What's a cool religion to get into that isn't

>>19254709
Deism

>>19254709
Taoism

>>19254709
Buddhism.

>>19254709
As many that seem relevant

>>19254724
Everything other than this. All religion is designed to *seem* relevant. It's like cold reading.

>>19254709
Go no religion. Atheïsm is cool. And there must to learn in esoteric literature if you like.

How bout not wasting your time. Thats always a good one.

>>19254709

Shugendo.

>>19254709
>isn't Christianity or Islam?
judaism

hindooism or buddism are pretty dank, you can get them siddhis apparently which i looked into after another anon on here mentioned it a few days ago and you can like turn invisubal and read ppls minds and other crapola pretty cool huh.

Discordianism. There is no God and her name is ERIS.

Yoga isn't so much a religion as much as it is a spiritual path. Look into the yamas & niyamas. Yoga teaches to respect a power greater than yourself and it doesn't label it as god or anything similar so it's open for personal interpretation and how you relate to the proverbial powers that be. Bonus: doing asanas (otherwise known as yoga poses) give you great core and overall body muscles which means you look as great as you feel.

>>19254709
Esoteric Christianity.

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Assfartarism, it's a pretty cool religion, you get to pray to sexy asses and you can fart as much as you want.

>>19254709
Aint no cool religions, kid. That said, if someone wants me to, I can explain something to you that you'll find far more interesting than any religion. I might just be tempted to tell you the truth.

That said, I'm tired. If someone posts interest in, say, 5 minutes, I'll talk. Past that, I'm off to bed, methinks.

>>19254709
Gnosticism and Hermeticism are pretty cool imo.

>>19255721
Go on my friend, I'm interested

>>19255721
Post it bro

>>19254709
Urantia book

>>19255737
>>19255743
Alright, alright. You got me within my time limit, I'll do it. Just give me a few moments to type. Gonna learn you kids some shit.

>>19254709
Who's this slut?

>>19254709
Christianity is cool?

>>19255755
A few moments have already passed you faggot.

>>19255755
I'm tempted to start at the beginning, but that trope is so played out I'd probably lose half of you right there. So instead, let's start somewhere interesting: a general overview.

Most of the paranormal nonsense you've read is just that. Most religions are mostly lies. What you believe is, I'm confident in saying (unless some of you are from very, very old families who remember what they were told to remember) is bullshit. BUT. Some of it, just a little, has a basis in truth.

See, there's a small set of beings in this reality that have functionally limitless control over it. Their only constraints are set by one another. No, before you ask or hypothesize, you are not one of them. Or if by some fuckin odd chance you are, you better damn well be sorry. Anyways, there are seven of them. Or were. As far as I know there's only one left here now. These seven, though, are directly or indirectly responsible for just about every deviation from the standard rules of the realm they created. Over the ages, they also raised representatives from the native species to enact their will, giving these angels portions of their power. The angels varied in power, with some of the stronger early ones being seen as gods in and of themselves.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, because now would probably be the best time to get back to the aforementioned beginning.

So, in the beginning, there was shit all. But we don't even want that beginning, because we're going back farther. Picture another where. Another place, empty, a void without time or space. Another place starting with shit all, as it were. Then someone or something, the entity avatar of the being that created the place, created a subordinate. This subordinate was a preliminary object shell, incomplete. It was not a true entity in and of itself, but could handle some basic management, and was given responsibility for time. Then it made another like the first, for space. Then we start getting to the interesting part.

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>>19254737
The problem is Atheism is a religion at this point. Any time you get a large enough group following a like idea to the point it's almost cult like, than by the very definition it's a religion.

Religion: a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.

>>19255820
Nihilism

>>19255829
Fair enough

>>19255813
Sounds like Gnosticism

>>19255813
So here we are. We have a place that's not here. And it is a proper place now, because it has space and time, and managers for each. The avatar of the creator makes another object, this one designed to be a mimcry of its parent. It is more complete than its elder siblings, a full consciousness. At the time, it was called First, but that changed with subsequent events, so now it is called Seventh. And you'd better hope never to get on its bad side, because it is the single most powerful and ordinately privileged being to have ever influenced this place.

But it was a prototype. A first, at the time. Six more followed it, and they were each different. Each represented different combinations of whatever their creator thought were boolean traits. Some of these traits were well-defined, others were not. What the Seven would make of their traits, and how they would explore them, would eventually lead to the creation of the reality you have the good grace to inhabit.

Eventually, they began to feel the effects of their differences. Some settled at friends with one another, others did not. Their internal politiking was distasteful, but their creator did nothing to stop it. In fact, that creator did little at all. It stopped. Its avatar came to rest, and to this day we do not know why.

So here we had seven beings in full control of a bare-bones space and time, with all the resources they could ever want. It wasn't long until they created playgrounds for themselves. Realms, to test their theories about themselves and the natures of reality both as they experienced it, and in general. This is one of those realities.

It was Third who did most of the real work. She was always the creator among the seven, embracing the change of creation and destruction. With Fourth's help, the blueprints for this realm were set. Fourth kept her in check, comlimenting her mind with his. It was Fifth, however, who made the most interesting contribution: humans.

>>19255850
I haven't F5'd so hard in years. Please continue, good sir/ma'am!

>>19255813
>>19255850
That's interesting
There's no denying that entites capable of manipulating what we know as reality exist.

>>19255850
Fifth wanted a set of beings that would be similar to the core nature of the Seven. However, he restricted their influence over their envirnment to make them more predictable and susceptable to manipulation. These are humans, made in his image.

So they all set to work: Third doing the mental heavy lifting, Fourth recording, Fifth forging his own special creations, and Second helping where she could. First did little, as he's a bit of an intolerable fuckwit, and he never worked well with others. Sixth contributed here and there, but the look in her eye said that this was perhaps not really for the best in the long run. And of course, Seventh watched, commenting occasionally.

They set the start-conditions for their new reality specifically so that it would evolve naturally to a certain point. They had the resources to backtrace from desired outcomes as required, and they put them to good use. Then, once they were done, they set the whole thing in action. It was glorious to see, a whole realm spreading out exactly according to plan. The simulation of their own reality was the best they'd ever implemented, and it took some time to churn to the desired point in history. When it did, they stepped in.

In those first years, they were in so many places at once. Scattering around, exploring, and establishing themselves everywhere they found humans. They uplifted representatives, angels, and avatars of their own. In that age, they took many names. For most of them, those names were the ones they would begin to use amongst themselves when not referring to their numbers. Third became Tiamat, Second became Amya, Sixth became Nyx, and Seventh became Sen.

But, while these times are interesting in a historical sense, they're not what we're here for today. I'm guessing most of you are either christian or have immersed yourself in christian mythos. Or perhaps you are jewish or muslim. So let's skip to the part that will matter most to you: what became of Fifth.

Mfw Bahai hasn't been mentioned

>>19254709
Christianity or Islam

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Hot grill.

Also Scientology, my dude.

>>19254709
Zoroastrianism
you literally worship the fire god and when you die you get returned to nature via aggressive crow pecking

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>>19255913
Did you know that Rainn Wilson, Dwight Schrute from The Office, is of Baha'i faith?

>>19255903
Fifth came to call himself Yeshua. Perhaps you recognize the name.

He was the one who simply called himself god. Made sense, after all. He did create humans more or less by himself. He was the closest they came to having a real parent figure the way the Seven did. I think that's how he saw himself, really. Maybe that's the real reason this whole place exists.

Thing is, he and Sixth didn't get along too well. She was a real bitch, imho, but that's largely beside the point. She and Fifth were, in many ways, diametrically opposed. And to make it worse, they were also very similar. Each had an affinity for strength in numbers, in bringing together the group. They just approached it from different sides.

Fifth was a really friendly guy most of the time. Believed in everyone coming together and contributing what made them different into a whole that was more than the sum of its parts. Sixth, on the other hand, believed that what was best was for everyone to be exactly the same. In particular, she wanted them to be the same as her. All parts of one cohesive whole, that was only her at heart.

So needless to say, they didn't get along. Though I think I've already said that.

Wherever Fifth went, Sixth followed and corrupted. Fifth would reveal himself to the humans, and teach them, and Sixth would follow in the shadows that are her birthright and teach them to control one another. His were the faithful, hers were the priests. It had happened many times through history, but the one that really set Fifth off was the jewish peoples. They really were his chosen ones, at least at first. He hated her for what she did to many of them. They fought. When beings like them fight, things do not go well for those around them. The world suffered. Then Seventh stepped in.

As the elder sibling, Seventh exercised its authority. It took Fifth's side, bacause as I mentioned, Sixth is an unlikable bitch. So she got the fuckin slap of a lifetime, to say the least.

>>19255983
So then Seventh sat them all down. It set out some new rules, to make sure this sort of thing would, in theory, never happen again. Seventh also reset the shape of the world, as was its priviledge.

The new rules were accepted, but some did not take them well. Third and Fourth left this world, to begin work on another. They had had their fun, and were ready for a new horizon.

Sixth threw a little shitfit. Nobody was surprised.

First, oddly, took it quite well. He'd been busy for quite some time with the south americans, and quietly returned to them.

Fifth and Second, who were by that time more or less a couple, at least as far as such beings can be, were grateful for their elder's intervention. Both had great care for their creations, for the humans. Nonetheless, it tooks some time for Fifth to regain the confidence and motive to return to his people. He wanted another try: an attempt to shape things without Sixth's interference. This would be about the time he took the name Yeshua, or Joshua. You might know this particular avatar as Jesus (because language never ceases to amuse me).

You probably know the stories. You know what he did, where he went. Or at least, you know some of it. Most of the books now are so innacurate as to be funtionally lies, but some of the basis are still there. He tried, you know. He tried to teach them, to guide them. He really believed in them. Second was there with him, helping, watching. Seventh, too, but from farther away. Then they killed him.

It was a perfect act. All the stones lined up, and he took the chance to make a really impressive show. He told them, I'll be back. Three days. They couldn't even wait three days to see.

They killed the one who wanted to wait for him. They started preaching their own versions of events. They couldn't help themselves. He came back, and he saw it, and he was so disapointed. He couldn't even blame Sixth. So, he left. Second went too. Haven't been seen since.

stop being a nigger

>>19256039
Before they left, they asked a favor of Seventh. To watch over the world. If Seventh was to stay, which it wished to do, would it keep an eye on the humans. Even with their betrayal, Fifth still harbored some love for them, and Second still thought warmly of them, as she did of everything.

Seventh agreed, and for a time things went smoothly. Most of the gods were fading, as their connection to their absent patrons diminished. I suspect First actually covertly killed several, but I'm not sure. Sixth definitely did.

It was around five hundred years later that shit hit the fan again. First and Sixth, the most individualistic individuals ever to exist, somehow decided to team up. First posed as a god, as THE god. As Fifth. Sixth went among the humans, guiding them to First, changing them in new and dangerous ways. She was his prophet.

This is really what kept things from boiling over sooner. Sixth had always been female, and Seventh did not suspect her of being able to take a male form. It was an ability largely unique to Seventh, due to its odd and incomplete nature. In that way, she threw off her sibling's suspicion for long enough to amass a significant following.

See, Sixth and First had been working. They'd been learning new tricks, and changing themselves. Seventh, despite its power, had been stagnating. It stalked the forests of north america, for the most part, spending time amongst its people and its angels. It was a god of slow change. So when it finally called its two remaining siblings out, and challenged them, they surprised it by fighting back.

Together, they did it a great harm. The exact details of that fight, I don't know. Nobody does, as far as I know, except perhaps Sixth. The gist of it is this: the younger two managed to sever Seventh from its power, and trap it here. Then First betrayed Sixth, and Seventh used the last of its strength to kick both out for good.

So that's where we are now. One almost dead god left.

>>19256104
I think I'm done for tonight. Hope some of you took something away from this, because I probably won't repeat it for a while. Remember my words, and maybe spread them around. Can't hurt people to know.

Fuck, can these things be archived? I know they can on /tg/. Someone competent might want to do that.

Good night, /x/. Maybe I'll see you again sometime.

>>19254709
Give up. They're all stupid superstitions. Become a Trumpfag for all it's worth.

>>19255959
What. Tell me more. I was going to say Zoroastrianism but I only know a little about it (which all sounds cool though) and have never heard what you've just said.

>>19256104
That was fantastic. Thank you!

>>19254824
the dogma is rich and is a full length religion and a very wise choice
but chosing a religion just cause "is kool" its stupid

>>19255829
thats not a religion its a philosophycal osition

>>19254709
HEIL FUCKING EMBER
EGS TILL I DIE
EGS AFTER I DIE
SHOOT UP ALL SCHOOLS
HEIL FUCKING EMBER
3.1 TRILLION DEAD EGS MEMBERS

>>19254709

It's a big spiritual universe. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't "straddle the fence". You don't have to pick any religion. The way I see it, there is a war for souls, and people are both the combatant and prize. Fight for yourself, Anon. Exercise YOUR will. Resist splurging. Resist cravings. Resist. RESIST. Don't ask for help from other beings. Do it on your own. Make yourself strong. Make a place for yourself in the spiritual realm. Don't let "religions" say you're too weak and it's okay to ask for help. You can fucking do this, Anon.

I don't know if it's cool or not but the stuff in the book of Urantia is pretty damned far-out

your own
but only if you can actually be arsed to lay down some dogma, and write some sort of a epic narrative manifesto that spans several families, and several generations.

>>19254709
Christianity and Islam aren't cool to begin with (unless you consider xenophobic hatred "cool.")

gnostic christianity

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>>19254717
>>19254723
These are my personal favorites.

>>19255913
>>19255972
I don't think I've ever really looked into it, but I've always meant to. I love studying religions.

>>19254709
theistic satanism

Not being edgy, but leveyan satanism has some pretty agreeable ideas of you take a read

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Taoism.

Druidism.

Sikhism

Satanism

Tengri

Zoroastrianism


You're welcome.

>>19259141
this picture makes me interested
tell me more about Taoism

>>19254709
Mormonism

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>>19259229
You and your closest friends die then wake several hundred years later as immortal little girls with supernatural powers.

>>19256039
Didn't leave, Nyx did it. Not that you should believe me.

>>19259547
where do I sign up?

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>>19259567
Call the hermit for an appointment.
Fair warning she has sticky fingers.

paganism. pretty much the rules are don't hurt nature and people.

>>19255903
What is the name of Fourth?

Old protochristianity, kaballah, gnosticism.

>>19259614
People are part of nature. You've been rused into thinking Paganism values more than one thing.

Try Discordianism! Although I'll have to warn you, I'm afraid Eris might have been developing mommy issues lately.

>>19255959
Am Zoroastrian, you don't worship a fire God, Ahura Mazda is the God of all good things, we have the fire as our symbol because it represents purification

>>19254709

hermetic philosophy - The Kabalion

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Why not try the Church of the Subgenuis? Salvation or you money back! Praise "Bob"!

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>>19254709
Judaism

>>19254709
bahaism

>>19254709
metahistory.org

>>19255766
Amanda Wenk

>>19261895

>Judaism

Pthu!

Looking for a religion kind of misses the point to me. It's about experiences and how you view them more than looking for something.

>>19262298
ASU

>>19262337
Wut?

>>19255813
I got to thinking maybe I'm the dragonborn and I just don't know it yet

>>19254709
Buddhism or Taoism. they're more about wisdom than dogma. and they don't sue fear as a motivator.

>>19255123
I didn't know Jackalcakes used /x/.

>>19262343
Arizona State University

>>19262365
Is this somewhat related to Judaism, or it's just another meme that I don't know about??

OP is a fucking faggot

>>19262369
It's not a meme. I thought you were asking if I was attending The Protestant Theological University.

>>19262395
Anon, that would be Tptu.
Pthu is supposed to be the sound that you make when you are spitting on the ground in disgust.

Are you damaged ~ desu?

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>>19262413
Possibly I haven't slept for two days.

>>19254709
Rastafarianism is cool because a lot of it is about ganja
But the rest of it is about worshipping some dude as god and that's meh
Christiantys cool know Im gonna get shit for that but real ones are cool

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>>19262433
That's no good Anon, you need to go to sleep.

>>19254709
Jesus Christ is the way and the truth and the life; there are none you come to know the Father except through Jesus.

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>>19262446
I can't I have to transfer 400 GB worth of data to a desktop & laptop because my school laptop's Windows 10 install shat the bed.

>>19262452
who*

oops

>>19262453
Well then, I wish you good luck in not passing out Anon.

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>>19262464
Thanks Desu, I'm pretty bored want to continue talking while I wait for this pain to finish?

>>19262477
I got my own work to do so I'm afraid I won't be able to do that. Sorry.

Also, we're derailing this thread like a bunch of faggots.

>>19255736
faggot

You fucking idiots derailed my thread. A big FUCK YOU to all you bozos

>>19263816
Sorry ;_;

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Sanatana Dharma.
https://www.youtube.com/user/DharmaNation
Sri Acharyaji is pgud.

>>19263845
Wouldn't recommend this guy. Supposedly is a disciple of Bhakti Rakshak sridhar maharaja yet doesn't follow the gaudiya vaishnava philosophy or tradition.

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>Converting to a religion because it's "cool"

>>19254852
HAIL ERIS!