[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Alright, so, I don't know where to share this except for

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 57
Thread images: 5

File: received_1018954548198818.jpg (225KB, 665x1136px) Image search: [Google]
received_1018954548198818.jpg
225KB, 665x1136px
Alright, so, I don't know where to share this except for this board.
This is currently happening and my asshole is so tight right now it can produce diamonds from coal.
Never have I ever greentexted so bear with me.

>our tale begins in the state of PA
>I've been asked to house sit for sister in law for 3 days
>what ever, I have nothing to do and they crap ton of animals which I love
>9 fucking chickens bawking all over
>pic related, two of the chickens chilling with me
>border collie mix named Bandit, fat as fuck
>two cats, chill as fuck and sit with me outside whIle I smoke

I forgot to add that these people live on a 10 acre land in a house surrounded by a fucking forest with a huge field in the front.
>9pm, time to put chickens in the coop because coyotes already got to a few in the past
>all the chickens are already sitting outside the coop
>whatever less work for me
>close up coop, start walking back
>smokeydokeytime.cancer
>hear a rustle in the woods 300 feet from me
>>
File: 4946183.jpg (184KB, 1083x812px) Image search: [Google]
4946183.jpg
184KB, 1083x812px
>>17715193
>they crap ton of animals which I love
How does one crap a single animal, let alone a ton of them?

I don't want to know why you love it.
>>
>>17715193
Interested to see where it goes. Keep it up yo.
>>
>hear a rustle in the woods
>probably the fucking cats coming back for dinner
>hear a meow and see cats stampeding
>take out food and feed the feline friends
>Go back to my cancer stick, when I hear a rustle again
>probably fucking deer, I don't give a shit
>bandit, fat doge, actually stands the fuck up and wiggles away from the woods, displeased
>ivereadenoughspookyspaghettifor this
>brilliant plan, if they hear I have a dog I won't get fucking jumped
>"C'mon Bandit, let's go, who's a good dog"
>rustle gets closer
>pls no
>hear a voice from the woods
>man's voice
>"C'mon Bandit, let's go, who's a good dog"
>oh god I'm going to get murdered
>sprint inside, yelling that I'm going to get a gun and to get off my property
>lock doors, hide in the kitchen
>>
>>17715193
>all the chickens are already sitting outside the coop

made me smile for some reason
>>
ITT approaching mailman gets shot by creeped out anon
>>
>>17715197
Sorry, typing from my phone half shaking

Anyways.
>lock fucking doors, sitting in the kitchen with no gun because I'm too scared to fucking move
>also don't know where the guns are
>tap on kitchen window
>I'm too young to die
>"Hey pretty lady, come out"

At this point I already peed myself a little, keeping myself as quit as I can

>I know he can't see me, I'm a master of disguise also hiding in the pantry
>goes fucking quiet
>door starts rattling
>no phone next to me, nothing but a light and a cheeto bag to protect myself
>door stops rattling
>blessthegodstheygaveup
>>
>>17715211
They don't get mail next to the house, the mailbox is outside the property

>I think I am saved
>hear a scream outside the house
>not a calm scream, bitch is angry
>"I know what you look like, they told me what you look like, I know what you look like!!!"
>produce another diamond in my colon
>sit in the pantry for another twenty minutes before I think about leaving
>>
>>17715229
Keep going, I'm invested now
>>
>I open the pantry door and start getting out
>kitchen window straight in front of me
>a pressed face is on the window with hands around it
>you know, how you kinda look into dark areas to get a better view
>at this point I can't move from sheer terror and just stare at the face
>this nigga ain't got no normal face
>all fucked up and shit
>nose is half gone, imagine severe skin cancer kind of gone
>at least two fingers on right hand missing, stubby as fuck like he cut them off with an axe
>he licks the fucking window, yells at me that he knows the woods better than me
>walks away
>there's knocking on different doors on the house and different windows, and I can hear him walking around
>once in a while he stops spoopitrotting around and dry heaves

I have no idea what the fuck to do. I called the police and the person on the phone said it will take 40 minutes until they get here.
This is the most spoop ed I have ever been.
My life will be taken by a man bear pig
>>
>>17715246
this is real-time and still going on? did you tell the cops to come even if it will take 40 mins?
>>
>>17715246
Grab an improvised weapon and await police is all I can say.
>>
>>17715253
I'm currently hiding in the pantry with a kitchen knife and a half eaten cheeto bag
I told the police to come as fast as they can because my mind is frail and my soul is weak and I'm scared to all shits.
>>
Record video you idiot of this real you'll want the evidence
>>
>>17715259
Nigga I ain't coming out this fucking pantry
>>
>>17715259
If*

And if you can't get video ofc you'll say that next, then audio works for proof. Of not real, well I guess no surprise there
>>
Good rp OP
>>
>>17715263
Called it>>17715259
>>
File: 1463695490485.jpg (214KB, 345x336px) Image search: [Google]
1463695490485.jpg
214KB, 345x336px
>>17715267

I should do divinations
>>
Update:
>He's back to one door only trying to fucking tear it out of the hinges
>I'm incredibly disappointed in the poor guard dog qualities Bandit is showing
>yelling to let him in and that's his property
>nigga no

This update comes to you by yours truly, scared russian in pantry
>>
>>17715263
I have audio of him knocking on doors and yelling obscenities, but I doubt that'll be anything worthwhile
>>
>>17715274
How? Why is proof not worthwhile?
>>
>>17715275
I don't know how American police works, I've heard it isn't efficient without concrete proof
>>
>Home invasion
>Cops be 40 mins
>Dispatch doesn't stay online with caller

Totally believable
>>
>>17715278
It's proof enough that you aren't making this up and maybe they stay in the area or check up on you or maybe even use it as extra evidence if he ever is caught
>>
He got the fucking door, I fucking know it, I heard it slam
The police should be here any moment now, hopefully
Let me tell you one thing, he fucking STINKS
I'm going to lay quietly and wait for the police
See you later space cowboys
>>
>>17715283
Also, if he screams anything threatening your life then you've got death threats. Not like you know what he'll say, he could incriminate himself in any manner
>>
>>17715274
Post for posterity
>>
>>17715287
They wont, they took the easy way out once called out so obviously.
>>
File: skeptical.gif (966KB, 500x579px) Image search: [Google]
skeptical.gif
966KB, 500x579px
>>
>>17715293
They aren't even trying anymore
>>
OP is kill
>>
Where are you, city and state?
So we can check the news to see if you die.
>>
Would dispatch actually stay on phone for a 40min home invasion victim?
>>
>>17715285
Fake as hell lol ... gl next time
>>
not absolutely bad, tho. some good suspense. Next time make it more ambigous and dont claim that it was live. also dont use horro movie cliches.
>>
>>17715330
They are required to by law
>>
>>17715330
They would in the States. Or at least until person dies / danger goes away
>>
Yea a lot of people mess up with the cop call. Remember kids.
1. They will stay on the line.
2. If you hang up or lose the connection they will dispatch a car to where you called from and/or call back (don't know about cell phones)
Any one have any other tips?
>>
gg op sorry, should have looked for weapons/defended the house while you had the chance
>>
File: 1461708254970.jpg (68KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]
1461708254970.jpg
68KB, 640x640px
>>17715514
yeah what the fuck, he even went back into the pantry after the fucker saw him walk out of the pantry a few posts before. I'm not mad that this is all fake because everything is fake, I'm just mad it's such a shitty story.
>>
>>17715498
Stating that you have a gun and don't want to have to use it.
>>
>>17715360
>>17715364
I feel safer already
>>
>>17715262
Blackness confirmed stab that motherfucker in the throat
>>
It's really not that unbelievable. But we'll see where this goes.
>>
Rip
>>
>russia
>>
>>17715498
Yep .... Noobs
>>
Is OP kill?
>>
>>17718791
probably
>>
op?
>>
>>17715209
Can confirm as an owner of chickens, they explore generally the same route everyday and come back when it's time for dinner.
>>
Looks like OP confirmed for kill
>>
Rip op c u
>>
My favorite part was how the time changed to panic, like despite hiding in the pantry from a monster he was able to pull together a casual tone to start out the thread
>>
>>17715272
OP is Russian? Makes sense that the cops won't be there for half an hour and don't give a shit enough to stay on the line. No point in recording death threats either, it's how ruskies say hello.

But I still don't believe you - if you're typing this much you have time to take a pic or two, even something blurry and indistinct. Get a friend to help make some visual aids next time you want to RP.
>>
>>17715193
How do you hear the rustling of what you think are cats at a football field away?
Thread posts: 57
Thread images: 5


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.