If I wanted to summon Satan to make a deal, could I just converse

>>19199791
What makes you think Satan would want to cut a deal with you? What do you have to offer?

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>>19199791
satan says get fucking and sucking, slut.

My soul obviously isnt that what he wants

>>19199812
So you have nothing to offer then. There is no deal

>>19199823
Well youre no help.

>>19199844
How do you strike a deal when you have nothing?

>>19199859
What else would he want other than my soul

>>19200008
I doubt Satan would want anything from you, that whole idea that Satan and his demons are into the soul-buying business is a myth. If Satan wanted you to dedicate your life to him, he wouldn't have to cut any deals with you, he would just put the right temptations in your way to get you addicted and that would be it.

>>19200045
Ok I see what you mean now. So if I want say for example to be a master guitarist I cant just sell my soul to obtain it

>>19200073
You would have to practice like everyone else, but Satan who resides in all would place temptations in your way to ruin your hard work. But don't look at those temptations as necessarily bad, you'll just have to work your way through and you'll be stronger for it

>>19200085
what if i want to quit being ugly in ways that might not be financially possible yet
and i cant deal with going outside cus my reflection makes me feel 90

>>19200221
Sorry, but Satan can't help. He will make you feel uglier and put that sort of temptation in front of you. But you can work you way out of that by seeing your own self worth

>>19200236
i already feel uglier and lots of bad things in front of me
although i dont know if ive identified them as temptations
how do i break free from the misery

>>19200236
what if i have no self worth and can retort every good thing that can be said about me or take its meaning and cancel it out
help me, christanon

>>19199791
Save your self some time satan doesn't real or exist

>>19200260
Of course you have self-worth, you're just not able to discern the value you have and you won't be able to until you learn to love yourself and love others. When you learn to love yourself, you'll see it

>>19200275
i've known loving myself is something i've been missing for a long time but i have no idea how to learn how to do that
i hate myself and feel objectively inferior

>>19200335
Pray. Pray to experience God's love for you and you'll learn to love yourself. Just keep praying and praying

>>19200345
i keep messing up
what if im not worthy
idk what to do :(

>>19199823
>>19199812
>>19199859
>>19199791

Why not sell the health of your parents since you can not sell someone else's soul?

>>19200353
You don't need to be worthy, none of us are. That is why it is called grace because none are worthy of it but it is given to us anyway

>>19200361
Hey christsian anon, how do you know if somethings a miracle or not?

>>19200384
You dont, its just a gift

>>19199791
if you were to repent then yes, it isnt an unforgivable sin to deal with satan insofar as I know (at least within the christian faith)

>>19199791
Its only if you sell your soul you get damned

>>19199791
I'd imagine so, Jesus was tempted in the desert and declined and obviously went to heaven. Why would you even discuss a deal with satan? He's the father of lies.

>>19200434
I'd imagine that anything you'd ask for would work like a genie, as in you'd get wealth, but then be imprisoned for life due to getting said wealth or whatever

>>19200460
Doesn't work like that or no one would buy. You get what you're bargained for no strings attached but if you fuck up that's on you.

>>19200434
Actually Moloch is the father of lies.

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>>19200353
Read the parables of the lost coin, the good Shepherd, and the prodigal son. It's never too late and Satan only wants the souls of those who follow God, he doesn't need to buy it from someone who gives it willingly.

>>19200353
just be a good person and do good things, it will all be over soon.

Make your desires explicit and he might appear to you. Don't miss him.

So I'm a christian, but I'm terrified to death of death, and cause of my thanophobia I would give nearly anything to be immortal.

I would murder my family, give away my eyesight, my hearing, everything save for my soul, for "true immortality".

Now heres a question. . . would Satan benefit from taking my soul after giving me immortality? I feel like that'd be the one deal he wouldn't do, aside from me offering my soul to save 2 or more souls.

>>19200922
So even Satan doesn't want me? Great.

>>19200961
God does.

And God has a higher power level and is way more popular than satan.

I mean, even Hitler is more popular than Satan. . . and that is insulting, even to Satan.

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>>19200972
Well Satan just insulted me so I guess that makes us even.

>>19200984
>posting a picture from Rick and Morty
This explains so much about you.

I highly suggest stop watching it.

>>19199791
God is a tentacle monster with lots of mouths and no eyes having a dream and satan is a bunch of smaller monsters playing flutes keeping him asleep so that the dream does not end.

>>19200954
you already have true immortality, your body will die, your faggotry will live on

>>19200992
What's so bad about it?

>>19201013
It contradicts itself, it's storylines are depressing, it's humor is . . . alright at times.

Honestly, as a open minded Christian, I'm surprised so many atheists enjoy this. It paints them in a bad light and feels like it has subliminal messaging telling it's viewers to kill themselves, or at the very least give up on everything.

>>19201013
You really do need to get into the mindset of a Redditor to understand why this show is so popular. These people have never heard of adult animation in their lifes that wasn't stuff like Family Guy, it was completely alien to them. And they can't laugh at these shows because they consider these shows stupid. They want a show that isn't necessarily smart or funny or well-written, but that appears to be to appeal to their surface-level taste. Because these people live for that mindless self-validation. They don't actually understand what makes for good writing or good comedy, nor have they ever picked a book about physics. They want to pretend they do so and circlejerk themselves, that's what matters. Rick and Morty is just perfect for its demographic: these same college-age self-important Bernouts who "fucking love science". The entire foundation of the show is built upon the dichotomy between "silly sci-fi humor and references" and " things are super deep and tragic bro". This pseudo-intellectual "nothing even matters, I'm insecure about existence, we are all going to die" bullshit that R&M shits out in almost every episode is what appeals to it's audience. The show doesn't actually have the tact to even begin to offer an interesting presentation and discussion of any philosophy, so it spouts these edgy teenage catchphrases. Nevermind the bean-headed, noodle-limbed unexpressive character design, or how the story is non-existent and only comes up when the writers beg you to feel something for these characters so devoid of substance, or how the entire show is a trendy forgettable scenario of the week memefest with just enough sci-fi references to trick kids into thinking they are smart for understanding them, or how the characters have somehow been reduced to even more obnoxious caricatures than before, none of these things matter. What matters is that it appeals to the millenial redditor audience, and that's what's selling Rick and Morty.

>>19201022
Everyone I know who watches it only watches this, game of thrones, walking dead, and does a shit ton of weed, and talks about doing a shit ton of weed, a shit ton.