I keep forgetting. I keep watching, but I keep fucking forgetting.

File: IS.Az.jpg (33KB, 837x495px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 837x495px

I keep forgetting. I keep watching, but I keep fucking forgetting. How do i stop the cycle? why do some remember, but I never do? Years and years and years it feels. but its only been 2 days. it just popped the fuck up

my idea is that I need one final viewing, but I have to remember all the other times i watched before i watch again. if i dont remember, the last viewing will never be the final one. it will always be the first and the last.

when i remember it, i cant find it. when i forget, somehow, i know where to stumble upon it. maybe it knows how to attack the subconscious?

hold for me please. you have to make me remember next time, before the final time I watch. I need a word a trigger word that will bring it all back to me. i dont fucking know, it may take a few tries but i think i can get there. i need to remember all the other times. That way I can always remember the final time, and never watch it again.

It will happen soon. I will forget it all yet again. piece by piece. it all comes back like a tank. like a seizure when i watch it, then gone again

Writing a memo doesnt work as i always assume its by the hand of someone fucking with me even though I warned myself of that. multiple times. recording myself sent me into the worst frenzy for some reason, and the sad part is that i STILL FUCKING FORGOT. i deleted the recording, something i will gladly not force myself to remember even though im sure it will come back at some point. it always does

A pic hasnt same effect. luckily i thought quickly as the memories flooded back this last time.

Its all I need hopefully. just a simple way to send a spark to my brain. a place i frequent, one of my favorite topics to read and explore, now an actual curse.

i just done know what else to do or even if theres any logic to my plan