Archaeologists have been unable to determine the use or purp

It's a dildo.

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>>17115150

WOW

It's definitely a dildo.

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>>17115170
holy shit I think I got what it is. Watch this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCvx5gSnfW4 skip to about 1:20. He moves large stones with a rock. So put this under a large stone to rock it and of course only the CENTER is going to be as jacked up. Tie ropes to the ends and boom!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JYD5ZqLdaw

>>17115150
>Feel like making a joke before you die
>Make a random shape out of gold
>Imagine people 2k years later wondering what it was
>Gold so must be important right?
>Die laughing

Probably just an ornament of some kind. What would be the point in the gold coating if its a tool?

>>17115194
I recently buried a safe full of dragon dildos in my backyard.

I can only imagine both the disappointment and hilarity that will ensue when someone discovers it in the future.

>>17115212
it could be some tool for repairing a space saucer.

It's a golden whacking stick. Kings would use them to beat the shit out of everyone they didn't like.

Like a tuning fork the gold dildo resonates at frequency on the quantum level.

Every orifice this tool is inserted into will time travel to the very origin of dildo crafting which in alien time is about 200 light years.

>>17115182
If it is pure then it would crush under the weight.

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>>17115229
This was my initial thought followed by "people are going to say it's a dildo" followed by "it's a sceptre/symbol of status" and THEN ayy lmaos.

>>17115150
What if it's just a thing?

Some art someone made just to be looked at.

Door
Knob

>>17115289
I could see this for sure.
>>17115269
Na because then the middle part would not be worn out like that

>>17115150
Man that thing is very obviously machine fabricated. You can see by how clean the surface is they didnt have the necessary tools to get a finish that fine....now im not sayin it aint ancient...just if it is thats a "whole nother" can if worms

>>17115150
Israfag here.
It was found to be a device for "energetic healing" and other holistic bs.

story here
www ynet co il / articles / 0,7340,L-4742685,00 .html

its in hebrew so let chrome do the translate if you want.

>>17115343
>posting a related article
>"try harder kike"
are you autistic?

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>>17115150

>>17115150
http://www.amazon com/Foot-Roller-Body-back-Company/dp/B000KK2RJC

>>17115161
>>17115174
>>17115186
>>17115234
This.

>>17115357
are you autistic /pol/ virgin?

hod did they made this?

>>17115358
brass knuckles maybe

A rolling pin.

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It's a rich fag's massage tool, you bunch of dopey fucks.

>>17115182
This is a spool to craft magic scrafs and hats.
I'm serious. spell and spool have the same root.
Wimmens was magick when they turned sheep fluff into thread then into clothes. It's the reason why Tantra means thread.

Making clothes was a magick spell, making kings clothes required a golden double ended dildo device.

>>17115378
wow you really failed life haven't you?
I get what you're trying to do, so go ahead, shout at me everything you dream about shouting at your Jewish bosses every time they push you around. get it out of your system, sports.

>>17115429
why would I deny being jewish, you megafaggot? I thought I was pretty clear about it from the start.

>>17115438
Crazy people think that Jews control the world, which makes them think people deny being one of them. I know, it's mental. What do you expect from crazy?

>>17115150
looks like a foot massager.

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>>17115150
Obvi that Oldjews gettin Ripped /b/ro.
Pic Related, Found on wall of Ancient Hebrew Lifthouse.

>>17115438
This is why you are a piece of shit.
In Judaism, "chosenness" is the belief that the Jews, via descent from the ancient Israelites, are the chosen people,

Not because the super elite or illuminulty or anything similar. It is your self loving self praising that drives me up the wall faggot.

>>17115495
The three largest Jewish denominations— Orthodox Judaism, Conservative Judaism and Reform Judaism—maintain the belief that the Jews have been chosen by God for a purpose. Sometimes this choice is seen as charging the Jewish people with a specific mission — to be a light unto the nations, and to exemplify the covenant with God as described in the Torah.

>not knowing this much about their own religion

>>17115438
Know what you are representing before you come at me with your nonsensical shit.

>>17115402

yeah, a "massage tool"

>>17115498
>>17115498
Think I blew the minds of some with this.
Dont let thread die!!!
Bump for muscle massage!

>>17115150
could be a massage tool or meat tenderizer

>>17115174
>>17115186
>>17115358
almost definitely

>>17115495
>self loving self praising
.. because I didn't lie and said I wasn't Jewish? You are not the regular autist, you are a raging autist.

>>17115498
>>not knowing this much about their own religion
Not sure who you are talking to. I never even talked about Judaism and the raging autistic cuck is not a Jew.

>>17115713
If you gonna samefag at least make sense in your comments.

Enjoy being cucked by your Jewish boss, faggot. I dont know about other guys here but seeing your level of butthurtness, I do think I'm superior than you. And it has nothing to do with religion, cuckboy.

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>>17115728
LOL you are so cool and smart OMG you are so right LOL idk what you are thinking....

its fake. mystery solved. metals cant be radio carbon dated every one knows that.

what many dont know even christians is that god forbid melting metals in fucking exodus. your only suppose to beat them into shape kek

>>17115353
I could see that, yeah

>>17115216
>A.D. 2455
>"and this, kids, is an accurate reproduction of a man's genitalia from the 21st century"

>>17115150
Hyperpenis.

>>17115353
That's exactly what I thought when I first saw it.

>>17115402
Aka a dildo

>>17115150
Dual buttplug.

>>17115234
light year is a fucking measure of distance you goddamn imbecile

>>17115833
bumpy

>>17115150
Looks like an expensive door handle.

>>17115353
yeah its probably just a richfag version of this

ASS TO ASS

>>17116256
pretty much /thread

>>17115182
Good thinking, except gold is very soft and would not handle large weights. Not to mention, it does not explain the ridges.

>>17115150
read into king solomon and what he used to visit the queen of sheeba

funky shit

its a fucking

dil

>>17116890

Second.

>>17115353

I really would like to agree with this, but wouldn't the curvature hurt the parchment over time? Also the weight doesn't seem prudent in the same sense...

>>17115150
If it was covered in honey and inserted somewhere hmmm...

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>>17117002
Actually since you mentioned honey,I was wondering if maybe it could be a cooking tool. Considering it kind of looks similar to a honey comb. Maybe used to stir honey? Or maybe even something used to keep something fresh,like sugar?

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>>17115161
nah mang, it's a double sided butt plug

>>17117026
literal semen demon

>>17115353
good catch
/thread

>>17115260
Maybe it's commemorative, ala the Golden Spike?

>>17115216
Is this YLYL? bc i lost hard

>>17117278
i dont see any bananas

>>17115150
put some magnets around the ends and some brushes and u got an armature like part of an electro magnetic motor like a car starter

>>17115150
That is for rolling scrolls around I believe, a scroll holder.

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I'm not saying it's a dildo but..

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put ropes into the carvings?
to weigh?
a weight?
maybe a grip to a coffin?

just throwing these guesses out there

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>>17117365
But you know it's a dildo.

>>17115150
Really, faggot?

>>17116285

TONY GTFO

>>17115150
It's a really expensive rolling pin
Dead dude was a chef for the Pharos

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>>17117097
You must be mistaken. She's pure.

>>17117425
Pure concentrated sin.

>>17117425
>wears short skirts and shorts
>pure

what a slut

A tool made to weave the kings clothe!

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>>17117435
>>17117451

>>17117453
The sin of wrath.

>>17117458
What are you doing?

>>17117453
look at those lustful eyes, she probably wears pink panties too, the slut

>>17117464
Are you from /mu/ or trash/? Please go back there and leave me alone.

>>17117473
your waifu wears short skirts and shorts because she likes it when men watch her legs and asian ass

>>17117461
Pointing out her sin.

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>>17117290

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This is clearly a type of vajra-like tool. Weird because it was found in Jerusalem, but looks like a vajra, nonetheless. Prolly used for a similar purpose.

Pic related; another vajra

wasn't this confirmed to be a tool used for making yarn/fabric

>>17117687
No.

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>>17115407
I'm thinking anon has the most logical explanation.

>pic is what came to mind initially for some reason

>>17117761
You are wrong.

Its a stargate key

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>>17115150
http://www.bharmonymegastore.com/Offre-speciale-Harmoniseurs-Beamer-Weber-Bio-Maison-Moi

http://www.goyavi.com/448-harmoniseur-beamer-weber-isis-bio-pendentif.html

>>17115150

Bury me with my golden double dildo.

Elephant butt plug

>>17117863
fuck that table boi

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>>17117818
One ring for each of the chevrons. It checks out.

>>17115174
A double ended dildo

a dildo (for aliens)

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An obvious golden double butt plug. The ancient aliens knew how to plug two butts together.

Like a rolling pin but for massaging the back duh

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>>17117863

File: honey.jpg (5KB, 160x90px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17115150
MAYBE I GOT IT. I KNOW EGYPT HAD HONEY AND CULTIVATED IT TOO. IT WAS A THING LIKE PIC RELATED TO EAT HONEY FROM

>>17119871
/thread

>>17119871
I mean if I wanted to eat honey and I was rich as fuck I would eat it from a 8.5 kg gold stuff since why not. 4500 years ago people where always people

HONEY in egypt!, you stupid fuck...get out from your cave.

>>17115170
It looks like something decorative.

>>17120272
Nope, you're stupid murican cunt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Egyptian_cuisine

>>17120272
I'll buy you this golden thing so you can put it in your ass. HONEY WAS CULTIVATED IN EGYPT!!!

>>17115150
Anyone know anything archaeologist? I have a large bone that is in dire need of examination

>>17115150
it is a butt dildo u fag u know this

>>17115833
Any measure of distance is also a measure of time, and vice versa.
It's pretty obvious what the corresponding time interval is.

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[insert epic witty comment about dildos]

G-guys, look at how HILARIOUS I am!

>So what is the mystery object?

>A German company, Webber, has identified it as one of its products: an "Isis beamer."

>Never heard of it? Neither had anyone in Israel, apparently (or most likely anywhere else). It is, apparently, a tool used for "energy healing," named after the Egyptian goddess of magic and life (not the modern-day genocidal Islamist terrorist group - now that would be an odd choice of branding).

>With that mystery solved, the IAA is now seeking to understand who planted the tool in a box in the middle of a cemetery, and why.


/x/ was wrong again

it's for kegel exercises

>>17119297
ASS TO ASS

File: sword.png (175KB, 900x371px) Image search: [Google]

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Find the on button

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Guys I figured it out

>>17115150
Maybe it's some kind of doorhandle for a special door?

>>17115509
Massages your butthole

Gold is known to be a very good conductor of electricity.

Maybe they used it in their electroplating process.

>>17117522
What is a vajra ?

>>17120884
Newfag.

>>17120422
>Any measure of distance is also a measure of time
How old are you in kilometers, fucktard?

>>17115150
not sure

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it's suprem german technology
http://weberbio.de/entstoergeraete/weber-isis-beamer-1-89.html

>>17120518
>who planted the tool in a box in the middle of a cemetery, and why
Maybe he wanted to take it back to Isis in afterlife.

>>17119871
You are fucking wrong.

>>17115150
GUYS
WHAT IF SOMEONE MADE IT
JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKED COOL
NOT EVERYTHING HAD A PURPOSE
GOD DAMN IT YOU GUYS

some type of ancient dabber/bong part.

>>17115811
>>17117085
>>17119297
>>17120340

The mystery has been solved hours ago. Why is this thread still going?

>>17121216
"Why hasn't 4chan's /x/ responded sanely or intelligently to provided facts about some stupid nonsense they flipped out over a few days ago? Why are they going to continue to gas on about this stupid shit every day for the next year? OHMERGEERD IT MAKES NO SENSE!"

Oh, wait, it's because /x/ is the holding cell for some of the least intelligent or sane people on a website full of notoriously insane and stupid people, right, hahaha, forgot for a second there...

>>17115150
>>17115170

ASS TO ASS

>>17121238
You didn't even get the joke, did you

>>17121257
You are right. I am just not very intelligent. That's because I'm a huge faggot who simply enjoys sucking dick. But I'm sure you could already tell that by my stupid contributions.

I'm also a horrible newfag who doesn't know how trips work.

>>17121266
Kek

>>17121257
/x/ is the joke

Correction, - I'm the joke

Because of my incredible man lust

>>17120903
Seven and a half.

>>17120956
why no one replying to this? its looks exactly like the one in OP post holy fuck.

>>17121358
You'll figure it out sherlock...

>>17120956
fuck.

>>17121358
looking at the coments, it seems this thread is filled with shills to derail the topic (countilpro tactic).

>>17116285
>>17120539
>>17121248

/x/ I am proud

>>17121457
>>17121358
You're not from around here, are you faggot?

>>17121457
Yes. That and a few paranoid people who have it all figured out.
I'm not sure if I should advise you to lurk more or get out more.

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Clearly this object was machined on a lathe.

Showing evidence of technology far in the past.

>>17120956
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT

>Several months ago, a maintenance worker for the cemetery noticed an abandoned package inside an old structure on the grounds. In accordance with security protocol, the worker immediately alerted police forces in the area who carried out a controlled explosion within the building to eliminate any possible threat from the package.
>The damage caused to the structure revealed a gold-colored object which was turned over to the authority for study.

That's some art bell tier hoaxing to cover the grave robbing those jews were doing.

>>17120956
Did some German just decide to toss that in a grave while fucking around in Jerusalem? The two items seem almost entirely alike, except this one probably isn't solid gold.

>>17122149
Maybe they stole Jewish magic when they were hanging around the middle east, circa WWII

And now it's been cast to fringe psuedo-science, because of dis/misinformation like Orgone energy, Pyramid Ray Energy, et al

>>17115161

Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo...never your dildo.

>>17120956
lmao god kikes are dumber than dogshit :D

>>17122203
kek

>>17120537

Stop buttfucking guys

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>>17115150

That thing is still in use today, but not very common. When you want to hang a long scroll made of thick fabric on a wall, you use a heavy weight on the bottom to keep it straight and unwrinkled. I don't know if I remember correctly, but I saw a similar one made of wood in a Smithsonian magazine.

>>17115150
that's a fucking isis beamer.

It would look pretty cool with a solid stream of running water on it.

>>17122533
wow this seems right.... you should email the news writers anon

>>17122533
why is the middle worn out then? I had a warning :(

Doubled-headed dildo. So picture to hairy Jew chicks going to town on each other, scissor-style...

>>17120956
So what exactly is this thing? I don't understand german

It is for massaging, not in dildo ways, but rolling that in the back of kings

>>17124954
...and for his concubines to ride each other scissor-style.

pretty sure its an egyptian tool used to harness energy, vibration, etc

>>17124978
...yep, that's what dildos do.

>>17124953
Forcefield against ISIS

>>17119894
>4500 years ago people where always people
deep

None of these explainations explain the ware on the middle... "Ridge"?

>>17115161
I know you're joking but its still way to big and wonky looking.

Couldn't it be some kind of giant honey comb? That's what it looks like to me.

>>17115150
I'm a university lecturer in ancient art. in my opinion this is not ancient.

>>17117863
a-are you archeologist?

>>17125237
ERM, one does. the thing causing a headache amongst the archeological world of Jerusalem is a 75euro pendant, its most likely worn on the middle ridge as this will be the most likely point of contact to a person if worn in its necklace configuration - its also brass plated, not gold, hence the dulling.

maybe it used to make patterns on stone?

or it could be giant person jewelry?

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you gullible fucks

File: beamer1.jpg (17KB, 500x368px) Image search: [Google]

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"best to start small and work your way up."
- Bailey Jay

>>17115263
KUBATON STRONG

>>17120956God damn jewsss

>>17115353
>12 Tevet 5776
>Goys still use wood to roll their scrolls
Oy vey.

>>17120956

"The Isis-Beamer working around the clock for us, you can create a protection field, as it is created by spiritual energies or meditation, but as a field must be refreshed repeatedly The advantage of Isis-Beamer:... Their energy is probably permanently radiated. Until I had made the first Isis-Beamer for hanging finished, I have long meditated about it. I wanted to offer a small mobile device after Isis Orgonstrahler. A crop circle motif gave the initial inspiration. This form I wanted to merge with the grooves . Then came the Sacred Geometry added. The Sacred Geometry describes what lies behind the physical existence. crystals, metals and organic cells can all be traced back to certain geometrical bodies. Within the physical existence are all existent basis only five bodies also are called Platonic solids. Based on the measure of the cosmic key, 7.23 cm, the shape of the Isis-Beamer has constructed as if by magic. This form is the way to find in ancient Egypt as a headdress. Pharaohs have so to speak carried a halved Isis Beamer as crown and thus receive higher inspiration. At that time I distributed some prototypes. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive: The Isis-Beamer would boost the body's energy field and open our minds to new insights. That's what I wanted to achieve! A hard 'scientific functional evidence I can not offer. However, the Isis-Beamer have now been sold around 40,000 copies. I would say, because they think, what their shape promises! There is also a seven-sided test study of Hagalis Institute, which sets out that the Isis Beamer can shield radiation effects of mobile phones. "

That is their front page run through google translate.

If this German inventor based this off of Egyptian designs, what are the chances the archaeologists found one of the original ones

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>>17121238
PRETENDING

>>17126257
>A crop circle motif gave the initial inspiration

the most ancient and mysterious of Egyptian icon.

It is for toildet paper rolls

That's just a double sided dildo...

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>>17126454
Guess what? 2000 years ago, lesbians existed!

>>17126462
We are going to need pictures. ;)

>>17115407

This is what I thought too when I saw it. That, or some king's honey thing. Was trying to figure out how the latter would work though. I'd go with spool.

Not everything is aliens and most things are pretty mundane.

>>17126462
To be honest that is not exactly true.
While 2000 years ago it was quite normal for men to have sex with boys anally, the women did not really seek it out sex with women as some sort of love. That is more of a modern concept. While yes it happened, it was not exactly the same thing. You have to look at it the way it works, age wise an older women gains no love from penetrating a younger women the way men did, if it was done it was usually done for more sadistic reasons.

>>17120956
Mystery solved, move along tinfoils.

>>17117780

u r shill

>>17117863
dinnere

>>17115150
Looks like a TARDIS part.

>>17119297
That's how they reproduced

>>17126257
So it's like a healing crystal or some other thing that is in the public scope of "New Age Mysticism".

>>17115150
It's an ancient dildo

>>17129656
>a healing crystal or some other thing that is in the public scope of "New Age Mysticism"
crystals have existed for thousands of years anon

>>17115442
>Crazy people think that Jews control the world,
.50 usd has been deposited courtesy of soros foundation

>>17115150

To me it looks like a gold version of a lead roller for lead valleys in the roofing trade, you would roll it along soft lead in a join on a changing angle on a slate, tile or even tar roof. much like saddams gold ak47 i wonder if it was just the vain property of a successful man.

you guys are too quick to jump to aliens

its not even real gold you can see in the centre where plating has been rubbed off. gold doesnt tarnish like that.

its not old or magical its gold plated you guys are retarded

>>17115150
Dude it's just one of those things you wrap a scroll around...

>>17132197
See this: http://72.32.137.209/piction/ump.show_public_image?v_umo=12831365&quality=O3

lol you people... it's a scroll thing, idk the name for it. But that's it.

>scroll through thread
>feels like i'm on /b/
what the heck?

>>17115150
Dildo

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>>17115150
>http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/History-mystery-Gold-tool-discovered-in-cemetery-structure-leaves-archaeologists-stumped-438035
it's a scam, idiot

>>17115150
Really, faggot?

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You guys are dumb. It's obviously an ancient Shake Weight.

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http://hexanews.com/2015/12/24/facebook-users-identify-mysterious-jerusalem-relic.html

>>17115216
Implying this will have the same effect, people will be knowledgable of dildos for centuries to come and you'll just look like a huge faggot.

Well done for not understanding how communication works within the past, present and future though. Moron.

>not knowing about golden meme tenderizers

>>17134860
He never implied it would have the exact same effect. Laughter and anger clearly imply the excavators will instantly recognize novelty dildos, and by misunderstanding his post, you've shown that you're the moron.