Greetings /X/ For the past 2 years, possible longer, my whole

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Consider that nobody really knows what reality is. Not ayys, or humans, or anyone that doesn't fit in that category. Decide for yourself what TYPE of reality you want to experience, on the understanding that those who inhibit that reality are probably asking themselves the same question.

So. Let's start with types--what do you think the options might be? This is just philosophical banter for now.

>>18370987
Yeah

It what freaks me out, like. All i did was discover how broken this reality is, i don't know how to suddenly make it work.

and they mess with me in a special way.

Like, the other day, i was suddenly woken up outside the matrix, and back with friends and family.

And sitting and talking i guess

Not much

The next question is the same you asked me, or what is the meaning of life actually

And my reality that suddenly started shifting

and no longer was it a dream-world, but looked exactly like the world or matrix i have been living in for all i consider life.

and stand there for a few seconds before i suddenly woke up again, and back to my bed and reality.

and it has been a question, like. i dunno

Just the feeling i don't know anyone anymore, and i am closer to the people outside the matrix, than the people inside it.

is really freaky

who is my friends, who do i trust, what should i do, should i try to break free, the people subjecting me to this are the people i trust the most for moment

it's really absurd

it's why i spend most of my time having fun with Donald Trump memes and build the wall

I don't know what matters anymore

>>18371034

You are having out of body experiences.

You are creating memes that will be seen by Millions.

You are playing an important role in Society.

If those meme's don't align themselves with the will of love.

Expect a future of mental illness coming your way bud!

You will come out of this a better person.

- An older person who has been through it ;)

>>18371054
I just feel to much like Frodo sitting in the shire, except the shire doesn't actually exist and is just a few feet of green grass around his feet.

And the rest of the world he can't determine what is

So i am like, smoke some blunts.

Except i don't smoke weed, but if i did. you know

>>18371054
and the werid thing about "love"

in this sense

I am quite hostile towards anyone who should be considered knowledgeable in this subject, or anyone who might be "agents". What ever that means

I haven't really dug into that subject, about agents.

It would just seem reasonable if i discovered this world is artificially created by beings i don't know, there would be agents.

I couldn't possible be the only one bearing what ever ring i am carrying at the moment.
Because all i see is illusions and lies.

in some sense.

My mind wanted to speak something here, but

I am trying to not take myself or the new lights in my life too seriously, if i do. I just have fear of other people suddenly taking me serious, or people making me serious.

Seems like a lot of responsibility.

So act dumb. Hopefully somebody knows better than you, or you find a way which is currently hidden.

I am having a lot of questions i am currently ignoring here, for the past year the people in my dreams has mostly been having fun with me or laughing at me.

>>18370987
and sorry my mind just speaks on its own, and consider everything i read or hear to be bullshit.

It's been that way for a while

...

Mostly I am just asking, don't make me too serious.

And in the same

Why is everything just a show

I never really thought about what reality i would want to live in, didn't think it was a choice really.

You just try to adapt

And in the same, i don't want to be alone, but i have gotten a weird fear of people sinse i started accepting magic is real in some sense

And probably not very democratic, by its very nature.

>>18371274
Even though by the same, i just try to adapt, i always had a tendency to rewrite reality and make choices nobody else had.

So my reality was always different in that sense than most else

And suddenly the choices i tried to make doesn't exist.

and now i am just subject to what ever, which i quite enjoy.

Actually

But my life is a mess.

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>>18371274
>I never really thought about what reality i would want to live in, didn't think it was a choice really.

Maybe it's time to start. You can make a pretty good argument that everything here is a simulation of sorts, and we're just minds observing a set of predefined paths. But even if that's true, so what? Apparently what it's a simulation of is physical reality, and so all the normal rules apply. And we know for certain that even in the rawest physical reality, everything is still simulated through your senses before they reach your awareness, so that part is true.

But if you *could* change aspects of that, what would you want? Do you prefer a reality that seems more physical in nature, or does the idea of realizing you've been in some kind of holodeck all along excite you? Personally, I've been trying to find the way to the holodeck for ages now. If it turns out no such thing exists, then I would start from scratch to build one. But if I found people who knew the way to the door to one, I would ask them for directions. So to me, it doesn't really matter what reality *is* because I'm so focused on what I'd prefer it to be. And I will work within the confines of whatever rule set I need to make that happen, whether it's the rules of physical reality, virtual reality, or anything else I hadn't considered was a possibility.

What would you prefer it to be?

>>18371292
I just keep arguing I wish there was no reality

And i was free to fall with out limits

But my reality has been really weird for the past two years, mostly i sit around and tell bad jokes.

and try to have fun

Some times something really extraordinary happens, and yet i don't know.

I am currently living in such a small reality, in sense, out on a farm far from everything.

That my sense of what the world is, is rather lost.

People mostly talk about jobs, money and the life out here, complain about the world and i don't know.

I am having aliens witches touching my body all hours of the day in pleasureable ways, while looking at spaceships and what you have it

And it's all inside my mind.

So i don't know.

I think friends matter, even though those the only i have currently is inside my head.

Which does really ask a lot of questions about what i really want.

>>18371319
Right now i am sitting and thinking i probably should start wonder about they have to tell, or want to tell me.

When it all started I was just rather freaked out, i was rather broke in all senses of the word.

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>>18371319
>I just keep arguing I wish there was no reality

Yah. That one's not really an option. You exist. Can't do anything to change that. Even if you do change that, that which you change it to will also exist, and that thing will be you.

>And it's all inside my mind.
Everything that happens is inside your mind at some point, or else you wouldn't be able to sense it. That said, there are different degrees of how "inside your mind" something can be. Some things originate entirely in your imagination, and end where they begin. Some things take elements of the outside reality, and your mind creates a unique interpretation of that information that nobody (except maybe your close friends) else can understand. And then still other things are just raw unfiltered data, exactly as the world is displayed directly onto your senses.

When you decide what kind of reality you do wish to exist in, you can explain that to either direction of your senses, whether inside your mind, or outside in the physical reality. Because even if alien witches, in little tiny spaceships are an idea that's only in your imagination, if you can on that level communicate with them (yourself?) that way, it will find a way to manifest on all levels of your reality experience.

For now it sounds like you and the cyber witches have a good thing going, so I wish you luck on that. Enjoy!

>>18371356
Well, when i meant inside my mind, it's just that I am the only "observer", or how to put it.

It only happens to me, and nobody else experiences it or notices it.

So i only have my mind here to use

>>18371363
No money, no proof

No nothing, just a huge talisman given with out explanation.

>>18371363
What exactly do you see in your mind, that you're the only observer of?

>>18371356
And thanks

Wish you luck too or what endeavor you are on

>>18371369
Well, i have a manifested body i am experiencing at all times, a female body, i am boy in this reality.

...

And it's very sexual.

The other stuff is mostly voices, manifestations of people outside reality i sometimes see saying hello, explosions on the sky when i was dancing to music, hitting the beat i was dancing to, space ships

and so forth, too much to tell here. I also have sleep paralysis where i am woken up to three small dogs raping me

>>18371389
Have you considered the possibility that somewhere, somehow, there are others who are thinking the same thoughts as you, just... not necessarily because they happen to know you or anything. Just by pure random chance?

If so, you and whoever these strangers might be are connected by thought, if not through physical reality.

>>18371394
Yes, but that kinda worries me. I read about the blue beings spirits and so forth, what every theory i once had, sent to earth to transform it.

And save humankind, and such.

But i have tried to stay away from such theories

The kinda freak me out. I mostly try to accept this as the new normal

and from here on out, i have no idea

>>18371413
Its a theory i remember reading about like 2-3 years ago, it was posted a lot here on too.

And all the "spirits" i have seen, have been blue, mostly. Some times i see white ones flying around above me, like - very physical bodies. Just they are nothing but white lights, i have been sitting.

I am probably supposed to learn how to do something.

but

op you write

like a schizophrenic man approaching

a zenith of impenetrable homosexuality

please seek

immediate help because,

i can't help you

neither can /x/

touch my butt

hail satan kek into the afterlife beep boop ayy lmao

>>18371418
and most of what i knew about the world, in sense countries, government, things i learned in school

Doesn't seem real anymore

everything i knew seems like a lie

and i am here sitting

then what is it all, how many people actually exist in this world.

>>18371413
>>18371418
Why does it scare you though? If it's all in your mind, then obviously you can't be harmed by anything you imagine.

Unless you're scared that your thoughts might *actually* have some basis in reality. In which case, what exactly is it that you're afraid? Until you let the world know, how can you possibly avoid it? And if you don't trust anyone in the world, how will you ever learn who your friends are?

>>18371421
Yes, i am very aware. That's why i never speak my mind except when anonymously on the Internet.

>>18371424
I don't know, either reality is a fragment of imagination, and nothing really matters, in the sense it used to at least. my life and existence is a lie persuaded by beings for purposes i can't control. don't know, and can't affect

and in the same sense, suddenly if i want to break everything apart just because i can.

I make myself into a god or cult leader

and suddenly i am taking responsibility for things i don't understand or know about.

giving answers that might just be the same bullshit as everything else

besides i am not that angry or violent, i am just stuck between, i don't know.

It all happened with out me doing much other than asking a few questions and trying to fall in love.

>>18371430
Now the world seems different, like. Are we fucking Jedi-knights

My life has just been filled with magical beings, with me just sitting.

Magic didn't use to be real.

And suddenly i don't know what life is about, or how to affect it.

Should i get a job?

maybe it's me who is the dumb kid who never realized everybody is experiencing what i do

But i don't know, and now i talk about friends. Did i ever have friends. How do i make friends.

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>>18371430
Ahaa. So there's a love story involved. Care to tell me who and where, and when and why? I love a good story.

>>18371455
Not right now

The Aliens feel like we should have more fun with my flamethrower.

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>>18371473
Okey be safe!

>>18371477
Tak!

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>>18371482
Indeed.

Seek professional medical help. And seriously if you are on any meds, prescribed or not, toss em if they are not absolutely neccissary. If you give me details on the time surrounding when it started, changes that have happened, and basically just stories and detailed stories i may actually know what to do.also note any unusual reoccuring thoughts (ei a reoccuring nightmare, or a thoght you seem to often end up on when sitting around thinking).

>>18371493
go fuck yourself

>>18371495
something went wrong here, i told you to fuck yourself.

Not me

Please help

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>>18371512

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>>18371513
I get it. Because the one is the all, and the all are the one. Classic.

>>18371551
oh, no. It's because the hands started touching my pussy.

erhm, sorry for foul language. But don't know how to explain

But i guess it could mean that too

>>18371609
Which is the most extraordinary thing about this whole spectacle.

Since i am a boy actually, with a penis, and i see no hands.

And i thought it was a spiritual love story

In sense

But i can't find any references to this, haven't been given an explanation, the reason i first had has kinda vanished and all sorts of stuff

And if i try to speak about this

It's pretty absurd.

So i don't know.

Anybody heard about something like this before.

I was just a normal boy once. Kinda

>>18371652
Which has also made the whole world seem extraordinary violent at all times.

And i don't know how to

i don't know

I do also realize by reading my own posts i don't want to listen to any of you.

But i feel like you are all so hostile and full of bullshit i rather not.

>>18371691
So you gotta wonder why i post here, i just asked myself that question.

I don't know to be honest, just trying to figure out if there isn't any reasonable voice in this world.

Ehrm

>>18371425
don't listen to that faggot. I like your words. You're very real

>>18371453
>>18371453
>How do i make friends.

Post your skype name.
Make one if you don't have one.

>>18373142
Maybe later

But my problem is searching for information which should be there.

But then it isn't.

The whole world, its like my whole life is hallucination i don't know how to realize, because i am like.

what does that mean even

Most of the time i realize i just slander through the Internet looking at what i am given.

But then i start searching for stuff, which should be there, it would make sense.

But then it isn't

huh

Since that realization i haven't really been sure what to do. I trust nothing

>>18370973
Does your nerdy uncle live with you and your parents?

>>18375340
No, my mom thought i wouldn't like him.

>>18370973
Because you mentioned a movie without explaining the realistic context to that piece of art, it sounds like someone is deceiving you.

Your writing skills are below average, you need to express yourself more specifically and rigorously to take control.

Divergent personality. Your speaking to yourself. But somewhere along the way, you split. Probably due to trauma. No telling from here Op. be well, all of you.

>>18375349
Well, yeah

It was actually because i was writing a girl messages to ask why i was having some kind of spiritual awakening ever since we went out.

I have had weird episodes before, but they were kinda frightening with me being hammered in the head with solipsism thoughts. Believing everybody existed in my mind and nothing else.

Everything did, nothing was real. And nobody cared about me, in some sense.

I never really wanted to reflect on it.

It was just, hm

The thing about being called Neo was a joke of sorts, but i was because i was convinced i could feel her still.

and then i started writing, and kept writing.

and i had some surreal experiences.

Its quite a lot to open up actually. To give context.

But i thought i was a normal boy, not very interesting. But kinda smart.

Then suddenly i had to deal with something else

>>18375349
I am aware, i am just wondering if anyone else is aware.

For the last couple of months i have pondering about something i always did, subconsciously.

But never reflected upon.

About having a mind.

How i write, and speak.

I used to try open with a line, which. Lacked context

Not sure how to explain.

I have just been pondering about my own instinct to write, in the way i do. And sometimes how i see other write

Like, there is a sig-int test. To check if there is a mind or not.

hm

It just freaks me out, sometimes i believe i am right. Right now i am just writing my mind, with out any focus, or. I dunno

It just makes the world seem very dark

and i was woken up yesterday night, when suddenly my whole lower region seemed like a being in itself, and started talking or whispering to me.

And told me, EU4 is a game that creates to many rules and controls, NOW IT MUST BE DESTROYED.

It's a computer-game i play quite a lot, to distract myself, which is basically my life.

anybody have an explanation.

Except maybe i should stop focusing on my computer games, and start trying to figure out what is happening.

sorry for my, i dunno.

>>18375382
You need to construct paragraphs with your writing, for they are windows to the mind's eye.

>>18375482
You cannot distract yourself from a disconnect.

Video or computer games are hardly effective for treating traumatic memories, and only in a marginal sense.

Do you have some experience that you want to talk about?