I' made the mistake of coming into an existensial crysis

It is impossible to waver, this is the choice of the magician. To either know you are above god or lesser to. To fall under control of something or to have control over yourself. This is the ultimate choice, and possible the meaning of life. To see whom believes in whom. It seems that the chgoice is theirs to those who seek it, those who ask the questions are destined to go mad, while those who accept religion are them who seek the easy. To believe in a faith of asking and living in ignorance, while the contrast choice is one of knowing you make you choices. This is 'The Path'
Everything is universally symbolic to this one question. This is why is it spoken in aligory as those who know it go mad. Because knowing there is a god and knowing you are more causes ytour brain a giant conflict, I am shaking now and might pass out.
This is what causes people to go mad, to be stuck on the question. Stay to long and you fall into the abyss it'll eat you up, it's a meatafor efor crazyness, this is why you must be strong, to cultivate great inner strength is to know you have the choice of either without going mad. To put off the question is to cause depression, however. After the knowlesge of the question it takes immense will power to waiver in the middle, this is why meditation is key to continue. This is the alligory of which all religion speak through means of monotheurgy to beliving in a beyong it, something greater, this is the question. In the christian sense it's asking of god's faith, the faith in a god is to believe that he's got your back". He created you and everything and the bible is law. The Christian's Satan i s saying that knowledge is the key to loolking beyond God, because ignorance allows you to keep your mind blind to the fact. I associate this with the book 1984

These are the questions that cause people to go mad. That's whyt they are spoken in allegory as to not cause panic or madnbess. This is why those w

The tao is choising beyond it, it says to meditate to ignore the pleys of the right hgand god, it says to belive in more through silensce, that's why monk train to be silent, for once the knoiwledge of the question is established, if you can ignore the question itself through silence you will not go mad.

It is also a key of focus, to focus on something

This is the allegory of focusing on a part of yourself while given instructions not to
You now focus on it because it's the question at your mind, but it tells you not to think about it, even though it is still there. This is what all religions are speaking of, through allegory. It's either the right hand path, God exists, is concrete, that there is a God, or beliveing in the left hand path, beyond god, or completeing ignoring god
Alechmy is looking beyond, this is why they go mad, because they delve deep into the question, this is the abyss they speak of, to linger in it is to cause madness, when you stare at it it stares at you. The question is the madness/abyss
Taoism is ignoring the question entirely, it is also ignorance, hence ignorance of the question is bliss
Chistianity is answering the question with a yes.
While everything else, in the eyes of christianity, is looking at christianity and saying no to the question.

All religion is is asking the question of existence in only three different possible ways due to logic, either a "Yes", "No", Or ignoreing it completely
"Yes": Right Hand Path/Christianity/Islam/Jewish
"No": Satanism, Paganism, Alechmy*,
"Ignoring": Taosim
"Magickal": Alechmy*, Witchcraft, wicca, anything with magick

*I briefely studied alchemy

These are only some of the religions I've looked at
This is the path, to study religions, to ask the questions, to find YOUR answer, instead of blind acceptance of being raised up into beliefs
However, right hand occultism exists, it is the belif of magick
Magick is the belief of a God, and that can be controlled
Magicj is to believe in forces beyond materialism are in control. it is saying both yes to the right hand path, but saying he is not the most highest. It is saying you are equal to him or better because you can control the forces of which he set. It is only accepting half of christianity. It

Just go mad, destroy all your preconceived notions about basically everything, then rebuild. Think of your existence as a lego house and you just have been putting pieces around haphazardly. Break that shit down and start rebuilding, reassess what is truly important. You cannot really destroy the foundation upon which you rebuild.

If one thinks of oneself as free, one is free, and if one thinks of oneself as bound, one is bound. Here this saying is true, “Thinking makes it so.” 1.11

Your real nature is as the one perfect, free, and actionless consciousness, the all-pervading witness — unattached to anything, desireless and at peace. It is from illusion that you seem to be involved in samsara. 1.12

Meditate on yourself as motionless awareness, free from any dualism, giving up the mistaken idea that you are just a derivative consciousness or anything external or internal. 1.13

You have long been trapped in the snare of identification with the body. Sever it with the knife of knowledge that “I am awareness,” and be happy, my son. 1.14

You are really unbound and actionless, self-illuminating and spotless already. The cause of your bondage is that you are still resorting to stilling the mind. 1.15

All of this is really filled by you and strung out in you, for what you consist of is pure awareness — so don’t be small-minded. 1.16