Quite recently I have finally come to terms with the fact that

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Quite recently I have finally come to terms with the fact that I could never achieve happiness through any materialistic means. There is nothing that this world can seemingly offer me. Naturally, I turned to meditation, yoga and esotericism in hopes of finding that which has been missing from my life for all this time. However, often times I doubt myself so much that it's unbearable. Often times I think that I'm simply screwed up and I'm projecting my desire for transcendence, which has always been with me, onto the entire world, and that I am indulging in philosophies and doctrines of other people like me. Sometimes I'm afraid that we are simply using our imagination to alliterative the pain of living a ruthless, meaningless existence. On days like that I feel utterly overwhelmed with sorrow and grief, and simply existing feels like it requires titanic effort. In those moments I feel sorry for everyone and everything and that sadness leaves me totally paralyzed and hopeless. My intuition tells me that there must be more, but on days like these I even doubt my intuition and wonder if it's actually just the wishful thinking of an overly-sensitive half-insane man.

How do you deal with these moments /x/? How many crises did you have and how did you alleviate the pain? Have you ever felt that presence of the divine that comforted you and soothed your doubts? Tell your story if you wish. I'm sure that all of us could use some reassurance in our times of need.