If I put a statue of a fairy in my garden, will I piss the

Tell me it is not made of iron

>>18954585
You're in luck bro, you can't piss off something that doesn't exist.

>>18954592
I was looking at stone.

>>18954585
no. i used to have eight to ten gnome statues in my garden and no fairies were angered.

>>18954597
>you can't piss off something that doesn't exist.
And yet someone angered your brain.

Well, you're not hacking down one of their sacred trees or fucking with their boulders or forts, so... probably not.

Do you live in America? I'm an American and there don't seem to be many fairies here. Maybe there just won't be enough of them to be bothered by your statue.

>>18954609
>>18954597
I just love this board's autism. This is the only place you can say that fairies don't exist and somehow you are the idiot.

>>18954598
should be fine.

>>18954612
I do, and good point.

>>18954619
I am pretty certain that they do exist, anon.

>>18954626
Although supposedly the Native Americans have legends of beings that are a lot like fairies, or some tribes do.

I thought fairies stay out of neighborhoods?

>>18954650
I'm a native american, but I'm not an american indian. Think about it.

>>18954707
Don't quibble, Anon.

>>18954609
ZING!

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>>18954609

>>18954585
Yeah probably not.

>>18954585
how do i get a little semen fairy gf?

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I have one of these in my garden and it sure pisses the niggers off so if fairies are anything like niggers, then probably.

>>18954619
don't touch the poop, anon.

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>>18954619
>This is the only place you can say that fairies don't exist and somehow you are the idiot.

>>18956580
good point

>>18954585
A statue like this might work to piss them off it that's your goal

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>>18956654
* Like this

>>18954585

Maybe if you cut down and ancient forest to make room for your house, then you smash all their ancient boulders and make little fairie statues out of them.

Then you piss on the statues and put funny clothes on them.

>>18956654
Why, because it sexualizes them and makes them look docile? Should I be looking for accurate fairies?

>>18957013
>because it sexualizes them
implying the faeries would mind that
>and makes them look docile
that's more like it.

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>>18957207
A-at least I can still sexualize them.

is there anything you can do the make fairies happy? Other than never going to forests/woods I mean. Like if I happen to move to a house in the woods, is there anything I can put in my yard that they'll appreciate and not want to kill me over? Maybe a selection of wildflowers or arrangement of gem stones or something

>>18957374
>>18956660
Mines still better...

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>>18957420
I can't fap to that, anon.

>>18957013
By the way I meant to post a picture of what's supposed to be an accurate fairy... it had a feminine face still but with hard features, black eyes, and it was wearing like an acorn cap as a hat. But I can't find it anymore. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

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>>18954625
That gives me an idea. Not the anon, but since you're so concerned about iron I'm now thinking about having one made.

What's the worst a fairy can do to me other than not exist?

>>18954707

Well no shit, why would people from India living in America be considered natives? Or people from Europe for that matter? And you know what, so-called "native" Americans are all just ancient settlers from Asia. There is no American native among humanity. Nor the animal kingdom if you think about it, since everything evolved from one form of aquatic microbe or another.

Go back to the ocean you fucking wetback land dwellers.

>>18957471
Probably hire a hitman

>>18954619
You're not an idiot for not believing in fairies. You're an idiot for coming to a thread specifically about fairies, on a paranormal board no less, to express that lack of belief. I don't even believe in fairies either, but you're like the buzz kill who can't suspend his disbelief for two seconds and talks all through a horror movie about how unrealistic it is for a guy to come back from the dead and start killing people.

yes I will smash it

t. a real fairy

>>18959969
>suspend your disbelief
But fairies are real.
It is okay to be a skeptic on a paranormal board, though. This isn't reddit.

>>18959975
>I will smash it
:(

>>18959975
>yes I will smash it
"Smash" as in, enthusiastically make love to, right?

>>18960747
well if you really want me too!

>>18960747
And bang.

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>>18954585
Only if they catch you having sex with it.
>>18954592
Also this.

>>18960841
is that you froggy?

>>18959969
>waaah I want to roleplay don't disturb my fantasy world
Now they're even admitting it. It's just a fucking unfunny joke at this point.

>>18957385
Just think about a happy fairy.
Since they only exist inside your head anyways, you just made a happy fairy.

>>18954585
It's a stone Luigi

>>18954619
You're the guy on /x/ - paranormal trying to debate people who just wanna be spooped

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>>18954619