Are satanic rituals real and do they work? Can I pray to satan?

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>>18351412

>does satanic rituals real and do they work?

Yes, *if* you believe in them. Same as *all* magic.

>can I pray to santa?

You could pray to Spongebob if you were inclined, so yes.

>can I sell my soul?

Given you're on 4chan and shitposted this for a laugh, your soul probably isn't even worth a losing pre-scratched lotto ticket. So it won't do any good bothering. Try cosmetic surgery, pharmaceuticals, and exercise.

>>18351440
It's not a shitpost i'm genuinely serious retard

>>18351440
tips your fedora faggit

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>>18351412
>Are satanic rituals real and do they work?
yes/ sometimes
>Can I pray to satan?
yes if you choose, but you'd have to be an idiot
>Can I sell my soul to stop being ugly looking?
No, your soul probably isn't worth enough. you could probably sell it for a few years of artistic inspiration or good luck or some gay shit like that, first you'd have to get a demons attention and I doubt you're interesting enough to do so. There is no "Demons Code" or whatever, conducting a ritual is the metaphysical equivalent to ringing a demon on their cell phone. They can always just look at their caller ID and say "nah fuck this ugly faggot" and ignore you. If there is nothing special about you then you're probably shit outa luck.

>>18351440
Also don't listen to this faggot OP, "magick" (with a "K" is philosophical pretentious bullshit for people who aren't good enough to get girlfriends. "Simply believing" in something wont get you jack shit, when it comes to the metaphysical, you either got talent it or you don't got talent, or you're unlucky enough for the metaphysical to come to you.

Protip - Don't fuck around with demons, unless you hate yourself or want to learn how to hate yourself real quick or something. Go for a jog, get plastic surgery. The metaphysical is not a shortcut.

>>18351677
>citation needed

Stupidity

I've seen ugly asses get hot women

Stop being stupid

If I'm in the military can I sell my soul to be remembered for ever? Greatest warrior in history type deal if you get me

>>18351412
No, no, yes (but Satan does not exist so it is a pointless exercise), no.

>>18351412
Nigga my best friend is a 4/10 on a good day and constantly has at least 3 literal 9/10's wrapped around his finger constantly. Treats them like dirt too. Step up your game

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>>18351412

Really makes you think, doesn't it?

>>18351677
> equivalent to ringing a demon on their cell phone. They can always just look at their caller ID and say "nah fuck this ugly faggot" and ignore you.

Kek

>>18351677
> equivalent to ringing a demon on their cell phone. They can always just look at their caller ID and say "nah fuck this ugly faggot" and ignore you.

So a lot of religious people think there is disproportionately more observing entities than there are people. Are you saying there are less things observing us than there is people? If so, what's the alleged ratio and what are your sources?
>Or are you just an edgelord?

>>18351677
>>18353176
Because truth be told I am actually very rich with a background in the occult but this particular topic in general is something I am not quite educated on but you seem to be someone who at least would lead me to believe you may have some knowledge.

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>>18353179
>Because truth be told I am actually very rich with a background in the occult

And I'm the future Queen of England.

brb tunnel ahead

>>18351412
It's just a placebo effect mixed with something I would define as mass hysteria.

Basically, you convince yourself something exists and put it deep in your subconcious.

Then the candle tickle because the air circulated no matter if windows are open or not, and everyone's like "IT'S A SIGN FROM A DEMON".

People need to start using logic and reasoning, this is 2016.

What do you mean by satan?

Serious question. A little reaearch into the subject will soon reveal that even in most christian theology there is no consensus to who or what the devil or satan is.
>inb4 fallen angel who started rebellion in heaven
This is a meme and a modern folk interpretation of the myth.

>>18351440
Or he could just move to Europe and look normal.