Hey guys. I have an asshole ghost in my house. It's not

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>>18256199
>I have an asshole
>it likes to fuck
>shit and makes loud noises.
>it keeps me up at night.

>white-ghost.png

>>18256202
My sides are in orbit.

>>18256202
Christ, leave it to 4chan for the first reply to be a sex joke.

Pretty good though, I won't lie.

But please god get rid of this god damn ghost for me /x/ it's been two months.

The idea of a tare dying and becoming a ghost is hilarious. Just make fun of it or something that's what got rid of the tards in school

>>18256236
Nah that just gives it a target to aim it's unending rage at. Ended up having my clothes thrown at me from the closet while I was asleep.

>>18256199
Burning white sage is said to be best.

>>18256256
Might try that. Anything that can serve as a short term solution while I put in the order?

>>18256264
Probably line of salt at doorway that its active. You could try to make contact to see what the tard wants, either ouija board or a tarot/medium? Some say meditation etc works. Most stuff like this only lasts a gew weeks tops. How long has it been going on?

>>18256277
Two months, about.

Two sleepless months...

I hope the ouija board thing works then.
If I get a "hey it geg" from the board though, I'm gonna kill myself and drag the ghost to hell with me.

>>18256286
OP, how legit is this and how legit is your thread, are you bullshitting brother? Is it a draft OP or a family member.

>>18256286
Good luck OP. If I had the greentext of when /fit/ guy pummeled a ghost I would post it for tips.

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>>18256306
Found it. Beat the shit out of the little fucker.

>>18256305
It's legit. I plan to exorcise the fuck out of this tard ghost, if it even is a tard ghost.

>>18256312
I'll make you proud, /x/.
Get me the rocky montage music.

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There ya go OP
mean this one?

Right, I'm at work right now, and I'm not very swole. As a matter of fact, I'm pudgy as shit. But I'm still pretty strong. I thank my scottish decendants every day.
Punching ghosts sounds like a sick new profession. Might try it out as a hobby. But for now it's a bit of a testing phase.

It's not immoral to punch tards if they're already dead.

>>18256352
When does it do stuff? at a certain time? is it always the same room?

>>18256356
It does stuff all the time. I find shit everywhere where they shouldn't be. Found a picture of my mom and dad smashed on the ground and that was when I fucking lost it and decided to come here the next day.

It happens all around the house but it flares up in the kitchen at midnight. That's when it's at it's worst.

You have schizophrenia

>>18256367
I actually thought that myself the first month (after the initial assumption that my house was broken into or it was a dumb prank)

Then it threw a plastic cup at me.

>>18256199
ya sure you dont have a cat?

Become the next Ghostpuncher and kick its ass.

>>18256373
No, you have schizophrenia

>>18256202

top kek

>>18256365
So it's worst around the kitchen? Is this your house? Have you owned it since it was built? Have you noticed anything else besides shit getting thrown around? It getting cold in some places? Lights going out?
You say it started two months ago? Exactly that? Anything strange or significant happen then or a week before you can recall?

Two months is quite a long time for you to have not found a pattern, you really should pay more attention to the problems you want to solve instead of ignoring them.

Don't do the ouija board thing yet, you could be baited into a bad time. Try the salt first, then burn the sage. I'd suggest taking anything important to you out of the house beforehand so it doesn't get smashed to shit.

>>18256487
I never thought any of that would matter. I'm not usually home, but I remember experimenting a bit.

This guy is indecisive as all hell about lights. Sometimes I come home to all the lights being off after I made sure they were on, and vice versa. It doesn't matter if I leave a light or two on or off, either all the lights or none of the lights for this ghost.

As for temperature drops, I don't get any while I'm home. It could be that I haven't been in the right place at the right time due to work. I'll do what you say and move into my sister's house for a couple days and when I'm ready to smack spirit cards on my fists, we'll reconvene. Hope this thread stays alive long enough.

>>18256487
>>18256595
I've also lived in this house for a good three or so years. Bought it from the landlord for a decent price. It wasn't like the movies where it was hard to get the place either because "whhhOOoOOOoo, loooooook at this spoopy WHITE-GHOST.png". It's kinda old. I think it was built in '95? I'd have to check to be sure.

>>18256595
>Sometimes I come home to all the lights being off after I made sure they were on, and vice versa.
Sounds like just trying to get your attention and/or wear you out then.
So this
>I'll do what you say and move into my sister's house for a couple days
Is a good idea.

Reason I asked is because if you know by now how ghost stories go what initially seems like random activity might be patterned or purposeful. Suggesting something about what happened before or during death. Say like a scared housewife violently fending off her killer or abusive husband to draw from a cliché.

Unless you've somehow misread signs for two months straight and only focused on what pissed you off we'll just assume there's no message and you're simply being fucked with.

>>18256605
>As for temperature drops, I don't get any while I'm home.
So to summarize.
You bought the place, you didn't build it.
But you've lived there for 3 or so years.
Can't be sure if stuff was happening while you were away you didn't notice until recent, but you noticed this recent business and it's lasted two months since. During the time you've been annoyed but no sense of cold or dread or that, mostly just the situation being annoying.
Could be relevant or could be you're just a tough bloke to get to. Either way worth noting.

Can you say it's happened without interruption? A day or week hasn't gone by with pause?

If the house is 20 years old have you heard anything in the news about anyone disappearing or dying in the area during that time?

Try to remember what happened two months ago. If you've been there 3 years, why would it only get persistent now?

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>>18256199
>Should I summon a ghost tard wrangler or will a normal one suffice?


i thank you

Why don't you befriend it?

>>18256219
>referencing 4chan on 4chan

why don't you stick to playing chess and listening to jazz music you elitist.

accept the ghost for who and what it is. Maybe the ghost thinks you suck and fucks your shit up over a misunderstanding.

go to the super market and get boo berry cereal. leave a bowl out with a carton of parmalat and a note saying "hey spoop, I'm not sure why you're so mad but we can work through this. I apologize if I offended you in some manner and wish the best for you in whatever realm you live in. This is a cereal created by your people I hope you like it. Once again sorry."

then see what happens.

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>>18256987
just in case

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>>18256202
top fucking kek

>>18256352
make some wooden holy cross brass knuckle things and have them blessed then puch the tard ghost all you want

>>18256321
This is the funniest shit I've read in a while. I hope it's fake.

>>18256321
Stop reposting the crappy version and use >>18256312

>>18258309
fuck off tard ghost

>>18256987
Spooktacular

Well, if it's a tard ghost, just put a glass of water on a desk and wait for the ghost to push it over. When he comes, throw some fucking salt on his ass.

>>18258295
Fucking christ you guys got me woke for this shit now.

I'm gonna roll up some white sage in a cigarette and smoke it while I beat down a tardghost.

Ghost puncher 2: Corporeal Beatdown Boogaloo

Because that's how ghosts work.

>>18256987
spooptacular

>>18256656
As for you, my most helpful anon, I did some digging and nothing noteworthy happened around my home. I did look up missing persons but that ended up being a wild goose chase. Quickly led me nowhere. Gonna prep for a few days and then exorcise it as best I can with what little I got.

Never believed in ghosts until about a month ago, and here we are now.

Fucking love you guys /x/. Enjoy the skinwalkers tonight.

Just remember to suplex the ghost before you're done.

>>18258456
>did some digging and nothing noteworthy happened around my home. I did look up missing persons but that ended up being a wild goose chase. Quickly led me nowhere.
Odd, even the slightest thread suggesting an incident usually turns up when aged houses and neighborhoods have their background dug up.
If anything it's concerning there's not even the slightest lead as though tracks were swept, though that's really just speculating on a speculation.

The strangest thing is if we were talking demonic presence with no history to the property you should have experienced more damning incidents, excuse the pun, after two months than just broken houseware.
The only other paranormal explanation I could imagine is someone in your locale or social circle developed long range telekinesis and is using your place for target practice.

>>18258522
God damn I hope it's that second option because punching and then suplexing a ghost tard wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as saving the world from telekenetic tards.

But in all serious I was on one lead for a little while before it ended abruptly. It might have something to do with a cover up. I would understand covering up killing a child or something I guess but to be able to erase newspapers? I dunno. Seems fishy.


Also if I see another captcha asking me to identify grass I'm gonna do something not nearly as cool as ghost wrasslin'.

But we all know that Hulk Hogan is the besy exorsist!

>>18256987
>Spooktacular

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>>18258992
WTF is this shit? You're a fat fucking faggot OP.

>>18258992
>Cocoa valve
Fucking kek

>>18258769
>>18259136
>>18259206

Woah what happened here?