Hello /x/. In the summer of 2015 i experienced a strong dissociation

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Bump with some additional information.
The whole experience was very much on a mental level and it felt like my dreams my reality and my imagination had merged and become as one.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by8cAQh_i2M

>>18992795

Ever tried mushrooms? Ego death is a very common experience on them.

could totally relate anon. the only thing i currently want in my life is to create. i built a studio and im busy making music. i have no idea where it came from, i never figured i would be a guy like that. do you feel such a strong drive as well? some say it is 4d but i dont know maybe were just gettin older. my advice is learning how to meditate and finding a craft to express yourself in. (this could be whatever)

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>>18992820
Yes. I've tried many substances, in fact that experience was substance related too.
It was more than just ego death though, some sort of divine impulse and a flood of conciousness sweeping away what i had previously been.
>>18992824
back then, very much so, it was more on a mental level though not as much expressed in the physical. Right now my light seems... rather dimmed.

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>>18992854

Ok, then I had the exact same experience. I think what happened was that we opened our 3rd eye. Soon after this feeling I met the godess which healed my wounds and made me whole again. I too seek for a method to recreate that experience since then, but I found none. LSD takes me back into the mindset and restores my creativity (pic related I did it on acid), but it´s not the real deal. I think I might do shrooms again, but this time prepared and in a proper ritual.

>>18992824

Also I too began being creative again since then. I shit music and art now, unseen before in my life.

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>>18992795
Why do you new age fucks always end your post with "namaste?" I mean holy shit, it's like "Hello, here's my huge faggot flag."

Anyways you were most likely having a manic episode or some other type of psychiatric event, or perhaps you're just plain stupid. I mean with shit like this, it's ultimately about feelz, you feel connected to some fictional character in your mind, that fictional character being your "universal intelligence." Extreme waifu fags feel love for fictional characters just as intensely as for any human being, and young teenage girls fall in love with celebrities they've never even met - they may as well be fictional characters to such girls, just stories. People can and do fall in love with ideas as well. So you're joining this dopamine-addled euphoric enlightenment fest of deluding yourself into thinking you are experiencing something profound, which makes it feel profound, which makes it a profound experience, and soon you are huffing your own fart gasses and getting high off your own supply.

There is practically no limit to how much you can bend your perception of reality. This can easily warp into the mistake that you are warping reality or have some grand insight into cosmic truth because you figured out how to feel really good about ideas.

Mind crack is real. Stop dosing yourself.

>>18992882
well try DMT

>>18992795
Meditation start by focusing on your though partern shot them down slowly then put your 2 hand beside each other and calm your emotion by putting them on your heart. After focus on feeling the energy around yourself. Do this everyday and you will see that it is easier to control your ego.

>>18992891

Truly spoken like someone who never experienced enlightment. During these events you don´t see or feel something that is not really there - but your brain shows you all the unconcious unfiltered input from reality and for the first time in your life you can consciously decide what to make out of it.

Before this experience you´re like: Yeah, I know that tree. It takes water and nutrients from the soil and does photosynthesis.

During that event you look at the tree, see it´s prana, and UNDERSTAND how it is connected to all other things. You begin to see yourself, others, the earth, the universe as one. Because you are one. Conciousness is but a symptom of the big bang. You are the big bang.

That got nothing to do with psychiatric illness, it´s the ultimate knowledge about everything. Also it doesn´t really affect your life. You just feel better because for the first time you saw, heared, tasted and felt truth. I know my words won´t change your mind, because you afraid and probably jealous. I understand that, I was once like you. But let me tell you there is knowledge to be found INSIDE the existence that you see every day. You just have to find it.

>>18992955
This sounds like my first psychotic break happened. I had a thousand thoughts a minute. I could look at car engines and despite no knowledge I could see how it was put together, what it did and how it did it. I could look at an older person and could just tell what they looked like when they were younger. I watched electricity move through the walls. To everyone else I just rambled for three days. I found out engines have nothing to do with what I saw and that electricity moves far to fast for what i saw. Just because you perceive infinity does not mean you're seeing infinity. With things like this (including drug trips) your creativity is what you see. Just because you perceive something in your mind does not make it reality despite how positive about it you are.

>>18993676
No you just suffered from mental illness.

OP probably suffered from being drugged and date raped by a CIA experiment.

I hope you've learned your lesson on casting pearls before ignorant ungrateful swine, and don't show your hand because people will just use that info to hurt you

This thread is beautiful, it smells like home.

>>18992891
You're so sad.

>>18993692
Sto describing your shitty and empty life.

>>18992955
To me, someone who has experienced ego death, you're just a cunt. Ego Death simply eliminates all of your social and societal inhibitions. Yea, it is more "raw" input, but you merely realize that nothing ever matters or ever will. Everything, no matter how complex, beautiful, durable or powerful, will be nothing at the end of the universal expansion and inevitable heat death.

>>18993710
Wow, no need to be an ass. He was just letting me know that my experience was normal. I mean, OPs might not have been that exact situation, but he did admit it was drug fueled so, maybe?

>>18993721
>4chan
>gets offended at insult
this is the wrong imageboard to take seriously

>>18993718
Oh, wow. That describes autism near perfectly. It all makes sense now. I'm not even baiting, this is literally like the definition of autism, not the way you kids use it as a synonym of retarded

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>>18993730
>>18993710
>>18993721

>Trusting mega corp "science"
>Trusting new age "religion"

Not just doing as Jesus did and separating yourself from reality(civilization) for 40 days and refusing the world/meditating in a cave to find the truth.

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>>18993731
If your just gonna resort to ad hominem then that means you've got no logical legs to support your statement. Maybe you have trouble communicating?

>>18993747
you're*, goddamn phone

>>18993692
tfw when no CIA gf

>>18993748
>Being a spelling cuck
>ever

>>18993752
I hear there is a FBI Fallback boy now single. Maybe make him a qt Trap to get closer to the CIA waifus?

>>18993730
>everyone is a dick so it's totally acceptable to be a Dick
This is literally the thought process of a child. Just because you're anonymous does not give the right to be rude, racist, or rancid. While you're right that you're not the only one doesn't mean you're absolved from the dickishness.

>>18993747
No shit Sherlock. I'm autistic, I work with autistic kids, I prepare the children with this ailment to prepare them for the future and help them cope with a mental disorder that will be with them their entire life.

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>>18993768
Fairly accurate except for the racist part. Racism makes some of the best creamy banter possible

>Fuck niggers

>>18993768
no, its more like "everyone doesn't take this seriously and you're making a big deal over an insult that somebody didn't even put 5 seconds into because it hurt your feewings" :(

>>18993768
ok, so how does general existential awareness and dread translate to autism, in-house expert?

Hey op, don't mind the annoying cunts. /x/ is here for you. Disciplined meditation is a great key to unlocking what you hope for. However, how are you treating your body? Being sedentary and eating like shit is a huge impairment on such journey.

>>18993815
>This

Look up Qi-Gong the Chinese believe in the spirit as a physical form. A mix between Energy and Blood. Us Westerners because of our physical health and our spiritual decay, are very poor off for this Journey.

>>18993718

Nope. That´s no ego death, sorry.

>>18993803
Well, it is a common part of autism to have a serious obsession of one kind or another. The DSM uses the very cliche example of trains. Now, imagine the knowledge that you gained throuth out your life of the cosmos and physics and all that. Now, imagine that your memory of this is no longer hidden under your others. All that knowledge becomes the only thing on the top of your mind. With the aide of hallucinogenics or psychosis and a creative mind you can put together all that knowledge and perceive it as a whole. Plus with the statement of ego death adds to social distance it all sounds quite a bit like autism.

>>18993871
No, you are just loosely aligning very different things. All though most of this new age hippie crap does sound off the walls autistic. A metric fuck ton of it is based on thousands of years of meditative works, technological advances. It also has the backing of the CIA.

To finally reach the rabbit hole, you have to find your way out of the lost woods. Trust me friend, today will be the first day of your VERY long Journey.

>>18993786
Play a lot of professional Overwatch with that "banter" of yours?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p9-UPPLvlas

>>18993795
I'm not even the person you may have hurt the feelings of. I'm just the guy trying to fix the world one post at a time.

>>18993895
While I'm pretty sure the MKUltra debacle was a real thing there is no evidence any of it worked. That said, I'd love to actually achieve this through meditation and drugs, it sounds quite profound and fun. Maybe one day I'll be able to

>>18993916
No, I don't play shitty games online.
I don't like associating with autists.

>>18993930
Well, no evidence of it working. Except the same CIA documents in which evidence of these programs exist. Admitting the controlled tests were successful. They aren't sure WHY it worked. It could be incredibly dangerous. But it did produce results.

>>18993718
Ego death is samadhi. I would be shocked if you have touched dhyana

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>>18993815
>>18993850
Thank you. ive neglected my body quite a bit

>>18993938
>taking that statement seriously

>>18992955
Right and you cannot convey any of this "understanding" in such a way that it is useful for anything at all, because it isn't "understanding," it's feelz. Your enlightenment hasn't given you the ability to respond to me in a spectacular fashion, but rather like that of a deluded dullard.

>During that event you look at the tree, see it´s prana, and UNDERSTAND how it is connected to all other things. You begin to see yourself, others, the earth, the universe as one. Because you are one. Conciousness is but a symptom of the big bang. You are the big bang.

Duh? This is only profound to someone who was inflicted by substance dualism. What's the point? This is like mentally masturbating over the axiom of identity. It's also so abstract as to be useless; I could go around gurgling about THE ALL IS THE ALL and other such banalities but it isn't useful for anything.

So what is your wisdom and understanding that isn't self-evident bollox?

>>18992803
This says everything. Mystical experiences are merely your imagination and perception intermeshing more than they usually do. Here's an example: imagine as vividly you can yourself biting into a lemon. Try to imagine how sour it tastes. Your mouth should water as if anticipating lemon-eating. Imagining yourself in front of a campfire when you are cold to feel slightly warmer is another technique, but there is practically no limit to how much you can bend your perception. What you did was enter a state where your perception and imagination were very blurred, and you interpreted this as spiritual, and so your imagination and perception made you experience it as spiritual. You weren't connected to a universal intelligence, you were connected to your own, mistaking your own reflection in the mirror for someone else.

>>18994618

Whats your point in calling my experience useless? For me at that time it wasn't. It was just the right thing for me and I share my memorys with you and others because I want to find people who experienced the same, and so did I. So it wasnt useless. Also for you I have the advice to stop viewing live as a journey. You have no destination. Everything is "useless" as you said. Your whole life is an experience and it's pointless to think everything has to have a use. Just stop for a moment and admire the view. Do you never do that?

>>18992891
I quit drugs forever if u take 10g dried golden teachers in one take

>>18994669

Do things exist because we perceive them or do we perceive them because they exist? Reallity is made through observation. There is no difference in bending perception or bending reality. The result is the same. It's all in our minds.

>>18994669
yeah, nah. nice try though