Don't know of this is the right place to ask but I need

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Don't know of this is the right place to ask but I need some spiritual guidence. I'd imagine you tulpa loving fucks know the most about spiritual matters so I'm gonna ask anyway.

First I'll say a little bit about me. I was raised in a family of skeptics, my mum is a bit catholic but doesn't attend church and just adheres to the moral guidelines. I was raised around science and took to it like a duck to water (next year I'll be going to uni to study biology). A couple of years ago my mum got cancer, and it looked like she wasn't going to make it, especially after her first operation was a failure and she went into sceptic shock and had to go on life support. I spent days repeating in my head "my mum will survive" until I utterly convinced myself that she would. A few weeks later she had a miricle recovery and was out of hospital after a week. When she went in hospital again to get the tumor out I did the same thing again and she was out in a week after major surgery.

This among other smaller experiences has started to make me doubt myself and think that a god, or greater power might have heard my pleas and intervened. This thought goes againt all my beliefs and I don't know what to think anymore.