I starting to believe I may be the victim of psychological and

The columbine shit was easy to kick, now that I'm an adult. But the animal stuff is literally the only thing that sexually excited me. The closest I've come to having healthy sexual desires were homosexual thoughts involving anthropomorphic bird and dog men. Whatever evil beings that control my mother had gotten to me at a very young age, I spent a great deal of my life believing I was a reincarnated bird, and that I had carried over the sexual interests of that past life. In my youth I did sexual things with my parents animals, and my mother (and I'm presuming the malevolent entities) were happy for me. I'm broken as a person, through harassment and intrusive thoughts these demons have basically achieved a similar effect to gang stalking. I was screwed from day one because I was born to a troubled woman who's working with literal demons.

Can I still turn to God? How can I redeem myself at this point?

Just before I had left on a trip, I casually ate out a friend's rooster the night before heading to the airport. He knew about it too, he also does this shit. I need to be friends with different people, I want to fucking kill myself because this is all I've ever known. I jerked off my stepfathers black Labrador when I was like nine. This isn't something someone is just born with, these ideas have to have come from an external source. It's like they were implanted directly into my mind. Fuck.

>>19433541
LOL, WHOAZAH!

>>19433543
You should see a therapist... but to make it more /x/, see an Akashic records consultant.

>>19433585
Thanks your fantastic and insightful contribution to my thread.

[spoiler] fuck off [\spoiler]

>>19433589
If I see a therapist and make mention of being under any sort of mind control, they will call me schizophrenic and put me on meds or worse.

>>19433591
I'm sorry, it's a lot to take in at first but I regret that.

your primal aspect is in full bloom and seems to really know how to get you pissed off...in a sincerely mocking and twisted manner. Do you sleep well? What are your fav foods?

How do I lessen their control of me? I've tried to stop masturbating before, but the urge becomes to strong to resist after two or three days. They enjoy watching me break down in such primitive ways, they feed on my frustration and self loathing.

>>19433541
I've been assaulted by entities in a few different ways...still do, m'fraid.

but that's life, isn't it?

>>19433620
it's the energy that you provide them. If the entity loses food, it leaves. You aren't food, so they should be hunted.

>>19433619
I sleep every other day because I work a part time job, never wake up to alarms no matter how loud they are (screaming meanie didn't work) and even though I live with roommates none of them want to wake me up. I stay up the nights before work because I have to be on the bus at 4 AM, so a really horrible sleep schedule. I sleep like 16 hours Friday nights. The foods I eat most are energy drinks, beef jerky sticks, bananas top ramen and water. I am in poverty and have a poor diet as well. I wouldn't be surprised if this had something to do with my weak will. Sorry I lashed out.

>>19433635
brother, I'm sure you've tried. I know how these things can ring out the booty hole dry and slap on no lube for round 10.

they don't have souls, ya know?

anyway, grab a rose quartz or some shit...jk. You have to remind these thoughts that make you horny are hijacking your true masculine energy. Underneath the vile and filth that you hate is a weapon which makes humanity live forever, so fuck those demons (sry dude, no pun intend!).

>>19433620
You can't stop sexual energy, but you can meditate while you feel it and let go of the images you associated with sexuality. Its a feeling, it will arise, then it will go away. Don't beat yourself up too much. It sounds like you went through a very traumatic childhood. Sexual abuse is one of the worst things a soul can go through. You deserve sympathy and compassion for what you go through.

>>19433646
I'm never bothered with these intrusive thoughts on the occasions I've been to church with my grandparents before they died, or in the company of Christians in general.

>>19433640
never be sorry, my man...but keep learning.

diet for sure, my sis had an extreme bout with psychosis because of low potassium. I'd get a blood test, brother 100%.

yea, but the sleep dep. might be a 'stresser' which can open your 'back door' to these things. They find a way in a mind that fears them...and brother, we all fear them.

Being set in a seat of self love, and understanding in yourself through these challenges.

be patient with yourself. Your mom brought into your life projected consciousness,...which made you in turn manifest this.

>>19433541
404 problem not found

>casually ate out a friend's rooster

>casually ate out a friend's rooster

casually

ate

out

>>19433620
You should gain spiritual strength and knowledge and beat the demon by disciplining yourself to act normal. You need to fight for a god/king/ego whatever gets you moving.

>>19433646
>>/fit/ go get your shit together brah.

>>19433556
They were planted directly in your mind by your insane mother dude, I'm really sorry about your situation, you need to get as far away from your mother and step father and evidently your rooster molesting friends too
Go far away, get a lot of counseling and therapy, seek help everywhere you can, becuase assuming you arent a shitposter it sounds like you are just ridiculously warped by the influence of your mother, no demons no evil spirits, just a crazy woman

>>19433556
Move to the polar opposite of where you live now, and seek help. You've been exploited.

I'm so sorry OP. Aside from the obvious "see a therapist" stuff (which you obviously don't want to) I can only suggest to change your internet and IRL habits completely.
If you had any friends that liked this stuff, slowly cut ties while trying to find new ones (don't care too much about finding new friends at this point, just cutting ties at first). Next try not to lurk any websites that enabled this behavior. After a while it will hopefully go away.

It's definitely not comparable, but I was obsessed with sexual abuse last year, to the point where I started fapping to the idea of fucking wounds and ripping people in half. For good or bad something happened to me that shocked me and I started to stay away from fapping in general for a week or so, and then just taking it slow.
Good side: I don't think about abuse anymore.

So pick your poison.
Bad side: I don't really have a sexual drive anymore

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A guro fetish is probably more normal than eating out a rooster, anon.

I suggest moving somewhere else and completely restarting your life. Save up some money and just get out of there. There's nothing in this life for you, so move far away, ditch everything, and cleanse.

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>>19436820
More specifically a school massacre fetish, maybe?

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>>19436869
Just tell me if I'm getting close.

>>19436869
sauce pls

>>19433596
What do you have to lose? Either you are schizophrenic, and the meds give you relief from your torment, or you aren't, and they have no effect. You win either way. A third possibility is that the doctor doesn't diagnose you, and you can use that to show people that you are not crazy because the doctor said you were not crazy. You really have nothing to lose

holy shit
>bump

>>19433596
Not true. You don't have to mention mind control. Growing up with your mother the way she was mind control would not even be necessary for you to turn out the way you did. Psychologists know how important the information you receive as a child is. And say they prescribe you meds, which they shouldn't have to, you don't have to take them if they don't help. But honestly, trying to do away with thoughts planted into you when you were so little is a hard thing to do on your own.

>>19433541
You can't run away from yourself.

>>19433541
>>19433543
>>19433556
Hhhuh.

Ever thought about taking anti-thinking medication like respridal and seroquel? It'll make you stop thinking quickly and nicely.

Ya mum sure is whacky mate. Maybe force your spirit animal on her to cut her for bringing you into the fold.

Not all magic is sexual in nature, don't hinge yourself to ET demons as the only magic.

You're not a monster. Just hyperactivily sexual. I've had similar problems, but more so with raping humans and not animals.

Exorcism is useful. Simply have a truly devout wo/man pray over you. Then start praying yourself. God forgives and will lead you with great wisdom, but as per usual you will lead yourself astray from Him. He will always come back to you, though.

>>19433541
Try talking to birds. Not with your mouth, but with your mind. Birds are good people. They are sarcastic and snarky, and the most compassionate of any animal (as long as they are not caged).

A blue Jay assigned to follow me made me understand why my mother was breeding me to be the ideal husband, why she raped me, and why my stepfather raped me. My whole life I had gone without knowing what I was, and my purpose.

So much sexual magic... so much horror.

Even now, the lasting effects of my upbringing affect my life- all I want is a wife to wait for. It just breaks my heart that waiting on people will drive them away from me.

The bird told me I'd been raised like I was from a different bloodline. I know what it means but talking about it is punishable by death.

>>19433620
P. Sure that these "demons" are just wizards fucking with you with magic and trying to make you their mental fuckpuppet.

G r I e v o u s
S I n

>my mom was crazy
>im crazy too, but its demons!

>>19439385
you ought to post with a trip so I can filter you

>>19439398
>My mom was crazy
>Im crazy too but at least she didn't CASUALLY EAT OUT A FRIENDS FUCKING CHICKEN.

>>19433596
I think you could tell all this to a professional, with saying "mind control". Replace that with "my mother told me" and let them come to that conclusion on their own. Any child of a narcissist is basically under a form of mind control, it's just not called that.

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>>19434213
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