300s when they were already christianized), but more importantly, your ancestors do not play any role in this.

Second, ignore the modern eddas - they were written by christians and contain lots of myths that are not only physically impossible, but also proven to have originated in other cultures. for example, the tale about the world being made from a giants body stems from babylonia, and isn't actually part of germanic/nordic beliefs. The monk that wrote it down most likely mixed things up. even japanese fiction like the fate series is closer to the actual oral tradition than the prose edda.

finally, valhalla is open to all that live honorably until the end. Do whatever you think is right, heedless of consequences. That's all. Belief in the old gods is unecessary (it can help though, as they might lend you thestrength necessary to do what you think is right). the skills you'll earn in valhall, and believing in the gods once you've seen them isn't to hard.

However, you have to be pretty fucked up to wish to go to valhall (i do - but i'm hardly sane). basically, valhall means having to live time and time again, being tested everytime. if you show cowardice, the gods'll leave you to rot after death - but according to the tales, after being reborn the first time, your spirit can no longer dissolve, meaning that you'll spend eternity in a rotting shell, unable to do anything but think and suffer. that's where the name walhall, place of the death comes from.
If you pass the tests, and live honorably every time, the only thing you get for it is the right to fight in the last battle. Now some claim that afterwards we'll all live happily in some new, better world - but I at least can't believe that. would you keep around weapons if you want there to be no more wars? I wouldn't.

>>19567670
>What do I have to do to go to valhalla.
You have to die in battle. Join the military, go get yourself into some scrapes.

Not sure what's wrong with Helheim.

>>19567670
you have to kys! nordicchan_pass to valhalla!

This is some embarrassing LARPing.

Anyway, if you want to be a real viking you have to raid places like monasteries (a church would be the modern equivalent) or full of weak people who can't defend themselves and then try to run away and get btfo when a real army arrives (so the police in 2017). You'll go to valhalla and in a distant future teenagers will think you were cool and brave.

>>19570253
>Carries an axe in a world with millions of guns. Odin would call you an stupid.

>>19567670
Valhalla is also just the burial mounds.

>>19567670
Buy a gun.
When you're old and sick and you feel that death is coming knocking at your door, piss off a policeman and make a show of going for your gun.
Remember to write down in your will that you want to be buried with your gun.
Profit.

>>19572291
>live in the seas 24-7 with salt water pickling your clitoris
my sides

>>19572603
What's helheim

>>19572684
This isn't fucking larping. Is this really how insecure you have become You can't base your entire judgement on Vikings off of a fucking show you watched.

>>19572725
This is another thread I will make. How to modernize warriors of old or sonething. As much as I love the idea of being a Knight or viking, steel armor won't stop an ak blowing a hole in you.

>>19567670
no death in glorious combat

no valhalla

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>>19574749
Victory of sovengarde

>>19570347
>your ancestors were all Christian

I've got a feeling that his ancestral line goes back a little farther than the last thousand years or so. Even if you want to include the entire 2,000 year time frame that Jeebus has been late for his promised return.

>the ones that mattered anyway

Ahhh, here we go. Backpeddling when you realize how stupid you sound. The Xians are the ones that DON'T matter as well as being a small minority of the ancestors.

>>19574742
I've never watched Vikings you retard. Vikings were violent peasant shits, not warriors. There's nothing cool or honorable about viking shits.

>>19570253
Please tell me you lift, your hand seems soft and pudgy.

>>19568352
This.

1st you must follow the nine noble virtues live well become strong then find me on the field of battle let steel clash and fury fly when i stand over your broken corpse ill send you ro the all father in valhalla where real men will use you as a woman

>>19572300
Got it from a barn? That would've been my second guess. Not bad for farm labor but seriously get one made for combat if you're going to talk about it. Handle is alright as far as homemade goes though.

>>19574727
Equivalent of hell, but without torture. Just boring dreary place for spirits to chill at if they didn't die fuckin shit up

You earn entry

Odin choses like the king choses his best men for the raids

Valhala is like being with the king better seated closer and great battles to be had

>>19567670
Start here read the havamal

Beware the short viking he is the most vicious and dangerous

>>19567670
Hey faggot. Ya nordic? My ancestor kills abundant of yours..nordic are gay and pathetic

>>19574793
triggered like a little bitch

>>19574835
I don't lift. My strength lies in my massive calves

>>19575474
Why you gotta be a bully? Jealous of my axe?

>>19567670
You will not go to Valhal. You are not worthy. Asking on /x/ and not finding out for yourself proves everything.

>>19567943
Well.. Most vikings were actually farmers

Muricans understanding of the the Norsk mythology is just over the edge.

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>>19567670
what you have to do to go to valhalla? pretty obvious my little viking

>>19575938
I don't know what's more homosexual, the original image or the edit.

>>19572284

I get told I look Nordic (Aryan man long hair beard ect) a lot but I am not. My mother's background is Scotish and my father is English and probably all sorts of mongrel blood such as African and Afghanistan.

Stop looking in the mirror thinking you come from true Nordic blood because your most probably more of nigger if anything.

>>19574727
>wants to go to Valhalla
>doesn't know the alternatives

>>19574789
I thought it was "Victory or Sovngarde."

>>19576275
>Scottish
Could actually be a bit of Nordic ancestry in you. They did a bit of settling around there. But I don't know your family history, or your genetics.

Edred Thorsson has some good starter books. Look at the Asatru subreddit as well, they've got some good starter guides.

>>19576251
You, for spotting homosexuality so damn well.

Don't forget the "blots" (good sacrifice)
Mans soul is tied in to the sprit of his race and the sprit of the land. Wōtan/Odin is the spirit of our race.. sacrifice a goat and have a maiden spread the blood on the land as an offering for the bounty of nature.. In olden times 9 of each animal were sacrificed, and 99 of each every 9 years.. including human prisoners/captives /slaves were sometimes sacrificed.. but you can just do a lamb or goat. If you can't do this at the very least… you are unfit for Vahalla. To heal your soul you must first heal the land.

>>19577313
that should read blots (blood sacrifice)
Odin HATES (((autocorrect)))

>>19576275
I don't have a beard for one so I don't have the "I have a beard so I'm a viking".it's my face shape. If you learn to read half of all of my family is Nordic rather than me just assuming I am.

Well this was a great thread. I am satisfied with not learning the truth so I guess the thread can die now

>>19575474
Butthurt and lies

>>19572545
The nordics would have been crusaded like a motherfucker and they would have been crushed because of its low population. Converting was the sensible choice

Looking for an /x/ Discord server?
https://discord.gg/zkuFyqn

>>19567670
viking style means to live for odin.
help odin by destroying odins enemies.

source: me im odin.

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>>19567670
Yes, pretty much. Or just spend your life fighting for greatness and fame. But Odin is often a dick.

Consider Fólkvangr or Bilskirnir, Helheim may have a comfy part too.
Avoid asatrú like plague.
Stop watching Vikings, it's cancer after the 3rd season.
Not everybody was a fucking viking in scandinavia & germania. It's called heathenry or paganism.

Stick to your own morale and rules in your life, you're the final judge of your actions.
Learn practical skills, handwork.
Train your body and mind.
Read about the gods and other deities, read the sagas and the eddas, use them to reflect on your own life.

>>19567721
this. don't settle for some new age author's autistic translations and interpretations.

>>19567670

You can start by raiding your neighbors house.

>>19567670
die honorably in combat, believe, and if you're lucky you'll be chosen. Chances are you're a fag and you'll die like a bitch though, so good fuckin luck.