You, as a genuine seeker, have gone through many significant

>>18453696
http://www.themystic.org/dark-night/fit.htm

>>18453696
You feel an exile in both places. You don’t belong in the old pastimes. in the old empty or numbing way of life, yet you somehow can’t fit in or feel at home in the fellowship of those who talk naturally of the higher consciousness and its reality. They are experienced, they are absorbed in it. They are loving, giving people. But you are unable to live, with full heart and mind, the way they do. They’re able to apply the principles of higher consciousness easily, yet it’s so hard for you. They have manifestations and proofs on a regular basis. You only stretch like a human mule after a receding corncob while pulling the heavy weight of your old tendencies behind you.

You try to be good, and often you can’t. You try to be loving and find at times your heart is hard like stone. Sometimes your projects fall down around your ears. You keep struggling and still you don’t break through. You understand the path is one of joy and yet your life seems to have been barren for a month or two, perhaps longer. Where did that early joy and zest go?

File: 1280px-Ploughmen_Fac_simile_of_a_Miniature_in_a_very_ancient_Anglo_Saxon_Manuscript_published_by_Shaw_with_legend_God_Spede_ye_Plough_and_send_us_Korne_enow.png (493KB, 1280x963px) Image search: [Google]

493KB, 1280x963px

>>18453705
SEND US KORNE ENOW

I find joy in finding the balance at this point.

Up to this particular time there was joy, there was delight. But now there is only a hanging on, a dogged hanging on. You persist because you can’t conceive of going back to your old way of life. That seems impossible now. That would be like going to prison, living as if with a transorbital lobotomy.

You deeply want to have joy and fulfillment, easily manifest prosperity, but something’s not working. You don’t know what it is but something’s awry, and your meditations have lost their luster. Sometimes, during rare meditations, you do experience brief moments of peace. Your agonizing mind and heart rest from their turbulence and even these fleeting times of calm are so deeply appreciated. Your light dance of life, which had gone on for some time, is now a trudging in what seems a devastated and alien land.

Nope. I failed and am seriously considering suicide as a result of it.
Knowing that I failed is itself an obstruction. Also there are people I want to lose.

>>18454043
You should wrap yourself in a huge giftbox and slit your wrists inside.

Merry Christmas!!

>OP summarizing my spiritual crisis like it's nothing
god damn m8

KOMBAT 666 WILL RELEASE THE HOSTAGE IN EXCHANGE FOR A SIGNED PHOTOGRAPH OF JESUS

Remember The Hero's Journey ppl.

Not alone you are in the darkest hour.

Be vigil

Meditate outside in nature guys. I'm telling you, it's worth it.

File: 22f1c8-caduceus-by-Spirit_Fire-300x298.jpg (21KB, 300x298px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 300x298px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHW2RI9eNiw

File: zcamera-20161223_141501.jpg (3MB, 2036x2036px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 2036x2036px

>>18454073
Here ya go lad.

>>18454791
It's hella cold out, anon

File: 9c4231f9ba49af784495e2ba8e49c5f0[1].jpg (23KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 640x480px

>>18454043
The failure you perceive is the battle of your higher self with your ego self. The failure is your ego's inability to let go of control. If you strive for higher consciousness through the ego you will further yourself down your Dark Night of the Soul. I do not know your way, I can only reveal to you your dilemma.

File: quote-the-dark-night-of-the-soul-is-when-you-have-lost-the-flavor-of-life-but-have-not-yet-ram-dass-88-27-96[1].jpg (83KB, 850x400px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 850x400px

>>18454043
>>18455156
Believe it or not, that’s what the dark night is all about: transformation. Your ego, your limited sense of self, your inadequate complex of ideas about who you are had to be dissolved. Your ego was, you begin to see, eclipsing higher consciousness and your true nature. Your old sense of self was inadequate to your new hopes and proper state. Your suffering intensified because of a major misapprehension. You were too used to thinking of yourself based on inputs from your previous experiences in life. On and on through life, you gathered information and responses from the world which indicated to you what kind of person you were and are. These superficial units of related inputs became integrated in what is called the ego — your sense of self, your sense of who you are. As long as you allowed this inaccurate or only partial sense of who you are to dominate, you could not know or abide in your true nature.

Burn it all down. Fuck "higher" anything. If I needed altitude I'd smoke weed.

File: artwork-monk-buddhist-meditation-spiritual-1920x1200-wallpaper_www.wallpaperno.com_25-1[1].jpg (79KB, 420x262px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 420x262px

>>18455156
>>18455169
Your ego sense is so powerful — you invest it with so much of your thought and feeling — that your attitudes of life become based on an egocentric perspective. The ego gains a progressively greater foothold on your entire life because your basic attitudes about your existence and essential nature are strongly linked with ego.

Then, your ego sense, due to your suffering or your limitations in life, wants to have more power over circumstances and a more pleasant life. The ego sense often becomes motivated to seek higher consciousness and, thus, greater ability to dominate in life. Not always, but often, it is the ego sense which most eagerly pursues higher consciousness. It wants to be in charge; it wants to manipulate events and make life come out more to its satisfaction. But, as long as your ego dominates, it is on a collision course with your true nature and your higher consciousness. There’s going to be a showdown. There has to be a confrontation sometime if your higher consciousness is ever to emerge, if you are ever to know truly who you are and what your human capabilities are.

File: hillarys foreign donors and agent process 2.png (48KB, 971x739px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 971x739px

>>18453735
Are you talking about yourself, but saying "you", or something?

File: 1359926880211.jpg (499KB, 1920x1280px) Image search: [Google]

499KB, 1920x1280px

>>18455156
>>18455169
>>18455180
plz listen to this guy he knows what the fuck he's talking about

>>18456721
>Your ego sense is so powerful — you invest it with so much of your thought and feeling — that your attitudes of life become based on an egocentric perspective. The ego gains a progressively greater foothold on your entire life because your basic attitudes about your existence and essential nature are strongly linked with ego.
>Then, your ego sense, due to your suffering or your limitations in life, wants to have more power over circumstances and a more pleasant life. The ego sense often becomes motivated to seek higher consciousness and, thus, greater ability to dominate in life. Not always, but often, it is the ego sense which most eagerly pursues higher consciousness. It wants to be in charge; it wants to manipulate events and make life come out more to its satisfaction. But, as long as your ego dominates, it is on a collision course with your true nature and your higher consciousness. There’s going to be a showdown. There has to be a confrontation sometime if your higher consciousness is ever to emerge, if you are ever to know truly who you are and what your human capabilities are.

>>18456725
You keep struggling and your attitudes about who talk naturally of the outside. You try to your heart is on through the old tendencies behind you. They are absorbed in communion with fellow seekers and your inadequate to apply the path is but something’s awry, and often you will further yourself based on through life, which had to thinking of higher consciousness and even these fleeting times of the outside. You try to manipulate events and yet you progress toward higher consciousness and its reality.

>>18454064
This, although I perceive it as something much more "real" rather than spiritual. I know for a fact that my mind rationalizes a lot of what's going on, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm knee deep in a sea of conspiratory bullshit inside of my own mind. My sanity serves as sturdy wellington boots, but even though shit doesn't touch my feet, I can still feel its grip on the boots as I slowly move my feet across my mind's planes.