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So last night I was feeling particularly empty and emotionless. It's been a bit of an ongoing thing for a while... depression, I guess. I find it hard to maintain connection with people and find joy in interacting, or things, I lost interest in all my hobbies, standard depression stuff. There was a description of what it felt like to be a person who lost their soul on an episode of Supernatural I watched last night, and I was talking to someone on Skype about how I felt as if I related to that, you know, going through the motions and not really caring about much. I've accidentally fucked with demons and dark spirits in my past as a kid, and I vaguely wondered if somehow I had damaged my soul, but that was just speculation. This is what I actually wanted to write about: as I was talking about this, in front of my eyes in the total darkness, there was some kind of burst of multicoloured light that was far too bright to make out. It was like a disco light had exploded in front of my eyes. I said out loud, "What the hell was that?" and when I told the person on Skype, he said he thought I was asking about the three bursts of hissing (white noise) he heard suddenly. I got spooped and turned on the lights. Not the first time something like this has happened, but the disco lights were new. Any idea what the fuck that was about?
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Clinical depression and exploding head syndrome
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>>17778955
>exploding head syndrome
>"Exploding head syndrome (EHS) is a benign condition in which a person hears loud imagined noises (such as a bomb exploding, a gunshot, or a cymbal crash) or experiences an explosive feeling when falling asleep or waking up."
Not what happened, but good guess.
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>>17778946
Not trying to discredit your experience, I lack the authority and wisdom to be pundit and professor on all things paranormal but check with an eye specialist to see if your retina is detaching. Speaking from experience.
Sorry about your depression, I wish I had the means to help you feel better.
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>>17778970
I never even considered that. I do have vision problems... I need to wear glasses, and I wasn't wearing them at that moment. I haven't been to an optometrist in a while, so maybe I'm overdue. Thanks.
Still think the white noise happening at the exact same time was weird, but maybe he was just making that up for dramatic effect. Who knows.
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>>17778946
i was depressed forever and though i wouldn't call it depression anymore, i get no joy out of anything and find life to be completely meaningless.
either yesterday or the day before i saw some weird light (it had a defined shape, almost like a crescent but other pieces to it) floating through the air for about half a second. i enjoy the paranormal but i don't really believe so i'm concerned that there's something wrong with me physically or mentally now. it's fucked up, but it's the only time it ever happened.
no help for you, sorry, but your story reminded me of what happened with me.
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>>17778978
I've had similar experiences to yours too, I just also have had issues with my right eye so growing up I became familiar with vision deficiencies and the neuroscience behind it. The hard part is distinguishing tangible paranormal experiences from the mundane because the effects (nerves processing information wrong compared to spectral visions/extra sensory phenomenon )overlap different causes (natural/supernatural) and are just so similar. It's a great irony with most of the paranormal really.
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>>17778980
It's a bit strange that we would experience similar phenomenon around the same time with relate-able mindsets. I don't find life meaningless however, I really want to care but there's no emotional reaction to anything I do, if that makes sense. Like things that should make me happy are just there, no excitability or feelings or joy. Now I'm wondering if there's some connection between what we saw and a depressive state.
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>>17778991
Alright, second strike for vision impairments. Very possible, one of my eyes is worse than my other, so it could create that disparity and confusion.
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>>17779004
Well again just to reiterate, I don't want to discredit what you experienced. I can't speak for your past history and claims as I have my own first hand stories of direct experience with the fringe and paranormal, I just however don't see that as reasonable modus operandi to ignore or discredit rational medical science etc.
Odds are it's probably nothing serious but if you're overdue for a check up you might as well, right? You can cause all sorts of bizarre visual snow effects just simply by uncomfortably looking over you shoulder or bending your neck long enough, human body can induce a lot of hallucinating effects with no correlation to genetic deficiency or injury that most people don't recognise.
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>>17778946
Hey, that resonates with me so much! I think i have a soul though, it's just kinda frayed around the edges.
It's interesting, I wouldn't describe myself as depressed though, like I can be in a 'good mood' but every mood passes by quite quickly.
If you'd like to talk on skype, I'm happy to compare notes. (Sorry if I take ages to respond)
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>>17779024
I'm no stranger to hallucinations. I used to be a pretty bad sufferer of Hypnagogia but it hasn't happened in a long time. Also have seen a lot of crap I can't explain, very distinct things. The disco lights are new however and I would very easily believe they were due to a vision deficiency, and as you said, there's no harm in having someone take a look.
>>17779035
I think even the most depressive people will occasionally experience something resembling a 'good mood'. I have had short bursts of happiness but they never last very long. I wasn't depressed when I was a teenager so I'm apt to know the difference between how it is now and how it should be.
Thanks for the offer, but to be perfectly honest with you whenever I add anyone to Skype I never end up talking to them anyways, so it's probably not worth it.
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>>17778978
>>17778991
That's interesting coz now I come to think about it, my depression began around the time of a slow degeneration of my eyesight. I haven't seen anything too paranormal and i now wear glasses but.. Makes you think!
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>>17779042
>I used to be a pretty bad sufferer of Hypnagogia
I usually become hyper aware of that phase during rough times, as of late more often due to things out of my control that I'm dealing with in life right now. Maybe there really is a correlation to mental state and experiencing these things.
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>>17779042
Yeah same tb h with the skype thing
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>>17779049
It could be a biological effect. You know... instinctively loss of eyesight equals death, as it would when we were dependent on all of our senses to hunt and survive. Even with glasses correcting the problem it could persist as subconsciously feeling 'damaged'... but I'm sure there are tons of people with vision problems and blind people who aren't depressed, so likely a shoddy theory.
>>17779050
Possible. The Hypnagogia happened more often during my non-depressive years however. I haven't experienced it at all recently... to my knowledge. Mostly just manifested itself as spiders but there were ... other weird things.
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>>17778994
well an ongoing depressive state is very related to the physical body. the structure of the brain itself can be different between normal and depressed people. i wouldn't be too surprised if it was related.
there's also the possibility of spiritual or metaphysical damage or interference if you want to believe in that. i don't know much about any of this but i can say that i've never felt more detached from reality than when i was the most depressed. if there are things that exist outside of the material world, a depressed person seems like the perfect candidate for a real paranormal experience.
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