Hey /x/, how do I have sex with a wendigo?? Please I need

>>18699591
You don't.

>>18699594
That's why I said my friend

>>18699591
Are we talking about the emaciated corpse or the chimera?

>>18699752
Either way, I need to put my wiener in it

>>18699761
Bribe it/her with meat, like male mantises do with their mates. Not sure if it needs to be human flesh, though.

Had any recent burials?

>>18699824
I'll kill a local serial killer or child rapist or something, wish me luck hope I won't freeze to death first

>>18699904
May your trips guide you on your quest. Also let us know what it looked like. Pics would be appreciated, if you don't get ripped to shreds, that is.

>>18699938
I'll try to make a webm just for you, I think I'll search in Yukon or Alaska

>>18699975
Well, thank you. I await my fap material/nightmare fuel.
Also, are you a Canuck? That seems a bit far from home for me (U.S. citizen here)

>>18699990
Yep, Vancouver B.C., I have family in anchorage though so maybe on a wildlife/hiking trip I can muster my way up for some frozen pussy

>>18700078
>more fucking trips
It seems the gods favor your quest for the bony poon. Good luck, man.

>>18700100
>>18699938
You're doing trips wrong, unfortunately. It's when the *last* digits of your post are the same number. For example in your post ending with 2 zeros, you would have dubs.
Get with the fucking program or don't post at all.

>>18700127
Hey, I just wanted the monster-fucker to feel secure.

>>18699591
Wendigos are know for there large dicks. It is best for you to first make sure your body it ready for an advantage of 2 by 0.5 feet of meat.

Should you wish to mate with the females, that's not happening.

>>18700304
>Wendigos are know for there large dicks
I can confirm, being a Wendigo myself.

File: 1488062952672.jpg (14KB, 262x337px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 262x337px

>>18700304
>Should you wish to mate with the females, that's not happening.
And why, pray tell, is that?

>>18700340
How's global warming treating you buddy?

>>18700357
Just waiting my time for that next ice age, than will see who's laughing.

>>18700351
You're competing with male wendigos that have dicks that can be 2 feet long.

For them, that's like trading in a top of the line PC for a broken radio.

File: Hmm.jpg (208KB, 370x482px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 370x482px

>>18700372
You have two arms that aren't broken (I assume).

>>18700407
Puts a whole new meaning to the term fisticuffs.

>>18700407
I guess, but how much pleasure would you really get from that?

It's not like you're dick would even become part the the equation. Even a BJ is out of the question thanks to the ice cold breath causing maximum shrinkage. All you would be is just a mediocre and disposable sex toy that would be abandoned at the first chance.

>>18699904
>a local serial killer or child rapist or something
Moldova?

>>18700446
Or a potential food source.

>>18700446
Also, I'm still wondering how you know so much about Wendigo anatomy. From what I gathered, they don't even have (intact) genitalia. Also, how the hell would a female be able to take nearly 2 ft of meat? Is she hollow?

>>18700476
That too.

In the end, female wendigos are some of the worst things to have sex with. Male on the other hand should be good if you are willing to risk death by penis size.

>>18700486
Hell to the naw! One, I prefer life. Two, I'm not gay.

>>18700372
>>18700446
>>18700304
First of all, how would one know how big a male Wendigo's dick is, let alone it's mating rituals?
Second of all, how would dick size factor into whether or not a Wendigo takes a mate?
If anything, she would choose those who gift her the most meat, as well as those who can keep their own against her.
The mating would be a Tasmanian Devil dance of hell, with the music set to mindfuck.

>>18699591
You don't need a big dick, OP; however you will probably need to be the swollest nigga to ever grace the Earth, as well as severval pounds of (human?) meat.

File: 1487996109326.png (514KB, 1280x1500px) Image search: [Google]

514KB, 1280x1500px

>>18700666
This guy gets it.

>>18699904
>a local serial killer
you say it as if they are common

>>18699591
>for a friend

>>18700078
Those quads guarantee a wendigo will violently rape you with it's massive horns before devouring your body and soul.

>>18699904
Kill the village rapist

Is it a vore phantasy of any kin/d/?

>>18701429
Probably closer to necro.

>>18700666
>666

DO NOT TRUST THIS DEMON

>>18700369
I can't wait for full desertification then we'll truly see who's laughing fro-zone

>>18700821
When you're already a serial killer, you're in the group. They're easy to find.

File: 1486567408537.jpg (25KB, 354x438px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 354x438px

>>18701270
Quads

>>18699591
Show it a trick
Step one: Give it a flick!
Step two: Helicopter dick!

File: 1477970618588.png (103KB, 600x587px)

103KB, 600x587px

>>18699591
If you survive upload the pics to /x/

File: 1459654070348.jpg (406KB, 442x600px) Image search: [Google]

406KB, 442x600px

Dating normal girls? not for me either. any way I can court an eldritch horror?

you need to read some Blackwood if you want to know about the wendino

>>18700357
>wendigos
>global warming

ONE of these things is bullshit

>>18699761
I thought you said your friend.

Otherwise, attract it obviously, that's not hard, and have a plentiful meat source so as not to immediately eat you

>>18700369
>implying humanity will still be here on earth when that happens
ill be laughing at your "ice age" all the way from mars wendikek

>>18707591
More like Wendicuck lol.

>>18703205
Lol I be trippin playa, because clownin like Urkle.

And this gets over 50 responses?
Fuck X man

>>18700484
>Also, how the hell would a female be able to take nearly 2 ft of meat? Is she hollow?

The same way those blonde girls do on that LessThanCaucasianed.com website

>>18705372

That's a wendigo? Then what's the one with soft fur, long ears and big feet?

>>18708758
Need a pic for reference before I can make an observation.

>>18708819

It hops around, eats grass, not people. What's that one? Because that's the one I want to put my wiener in.

File: 32003bd128bebe99cb8c655a9c0f00f5.jpg (95KB, 736x1104px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 736x1104px

>>18708831

>>18708844

That's the one!

>>18699591
Bend over and bite the pillow

>>18699591
You don't. Not unless you wish to become the beasts next meal.

>>18703522
What a cute girl.

...more?