My uncle is a seasoned camper and told me to never camp in the

>>19361223
Dude these stories are all the same

>>19361223
So, Were you fired after all ?

>>19361223
American greentext is always so weak
>so we go camping
>bring minigun and tank and burger okay
>have lots of fun
>but then friend was skinwalker so I run really fast
>dont camp okay

I want an Ausbong friend to start a thread. Australians have the best spooks

>>19361223
Is this satire?
It feels like satire

>be me
>camping with friends
>outside forest is a flashing neon sign that says "don't camp here niggers there are skinwalkers"
>cold shiver runs down my spine but just brush it off as nothing
>in tent at night
>someone opens tent
>it's my friend
>stench of blood, copper, bags of sand hits my nostrils
>my friend is sleeping right next to me
>oh wait no he's not
>my friend said he was counting his copper pennies when he cut himself and he was emulating fake tits
>there were no skinwalkers
>why did the sign say there were skinwalkers?
>didn't sleep a wink that night
>not because I was scared but because I remembered an autistic thing I did in school 8 years ago
>don't go camping fellas

>>19362380
>but just brush it off as nothing
This.
This is the most aggrevating part of bad greentexts
>treebranch snap loudly
>hissing and growling
>monster comes storming out of the woods
>monster eats my cousin
>friend says there's a monster
>"it's probably nothing"

It's like fucking Scully from x-files

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>go camping in local high mountaintops
>remember that there edible mushrooms nearby
>set up tent
>remember I left the microwave on at home
>I wouldn't worry about it
>grab shovel
>start hiking on trail to mushrooms
>mushroom trail leads to wall of dead trees fallen over trail
>get chainsaw
>cut through wall of deadfall to the meadow of broken promises
>find firepit and log bench to sit on
>remember the promise of mushrooms
>but I'm in meadow of broken promises
>grab shovel and leave meadow
>gonna find those mushrooms
>come to small bridge along trail that crosses the hidden spring to end all suffering
>take long sip from spring
>new bounce in step
>look at treetops all around me
>have nostalgic feeling as I remember an old magazine cover from an outdoor magazine from the 50's
>continue along trail to promise of mushroom
>after what seem like days of walking
>come to rotting log of orange mushrooms
>take shovel in hand
>ready myself for the digging

Continue?

if real it's ground gasses

>>19361223
>told me to never camp in the forest of bad nightmares
If you actually had to be told not to camp in a place named "The Forest Of Bad Nightmares"--AND you still did it anyway--you're about as dumb as it gets my man

>>19362588
Yes, continue. Need to hear more about the mushrooms

>>19362975
the mushrooms are dead

fucking skinwalkers.

>>19361223
i
am
satan

>>19361474
no it was just a bad nightmare but I returned to work later on. Tho the boss scared me

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>>19361223
>in shock my juvenile bottoms let out a sound that sounded like a reverse cougar death scream

My uncle is a seasoned Illuminati and told me to never post in the board of bad roleplayers but I still did. What I experienced there was hypersensitive and paranormal.
>I was browsing a CERN thread
>I was about to post for the first time in my life
>I wrote a nice and friendly greeting
>had some flashbacks of seeing a reply “I told you not to do it” before I refreshed the page
>shaked it off as imagination nonsense
>I check out other threads
>sun came down and I fell asleep
>that night I had a dream
>in the dream I was shot by my uncle
>”I warned you”
>his words ring through my ears and I wake up to a loud noise
>it sounded like big ben was next to my bed
>in shock my juvenile bottoms let out a sound that sounded like a reverse cougar death scream
>the smell was familiar and horrible
>”blood and copper” I said gasping for air
>suddenly someone with hoofed feet walked outside my backyard
>I saw a shadow in the dark as it etched closer to my window
>as it came closer the sounds changed to human shoe sounds
>I was about to die and made a last stand for air
>I look out my window
>outside was my uncle and goosebumps overloaded
>I screamed a bloodcurling scream
>somehow my uncle copied the scream but it sounded a little echoing
>I closed the window and waited for sunrise
>that morning I woke up
>Paul Walker is sitting at the edge of my bed
>"your uncle send his regards"

>>19361223
>Forest of bad nightmares

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>>19361279
>>19361807
>>19362480
>>19364063
>taking a shitty trollpasta this seriously