Have you ever have fervants believes in something you know to

>>18562582
and then for some reason you wanted to show everyone specially those who also believed in it what you found as a celebration

but all you got were insults and rejection?

happened to me in some /x/ meet ups

post story please

They even promised to give me the podium to speak but never did

i always kept apologizing and asking for forgiveness sometimes for things i never understood

and now at this very moment those people are still angry even tho i never lied i never mistreated and i was never ill conceived

all i wanted was to show what i found

i followed their every command for them to give me the opportunity to do so and yet it never happened

A lot of the things were against my will but i had the respect for our shared believes

in the end it costed me everything i had but they asked for something that didn't belong to me which i have no right over

Im conflicted and don't know what to do

i asked for direction just a single line that would give me hope in accomplishing what they want

yet once again it was met with resentment

if i ever were given even a little ray of hope i will fulfill their wish

>>18562597
>Be me
>Believe im some sort of special kid that has a destiny of some sort
>Could do shit when i was a kid that seemed like magic
>But at the same time my life was nothing but misery and pain
>This went on for so many years
> something went wrong and felt very sick for a bunch of years up until not so long ago
>Finally find a magic book where i seem to know what it says
>Somehow it turned out all the pain and misery i lived had gotten me to the point where the magic book says funky stuff happens
>And i suddenly had magic powers
>But something went wrong again
>And i became ill again
>So there i was in a convention about the book and wanted to talk to people about it
>But since i was just the new guy and kinda of an autist no one took me seriously
>i tried my hardest to do everything they wanted to fit in
>Even if i was met with rejection and insults every time
>They even started to demand things that made me sacrifice a lot of what i held dear
>And i resigned myself to comply because the book was just too cool
>I kept asking for them to give me a turn in their reunions but it never happened i keep asking why and i got not until later
>Despite all of this i respected the book so much i just couldn't do anything but resign myself
>But one day they asked to go against what the book says and i became conflicted should i go against what the book says for the sake of the people in the convention, the book is so important to me i mean really really really important cause it felt like it was my self and at the same time something far more than me
>I asked people around but they think its stupid and then more insults and stuff
>Life is complete suffering
>All i asked someones opinion to be at peace with the decision whichever it was
>and yet i got nothing
so i come to ask x what do they think

>>18562646
I should do

>>18562651
I not even once lied to them in anything and yet i get ill treatment i know there are rules and i respect that but what they are asking is beyond me but it could be not beyond the teachings of the book itself

thats all i asked thats all i seeked just a simple answer

i was denied of evn that

what did i do to be born from suffering into suffering

i wonder

>>18562657
Even the last thing they requested required faith but faith in what? My faith is in the book if they don't want me to have faith in the book i asked

in what should i believe

And yet never got an answer

>>18562661
I don't think i have a single good memory in life it was always pain and suffering

and it continues

and it keeps going

and going

i don't know what i did to be born into such a fate

and once again i ask

what should i do

Will i get at least an answer from a random online forum?

>>18562667
IN all my life even unknowingly all i did was follow the teachings of the book and nothing else

>>18562673
So if they don't want me to have faith in the book and by extension my self and what i lived

what should i believe in

it was a simple question

that still doesn't have an answer

>>18562683
without that i can't even do what they request from me

>>18562684
why does it have to be so hard?

Everything in my life

have i been born cursed?

does anyone have a constructive idea?

Focus all that which you feel into a physikalische skill to boost Training

>>18562646
I think at the end of the day, a book is just a book. some books can help you or change your life. but when you get down to it they are just books.

what book is it?

>>18562735
its a niche book with compilations of old tales arrenged in a certain way it kinda tells a story

>>18562740
sounds suspiciously like the bible.

>>18562687
no. life is hard. lots of people have theories as to why life is hard, but I don't think anybody really knows. it just is what it is.

what feels true to you? believe in that. if nothing feels true, then pray in whatever way you are comfortable in. pray for answers and rest assured that they will come. do NOT try to read answers into every little thing, though. give it time. it won't come in outside signs or omens, it will come from within you. if there is a god who listens, they will come from god and be communicated to you. if there is no god, then the answers will come anyway, from the deepest wisest part of your mind. the reason I say that is because if there is no god, then the only one qualified to give answers to you is yourself.

>>18562747
well its kinda like that but if you make a philosophical analysis of it its pretty mind opening

>>18562747
>what feels true to you?
I feel i lived a life for certain important moment that happened and now im asked to go against it i said that its impossible to do so by myself but what i learned enables to do it for someone else or something beyond me

Thats all why do i have such misfortune ? i can't do what they ask without something beyond me

>>18562590
this, allegory of the cave...
what you discover in meditation and even ego death is yours alone
no point bothering in pointing it out for other people
sometimes you find the greatest of all things when you finally stop searching
look up allan watts