She existed for one year. I would end my day and talk with her

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She existed for one year. I would end my day and talk with her for half an hour, some days wake up and lay in bed for 2 more hours talking with her. I really wanted to meet her in my dreams and she always avoided it. Since I didn't ever designed a form from her, she was afraid I didn't like her form. 3 days ago 1 minute after I started talking to her she told me to go to sleep already while laughing. I asked her why. And she couldn't explain. She went silent and I said that this night I was going to discover why. And I said I hoped I it wasn't anything I had to kill her over. I never threatened her. I didn't find her this night. Next night she doesn't talk to me, just stays there and I say that I'm going to start killing her, the only way for her to stay alive is to show up in my dreams and explain what is happening before she dies. When I woke up, she had ran away. Haven't seen her yesterday, probably she won't ever come back.
Since it all started I saw huge things that barely can get past a door in the distance. It's not her since it's always a different kind of monster. It's not even a life form, it's like different weirdly shaped and disproportional robots. I'm also seeing shadows(black and sometimes white) rushing me. She is my last tulpa. I always tried to keep her weak and still look at all the troubles and worries she is giving me.
What do I do, /pol/?
What the robots mean? Also they arent eletronic robots, they are just a bunch of stuff stuck together that have 2 legs and 2 arms.