Hello I tried to depolarise my self but all that does is repress

You don't

you gotta install magnets in your forehead and anus until you get repolarerated again

>>18364740
go outside and interact with people.

>>18364740
This is like people who think Buddhism and Stoicism are about not caring about anything.

Depolarisation doesn't mean that. It's about becoming a player rather than a pawn.

>>18365212
I just tried to take away my many irrational fears and everything else i tried to keep went away on its own

>>18365192
/thread of heket

>>18364740
You can't force this state of mind upon yourself. It's the reward at the end of a long road following the question "Who am I?" Claiming it prematurely just transforms you into a nihilist. It's not about seeing the game both sides are playing, it's about understanding why they play. To understand the beauty of all existence, you have to understand the alternative. Deconstruct yourself until you die. In that moment, everything becomes a reason to live.

>>18365337
I did, I died, then I felt my locked away nostalgia and then felt the world was meaningless, a perspective I had as a child, then I decided everything is meaningful, and that that perspective never made sense to feel bad about even if it was true which its not.

But how long until I can feel better and get invested in life and passions with deep emotions, feeling part of the world again?

>>18365360
Figure out what you want. Find something to love or something to fight for. Come up with stories and share them with others. Lose yourself in something you like doing.

Inspiration and purpose don't come to you by sitting still, but require you to be in motion. I made a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela last year that really helped me love life and feel a connection with the world around me again, but there are a billion different things you can do that would work just as well or better.

>>18365360
Also one more thing. For me this whole experience of death was triggered by me truly believing that I didn't matter. I had played with that thought before, but this time I honestly believed it. For a few moments I stopped feeling like a person and became a god. A god who didn't care about matter. As the physical world around me started to look more and more like a caricature of itself, and I discovered that it was me who was causing this, I had a realization. I had been mistaken. I did matter, because I love matter. And love matters. Even though I was not matter, everything I cared about was matter. To love myself, I had to make myself matter again. Make myself something I was not. Then I felt like I had solved the joke of my existence and was back to normality, enjoying it more than before.

>>18365538
Should I developed all my fears back?

>>18364740
Stay off of /pol/
Meditate
Take a walk
Volunteer
Sacrifice a virgin to Moloch
Feed the birds
Take up a hobby

LSD