If an alien came to your doorstep and asked to have a conversation

>*whisper* run!

>>19237769
"Have you heard of the Chinese Footjob Forests?"

>>19237769
Same as any other conversation that takes place on my doorstep: I'd politely ask the (((space))) nigger to fuck right off my property, all the while stroking my hunting rifle

File: tmp_20186-66d1154226048.jpg (36KB, 525x395px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 525x395px

>>19237769
I would offer them a drink. Probably they wouldn't drink it, because the odds of having a compatible metabolic system is rare, and the risk of contamination from Terran strain pathogens would be high. But maybe they could analyze it, and replicate the flavor or something. Anyways, it's symbolic.

Based on their response, I'd inquire about their drinks, and improvise from there. I have found this method to be a sufficiently authentic approach to starting human-like conversations with Nice Company.

>fuck up cunt, go annoy someone else

>>19237769

"the power of Christ compels you", until I am 100% sure its not a demon of sort. If it is truly an neutral creature and just observes us and wanted to communicate to share observations and details. I'd sit right down there and we would chat about everything possible

>>19237810
All aliens are demons. There are no good spirits or magic, it's all bad according to God.
Black and White magic, the duality of man, that's just Free Mason talk which are lies of Lucifer.

>>19237769
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and Savior?

I would talk with it, but I'd talk like Juvenile in the song "Ha" the entire time.

>>19237769
"No."

you're talking in your mental vessel. that's not even the top of the list. mental is immediate after astral.

if you went to an anthill and asked to have a conversation with the ants, how would they start it?

What's good my nigga from space

>slam door in face
>go back to 4chan
>continue to LARP

>>19237769
>Have you heard the word of God?

>>19237769
I'm british so naturally I'd offer it a cup of tea.

>>19237769
I would ask them who they are and where do they come from. I'll also try to befriend them.

I'd tell him Xenu is already here and slam the door.

I'd slam it on the table and fuck him raw in any orifice I could find. If none are present I'd just make one and then proceed to make sweet, unprotected interspecies love

>>19237769
>"have you heard about our Lord and Savior Cthulu?"

WE

>>19237769
I'd ask if they wanted to look around I guess. I mean they came to my doorstep so they needed something.

>Do you want to come inside?
>Do you have the ability to transfer all your knowledge to me and if so would you be willing to do it?

>>19238783
WERE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>19237769
talk to them about Jesus Christ and how He saved all of humanity from sin

>>19237769
If the alien has an aura of terror like shadow people have, I'd have to start conversation by saying, "H-hold on a m-moment, I'm n-not as t-terrified as I look." By the time I managed to stammer all of that out it would be true enough for government work. From there I'd be able to ask if earth's environment was safe and comfortable for them, and then (if that didn't start conversation) next up I'd ask if I could help with figuring out any of the vagaries of human culture.

After that, if I'm still talking to an alien and left fishing for a conversation topic, I'll start bugging them for details about their own culture. Failing all else, if it got awkward and I found myself leading everything, I'd throw caution to the wind and try out this rant I wrote a few years ago about what nineteenth century anarchist literature teaches us about xenocultural translation of aesthetic systems. It's not that I think the contents of it is valid, it's that I think the rant would be unique; at the very least I'd leave the alien having heard something they'd only hear from a single human.

>>19237769
why are you naked

>>19237769
perty lil mouf u got there wit dem big ol eyes
hobout we uh go inside and chat bout out that mouf
can do

Why?

ayy lmao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akcuRgLdgjc

>>19237795
Id start off by nuking u from orbit and saving any creature alien or otherwise from your immense faggotry

First of all just because theyre aliens...doesnt mean they DONT smoke weed. SO u offer them a blunt.

Thats how they know for sure u mean peace bruh.

>>19237769
Fuckk off demons

i think the conversation would be kinda awkward after a while, when I had to explain why we humans literally have hundreds of movies, where we try to kill all aliens...

>>19237769
So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this is gonna end in but stuff right? Or if I'm feeling extra ballsy I might ask who the hell chooses some random asshole in the sticks for a conversation. These sentences would of course come with the smell of a grown man who shit himself.

>>19237769
What's so funny, why do you guys keep saying "lmao" ?

File: Screenshot from 2017-07-04 03-42-18.png (1MB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1366x768px

Latitude:
39.142219543457
Longitude:
117.17666625977 dsomethign happened here

>>19237769
>u want a beer homie?

a due date?
told me the smell gets removed thought abt u thinking though

tonight?

>>19237769
Hey, long time no see, come on in and grab a beer

>>19241436
What happened?

>>19237769
Immediately try to kill it with the nearest blunt or sharp object I could find.

>>19240314
Telepathy.

It was telepathic.

I braced for fear, I didn't expect to feel as naked as Adam in the garden. I blurted well-wishes and ran away blushing, my mind churning with the implications of telepathy as a thing that actually exists.

"Can you kill me?"

>>19237769
BUT I POOP FROM THERE MISTER!!!

you got any really good fappening pics or those space drugs from Cheech and Chong's Next Movie?

>>19237769
crack open a cold one

>>19237769
by putting on my robe, and wizard hat.

File: ayylm.png (361KB, 448x448px) Image search: [Google]

361KB, 448x448px

>>19237769
"Can I fuck you?"

Ask if it's a female cause for some reason I really want to fuck an alien.

If fart out those musical notes from close encounters of the third kind

>>19237769
is raping and killing an alien illegal ? Its not subject to laws of any country on earth and not a legal person.It's not even 'human'.

>>19237769
If an alien comes to you in alien form, I have some bad news for you.

File: tmp_3776-nectar of the Gods654964822.jpg (478KB, 1173x1121px) Image search: [Google]

478KB, 1173x1121px

>>19238535
Don't do it, Brit-anon! The ayys are only after one thing..

yoo broo i got some bomb chronz, also peep my new beats, yo you top rock ? bruh have some water, this water bottle is pretty dope.

What's goodmy nigga?

>>19237769
Hi.

>>19237769
Those aliens are really friendly looking. Not like the ones I keep seeing.

>>19238039
>God created a whole universe of habitable planets but ours is the only good one and humans are the only worthy race anything that appears to come from elsewhere is a demon

I wish Hitler would've gassed Christians instead. Get off this fucking website, normie.

>>19242846
Doesn't matter what we discover, christfags will always bend things to fit their fairy tale book. Also
>there are over 4000 religions all over the world but only mine is valid and true

>>19241436
Only thing that happend is that discustingly vertical icon bar of yours

>>19237769
*unzips dick*
>this is how we say hello

>>19237769
Ayy lmao

>>19237769

With a Xenocaust

File: Screen shot 2011-04-03 at 1.29.52 AM.png (2MB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1600x900px

>>19242444
>>19242163
>>19242147
>space aids
Have fun with that

Awwww, I'd start by pinching those cute lil ayylmao cheeks. Look at those faces in op's pic and tell me you wouldn't do the same.

>>19237769

I would ask why the fuck they didn't have dicks

>let me tell you about the Jews...

>>19237769
smoke weed with the ayys

My name is anon what is mine is yours.

>>19237769
Ayy

File: moses5.png (1MB, 1280x773px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x773px

>>19240295
>talk to them about Jesus Christ and how He saved all of humanity from sin

They would be severely confused by the human conception of God and wonder why and how nearly an entire species started worshiping a false god.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXDL2hQ76tU

File: tumblr_nwamn2k0Ur1s668dyo1_1280.png (363KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

363KB, 1000x1000px

>>19245153
and the first people on mars might die there as well.
All Im saying is that there are some costs of being first that are worth taking.

>where are you from, and can we fuck?

>>19237769
I would ask is GOD real...?

>>19237769
"Red pill me on space."