>recently moved back to the country, near where i grew up

>>18494640
>get out of truck
>smell of literal shit hits me like a breeze block
>my buddy has a shit sense of humor
>go inside, the stench is rank
>filled with 3-5 foot high mountains of garbage, with little footpaths around the mountains
>walls smeared with dried shit drawings
>some of the trash piles have dried shit in with the garbage
>some dried turd piles just on the floor
>we should definitely have had hazmat gear, but i dont bring it up because they dont cotton to pussytalk like that round these parts
>we get our snow shovels and start the highly sophisticated dumpstering process
>its not a real big house, two floors each with about 1000 ft2
>finish shoveling out the bulk of the first floor, normally wed take a break at this point but were in the middle of a German Paradise and we both want to get done as fast as possible
>climb up to second floor
>surprisingly clean, when compared to the first floor, only general rubbish around on the floor instead of mountains, that and, of course, more shit
>three rooms
>bathroom, cover in poop
>bedroom, empty except for a single, queen sized mattress laid directly on the floor, slightly less poop in this room
>third room, likely meant to be another bedroom
>in the third room we found something puzzling, a full sized deep freeze
>the kitchen hadnt even had a fridge, so this discovery had us both a bit wtf
>power been off in this place for a few days, but the deep freeze was insulated well enough that with the winter weather it kept the contents frozen
>the contents...

>>18494661

and i took pictures but my buddy made me delete them on account of the fact that no one would ever see these pictures and not demand the full story, and everyone in the county would hear about it, and then his gdad wouldn't be able to pay people to live there

>whatever turbo-Hans who had previously lived here had used this deep freeze to create a type of frozen-shit sculpture
>it had to have been an additive process, with him shitting, then collecting the shit which he then must have molded onto the body
>it was vaguely human in shape, like a four foot tall, slightly more well crafted version of the play-doh stick men we all used to make as kids
>shitboy had been crafted in a crude lounging position, his head leaned against one end of the interior
>a few things were odd about shitboy, for one, he had been dressed in a boys button up plaid shirt
>secondly, hed been given eyes
>like, actual eyeballs
>fortunately, my buddy let me know that they were deer eyes, too big to be a human's
>he kept reminding me that they were too big to be a humans
>like he must have said it a dozen times in a five minute period
>but there were two more disturbing qualities to shitboy
>the first is how we knew he was shitboy and not shitgirl: the 6 inch frozen poopcock jutting up from shitboys crude waste
>and, finally, how we know that shitboys creator was a he-Hans and not a she-Hans
>shitboys gaping frozen asshole
>my buddy and i wtf'd for a good ten minutes before we finally collected ourselves, we shut the freezer lid and hauled the whole freezer, shitboy inside, downstairs and out to the dumpster
>as we tipped the freezer into the dumpter the lid opened up and shitboy got flung out into the dumpster
3/4

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>>18494672
>my buddy started cursing up a fucking nonstop storm, grabbed a real shovel from the back of the truck, climbed up on the edge of the dumpster, and beat the everliving fuck out of shitboy
>he smashed shitboy all to unrecognizable bits, even smooshing the frozen deer eyes
>but he kept going, cussing so loud and long that i was actually kinda worried my ride/employer/friend had gone insane from the days shitastrophy
>but the cursing stopped as the shovels edge caught part of shitboys plaid shirt
>the shirt got flung up into the air with my buddys back swing, and as it flew, we both paused and watched it
>out from one of the pockets came a folded piece of paper
>i moved, without realizing what i was doing, and caught the fluttering paper before it could land
>i unfolded it, and saw a note written neatly in red ink
>before i could even start to read it, my buddy jumped at me and grabbed it from me
>"NO."
>he pulled out his lighter and burned shitboys secret letter
>i protested, wanting to unlock the mysteries behind shitboy, but my friend had shut down, and just kept saying "NO." as the paper quickly burnt up

so after that we dumpstered the rest of the trash and went and emptied the dumpster down a ditch, which is what you do with trash in the country. my buddy has recovered some, but definitely is not in a good mood

I just woke up before writing this, i had a dream about shitboy crying and decided i had to tell somebody, even if i couldnt tell anybody i know irl or else maybe lose my sidejob, which pays pretty well

Fake and gay, because OP is fake and gay and didn't save the pictures because he's a cuck for his BF/employer.

Sage.

>>18494680
WTF did you faggots wasted that sexy sexy shitboy

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EVERY thread that starts with a frog picture sucks ass.

>>18494780

>>18494798

>>18494803

>>18494680
You have my attention OP. How did you feel in your dream around shitboy? We're you scared? Sad? Adamant? One time I had a dream that a kid from my middle school was in my house and killed my family, and 5 years later he killed his two sisters and then himself because apparently he was psychotic and took the wrong meds. He seemed normal to me throughout most of highschool though, even though he did have slightly antisocial tendencies.

>>18494966
in my dream he was at the bottom of the ditch, back in one piece again, crying from his frozen deer eyes

the dream didnt last long at all before it woke me up, i felt like something very important had just happened, mixed with an uneasy feeling

seriously, i put a lot of humor into how i related the experience, but thats the only way i can handle telling it without freaking out, this thing was surreal on a level ive never experienced before

>>18494992
Why don't you try asking your friends dad who the former owner was? And why was your friend so reluctant to read the note?

>>18495007
oh next time i see him im definitely going to ask my friends grandpa if he knows anything about the last owner/tenent/whatever, its another bit of strangeness in the whole mess because in such a small, rural county usually everyone knows just about everyone, but id never even heard of or seen this place before, so i have no idea who it could have belonged to, which is unusual in and of itself

my buddy was just done, i mean hes a decent guy but hes a real good-old-boy type, someone making a fucktoy out of animal parts and their own shit was just too much for him, he was just done i think , didnt want to add or uncover any more weirdness, he just kept saying "no" over and over until i stopped talking about it and we went back to the job, i honestly think hes low-key traumatized

It honesty feels like if /b/ in its prime was turned into a person and was left alone to do whatever.

And then some poor slobs had to bear the brunt of his doing.

>>18494680
Someone made a fucking golem out of frozen shit? That's awesome!

>>18494640
>peaks my interest

>>18494640
But why did you post Biles Slick?

>>18495043
Post the thread if you find anything about the former tenants.

>>18494680
Hahaha. Bravo.
6/10 if rp. Good but lacks closure.
10/10 for real event. Pure insanity.

>>18496036
OP here, kinda impressed this thread is still up, i honestly thought it might get janitored

ive been at my main job all day today(still here actually, just on break),which is not clearing out houses, thats just side work, so i havent seen my buddy or his gdad today, but im scheduled to go back out there tomorrow and sunday, his gdad should be out there one of those days, as he usually shows up after we get the trash out and the place cleaned a bit so he can see if theres anything that needs fixed, so i can talk to him then

ill let you all know what i find out

>>18494805
>>18494803
>>18494798
woah dude far out

>>18496982
I think you did a good deed by releasing the tormented spirit from that shit golem.

It cried, but in the long run will feel better.

Good thing you didn't read the note, it might have been some kind of finders-keepers type thing.

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>>18497015
Although... you did LOOK at it...

You had me up until the fluttering piece of paper. Fake and gay

i hate that you used the homestuck frog for this

>>18495043
If you had evidence this would be one for the records. A shame really that both the image of shitboy got deleted and the not was burned. If any of this is real that is.

>>18496982

I want answers, OP.

Make it happen.

>>18497015
>it might have been some kind of finders-keepers type thing.
No, idiot, it's clearly the programming of the golem. You can't have a golem without a purpose.