What's the quickest, easiest way to summon any kind of paranormal

>>18589357
probably adopt someone with two dicks

Go on /soc/ and look explicitly for trap waifus

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>>18589357
>go outisde
>go to a heavily populated area, the more souls witnessing the faster the process will work.
>Remove shirt and other torso clothing, but whatever you do DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS
>pour 1 full can of grape soda on yourself
>pull out a KFC bucket
>yell angrily from the bottom of your autistic soul while walking in a circle and throwing fried chicken everywhere
If you did everything right then clouds will appear and form a portal, summoning Nigra the Great who will grant you 1 wish if you promise not to call the astral authorities on him since he's most wanted right now.
Also don't wish for more wishes or try to betray him since he'll get angry and teleport behind you in order to shank your kidney in revenge.

>>18589357
way that works or creature that works

>>18589400
Made me Kek, well memed
>>18589418
Method that will work to summon a real paranormal creature

But for real, can someone tell me a paranormal creature that they were able to summon and how to do it?

Salvia

>Go to any buffet with spicy food
>eat until you are at your limit of stomach capacity and/or spice tolerance
>get home, chug laxatives
>sit on toilet, wait

The beast that arises from this unholy ceremony won't be paranormal sensu stricto, but it will be monstrous and foul.

>>18589438
Kek
>>18589431
What's that?

Salvia: a hallucinogenic mint relative that is considered to be The Most Potent naturally occurring substance.

I consider it to be a sacrament paying tribute to the Virgin Mary/ Holy Mother.

When you use the substance, at least for me, a woman's soul would always appear to me and talk with me telepathically. They would try to impart on me with understanding about Love and wisdom.

Truly, a ground breaking entheogen

>>18589450
Do you have any experience with it? How much does it cost? Is it easy to find?

>>18589443
Salvia Divinorum is a mild, fast acting dissociative hallucinogenic.

>>18590119
Salvia is a very strong dissociative hallucinogenic. Don't play with that shit ignorantly lol

>>18590125
In what fucking sense is it mild, rofl. What do you call strong then?
It's full blown made up shit within seconds.
Only DMT rivals this..

>>18590119

You can buy it online if it's still legal in your area. Cost depends on how strong of a dose you want.

>>18590134
Ok, so apparently it's legal in Oregon

Seriously, does anyone have any stories about Salvia??

>>18589450
>mint relative

sage and mint are in the same family of plants, but Salvia Divinorum is a kind of sage, not a kind of mint.

It is not mild.

>>18590133
It's mild in its relative toxicity. When I did it back in the 90s it was only available as dried leaf and you had to hotbox at least a gram in like 5 seconds to get the effect.

>>18589450
Who talks to you? You receive visions from the mother?

>>18590143
It's mild compared to synthetics. Also, and OP this is the best part for beginners, it's very short acting. You recover your normal senses within like 5 minutes.

>>18590156
I'm shopping for it rn and see they sell it in pill form. Good idea or should I go with dried leaf?

>>18590164
Nevermind, I realized it was Kava that was in pill form. Is that shit any good?

>>18590185
Yeah it's like caffiene

>>18590187
Oh, that's not what I want then. Can you OD on Salvia?

Just found out it's not legal in my state. There's a website that will ship it to my address through UPS and requires me to make the payment upon delivery. Sounds like a trap though.

>>18589357
hot topic

>>18590217
You can od on dxm I just took five boxes.

Anyone know the best and easiest way to obtain DMT?

>>18590277
What's DMT?

>>18590286
Hey there friend, there's this little website you can use. It's called G O O G L E

>>18590286
DMT is a powerful, visual psychedelic which produces short-acting effects when smoked. It is used orally in combination with an MAOI, as in ayahuasca brews. It is naturally produced in the human body and by many plants.

>>18590277
Make it yourself. Go to Erowid's Rhodium chemistry archive, and make any purchases you need (none of the stuff in the recipes are illegal). I made some 6 years ago with great success. If you're not comfortable with chemistry, you're shit outta luck, it's not common unless you hang around with folks in the psychedelic drug subculture.

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>>18590277
Easiest way would probably be to bring yourself to near death. But that would probably be a one way trip.

>>18590137
one time it felt like gravity suddenly started pulling me horizontally to the right, and I fell down

>>18590217
It causes a sudden rapid rise in blood pressure that sounds like a freight train coming so I'm sure it could kill you if you have a bad heart. Like, if you couldn't run up one flight of stairs then you might think twice.

>>18590383
>smoking salvia standing up
lol

>>18590359
have you had one? what's the best way to have one?

My friend got punched in the head by a flying alien on salvia, I met Quetzalcoatl

>>18591205
Machine elves here

>>18591210
I thought that was dmt? I didn't really get to do much don't snort it haha burns like hell

>>18591198
No never had one. It's just that you release a large amount of it from your brain when you are near death. I wouldn't recommend it.

You also release smaller amounts when you dream.

>>18589357
There exists one historical story that tells of an 1700s or 1800s capture of a female Bigfoot in a southern European village. Supposedly they used a method that had been preserved by the native people of the region. The story has considerable detail and appears to be accurate historical information.

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>>18591294
So they just found a female southern european?

Eh, I wouldn't trust drugs or anything else that fucks with the way your brain works.

Barring that, deep meditation while trying to 'pull away' from your body and then calling out to entities will usually get you a response that will stay as hyper-lucid as any real event if not moreso.

I'd recommend you do that.
For an actual summoning invocation though... Dunno. Break the veil by inviting them into your area strongly enough? Do totems or symbols help them enter and stay in an area?

>>18591446
Female Bigfoot. There exist photographs of her two kids and the bone structure is unique but they passed as human sort of. Dressed like it but never lived normal. The bones are probably buried in a regional cemetery.

>>18591559
>joke
>your head
Im actually mostly S. European myself.

>>18591689
Oh, I see now.. It was in Russia. And DNA has been tested from her descendants. ...And she was 100% sub Saharan human. Probably an ottoman slave. I'll accept the DNA results as the final word on that story.

>>18589357
Well that was my first idea because I have on one occasion been near a Bigfoot/Sasquatch.
Next method would be Ouija board. Try to call non ethereal entities.

>>18589357
i'll bite.

1) make yourself depressed and think extremely negative thoughts.
2) keep this up for 7 days (optional)
3) travel to a place that doesn't attract visitors. a place where lots of people either died or a place no one in their right mind would step foot on.
4) make sure it's nighttime.
5) make sure you're alone.

there you have it. you'll attract something from doing all that. whether you live or die isn't my concern. have fun.

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>>18589357
Also, OPs pic is a trick that can be done with the quantum computational material this sweater is made from.

>>18591518
>I wouldn't trust anything that fucks with the way your brain works.
>Barring that, deep meditation while trying to 'pull away' from your body and then calling out to entities
Oooookay.jpg

>>18591559
I remember this, but forget her actual name. she had descendants in the village and was supposedly really slutty

>>18589357
You mean like a demon chef? Or a maid?

>>18590383

Similar story from a long-haired friend. Him and a girl we know smoked it, sitting on the edge of a bed, he said it felt like someone grabbed his hair and pulled him backwards flat onto the bed, and then down through it. Then a bunch of stuff happened that felt like hours passed but when he came back out of it it was only a few minutes