How do I conquer myself in such a way that the drive to improve

>>18769111
continious effort and devotion i guess.

>>18769111

>thinking this much
>self-identifying while trying to conquer your identity and natural desire to impose it

>>18769111
maybe give the tao te ching a read.

>>18769116
I get overthinking is a problem, and I can snap into a totally mindful state whenever I want to, but sooner or later I gotta act, make decisions and evaluations about the shit around me and I can't separate these feelings from the very complexes and patterns of being I'm trying to beat. Like I can't just be a ghost in my own life but I can't be all in it like I used to either. What gives? Do I just meditate and meditate until I achieve something I can't even imagine?

>>18769125
I've read works of practically all of the major spiritual and philosophical traditions, I can talk about this shit all day , now I'm realizing as valuable as that knowledge was the sheer volume of it is becoming a hindrance

>>18769143
then maybe just stop. there are points in all activities where a break is productive. if you're concerned that your actions toward self improvement have some ulterior motive.... stop trying for awhile.

>>18769154
I'm starting to realize the mind is just this closed system, endlessly circulating the same content in itself, but philosophy/spirituality are the windows to what is outside it.

And I'm realizing I've become attached to the beauty and elegance of the ideas and not to what they're pointing to, not what they're showing. Like the best philosophy eventually negates itself. The window is nice but I gotta break it to go outside.

And it's funny cause I knew this years ago, finger pointing to the moon and all that. It's astounding on how many levels the same principles apply again and again and again... first it was negate your preconceived notions of the world to arrive at a conception of transcendent truth, now it's time to negate even the conception

>>18769163
makes me wonder what it would be like to visit an art gallery blindfolded.