Wasn't sure if this was more appropriate here or on /fit/.

>>18993019

When meditating don´t observe the thoughts you have. Let them flow away and ignore them. But observate why these thoughts come to you and where they come from.

From what you wrote I can tell that you buried some pain deep in you. Bringing some distance because you and the source of your problems might not solve it, but it will clear your mind until one day you can forgive them and yourself.

>>18993028
*between

>>18993028
I have been trying. Its hard to ignore them though. Even when I do ignore them, I am still reminded of them in my dreams. Its like I am trying to let go but my subconscious won't let me. I try my best to just observe the present but my mind keeps going back to thoughts that make me angry.

Its like the more I meditate, the angrier I get. I almost feel like I am going crazy

>>18993019

It's not "normal", no. It's your ego struggling to maintain your role as a victim when you (or at least a part of you) knows you're being childish and shitty. You're dwelling on the "wrongs" you've suffered because of ego and fear, so you don't have to change your perspective, so you can hold a grudge and be shitty without feeling bad because "people did bad things to you". You need to let go and move on. Get some zen in your life and learn to control yourself instead of being controlled by yourself; Go read The Fourth Way.

>>18993035

Sounds like it would be wise for you to contact a therapist. Not like you need medication or something but someone to talk to about your problems that you can trust.

Also freezing your contact to those peoble might be a viable solution. Just make it a way that is reverseble or you might regret it in the future.

>>18993019
Meditation doesn't make you thoughts good in some kind of magical way.
What you are doing or what you are supposed to do is to sit there and let your thoughts be only your thoughts.
Some people doing bad things have gotten help from meditation because when they just sit there they... well they don't do bad shit. They get out of the habbit of doing bad shit by just sitting there. This has somehow been transelated into a meme where everything is good when you meditate.

>>18993045
Solutions please. I started meditating to try to let go. But its not helping. I'll look into the book.

>>18993047
Don't have much money for a therapist. Nor much time really. Between job and studies, its hard to even have time to cook anything.

>>18993049
I try. I just try to observe them but when they are there every time I do this and for a good chunk of my session, I start to get bothered and just want to not observe them anymore and try to get back to my breath.

Anyway, I gotta get back to studies before work. Ill be back later today, hopefully this thread is still up with more suggestions.

>>18993062
Right when you start getting those thoughts that make you angry, focus your attention on your breathing. Feel how it enters your nose. There is no rush so take your time. I found that the deeper and slower i breathe, the more focus shifts away from the ego.

>>18993019
It's ok anon, this is natural. It's not that you aren't calming down or getting balanced or focused. These feelings are finally able to come to surface to be dealt with now that you have cleared away the dust, so to speak. Ask yourself why you feel these emotions. You must find within yourself how to handle these feelings and do what you know is right.
My thoughts from what you said is that maybe you do need to cut some ties in your life that are holding you down. but like I said, that's up to you to decide.

>>18993019
OP these guys will over complicate things. You just need closure with yourself. Walk thru the situations and contemplate things such as why you get mad. Why did they wrong you? Can you let it go? If not, why? Enlightenment comes to the curious.