>parents keep telling me to "quit doing weird shit"

>>18779857
Try a bloodletting ritual.

>wait for them to be asleep
>go to kitchen, get knife and salt
>sneak into their bedroom
>make sure you're facing north when you do this
>sprinkle salt over them as they sleep
>while you sprinkle the salt focus on their forms and try to imagine the blood pumping through them
>hold the knife high above your head
>stab the shit out of them

If you do it right, they should start to die of bloodletting within a few minutes. Just make sure they haven't warded their bedroom with a seal of safety scissors or anything like that.

>>18779873
im going for something a bit more discrete

>>18779857
>how do i put a death curse on them /x/?
I wouldn't recommend that, not unless you want to piss of a God older than time

cursing someone is as simple as imagining them being harmed

>>18780009
why would some god older than time give a shit about some glorified monkeys on a small rock in infinite space

>>18779857
>force me to get a job
>kill parents
>still have to get a job?

>>18780219
If you consider life in prison a job then sure he would still have to get a job.

>>18780264
>curse on them
this is all bullshit anyway so yes he would still have to get a job

>>18779894

There's a variation of this curse that will keep them in the dark as to what's happened. But you need to be able to get to a high ledge above a body of water. High enough that the fall would most likely kill someone if they fell from it.

>Bring the salt and knife with you, and also something that belongs to your parents, could literally be anything as long as they've had contact with it.
>Stand over the ledge and drop the object/s into the water, sprinkle the salt after slowly for around a minute.
>Then drop the knife into the water, you need to make sure the blade hits the surface, it doesn't need to be perfect but the blade must pierce the water.
>Imagine the water as their blood, pumping through their veins
>Imagine that their heart rates are slowing down, not to the point where it would kill them but to where a person would be considered fully relaxed.
>Throw yourself off the ledge you faggot

Take shower
Get job

Parents die of shock