Okay, I'm really fucking lost. I need some insight. Here's

>>19499255
>Continued

So, I head over to a friends house and decide I'll see how I feel after I smoke a little bit, since I had only ever smoked two other times and that was quite a while ago my friend barely loaded the bowl, maybe 1/4-1/3. The amount I smoked was fucking tiny. It was at first, fine, felt like the other times I smoked. Really quickly though I started to think I'd fucked up. For some reason, I felt like I couldn't move at all, and no, this wasn't laced. I can guarantee that. So, I just knew I didn't feel right, after all I couldn't get my body to move. I kept telling myself I needed to tell someone I needed to go lie down and relax because I was really anxious. No matter how hard I tried though, I couldn't speak. I was just stuck outside of my body watching everything go by while I couldn't do anything. The anxiety built up and got so severe that either a) i had a panick attack and started vomiting profusely from that or b) i greened out from that baby bowl and just felt completely fucked. After vomiting for

however long, I have no idea, and barely moving. This was no normal weed high though, it was nearly IDENTICAL to my shroom trips, I have no idea how to explain it but this was like fucking deja vu. Then eventually I was able to get up and my friend walked me to a bed so I could sleep.

So, now, here's the kicker. Not sure if you've heard or not, but weed is supposed to be sort of like a massive boost to people that are susceptible to developing schizophrenia under certain circumstances. So, I obviously didn't think anything of it because I'd always been a pretty anti-social person but after that day I've just been progressively shutting out my family, friends, I just want to be alone, hate going out, just all the things that are apparently signs of prodromal Schizophrenia, the early developmental stage. The symptoms during this stage are very different from the full illness itself.

>Cont.

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hmm

>>19499257
>Continued

So, I'm not depressed, but I've been having these things get progressively worse. I have almost completely lost track of my hygiene, even if I tell myself I need to go do that or something else I just can't get myself to go do it. It's like some severe mental block. I haven't showered in two weeks (except for yesterday when i was forced to go out for my cousins bday dinner) and the same goes for brushing my teeth. I'm extremely irritable and will basically snap on my family for the most basic shit, I genuinely feel like my family all hates me and that they just find me a stressful pain in the ass.

So there's all of that crap, but then about 3-4 days ago, I got another thought. "I want to have schizophrenia. I want to see what that side of shit is like." Much like the thought of wanting to be mute, this one has been there all day every day, I just can't get it out of my head.

Now, after I had that thought a few days ago, I just started reading every fucking thing I could find on the web about schizophrenia, peoples stories, symptoms, etc. That's how I came to realize that I match all of those symptoms. Then the other night as I'm trying to fall asleep around 6am, my sleep schedule is in shambles, I hear my dad walk into the living room, turn the TV on, and start talking to someone like he's on the phone. At first I didn't notice it but after a few seconds I got really confused and suddenly just became fucking terrified. I couldn't make out what him or the TV were saying but I was too scared to leave my room and check, I've never had fear strike me that hard, and I don't know why. After about 5 minutes of that I ended up checking it and and the sound stopped, the living room was dead quiet. Absolutely no one there, obviously, what was I expecting? This was the beginning.

I ended up getting a little bit of sleep after that, I woke up around 8:30 I wanna say and after about 5 minutes of rolling around...

>Cont.

>>19499265
>Continued

After about 5 minutes of rolling around and not wanting to get out of bed I heard a sound coming from my door. It sounded like something scratching it, but I don't have any pets in my house, and I was the only one awake. Maybe five seconds pass and I hear it again... Like long, human fingernails slowly scraping against my bedroom door. At this point I was even more confused than after hearing my dad earlier that morning. What the hell was that?

I tried to go about my day, but I was just, a complete fucking wreck. Those things I'm hearing, those are too fucking real to be my mind fucking with me, right? If those are real though, what the fuck is that?

Since then I've been extremely restless, I can barely eat or sleep at this point. I don't know, people are like, "Well it obviously isn't real, just ignore it or forget about it."

I don't care what you say, there's nothing about those sounds that when I heard them you know they're fake. It sounds so fucking real. This has had me super paranoid and anxious for the past two days since then. About an hour ago I started to also actually see things, but this is weird, there's no way this is Schizophrenia, it can't progress this fact, can it? I've seen these small black things, they come and go really fast but I've seen about 4 or 5 dash across my computer monitor out of nowhere and vanish. They look like little fluffy black things.

I honestly have no idea if I'm actually developing Schizophrenia or not. Maybe this is all some elaborate trick from my mind, maybe I'm fooling myself. I honestly have no idea. I'm just stuck trying to figure out if I'm being like, haunted or something, or if I'm actually going insane.

Anyways, hopefully someone out there with this shit can help me figure this out, I haven't been able to relax at all and It's just snowballing at this point.

Any input or stories from other anons are well appreciated. This has me actually losing my fucking mind, quite literally.

>>19499268
Sounds like you have schizophrenia, mate. I have a lot of the same issues. Reading about it and hyper focusing on it will make the symptoms pop up more commonly(being aware of them=taking conscious note of them). Get help asap. better to start tethering this shit sooner rather than later. Good luck getting happy in life, m8. It might be real difficult depending on your unique case.

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>>19499295
Thanks for that anon, incase you're still lurking, one more quick thing. Is it at all possible that like, this is entirely just me tricking my mind into this happening. I'm doubtful of that but I don't want to end up bringing this up with the family and then it ends up being some fucking prank that I got my own mind to play on me. Is it even possible for this shit to progress this fast? Or am I just overthinking it...

One last thing, just thought I had to mention this it's weird but I think it's also pretty funny.

When I say I've been restless I mean it in more than the literal sense, my body just had been like swaying left to right for no reason for the past two days the entire time I'm sitting down unless I'm like actively engaged in a video game or something. Not like, swaying slightly to the beat of music, but from one arm rest to another, it makes me feel better tho, makes me feel comfortable.

>>19499328
>Is it at all possible that like, this is entirely just me tricking my mind into this happening
I'm glad you asked because the drug use totally slipped my mind. Shrooms can do some strange things even a few weeks or months after you take them and week can trigger these things some times. Not sure about the science of it all, but it's because of the way shrooms are stored after you ingest them. It is very possible that you ave social anxiety/depression and the shrooms are makign those symptoms seem like something else.If that's the case, I still suggest speaking to a professional about it. Tell the truth about the drug use and how long you've had the symptoms and they'll probably be able to help you figure out what's going on in ur noggin.

You need to stay far away from drugs. You need to find a religion and pray/meditate/fast. You're going through a spiritual awakening and it can either consume you or transform you. You need to get ahead of this thing before it gets you. You need to start going down the rabbit hole of esoterics, Buddhism, and Christianity. You've opened doors that only God can close. Heed my warning.

>>19499328
and the swaying can be a lot of things. my guess would be this stuff has put you in a minor state of shock and so you're falling back on pre-birth comforts(swaying is comforting because it's reminiscent of swishing around in utero. car rides put babies to sleep for this reason). I'm not a professional tho. Just parroting some stuff I've read on the topic

>>19499345
Ah, I forgot to mention, other that smoking weed a few weeks ago the last time I did acid was just over a year ago and shrooms even before then, so I'm not sure if that could be playing a toll in this. I'm seeing so many fucking things in my peripherals though, I've only had a few things pop up where I was looking, those blob things I mentioned, but I'm seeing so many things in my peripheral vision just like playing with me.

>>19499350
Interesting. I've also been having a hard time sleeping but I find rubbing my feet together slowly helps me fall asleep much easier.

>>19499357
Just remembered that acid can stay in the spine for years. Weed and popping the back can cause flashbacks seemingly at random and potentially for the rest of your life. If you have schizophrenia those experiments may have lead to an earlier first episode, much like I assume happened with me. As for seeing and hearing things that probably aren't there, the right medication and time put into meditation can and will help if you pursue them.

Again though, it's completely possible what you're experiencing is something entirely unrelated. Plenty of people experience episodes of minor psychosis without actually having life-long conditions. All of us lose our shit some times.

>>19499385
Isn't that just a myth about acid? Can it actually stay in your spine?

That's one of the other reasons I'm confused. I wonder wouldn't I have started getting symptoms sooner? I'll just wait it out and if it gets worse I'll go see someone. I don't wanna make a huge deal out of nothing.

>>19499398
I'm really not sure if it's a myth desu.

Whatever you think is best, but I do suggest figuring out what's good before it's an issue rather than after. Good luck again, stranger.

>>19499405
Thanks a ton.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>19499347
Shut the fuck up. This dude needs actual help, not your stupid garbage.