Can't really explain this very well, but here goes. Sometimes

File: image.jpg (81KB, 540x614px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 540x614px

Can't really explain this very well, but here goes. Sometimes (doesn't matter the situation, as long as it's quiet I can do it anywhere), I imagine my self, my mind, my consciousness and I imagine it being connected to every other living being in the universe, the earth a just a speck of dust in this ever expanding universe and every living being as one, and as soon as I get a strong grip on this envisionment, I can feel something unexplainable, like I'm being lifted up or something. It's an inexplicable feeling. The only thing about it is, is that as soon as I do this and get this feeling- I panic and flinch and I lose it. I ask of you /X/ two things~
1: What is happening when I do this
2: How can I prevent myself from panicking and flinching. Now I know this is a lot to take in but please, I really want help with this. I've been able to do it my whole life but I (like humans do) fear the unknown and flinch out of pure muscle memory from doing it in the past. And please no trolling or people pushing the agendas of their personally held beliefs. Thank you