ITT we talk about weird church experiences I'll start.

I think I hate the christian god.
1100 years ago the Norse had an excellent religion system. They let people believe what they wanted, and they found power in their gods. Some people didn't believe in gods at all.
They even let people believe in the new christian god when it showed up. It was just another deity. Then forcible conversion after forcible conversion happened and they choked out the old gods like weeds choking out flowers.
"God" god is the shepherd. All of his followers are sheep. The adversary is the shepherd's pet wolf. When one of his sheep stray from the flock, the shepherd finds the wolf, informs him of the stray sheep and allows the wolf to maul the stray sheep. The flock sees only the wounded one and are thankful of the protection their shepherd offers them, and watch the shepherd kindly take care of the one that almost died.
Ever read the book of Job? It happens all the time. We based our culture off the false hell/false savior mentality that christianity gave us. It shows up in our advertising and consumerism.

Anyway, I go to Church. It's always a weird experience.

>be in middle school
>each year on a specific date all christian students are encouraged to gather around flag poles before class starts and pray in public
>after school we all attend a kind of meeting in our local theater
>suddenly out of nowhere this random guy stands up from the audience
>eyes closed and voice loud and clear he starts talking about how God is pleased with us for standing by our faith is a public capacity
>when he stops and sits down, the pastor on stage is clearly baffled
>we carry on worshiping
>never knew the guys name so we forget about it over the years

tl;dr random guy channels Jesus in front of one hundred middle schoolers

>>19342964
Was an ordained minister for two years now I have almost no faith. Haven't stepped foot into a church (my denomination or otherwise) for nearly 8 months.

I was tired of people constantly twisting my words and the words of the bible to fuel their own crooked beliefs and hatred. It was exhausting, I miss the sense of community and family but not the religious experience.

Hoo boy, do I have some stories.

My adoptive parents joined a really bizarre evangelical Christian cult when I was about 11 years old. They both got ministry credentials and started working for the church. Their behavior kept getting more and more bizarre. My biological mom heard about it and tried to get her shit together to get custody of me again, but failed, so I was stuck in this group until I was 18.

> parents adopt me out of foster care when I am 9
> around age 11, we start attending church a lot
> by age 14, I am at church seven days a week, at prayer meetings, working, etc.
> I go after school every day and on Sundays we attend three separate prayer services.
> I am not allowed to have any friends outside of the church, or view popular media (magazines, tv, etc)
> the church pushes veganism very heavily, saying it is required by the bible. We eat nothing by bread and vegetable soups for three years.
> we also practice religious fasting, so every once in awhile it would be decreed that we had to not eat during the day, and live off of one meal a day for forty days
> my parents were kinda retarded about nutrition, so I actually developed severe malnutrition problems from it.
> they also embrace this weird "Christian Discipline" movement that embraced corporal punishment
> it also required taking doors off of hinges so teenagers never have privacy, timing them in the bathroom, forcing them to take cold showers, and having them dress behind a curtain to prevent masturbation
> this movement also encourages husbands to regularly "discipline" their wives with spankings and groundings, so they stay spiritually submissive. It was kinky af tbqh
> during summers I had to write book reports on books assigned by the ministers
> a lot were pretty standard Christian mainstays, like CS Lewis and Philip Yancey
> but one summer it was nothing but Ayn Rand novels, and another time we had to read these odd true crime books and discuss the nature of evil

cont

I grew up Mormon, and we did baptisms and sealing for the dead by proxy. That means I would go to the temple and be baptized 5-10 times for a dead person.
I was doing this during a youth trip one day, and one name really stuck out in my head. Americus Fadden was her name.
I got out of the baptismal pool and went to get changed. While I was in the locker room I heard someone whisper my name
"Anon"
I looked around and there was nobody anywhere near me.
Shrugged it off
A louder whisper "ANON... Thank you"

It was pretty intense and it was the only supernatural experience I've ever had.

Still wasn't strong enough to keep me in the church though. I'm agnostic now.

>>19343357

I'm religious and I can't stand going to church. There's a big reason behind why there used to be monks and how a lot of religious thinkers were hermits.

>>19343466
Please continue, I'm interested as hell

continued from >>19343466

My creepiest story about this church group involved one of the church moms. Let us call this woman Cathy.

> Cathy was heavily involved in volunteering and church planning committees
> she was always dressed very prim and proper, and acted saccharine sweet with everybody she met everything was kittens and rainbows
> she was like a real life version of Dolores Umbridge - behind the kittens and rainbows and sensitive tears, there was a serious dark side
> I ended up babysitting for her kids a few times.
>They youngest two were always very distracted and strange, and acted out a lot
> One day her kids were just acting normal and playing and we had a great time
> she rushed home from work early, apologizing that she had forgotten to give them their "medicine"
> she explains to me that her five and six year old both had serious mental illness and had to be on heavy duty psych meds
> she tells me she forgot to medicate them that morning and says I must be ready to quit, they are such uncontrollable monsters
> naw they were fine I tell her
> eventually she starts having me start work earlier some days and feed her kids breakfast
> she trusts me to give them there meds. As an experiment, I don't do it
> every day I just throw the pills away, the kids are normal, happy children
> on days mom medicates them they act like hostile little zombies and can't seem to play or show interest in anything
> I start asking questions, saying that I am trying to better understand the kids' conditions
> I look up the medications, and find that they are usually only given to adults. I wonder where she got the prescriptions from.
> kathy gets nervous about the questions
> she finds another babysitter

cont...

continued from >>19343532

about a year later...

> Cathy starts a parenting support group at the church
> at the parenting group she starts accusing some parents of letting their daughters have inappropriate relationships
> she claims that the junior high girls who hold hands fix each others' hair are acting in a way that is unnatural, and they should be forcibly separated
> she takes it upon herself to start chaperoning the girls of the youth group, following them into the bathroom to make sure they don't do anything "improper"
> she also starts talking a lot about the homosexual agenda, trying to push the church to get involved in political action and protests
> this actually causes a ton of damage, because due to the success of her campaign, money gets pulled from things like education, outreach, and charity programs to fund the anti-gay crusade
> when people call her out on it, she would fall to the ground shaking, or hyperventilate, and generally fake an anxiety attack or seizure and blame them for stressing her out
> she starts claiming she believes in spiritual warfare, and that non-christians are sending demons against her to stop her work
> more and more radicalized families are joining the church, and they start to pick up on this
> "spiritual warfare" becomes a convenient place to put blame when 'Christian Discipline' tactics fail badly
> pretty soon any teenager or child that acts up a bit or questions the church is being forced into exorcism and faith healing sessions, and the adults have learned to keep entirely quiet

but here is the creepiest part about the Cathy story...

cont

File: slightly nervous .jpg (26KB, 480x490px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 480x490px

>19343466
>Ayn Rand
>Evangelical cult
hmmmm

continued from >>19343623

> So, Cathy has a sister, a quiet, anxious woman who mostly keeps to herself
> one day Cathy's sister decides to divorce her husband
> the divorce is pretty ugly for the sister financially, she has nowhere to go
> the church doesn't approve, but Cathy's family takes her in
> After about a year, she disappears with her kids
> at first it is treated as a missing persons case, but it turns out she was staying in transitional housing nearby, assisted by a woman's domestic violence shelter
> when confronted about leaving, she says that she was frightened for her childrens' safety, and needed to leave the church for her kids' sake
> nobody thinks to question why she was taken in by a domestic violence shelter. She seems deeply afraid of Cathy and Cathy's husband.
> Cathy loses her fuckin' mind
> she convinces the parenting group that her sister has denounced god
> she convince them that her nieces and nephews need to be rescued from a non-christian upbringing by a single mother
> everyone in the group gets an assignment
> false complaints are lodged against the sister at work until she is fired. She loses one job after another.
> false complaints are lodged with her landlord and she loses her housing
> false complaints are lodge with the police and CPS
> basically, the woman is hounded and harassed constantly for months
> Cathy never stops trying to get custody of her sisters' children
> the sister never breaks though, and eventually drops off the map with her kids

I still think about that woman, what she went through, how far she had to run to get away.

I know when I left the church, I was part of a similar harassment campaign that lasted 6 years before I ran far enough, and they lost interest. Last year, Cathy somehow found my number and started calling me to tell me how she still thinks of my suffering and prays for me. It is all sugary sweet on the surface, but it sounds like threat. Like a reminder that I am not forgotten.

I am devout Christian (even about to graduate seminary with an MA in Divinity) but never believed in the gift of tongues. Always interpreted Acts to mean a real language, used for evangelism.

One day, I went to a Pentecostal service and suddenly, it felt like fire in my chest. It was terrifying. My eyes watered but it felt like they were plucked out. I could not stand. I fell to the floor and began speaking in tongues. I could not stop. It was like word vomit but it sounded like Elvish from Lord of the Rings mixed with Japanese.

When it was over, someone told me that was a beautiful prayer I said. When pushed, I discovered she had heard me say "Lord, bring us back to you and let us quit running from your love. We have always believed, but in our sin we have fled. Bring us home."

Still baffled but amazed by God.

>>19343662

Yeah, I know, right? It doesn't make any damn sense.

Have you ever read Rand? Her books have zero Christian content whatsoever, and border on softcore porn.

Anyway.

cont from >>19343688


There was a handful of other weird stuff.

>The church pushed for a lot of money and tithes.
> I remember having to give up all my babysitting money and money from summer jobs to the church
> The 'Christian Discipline' support groups were basically a bunch of adult married women standing around, asking how often they should be spanked or "corrected" to have a biblical household
> There was also a belief in "stay-at-home daughters"
> I knew two families that literally set aside one of their daughters and forbid her from ever marrying or dating, because these girls were supposed to stay home and care for their aging parents
> the girls never got a choice in the matter. But then, every girl was supposed to get her father's permission before courting and father's were ultimately the ones who were supposed to decide whether or not they married.
> One girl stayed, never left home, and as far as I know still lives with her father in her forties
> The other girl GTFO, went to college, and got married

Anyway. That's all the weirdness I've got. Enjoy.

Wait god forced you to pray to him and forced you to say something nice about him?

Christian god must actually be Kim Jong Ill

>>19343721
Thanks for the stories Anon. They were interesting, hope this cult never finds where you ran off too.

>>19343711
great prayer. think i'll remember that one.

>>19343711
>tfw aspiring Christian myself
>tfw watch a few Pentecostal sermons online
>tfw originally when I was an atheist i saw them and was freaked out
>tfw now pretty interested in them
I've never talked in tongues before anon. If I show up at a service, do I know that I'll feel the same conviction you felt? If i Don't do I just stand there awkwardly or fake it?