I've had psychosis Ask me anything. >It lasted for 1

How did you get over it?

What kind of psychosis. I had a depersonalization episode when it started to snow here.

>>18373138
It got over it by slowly figuring out what is true and what is false, but the delusion was strong so it did take some time

>>18373144
Cannabis Psychosis idunno
I was jesus and an alien at some point

>>18373161
Damn. I've never been that far into a psychosis. Shit must be scary. The closest I had is that I had to kill myself for the greater good of humanity and the people around me. But I guess that came with browsing 4chan too much.

Do you still feel rational or do you still feel like what you've been thinking about is somewhat real? Because I know about ''being jesus''. It has a lot to do with repressed anger.

>>18373197
I believe in some of the things that happened.

The part in witch I asked my dad about grandfather, and why he was Hitler; he got shocked. Because my grand grand mother was calling grand father Hitler because the way he was treating my dad. He have never told anyone about that, so he was surprised and scared himself.

The Jesus part can you read about in what I wrote while in psychosis, maybe some compressed anger yeah.

http://pastebin.com/3i2Cd1tj

NORWAY
Arctic RACE + Cultural = JESUS CHILDREN

Alcohol + Rivotril = It broke my phone
MDMA = It made me happy
LSD = It is the way it is
DMT = dimensional

>>18373225
I think you're trying to express yourself with words you don't have. I know I have a similar thought pattern when in psychosis. You're feeling stuff no one prepared you for and it's terrifying. I know some people look into the occult, religion or whatever to explain what is happening because they usually have a nice, straight-forward explanation for it often relying on the symbolic.What it did to me though is make me even worse. What helped my a LOT is actually reading about psychosis, schizophrenia and mental diseases in general. That's called exposure therapy. You look into what scared you in order to better understand it and not be afraid of it. Much like someone with arachnophobia will be expose to spiders to conquer its fear.

I don't find your text particularly aggressive though. There's a lot of symbolism though which is why I'm saying you're trying to express yourself with words you don't have.

Being too nice can make you have a Jesus delusion because you're being nice all the time but nothing comes out of it therefore making you feel like everyone around you is evil and you're the only one with a pure heart around.

Same with being an alien. It's symbolism. You probably feel ostracized by other people so you're trying to find out what's different about you. And when you feel you're too different from other people it can make you feel like an alien. Therefore you'll look for signs that could prove your point. Couple that with a vivid imagination and you can get in some trouble.

I'm not saying I'm right but I've been struggling with this for a while and I made some progress so I want to share what I think about this.

File: angle.jpg (18KB, 709x289px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 709x289px

>>18373131
>angles was speaking to me

>>18373299
Holy crap you really know about this.

I was begin nice to everyone, because didn't want to fail "the test".

It was so much more, but to sum it up; this was my reality.

"Dark Matter" is the matter of souls.
Dark as in does not reflect light

I could save humanity, if I did everything right just like Jesus did.
It was picked out as the test object for humanity and the punishment of god.

The thing is, I were not really religious, but I went full crazy in with it in the psychosis

>>18373360
I*
not It

>>18373360
I understand. You're connecting the dots. But you're connecting the dots with a limited amount of knowledge. This is why it's important to know about the subject, so you can break the cycle and get out of this thinking pattern. Because, even though you really want to save humanity, being in that state won't do you any favor. Maybe you should read about Jacques Lacan. I don't agree with everything he says but he has made some great research in the field of psychosis. But now I'm trailing off on a subject that has nothing to do with /x/.

>"Dark Matter" is the matter of souls.
>Dark as in does not reflect light

I'm not sure what you mean by this but this seems bleak depending on what you mean by ''soul''.

File: just buddha things.jpg (379KB, 1862x768px) Image search: [Google]

379KB, 1862x768px

>buddhism+jesus
you mean like, you figured out that jesus woke up in greyspace and was sending all his clones to live everyone elses life in an individual tube so that he could have his very own copy of humanity?

>>18373316
Lol hahaha

File: 1473244806273.jpg (92KB, 612x612px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 612x612px

>>18373360
>I was begin nice to everyone, because didn't want to fail "the test".

Is that really authentic niceness then? As I understand it the point is to express what you *do* find nice in the world, and share that with others. Because nobody else actually knows what that is, until you communicate your feelings. It was never a test. It's a mechanism of social reality.

If something nice happens, and you express gratitude, that's how the world around you knows to what your preference is. Faking it doesn't really help, because then you just get more of what isn't actually good for you. And the ultimate mode of communication is to find those others who agree on what's nice in the world, so you can use each other examples, and grow in that direction.

These things are true no matter where you are in your mind, whether you're 5 layers into puzzle land, where everything's inside a computer, or feeling deserted in the middle of nowhere in physical reality, or anywhere in between that you want to lay down as the basis of your reality.

At the end of the day, if you fake your emotions, you're going to wind up with a fake sense of reality. That's just kinda' how these bodies of ours are programmed.

>>18373131
I had two psychosis in my life so far, both times it lasted for months, so I know where you're coming from OP.

Now in hindsight, do you think of it more as deep mystical experience, as something real and maybe divine in nature, or as just a fucked up brain chemistry, just too much dopamine in your brain and nothing more?

I lean towards the first one, but it's of course also important to keep a distance and not take this stuff too literal, no matter what it is. So while you are of course not literal Jesus, there is something behind this whole stuff that's hard to put into words, I dunno, we're all connected to something much bigger than ourselves and during psychosis we become consciously aware of this connection. At least that are my thoughts about this whole thing, what are yours?

Other Anon chiming in,
Had a 2 month long psychotic episode,
started as chronic major depressive, on and off maybe 3 or 4 years,
was becoming disassociated but 'managing', extremely fixated on books I was reading, was studying calculus and music at the same time.

a variety of bad things happened, I was working maybe 60 hours a week which was no good, got in a fight with my housemate who has issues of his own and ended up alienating most of my social support network, relationship drama, it threw me in a tizzy.
Stated to experience things that in retrospect, were consistent with a panic disorder, intense fear of death, anxiety/sleeplessness, thought I was having a spiritual breakthrough.
Whole thing became really scary, thought I was being chased by ghost, auditory hallucinations, paranoia, thought the CIA was spying on me and plotting to break into my house, reading thoughts, that god and death were fighting over my soul.

Quit both my jobs, had to move back home, hurt myself and ended up briefly in the hospital, stopped talking to a lot of people, slowly decoded everything and put it all in context, it took a while, maybe as much from the social wound as any symptoms.

it was unpleasant and I'd like to never go through that again, but maybe mildly enlightening as to all the things that root us in reality and our identity.

I'm not religious, generally very well grounded in rational thought and methodology.

Magical thinking is dangerous,
maybe I bum around here just to warn others.

I do want to believe something is looking out for me, but i just don't see it.

sorry to confess, good to get that off my chest, commensurate.

On the whole things are a lot better.

>>18373161

>I've had psychosis
>still tinks in psicological terms

my friend the illusion is still going on , you just lack the mental capacity to accept tha noting is real .
go back to the barn cow.

>>18374791
This helped me a lot. Ive been feeling so unauthentic in everything about myself and its causing me serious problems.
Any more advice or suggested reading on this matter?

I think psychosis is a way for you to get so deep into delusions that the only way to get out is by going inside yourself and actually do the work and rid yourself of all that's false. This process makes you question things you believed even before the psychosis took hold. The process will leave you clearer about what's true about the world and yourself, It's like you are being forced to clean up your room completely, not just some of it until it's all clear and tidy so that you can thrive better than you did before.

what is the weirdest thing you fucking flipped out over

I think I suffered from a psychosis as well, it lasted about 10 days.
My pupils were dilated and reality felt like I was high on shrooms or something

>>18373360
>I could save humanity, if I did everything right just like Jesus did.
>It was picked out as the test object for humanity and the punishment of god.
fuck dude, I've been having this the past couple of months too. For me though, I was the king of beasts, the cain in the old testie and the 666 in the new. I fucked up in my past life and now I am to wander this earth building and creating as I please, but with the purpose of being the champion of the weak, to protect the animals, the insects and trees and all life. For me though it was quite beautiful and its really shaped me up into a better human being so far.

First and only time I've had psychosis was in a mental hospital
>go in because threatened to kill self
>they determine I should stay for 2 weeks
>give me a cocktail of drugs
>sertraline+7 cups of tea/coffee a day makes me stay up for 3+ days
>facility is just one floor, a couple hallways
>no outside time
>having conversation with new guy at like 3 am
>seems pretty chill and not totally looney
>out of the corner of my eye his face looks all morphed and it looks like he's staring at me
>start hearing him "murmur" unintelligible babble really quietly
>"what did you say?"
>looks at me with a confused look
>go full psycho and get extremely paranoid/anxious that he really just wants to kill me
>took 2 staff members and at least 2 hours to calm me down
>give me drugs, pass out
>feel fine in the morning

And that's how I learned not to be a pussy

Oh man OP, I've had psychosis too/a ton of mental breakdowns and I'm still confused, but thank god I'm not completely nuts currently. Although this wasn't brought on by drugs or anything, just my mind fucking up.

>>18376309

One time I believed I was pregnant with the antichrist and I starved myself because of it (that one didn't last long though). Another time I thought I had the holy powers of a priest and was the reincarnation of Socrates.

>>18376329
K E K

>>18376329
>(that one didn't last long though)

You mean the anti christ or how long it took for you to have a miscarriage?

Any anon here loose a ton of weight by any chance? I went from 210 to 150 throughout the whole ordeal. All the experiences seem similar, was wondering if body mass change was a symptom as well

File: 20798_10152907140571497_569857160715232941_n.jpg (75KB, 500x572px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 500x572px

Used to smoke heavy amounts of weed along with antipsychotics and antidepressants just to trip out. (wasnt psychotic). I was in the army at the the time and fully convinced the pills caused a massive psychotic breakdown in my psyche.

But at the time is when i started experimenting with my chakras and meditation. And i had a third eye/kundalini awakening. So that, combined with the drugs, caused the most surreal experience ever in my life which is the reason i am the recluse antosocial depressive person i am nowadays. I am cured. But i used to hear voices, had depresonalization and dissacoiation for almost a year and a half. My literal psyche was fragmented and id act out different character and i didnt feel in touch with reality.
I was starting to believe i was carrying the world on my shoulders. I was feeling energies from miles away and my imagination was amazingly strong. Even felt like i was legion, possessed by various demons. I was literally going fucking insane.

But i have a feeling in my heart this was all for the better because as soon as i met a friend involved in the occult and doing a few banishings. All the voices, and negative thoughts. Faded away, and i no longer suffered from psychosis. Its an odd connection. But it truly happened. And i got heavily involved in the occult and spirituality.

Life is odd....an odd puzzle i shall never figure out...

>>18376345

I wasn't actually pregnant and the whole antichrist thing just sort of disappeared from my mind.

Something else weird did happen while I thought some demon shit was trying to possess me though (except I don't think I thought I was pregnant at the time). One night when I was in my bed, I guess I was thinking or focusing too much on demons or something and suddenly I heard what sounded like a baby crying from close by (for some reason I thought it was a ghost and maybe my neighbour miscarried) and I also heard what sounded like my dog freaking out (and it felt as if there was laughter coming from something dark?). I don't know what the fuck happened that night.

>>18376397
Woah nice, you sound like an ex of mine in terms of crazy and having episodes.

Did you feel like your mind escaped your body/felt like you weren't yourself?

>>18376362
>with antipsychotics and antidepressants

Wait I know you said you weren't psychotic but were you depressed and/or mentally ill at all? Or did you just pretend you were mentally ill so a doctor could give you medication and you could trip the fuck out?

Also yeah those symptoms are so damn heavy. I used to be just as fucked up and now that I think about it I really did become an antisocial recluse, yet somehow I've gotten a bit better this year and now I want to try and have a better life- but uh, all of this fucked up stuff that went on with my mind was something that lasted/went on and off for years. My mind was fucked up without drugs though, but then I got extra fucked up from different medication (until eventually I got on medication that actually helped me). It was all a huge insane whirlwind.

Was it the occult stuff by itself that got rid of the psychosis? Were you off the drugs at the time?

>>18376408
>you sound like an ex of mine in terms of crazy and having episodes.

I'm not sure how to feel about that.

>>18376439
i was getting them from a friend and we used them while partying.

I got off the drugs, and drinking and weed.

But i most certainly feel that the occult made my mind stronger.

I once believed I was Jesus Christ reincarnated after I started working on my chakras and getting into kundalini meditation and philosophical/spiritual ideas and practices. I saw a thread here on /x/ of a guy that claimed to be Jesus, so I clicked in on it and further down the thread OP said "I'm just joking, I'm actually the anti-christ", so I felt it was directed towards me personally. His post ended with the number 3333, which striked me as odd as I had been seeing the number 33 repeatedly for a while beforehand. I tried to just shrug it all off and tell myself I was delusional, then I picked up my transparent workout-shaker with water and drank up the last remains, and I shit you not, right there at the bottom was the number 3333 engraved, so that added fuel to my "delusions". Maybe a few weeks later I started coming over lot's of odd synchronicities about Egypt and there was a feeling inside that it was trying to tell me something, but also that I was mad. So I tried to just shake this off to, but no matter if I ignored it something new regarding the matter would just pop into my life. One instance I went to the attic to get some stuff and ofcourse there lied a book about ancient Egypt staring me in the face, I did not even know I had it. This made me curious, so I started looking up about it and came across a character named Serapis Bey, talking about him having to do with the flame of ascension, which he transferred from Atlantis to Egypt. The weird thing is that a while before this I had a dream were I was being instructed by some kind of guru/master and was sent on a boat traveling through Egypt. Another thing that added to my "delusions" was that I resemble physically both Jesus and Serapis a whole lot. These days I don't feel this way anymore, I don't know what ended it though. One things for sure, during that period I was in an almost unwordly feeling of happiness and calm. It felt like God was with me at all times, now it feels absent.

>>18376450

Dang that's interesting. I feel like a lot of power is capable of manifesting when groups of people concentrate enough.

But Anon that's ridiculous, messing with medication used for mental illnesses that you don't need can fuck you up harder than more standard drugs; should've just gotten some ecstasy. Btw if you drank alcohol with the medication you could've died.

>>18376463
I was a kid brah. Shit happens i guess.

File: 37ca76390f8d0712d1ac6bedc13171848e5acac9b93628e9512999bb890e03c6.jpg (32KB, 450x300px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 450x300px

>>18373131

>>18373161

>>18373131
>felt like LSD
nigga lsd is heaven

>>18376397

The more I try to remember the more I realized how much crazy shit went through my mind. I haven't tried to think about this stuff in a long time (well except for certain memories) so it's a little hard for me to write down what happened.

The most surprising part was me becoming religious, funny enough. (although I didn't completely stick to one religion. I held onto the belief that if one religion was real than all religions are probably real.) But some weird stuff happened when I was in "religious mode" but they could have all been silly coincidences. I was able to get a ridiculous amount of oil out of what looked like an empty tube of some oil hair product once I left it upside down on a table and focused on it. I prayed to God (or angels/spirits or something since I still wasn't completely sure what to believe) and asked for a sign of protection and a piece of chalk suddenly rolled off a table and fell onto the floor. One day I held a coin in my hand and squeezed it hard with a lot of energy/focus and when I let go one side of the coin looked like it was covered in black stuff. Later I washed the black stuff off but I really wonder what exactly I did to cause that to happen.

File: 6987.jpg (313KB, 521x810px) Image search: [Google]

313KB, 521x810px

>>18376467
>I was a kid brah. Shit happens i guess.

I'm gonna have to echo this guy, >>18376469

But I'm glad you got off those drugs Anon, seriously it would've completely destroyed your mind and then kill you. If the meds aren't helping a person but keep being used they can fuck you up worse than regular illegal drugs and at a much faster rate.

>>18376512
i was literally a kid. 17

File: 1469753942447.png (686KB, 607x625px) Image search: [Google]

686KB, 607x625px

>>18376523

>17

Don't mean to be mean, but It's still pretty dumb.

>>18376563
im aware bro, but we all learn from our mistakes

i surely did.

File: 2bd3f45f8d34e507e1e9f11348060925.jpg (140KB, 668x663px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 668x663px

>>18373131
Do you feel like you have some kind of deeper purpose in life? Like you are here for a reason?
If yes. Is there some exterior, unexplainable power making sure of this?