So I'm convinced I might possibly be part Eldrich monster

>>18806123
Honestly, if you were one im sure you would have spelled Eldritch correctly. Don't let that get you down though, go outside, enjoy life

>>18806131
It's a typo. Don't mind it.

>>18806123
what makes you say you're an eldritch monster?

This happens more often than you might think. I'm actually part of a team who tracks down half-breeds before they fully transform and well.... Thanks for making it easy to find you!

>>18806226
I'm sure the SCP would welcome me with open arms.

>>18806205
Well thus far it's speculation. I just have three pieces of evidence with various strengths but they might just be bullshit and I'm having some stupid creative spree of bullshit to try and justify a life mystery of mine but only procuring cringy results that will forever be ridiculed.

But this is an anonymous imageboard so I'll post them anyways. I'd be amazed if anyone can actually track who I am from what's provided.

Evidence:
>Fictional despictions of "eldritch abominations" or "ethreal beings" seem and feel understandable and very familiar in nature almost entirely with no trace of fear of such beings. Almost as if such beings were my actual kin. A fascination with "creepy" might also add to this but I would think that's entirely unrelated. I could also note the possibility (that I may be fucking dumb but also) that fascination and familiarity with such creatures is part of the appeal.

>The suspicion that everyone around me growing up has been trying to hide something from me with political correctness. Every attempt to uncover a "bigger picture" being disbanded or shut down. I feel estranged from my family. Kinda like those films where people set up a fake life to prevent someone from finding out their "real life" (but that might just be irrelevant and I might just be watching too many of those movies. Fuck).

>An unexplained "anomaly" manifesting as (something like) a certain conscious (I've never been properly able to describe it). Foreignness. Like your body was more of a puppet for your mind instead of the two being the same, and everyone was nothing but characters in a video game. I remember when I was a child I would describe it as "God is looking at the world through my eyes." I can remember it being present even in my first memory as a baby in a stroller.

>>18806264
Youre schizophrenic or another mental illness

>>18806275
It sounds more like schizotypal disorder, schizophrenia is usually more extreme

>>18806275
Every actual doctor I've met continues to say otherwise.

>>18806264
>Evidence
Dude... you're just less stupid than most.
Even though assuming to be a lovecraftian horror is kinda stupid if I think about it....

>>18806298
Also don't listen to schizofags, fucking pop ed

>>18806264
>>18806123
I believe you OP, I too have my suspicions that I am inhuman but I can't prove anything. I feel like I am some sort of invisible entity but once again no proof.

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>>18806123
Hey anon, I have always felt similarly.
I just keep to myself about it, though.
You'll only ever know the truth once(if?) you finally perish, so we can't really confirm

>>18806306
so all the women ignoring you isn't proof for your invisibility?

>>18806343
I don't a relationship with anyone anon, also I'm gay so I wouldn't want to be with a woman anyway

Look into meditation and, if you can, find a soundproof room to sit in for a few hours.

When i think of what i would look like without a body, i imagine myself as a mixture of mist and viscous black liquid with tentacle like strands dripping off. I dont thing thats abnormal though, most of us think wierdly of our souls.

>>18806281
Did you tell them you think you're part monster?

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Are you the fool garbed in yellow or the pipers that play to him?

>>18806353
so all the faggots ignoring you isn't proof for your invisibility?

>>18806367
Like I said I genuinely enjoy being alone and I hate having to be around other people IRL.

>>18806400
oh shit come on, don't you want to get at least a little bit upset? I'm trying really hard here.

>>18806409
not really I don't have anything to prove to the denizens of /x/

but to make you feel better: this hurt my feelings

>>18806419
I came

>>18806359
OP Here.

I told them about the anomaly I mentioned in the "evidence" post. One or two expressed interest and never followed it. Another just shrugged it off and said I was autistic. It's a funny thing. I never figure anything else was worth mentioning because it's too cartoonish and unrealistic to consider.

>OP you've just claimed to be lovecraftian and you're saying it's "too unrealistic" to talk about with therapists?
I'm aware it's outlandish. Honestly it's not even the first theory I've ever came up with about the "anomaly" but honestly it stands a bit better than whatever else I could think up.

>>18806354
I might look into it. I never thought I'd have enough time for meditation nor is there really any area nearby that's "soundproof." I don't want to go outside to find one, either... though I might have to. I mean I kinda figured meditation might reveal something.

>>18806360
Very likely not.

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>>18806123
Hey OP, can you describe for us what goes on in your head that makes you think that you are a monster?
I'm not being facetious either; I really want to know.

>>18806427
Dude, stfu. You're just a slightly autistic faggot like everyone else here. No you are not special, you're the same piece of human trash that everyone else is. You feel different? How do you know you're the only one feeling that way? There is something inside you that you can literally feel? Well pull your fathers cock out of your ass you faggot.

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>>18806450

>>18806471
kek

>>18806353
kill yourself you fucking faggot, noone will miss you,fucking piece of shit

>>18806488
low effort troll is low effort

>>18806494
still, kill yourself noone will give a fuck about you

>>18806439
Stuff I've already mentioned in the above post. Also along the lines that it's a sorta isolate feeling, as if there just wasn't a word for it at all because no one knows what it is. I wouldn't really say "monster," but just something from a bigger picture that was cut up with only the most vague instinct to guide itself. I've found no pointers from medical dictionaries or fictional material as to what I am or what the anomaly is. Nobody else I've ever met or heard of in my entire life has really had similar. Every "pointer" that I think is a pointer always turns out to be something else entirely. And in every occasion it's never been easy to really describe.

I also end up wondering: "Why me?" Presuming that there are indeed other people with the same anomaly, why am I the one that feels the most... lucid? Like I'm the most important thing that ever existed since the dawn of time (though it would be extremely narcissistic to actually believe that). I've inferred on this logic a theory that I might be an endling, the last of my kind or something. Though it's just a theory out of dozens.

To be fair, I honestly just say "I'm an eldritch" because they feel a little more familiar to me despite being fictionalized. It's kind of an unnatural fascination, I guess. Not that I'd sacrifice a teenage girl for Slenderman or Cthulhu but I'd drink beers and play pool with them, you know? If you could remove point 1 from the list of evidence you could pretty much eradicate the "OP is eldritch" thing entirely but still have a reason for investigation (subjectively). I know I do (but for obviously personal reasons).

>>18806450
>>18806488
>>18806516
Protip: Stop trying so hard. You'd be more effective by saying "the jews did 9/11" upon entering an anime roleplaying room on chatzy.

I'm going to bump.

>>18806264
>An unexplained "anomaly" manifesting as (something like) a certain conscious (I've never been properly able to describe it). Foreignness. Like your body was more of a puppet for your mind instead of the two being the same, and everyone was nothing but characters in a video game. I remember when I was a child I would describe it as "God is looking at the world through my eyes." I can remember it being present even in my first memory as a baby in a stroller.

You're simply experiencing the "Soul" or "spirit" as an entity distinct from your physical form, which it is.
Most, contrary to popular belief, seem to not have this aspect. Which explains the alienation; Generally people do not understand this, or seemingly act to remove any thought of it existing as it does.

A way to describe it would be "the thing that sees through your eyes, hears your thoughts and feels what you feel but is separate from your body and that you identify as you."

>>18806140
see
>>18806131

>>18806574
> as to what I am

You are delusional is all

>>18806942
OP this anon is correct. Probably compounded by high intelligence and having been a bit psychologically mutilated making you feel even more alien to standard humans. Or maybe I'm just projecting lol. At one point in my youth I sincerely questioned my humanity and wondered if I wasn't an alien somehow enslaved within a human shell. Thankfully there was no socio-political movement to encourage the "legitimacy" of species dysphoria at the time. So I eventually came to terms with the reality that I was in fact a member of a particularly corrupt species. A sad but healthy realization.

>>18808125
Damn humans, imperfect bastards.

>>18808130
There's no self righteousness in being disgusted and offended by the abuses of humanity.