I partially formed and was a member of a small cult based around

Good job? Why the fuck do we care

Yes, we all did stupid shit as kids.
At least you weren't an emo werewolf?

>>19467673
Did you think being that edgy would get you mad puss? DID it get you mad puss?
Did anything you do ritual wise actuallly help/hinder anyone/anything?

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>>19467695
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XALVTzMOeQ

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This is bullshit.
My friends and I were into true occultism (Crowley, Hermeticism, etc) and Lain(and everything related to Her) when we were preteens.
In my school a chair fell off from a window while we all were in the fucking football(soccer) grounds. Later one of my friends told me he and some girls did a cheap-ass oujia in the bathroom and came back with us being dissapointed until the chair incident happened.
>Funfact: sometimes I still get together with them and watch Lain again. I suppose they grew outta occultism as they lost interest in it.
>Funfact 2: we have tried to solve BlackWings in neocities for years. Should we kos?

>>19467701
This is far more terrifying than actual lycanthropy.

>>19467696
Given the fact that all 5-6 of us in total were girls, I guess we did in fact all get some mad puss.

Plus that's when I had my first "experience" with one.

>>19467748
>girl
>anime
>preteen

Ohgods you were trying to summon yaoi princes weren't you.

>>19467721
Damn, I'm actually a little impressed?

We never got into Ouija boards because the girl who co-founded our little cult-thing had a Christian family, but we dabbled in divination (with candles or precious stones, usually) and had "seances" and a few instances of trying to summon demons to inhabit a human host. Those were fun.

>>19467673
>I partially formed and was a member of a small cult based around lucid dreaming, tulpas, and anime as a preteen.
so you've been here for a while.

>>19467761
>>19467769

Yeah, everything we did had some pretty intense fujoshi vibes to it, when it wasn't a swamp of government conspiracy theories interwoven with new age bullshit.

I still might have some old drawings I did of the "demons" and inhabitants of the world we created via lucid dreaming. If I can dig them up, maybe I'll post them for shits and giggles.

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>>19467777
I can't tell if that's a joke or not, so chuck this into the pile.

>autism

>>19467780
Hell hath no fury like a socially awkward girl going through hormonal changes.

Did you guys actually go through rituals, or was it more just roleplay chanting?

>>19467769
Sounds like good times man.
I gotta be honest... those times were fun. Messing around into this shit was(and is) the good life.

>>19467805
I couldn't have said it better myself.

I honestly think it started out as roleplay, and over a period of 1-2 years it morphed into an actual series of disjointed rituals that we would perform.

Mostly innocuous stuff like keeping dream journals, trying to learn astral projection, lucid dreaming, meditation/self-hypnosis, etc. From there it went into "witchcraft" and consisted of a group of us going out to this sand dune by the main chick's house and holding hands while chanting "so mote it be." and other bullshit.

Toward the end it was mostly a front for preteen political backstabbing and sexual deviance. (Gotta love that rush of hormones, amirite?) So, for example, I had the letter M carved into my arm with a needle to symbolize my being the personal property of a tulpa that the main chick had created. On another occasion, I was tied up and locked in the crawlspace (I was freakishly afraid of the dark and was slightly psychotic) and used as bait for a certain demonic presence that the other girls were trying to get into contact with. real fun stuff.

>>19467673
>Me and a few friends got bullied a lot in school so me stated an anime club, created imaginary friends when nobody else would join our club, and dreamed of shooting up the school

FTFY

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Well, I know it got worse than this, but I did find one of my drawings of one of these tulpa-demon-things my friends fucked around with.

>the cringe is real

>>19467673
> i have a partially formed brain and used to cut myself

Fixed for truth

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>>19467856
The sad part is that's surprisingly tame compared to some stories.
It's kind of annoying that there's this expectation for girls not to share the weird shit they did as teens because purity and gender roles blah, because they always have the creepiest fucking stories.
I don't know, maybe it's all the shit they have to repress.

Did you guys go after actual demons or more like Black Butler demonic pretty boys?
(That sounds obvious, but you'd be surprise how many people seem turned on by weird goat-wolf monstrosities at that age)

OP, why are you such a massive queer?

>>19467927
I need a break from these stupid eclipse threads anyway. Shut up and let people enjoy things.

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>>19467930
Oh. definitely. At least I didn't end up like the victim of the Slenderman worshipers.

We went after a little of both, especially our leader. She had two main enemies: one was "Dark Gaia," which I think is a concept she got from Sonic Unleashed, which was a weird lizard-eyeball monstrosity that was basically the devil, and the other was the tulpa I made, which definitely had the appearance of a pretty-boy demon when the group wasn't treading into weird, fleshy Madoka Magica territory. (Pic somewhat related.)

Most of the time, though, we didn't really know what we were going after. It was usually wandering around the woods at night until whichever one of us we designated as bait was "possessed" by some dark force and then had the shit kicked out of them if they didn't comply with the demands of our leader. (Usually sexual favors, or information she wanted.)

>>19468016
>Look Becky, if you refuse to eat me out, you're obviously a demon we need to repeatedly exorcise with our boots.

I mean, that's the scary part. I can understand wanting to explore darker impulses and desires, and what better way than claiming demonic entities. Girls can get surprisingly "sticks sharpened at both ends" pretty quick though, and they don't even need to be stranded on an island to do it.

Do you still talk to any of them?

>>19467896
Post more drawings if you have them

>>19468083
"Sticks sharpened at both ends" is a wonderful way to put it. Hell, I was usually the Becky in these scenarios (as I had long since been dubbed the helpless "damsel in distress" and by this point I had bought into it), and even I got pretty fucked up when it came to fighting back.

Maybe it'd be easier for me to give you a general picture of what would happen.

>Leader wants to speak to my tulpa-demon via myself trading consciousnesses with him
>I insist that I don't want to, citing the strain on my sanity from regularly forcing myself to dissociate
>I am a pawn to Leader
>Leader waits until later, under the guise of playing some slumber party game that 12-year-old girls play, and gets the rest of the group (2-4 others, depending on the night) to wrestle me into the closet/crawlspace and lock me in the pitch darkness.
>"You can't come out until you trade, Anon."
>Meanwhile my tulpa is aggressively trying to force himself into my skull
>nope out of existence
>Suddenly the next morning
>My face in Leader's crotch
>Everything hurts
>Piece together from accounts later that day that we received "Useful information regarding the movements of the armies of Dark Gaia" by tying me up and scrubbing my skin with salt water and a toothbrush (something something purifying spell something water magic something elementals?) until it bled and my tulpa barked something close to an answer
>And then, as I learn from a small meeting with my tulpa, I was almost smothered by Leader when she made me eat her out. While she was on her period.

But then again, I know that during some episodes I've sexually assaulted the first thing that moves and nearly asphyxiated Leader with a knee sock. So it probably evens out.

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>>19468172
Here's a more recent interpretation of my tulpa. Character for a story I'm building.

digging through sketchbooks right now. Looking for the OG cringe.

>>19468520
This sounds promising as fuck

>>19468455
Ohman, I actually wanna hear more about this.
A story I'm working on involves a girl's childhood "tulpa" gaining independence due to her sort of switching out to deal with shit in a similar manner.
(Quotation marks because it ends up being an actual demon that just latched on to her negative emotions and went with it)

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>>19468520

Dump commencing. These are cursed items. (0/6)

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Starting with some less cringey stuff. Rough sketch circa 2010 of a temple seen during lucid dreams. (1/6)

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More temple. (2/6)

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Here's an interpretation of one of our preexisting tulpas being "possessed" by Dark Gaia. (3/6)

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(Goddamnit sorry for pics being rotated.)

Something something edgelady ahoy. I believe this was from an arc where I discovered some hypnosis MP3s and started a whole chain of events wherein I briefly became a "slave" of one of Leader's tulpas... which was, behind closed doors, loyal to her, and whom she traded consciousnesses with very often.

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Another common visual hallucination of mine during these years. (5/6)

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>>19468719
Also, it is comforting to know I am not the only anon here who has an interest in doing stuff with their love for the paranormal.

Damnit, the other picture I took was of something else non-related. Nvm. (6/6) :|

>>19468796
>>19468592

Hell yes, paranormal inspiration.
Feel free to ask away! I'd have to say that the aftermath of this period of my life definitely mimicked your summary. Also my second year of college.

>>19467721
>BlackWings
?

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>>19468796
Speaking of doing stuff, here's something more recent I've done-- a reimagining of a "mentor" tulpa.

Christ, there were so many of them. Mostly just vague outlines or murmurs, but there were at least 30 in total that came from maybe 3 girls over the course of 3 years.

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>>19468825
I certainly hope not, it does not end well for her.
How so, though? Do you still experience it?

>>19468844
>>19468846
You two need to stop
We can't have good threads in /x/
(but also please don't)

>>19468846
Not so much, thanks to counseling since the age of 15 and 100mg of Zoloft daily for the last few months. But there are a few remnants: the occasional nightmare, a tendency to dissociate when I'm drunk or high, sometimes to the point of switching to some random temporary personality with no memory afterward, and erotic hallucinations (hearing people fucking in another room, randomly smelling semen or vagina where there should not be any, etc).

I also am 100% incapable of meditation as it still triggers flashbacks. Things like faces right in front of mine, shadow people walking around, living sludge seeping out of the closet...

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>>19468846

>>19468838
Lurk moar
Blackwings.neocities.org

>>19468934
It's probably terrible that my first thought was that the worst part would be being worried about getting high. I can somewhat relate having my own collection of weird issues and trauma, though mine are more connecting to everything and needing to be sedated rather than the opposite.

If you don't mind me asking, what was it that made you accept you needed counseling?
There's usually this point where you realize "wait, this shit isn't normal".

>>19469068
Well, I actually never sought counseling for the trauma until a year ago, when I casually mentioned some of the things that happened to my therapist and she flipped the fuck out (and rightfully so.) I had always thought it was normal horseplay, it happened to everyone, etc. When I was 15 I started seeking counseling for anxiety-- just something to make me a functional human being.

As far as realizing it wasn't normal, that happened a year before I sought counseling. I'm sure it, in a way, triggered the need for counseling, because in my opinion it was the biggest trauma for me. I had been meeting up one-on-one with Leader long after the group/cult had fallen apart so that we could abuse each other. Basically the same kind of stuff as I described before, but without any fantasy pretense. But, during one of these meetings, I suddenly snapped the fuck out of it and realized how much I actually hated and abhorred everything that was happening, got the fuck out of there, and spent the next 6 months spiraling because the whole things just made me feel so dirty.

>>19469068
Plus, lol, the whole dissociation thing is something I've had enough practice with to be able to mitigate any damage it could cause. I still get high. I just pay attention to how I'm feeling.

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>>19468455
Fuck when I was in high school my friends and I used to smoke pot and take a shit in front of buildings downtown.

You're a fucking psycho OP.

Girls are weird.

>>19469274
Damn, I wish I had discovered pot earlier. Maybe I would have been able to chill the fuck out and avoid some embarrassments.

But yes, agreed. Girls are a can of worms.

>>19469292
OP sounds cool enough though. Everyone has their baggage.

The weed where I live wasnt that great when I was in HS in the early/mid 2000s though. The medicinal shit hit about half way through and it was so strong it made lots of people I know freak the fuck out and never smoke again.

I got used to it though. lol
Now I'm a burn out stoner who sits around on /x/.

Whatevs though, I get my spoops and I can get stoned.


Sorry to trail off kinda distracted.

>>19469307
Aw, thanks man! You seem pretty down-to-earth, so I trust your judgment.

Being a burnout stoner reminds me a little of being some kind of low-key shaman or monk. You have your rituals and routines and they make life manageable and, hopefully, enjoyable.

>>19469207
Did you feel it was more of a way of venting your feelings at each other, or was it more of a habit at that point?

And yeah, that's always fun. Mine's a build-up of PTSD from abuse, combat, and some Jacob's Ladder-type shit that went down in the old medical discharge barracks after I got injured in combat.
Eventually my mind decided that existence itself was a danger, and couldn't understand why everyone else wasn't panicking. I still can't go grocery shopping without slowly building up rage at the people wandering aimlessly through the aisles without getting stoned beforehand and plugging in headphones, but at least I realize I'm the one that has issues now.

>>19469379
>Jacob's Ladder-type shit

Not OP but if it's cool I really wanna hear this.

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>>19469359
It's definitely cool to think that way. If I treated getting stoned more reverently I guess it could be a deeper thing.

Where I went to HS is in New England so there's lots of haunted shit everywhere. Used to break into abandoned places to ghost hunt with my friends. Never saw anything though.

When you were out fucking around with your friends did you ever see/hear anything particularly strange that you cant attribute to being a dumb teenager/not on correct meds yet?

Dont mean to be rude to ask, I just dont know how to phrase it any other way. I take mad pills everyday anyway so I know those feels.

>>19469379
Definitely a mix of the two, leaning more heavily towards a habit. I only worked up the guts to cut it off with her after I was able to use the excuse that she should be faithful to her new boyfriend.

>>19469399
Haha, I actually haven't slept for a few days and I'm tired enough I can take advantage of it, so I'm gonna go soon.
Plus, it's a bit of a long story and I don't wanna derail OP's thread
>>19469461
Who's been extremely helpful and cool, by the way. Thank you. Also, your use of color is awesome, and not a lot of people realize how big a skill that is.

I'm on Discord as Nemo #7996 though (no, not the fish), and am always open to talk about paranormal stuff if you guys want to add it.

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>>19469405
No worries!

I have had a few experiences, yea. Most of them have been while fucking around in the woods around dusk.

Now, I live in the northern United States, so there's a shitton of forests around here, so much so that even in densely populated urban areas you'll just randomly see three or four deer for no goddamn reason. Just to give you an idea of how big and thick these forests we played in were.

The only weird thing we encountered with any regularity was pic related. We'd just see it, directly facing us, and then we'd book it back home screaming bloody murder. Nobody knew anything about it and we seemed to be the only ones who saw it, but we agreed to the letter on every detail of that fucking thing. It never moved, but it was never in the same place twice. We maybe saw it 2-3 times per summer.