Hi guys. I never really looked at this board for more than five

>>18938366
interested. bump but you maybe have basic disaccotiation idek

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If I could just expand a little, I do not think that every time a computer is being slow that it is fucking with me, only sometimes.

That is not really what I wanted to expand on though. I know there are certain scientists who have an overly autistic view of schizophrenia and say that there is no connection between schizophrenia and creativity, which is clearly retarded because every music composer works at night, writers drink alcohol to "loosen up the keys and get into the dream state" or write first thing when they wake up, proust and aphex twin advocate sleep deprivation, etc. On the other hand when I hear people say "I am a shaman" or that they cast spells, I generally think they are retarded.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I believe that there are some things that paranormal-type people understand better than regular people. I guess I don't know what my point is. My entire life I just assumed that I was much smarter than everyone else but in recent years I've become less delusional and realized that I'm not quite the genius I thought I was. And I do find it hard to concentrate on things and talk very fast. I talk pretty slowly and if I smoke weed or something, my memory span becomes three seconds long. It is noticeably different from my friends. I cannot string sentences together much at all when I am high.

So in a way right now everything feels like a total mindfuck because I am remembering how I felt when I was 8 and recognizing it and I don't have this inaccurate narrative about myself any more. I guess what I want to know is, can any of you relate? I know some scientists are retarded, but I also do fear becoming stupider and less functional as I get older. I don't care about believing in crazy shit, maybe because I've never experienced psychosis so I can't relate to how bad that is. I just find that I need a lot of time to calm down from stuff and I tend to get overstimulated. And was wondering if any of you feel like this and how to deal with it.

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You're probably more normal than what they want you to believe. You might be a bit paranoid and depressed. I know when I'm really depressed I feel like the world is out to get me. I have symptoms of OCD, ADD, Schizophrenia but it's all due to depression. To fall into the pit of thinking you can't change it though.

>>18938383
Thinking you're center of the universe and then realizing you're not special is just part of growing up. You're having an existential crisis, you're not ill, you need someone to talk to.

hi my friend. its me again.

>>18938383

you said overstimulated and it clocked with me. im curious if you know about hypersensitive people

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ironshrink/201411/the-difference-between-highly-sensitive-and-hypersensitive

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201609/9-traits-highly-sensitive-people

>>18938481
pseudoscience stuff, stop putting labels on personality traits

>>18938511
>these peer reviewed studies on stimulus overload are pseudoscience because I have a special snowflake personality

That's cute.

>>18938514
People make it sounds like it's a disease or something you can't change. Just by exercising and going out daily you can get rid of most of these ''symptoms''. In my time it was called being socially awkward. I've been told only recently that I was an hypersensitive person and I've seen therapists for years. This is a trend. A new medical buzzword.

in my opinion this is all valid thoughtery, i don't feel human as much as i do feel human. I was born one month premature and have been told that is breeding grounds for differences from others, which can be called many things (autism comes up often) but i think the defining characteristics of that part of myself are shown in the ways i react to stimuli. Before i get too self absorbed i will stop that talk though, because its my belief that every human has every disorder a human can have, just different balances, all in different places on each spectrum that there is, and then the rest is brought to definition through our responses to stimuli (which is all live is if ya think about it, just stimulation and your response). Sensitivity is a spectrum all its own,and could do with some exploration but i think the best way to understand is to observe others with strong sensitivity and those with weaker inclinations, we're all only as different as our inclinations....or at least this is what i tell myself so that i don't completely unravel as i always (as anyone always is) am. I can be so sensitive as to spend vast amounts of time absorbed in self destruction, but i try to send myself other more outwardly directions. Anyhow, what I'm poking at at the end of the day is that our dispositions are toolboxes we are gifted with at birth, handier than a hand of cards but much the same. IF you feel crazy, use it, if you don't, use it the same. We're little more than animals with far too much anxiety inside of a highly specialized and completely free intellect, we just see and percieve in ways that confound and scare us, but mans will is free to explore beyond these perceived boundaries. whats your guys thoughts?

>>18938366

OP, this is a truly, truly dreadful place to seek advice on mental health. And I'm speaking as someone with very little faith left in the mental health industry.

I was even tempted to give you some advice myself, then remembered that you probably don't share my exact life experience and thus are probably not merely a younger version of myself. That's what most of the other people here are doing to you; treating you as their own failed youths.

So my (hopefully somewhat objective) advice is to stop pathologizing your own behaviour so quickly. 'Normal' people are completely fucked in the head as it is. Some of us are more predisposed to acknowledge our own shortcomings than others, and perhaps you belong to this ilk.

Second bit of advice is to effectively internalize the idea that you are in no way special. This isn't meant as an insult; everyone is composed of the same types of matter as everyone else. But our minds can only relate everything back to ourselves. This, I think, is where you really need to challenge yourself with logic. You could, perhaps, start by considering the vast difference required by probabilistic reasoning that the 'objective' reality exists as you see it opposed to the idea that it does not. Simply, do you really believe that other people aren't really there?

As a post-script, as it were, I have had a psychotic episode. Awful thing to experience.

Not sure about all the symptoms you have Op, do schizotypal people often think they are better than other people? A lot of these symptoms also match up with Borderline Personality Disorder, sometimes know as Emotional Disregulation Disorder. Could be worth looking into.

Regarding the Schizotypal, I think it's a great thing. When I was diagnosed with it I just took it in stride as I'd always known I was a bit different (nobody gives a shit about spirituality or religion here in Australia yet I love it). On a basic level it means you see things differently to others. So while other people might be really into sports, cars and reality tv we get to be excited by all manner of abstract sort of topics. Schizotypal people are definitely very creative. I go to a folk festival every year and I'm pretty sure most people that go there are schizotypal, it's amazing all the art that they make.

>>18938514

you must be very dense to believe we are all the same. yes we are all human, but we are all unique. sorry mommy and daddy werent there for you. must of been tough, but you're a big boy/girl now. go challenge yourself to new opportunities and pleasures in life. learn to love so that you can one day love yourself.